FicWad

She blushed, glad that Jack couldn’t see it in the dim light of the coloured carnival light bulbs. “I know he loves me, it’s just… I don’t think he likes being with me very much anymore.” She ducked her head. God, it hurt so much worse to admit it out loud, even when she was drunk. “I mean- even now, he’s out here on that fucking rollercoaster he loves so much, when he told me he was going to his mum’s. Who knows what girl he’s with?” Jack tilted his head, considering, then stood up, having to duck to avoid hitting his head. “Come with me.” He said. She looked up, having to fight back thoughts of how perfectly his sandy brown hair fell over his eyes. She had a boyfriend, she reminded herself sternly. A boyfriend who she was sure still loved her, despite whatever was going on inside his head right now. She should not be thinking about how amazing another boy’s hair was. She stood up anyway, not needing to duck at all. “Why?” she asked curiously. “I want to show you something.” Came his serious reply. He began to make his way out from under the stage, and she couldn’t help noticing how strong his arms looked, and how lean and slender he looked under that black shirt. She shook her head. She could feel that she was drunk, but she really couldn’t be bothered to care. She edged out after him, blinking at the sudden rush of light, colour, and sound. She hesitated, disorientated and confused about what she was doing. “I- need to go to the bathroom.” She stuttered out, turning to make her way to the block. “I’ll be here.” He grinned. She smiled. Nice that someone would be. She walked over, stumbling slightly, and pushed open the door. Once inside she turned to the dirty mirror, gripping the edges of the sink. She really had to pull herself together. She could feel she was one drink away from doing something she’d regret, with Matt’s best friend, of all people. She should have known it was a mistake to come here tonight. She flicked her pink hair from her eyes. She loved it all the more for the fact Jack loved it. She groaned. Why did everything lead back to Jack? She couldn’t answer her own question, so she uneasily put it out of her head. She would be fine. She could control herself. Really. She took a deep breath, splashed her face with water in a desperate bid to sober herself up, and went outside. There he was, as promised, clutching a large wad of candyfloss. She felt her resolve wobble all over again. He knew she loved candyfloss. And had he- had he deliberately torn it into the shape of a heart? She chewed her lip. Could it be so bad? Her brain shouted a very definite yes, but her whole body, whole heart said something different. Without a word, as though it was the most natural thing in the world, he tore off a piece of candyfloss and placed it on her tongue. Her body melted just as fast as the spun sugar, and the night air suddenly seemed just as sweet. He took her hand, causing her heart to beat hard enough that she could hear it, and led her away from everyone. He stopped beside a low wall. “Can you climb?” he asked, his eyes sparkling, as he clambered onto the wall. “Not while you make my knees so weak.” She muttered out loud, and then clapped her hand over her mouth, hoping he hadn’t heard. He didn’t seem to have noticed. She nodded as he looked around, and scrambled up beside him. From the wall they climbed onto a low roof, and from the low roof, up to a higher one. From here she could see the whole carnival, bright and shining as far as she could see. “Was this what you wanted to show me?” she said breathlessly. He nodded. “This, and… Something else.” She turned. “What else?” he looked nervous. “You know what- nothing.” She crawled closer. She sat beside him, and following his line of vision noticed that a button on her top had come undone. Feeling reckless, she left it undone. He let out a breath. “Well- I know Jack hasn’t been treating you right lately. And… well I know why.” He looked uncomfortable. “Why?” she asked after a pause. “Well…” “Please?” she asked, putting her hand on his thigh. She hadn’t meant to, but she felt the atmosphere become electric. He looked at her, his eyes wide. She felt her breathing speed up, and knew that something was about to happen. “You have candyfloss on your lip.” He said with his face suddenly only an inch away from her own. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and then, finally, she felt the warm pressure of his lips on hers. She leaned and pressed her body against him, months of tension and chemistry finally coming to a head. She felt his gasp, felt him gently lick the candyfloss from her lower lip, and tasted the sweetness on his tongue. She finally abandoned the last of her restraint, and unbuttoned her top the rest of the way. She felt Jack’s hands on her skin, and it felt like she had caught fire. She ran her hands over his chest, tracing his muscles with her fingertips. He bit her lip, and what with pain being her weakness, she moaned. Loudly. She felt his smile as he pressed his lips to her neck, and managed to stifle her second moan as he bit down. She reached down his jeans and began to rub, exhilarated and turned on. He reached lower too, and she was completely unable to stop the soft moans and high pitched noises that kept spilling out. By that point she was too far gone to stop, too far gone to want to stop, and she didn’t even hesitate when he pulled down her jeans. She undid the button on his jeans and suddenly Matt seemed a million miles away, and she didn’t even care.
She slid off of Jack, panting hard, his name still hanging on her lips. She slumped against his shoulder, tired and happy. Happy, until the tidal wave of guilt crashed down over her. She felt sick as she remembered Matt smiling and telling her he loved her, picking her up and swinging her round and laughing together. But then she remembered his face as he yelled at her, his sharp words stinging as if they were leaving tiny cuts in her skin. She remembered the doubts that had circled in her head like vultures, wondering if she was the only girl in his life. A small, sad smile crept onto her face. Not a lot she could say about that now. She decided to stop thinking. She was happy, tonight. That was enough.
It was only some time later, when they both went to get dressed, that she realised her shirt was missing. “Fuck.” She said weakly. “It must have blown away.” Jack said, looking as guilty as she’d felt. “Here-“ He handed her his shirt, pulling his T-shirt over his head. She was sorry to see his chest vanish behind the black material. She buttoned his shirt over her chest, noticing it was like a black tent draped over her petite frame. It came down to her knees. “How am I going to explain this to Matt?” she groaned, knowing that he would instantly recognise the shirt, and instantly jump to the worst, albeit true conclusion.
He hesitated. “I spilled my drink all over you.” He said. “And… I took it home in my bag to wash so you didn’t have to carry it round.” She looked up at his guilty expression. “He doesn’t have to know?” she said, almost asking him. He bit his lip, and despite the awful situation she couldn’t help but think how endearing it was. “I… Um…” He looked away, out over the carnival. “Jack?” she asked. He shook his head. “No. Let’s not tell him, not yet, anyway.” She nodded; comforted that he had made the decision. She curled back into his shoulder, both of them in silence. “What now?” she asked quietly. “Do we pretend it never happened?” He sighed. “I don’t want to. God, I know it’s stupid, dangerous… but I want you, Zoey. I care about you so much… I want you to be happy.” Her eyes began to water dangerously. “I do too, Jack, I just- I just don’t know what to do about Matt. I love him, but Jack, I love you too, and you make me a lot happier. He’s seemed so distant… He’s your best friend. Hasn’t he talked to you?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his long sandy hair. “Zoey… Look. I need to tell you… We aren’t… Just friends.” He said haltingly. “You mean…” she didn’t finish her sentence. Her brain just couldn’t process what he was implying. “I love you both, so much.” He said bluntly, looking her straight in the eyes. “So you- love Matt? Like, Love him the way you love me?” she asked. He nodded. “And he loves me back- that’s why he’s been acting so weird around you. He feels guilty, and doesn’t know what to do about the fact he’s in love with a guy.” She took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay.” She realised with a little jolt that she didn’t care. She loved them both. Jack loved them both. Matt loved them both. How could she be angry? They were all quits, in a way. They were all in love with each other. And it was fine. “Why don’t you come home with me?” she said. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, an oddly chaste gesture after what they’d just done. He smiled. “Thanks, Zoey. You’re not mad?” she shook her head. “How can I be mad? I love you both too.”


She lay in the centre of the large bed, Matt on one side with his inky hair sprawled across her chest, one arm flung across her stomach, and Jack on the other, one leg hooked over both her and Matt’s hips and his face pushed into her neck. She noticed that Jack’s fingers were hooked around Matt’s, and smiled affectionately. She kissed the tops of both of their heads. God, she loved them.