FicWad

The next evening I sat in my room attempting to play the acoustic guitar I'd stolen off Mikey. It was given to him for his eleventh birthday but he'd never played it either. He much prefered playing his bass guitar. So I was sat in my bedroom plucking away at the strings, not playing anything in particular (simply because I didn't know how) and singing "Wow... Wa-wow... Wa-wa-wow..."

Mom walked into my bedroom with knocking "That is beautiful."

I held out my arms and she appluaded "Never even had one lesson!"

"That girl from yesterday came round again. She said to give you this." There was a rectunaglar shaped orange box in her hand.

I gestured towards the bed "Well put it amongst the pile of gifts from the many other women in my life."

Mom placed it gently on the bed then took a seat "She seems like a nice kid." She paused "She also seems incredibly gay."

"A complete lesbian that girl is." I replied, looking back down at the guitar.

"Well, me and your father just wanted you to know that we don't mind you not making us grand-parents. Though we were hoping you'd get someone knocked up so we could have a real shot at raising a kid. You know, do it right this time!"

"Uhh Mom..."

"You know I dated a homosexual once," Mom told me, leaning back against my bed "For a long time actually. A long time..."

"Dear lord, dear god, please don't tell me you married and had children with him."

Mom laughed "No! Of course not." She stood up "Your Father is as straight as they come. In fact, a little too straight if you know what I mean boyfriend."

I was disgusted "Uhh no, I don't..."

Then Mom started shaking her butt and making strange noises as she walked towards the door "Uh-huh... That's right... Take that out to Dad."

When Mom shut the door I pounced on the gift. I opened it and found something long and straight in some wrapping paper and a £50 gift voucher for Target. The note that had been left said 'Just in case you don't like Target, then you can go screw yourself :) - Aven xx'

I laughed and put down my gift when my phone started ringing. I grabbed my phone and looked at the caller idea. It was Zia "Hello?"

"Is it true you got with Aven at Nicole Dipshits party?"

"Is that what everyone's saying happened?"

"Yes!"

"Well then I guess it's true."

"Look just because you lost your virginity once doesn't mean you can go round throwing your shark at everybody!"

"I'm-I'm not throwing my shark at everyone." I replied, not quite understanding. At that moment my 'gift' started vibrating. I grabbed the box and it soon stopped.

"Did you know I heard this from Ray Toro? Do you know how embarrassing that is? I had to hear something about my best friend from Ray Toro!"

"That must've been pretty humiliating."

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to the party? I'd have gone too and handed out condoms or something."

"Are you really making this about you right now?"

"Well excuse me if I think it's a best friends duty to inform him that everyone, and I do mean everyone, is calling him a dirty skank!"

My mouth fell open "And do you think that I'm a dirty skank?"

"Huh. I didn't wanna believe it but I guess the rumour's are true. That's your identifier."

I laughed sarcastically then snarled "And you're just a jealous virgin." I hung up my phone and chucked it at the bed.

People thought I was a dirty skank? I'd be the dirtiest skank they've ever seen!

[A/N] - This a little harder to write out than I thought it'd be :L I'll figure it out :D