Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Inside an Institution
December 5th, 2003
The bright lights are blinding, I would cover my face but, that is impossible right now. My arms are constricted, and I cannot move them.I already know where I am; Solitary Confinement. I am going to be completely honest with myself and say they probably need to keep me here. Jumping from a window has not been one of my better ideas. I admit, I have been a bit impulsive lately.
A nurse intereupted my thoughts. "Miss Violet, you have a visitor", upon hearing no reply she continued, "I will let him in now."
Him? Has Gerard come to see me? What will I say?
"Hey Vi", it was my cousin Frank. I guess you could call him my brother, Aunt Linda is his mother.
"Frankie, what are you doing here? I hate for you to see me like this", I couldn't even bare to look into his eyes. He can read me like a book.
"They called mom the day that...", he paused. "They called the day that it happened"
I could hear the sadness in his voice. I know I have let him down. I promised I would be okay. I always wondered why people made promises that they couldn't keep and well, here I am.
"Oh... about that"
"Yeah about that, Vi. What's going on in that little head of yours? I know us leaving was hard to deal with but damn, things didn't have to end up this way."
A single tear slid down my cheek. He was right, things didn't have to be this way. I made them this way with my own selfishness.
I swallowed my pride and asked the question I have needed to ask for so long.
"Frankie, how's Gerard?"
He sighed, "He's seen better days. I don't mean to be rude, however, he is doing a hell of a lot better than you are."
"I just want to go home and start over. I never wanted things to be this way.", I sobbed.
He took this as a good time to walk over to me and leaned down to hug me. I cried into his shirt.I missed my Frankie, he could always make me feel so safe. I wanted so badly to return the hug.
The door swung open signaling that our visit was over. Frank leaned over and kissed my forehead before walking out the door. Tears were still falling from my eyes when the nurse walked over to search me. This is standard procedure to make sure my visitor had not given me anything. She finished her search and walked back out the door.
I closed my eyes and drifted into a dreamless sleep, hoping that when I woke up I would no longer be considered a threat to myself. Maybe, if I am lucky I will be allowed regular visits now like most people in this hospital. I will change. I need to straighten my life out. But, for now I am stuck in this padded room.
The bright lights are blinding, I would cover my face but, that is impossible right now. My arms are constricted, and I cannot move them.I already know where I am; Solitary Confinement. I am going to be completely honest with myself and say they probably need to keep me here. Jumping from a window has not been one of my better ideas. I admit, I have been a bit impulsive lately.
A nurse intereupted my thoughts. "Miss Violet, you have a visitor", upon hearing no reply she continued, "I will let him in now."
Him? Has Gerard come to see me? What will I say?
"Hey Vi", it was my cousin Frank. I guess you could call him my brother, Aunt Linda is his mother.
"Frankie, what are you doing here? I hate for you to see me like this", I couldn't even bare to look into his eyes. He can read me like a book.
"They called mom the day that...", he paused. "They called the day that it happened"
I could hear the sadness in his voice. I know I have let him down. I promised I would be okay. I always wondered why people made promises that they couldn't keep and well, here I am.
"Oh... about that"
"Yeah about that, Vi. What's going on in that little head of yours? I know us leaving was hard to deal with but damn, things didn't have to end up this way."
A single tear slid down my cheek. He was right, things didn't have to be this way. I made them this way with my own selfishness.
I swallowed my pride and asked the question I have needed to ask for so long.
"Frankie, how's Gerard?"
He sighed, "He's seen better days. I don't mean to be rude, however, he is doing a hell of a lot better than you are."
"I just want to go home and start over. I never wanted things to be this way.", I sobbed.
He took this as a good time to walk over to me and leaned down to hug me. I cried into his shirt.I missed my Frankie, he could always make me feel so safe. I wanted so badly to return the hug.
The door swung open signaling that our visit was over. Frank leaned over and kissed my forehead before walking out the door. Tears were still falling from my eyes when the nurse walked over to search me. This is standard procedure to make sure my visitor had not given me anything. She finished her search and walked back out the door.
I closed my eyes and drifted into a dreamless sleep, hoping that when I woke up I would no longer be considered a threat to myself. Maybe, if I am lucky I will be allowed regular visits now like most people in this hospital. I will change. I need to straighten my life out. But, for now I am stuck in this padded room.
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