FicWad

A/N: I struggled tons with this part and I honestly have no idea if it's good. I read through it before posting and I feel happy with it. It's just so angsty and sometimes it might be a bit stale and boring. I have no idea. Please let me know, it would mean the world to me. Thank you to everyone reading and don't be afraid to comment and tell me what you think. Enjoy! xoxo


For the next week, Mikey spends every second that he's awake on the ground next to Alicia's grave. He puts up her favorite kinds of lilies and strokes her carved out name on the cold headstone. After a few days his tears seem to run out and he sinks into a numb depression that wraps around him like darkness envelops the day at nightfall.

Mikey doesn't come back at his usual time one night and Gerard is besides himself with worry. He's been coming home at 10 every night for a week and at midnight Gerard is pacing the kitchen as Lindsey tries to call Mikey for the fifth time.

"Still no answer, sweetie." She says carefully, trying to make eyecontact with her distraught husband. Gerard stops and rubs his face, exhausted with worry.

"Ok that's it. I'm going over there." He sighs and grabs his keys before rushing to the front door, not even bothering with a sweater or jacket.

"Wait!" Lindsey calls out. Gerard stops and finally meets her eyes for the first time in an hour. Worry and fear is washing over his face and she nods.

"Just.. take it easy on him." The couple shares a quick kiss before Gerard leaves the house and drives over to the cemetary a half an hour away. Millions of thoughts are running through his head as he drives. Maybe Mikey went home, or he could have went to see someone else. Maybe he did something stupid. Panic rises as he steps on the gas a bit harder, making his way to the graveyard.

He stops the car outside and exhales deeply as he sees a shadowed figure sitting on the ground, leaning against Alicia's headstone. He's here and he's ok.. well he's alive. Gerard makes his way slowly over to the hunched man and sits down infront of him.

"Mikey.. Mikey, it's late. Let's go home." He's not getting any kind of reaction. He moves a bit closer and pulls the hood of the sweather down from his head, shaking him slightly.

"Mikey, come on we're leaving." He says quietly but it's like he's talking to a dummy. Mikey's eyes are far, far away and Gerard is not getting a responce out of him.

"Oh Mikey... come on, it's gonna be ok." He whispers gently as he puts Mikey's right arm around his shoulders and makes the taller man stand up with him. This is worse than he even imagined. He feels like he's losing Mikey as well.

They walk over to the car and Mikey is going through the motions of sitting down and leaning back but it's like he's not actually there. Gerard looks at his little brother for a while, hoping he'll come back, before he sighs and starts the car back up. He drives them home in silence before leading Mikey into the house. Lindsey walks up to them with a weak smile.

"Heey Mikey.. what happened? We...were..." She stops talking as she sees his face properly and just looks at him sadly, not able to meet his eyes even though she tries her hardest.

"Mikey.." She whispers softly as Gerard walks him over to the couch and he sits down slowly and leans back. Lindsey slumps down on the couch next to Mikey and takes his hand, watching his face with worry. His face is completely slack and his eyes are miles, or maybe years, away. But there's still something about his face, a destortian of pain, that breaks her heart into a million pieces.

They sit up with Mikey for quite some time that night but there's nothing they can do. There's nothing they can say that will snap him out of it right now. Gerard carefully lays him down on the big couch with a blanket, hoping he'll fall asleep, before taking Lindseys hand and walking upstairs to get some sleep. It's a terrible night and they fall asleep with aching hearts, holding each other close.

The next few days are spent trying to talk to Mikey and shake him out of his trance like state. He's permanent fixture on the couch now where he sits, curled up, either looking out the window or looking straight into nothing. They have no idea what is going on in his head or if he's even aware of where he is. He's going through the motions of eating and sitting and sleeping. Sometimes he would get up and go to the bathroom or get something to drink and sometimes he would sigh or move slightly. That's all the life signs they got from him.

After several days of Mikey being on that couch and not saying a word, Gerard gets a psychologist to come over and examen Mikey. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"When did she pass away?" The shrink asks carefully and Gerard bites back the sadness bubbeling up.

"3 weeks ago." He says shakily and the skrink nods, keeping his eyes on the younger brother with a focused frown.

"I see.. that's recent. I've seen this many times before. The person misses their loved one so much that they completely shut down so they don't have to feel as much pain." He explains to the couple before turning back to Mikey.

"I'm afraid there's not much I can do. You say he still gets up sometimes and he changes positions so he's still there.. deep inside. There's not much to do but wait." He tells them somberly before getting up and leaving his number if they need him again. Lindsey slumps down in the arm chair, exhausted and sad, as she looks at Mikey.

"Please come back, Mikey.." She whispers shakily as Gerard sits down next to her and wraps his arms around her waist. They feel so powerless and useless as they sit there watching as Mikey slips further away, not being able to help in any way. They can't even imagine the pain he must be feeling as they hold each other closer.

The days pass slowly and Mikey keeps walking around the house like a zombie. Not talking, not smiling as he stays trapped in his own mind. They don't feel comfortable at all to send him home on his own, they can't. So they bring Mikey's dog to stay with them as they leave the cats with Alicia's friend. It'll have to work for now.

Mikey's dog, Piglet, wants to pounce on his daddy but when he's not met with the same excitement from Mikey he just jumps up on the couch and puts his big, wrinkly head in Mikey's lap gently. Gerard feels like jumping with joy as he sees Mikey putting his hand on the dog's head. It's the little things. Maybe they should have brought the pets before. They try everything but it seems hopeless.

But one day things take a turn for the worse. It's been so quiet and somber in the house for so long now that it's a complete shock for Gerard when he comes home to find Mikey shouting over the phone with someone.

"No! You can't throw that away! No.. you don't throw anything away! I want it there. I don't care if I'm not there!! Everything stays!!" Mikey's shouting, crying and shaking like a leaf as he tries to hold the phone at the same time. Gerard runs over grabs the phone, tearing it away from his brother and hanging up.

"Mikey... hey, what's going on??" Gerard grabs Mikey's shoulders, holding him still as Mikey hyperventilates angrily.

"They can't just throw her stuff away. They can't!" He yells and Gerard shakes him.

"Hey. Mikey.. sshh it's ok. You need to calm down." Gerard tries but Mikey is so angry and hysterical. He growls and wipes his eyes roughly.

"It's our.. my apartment. They can't just throw things out. I'm going over there." He snaps as he stands up, walking over to the door. He's boiling inside with anger and his whole body is buzzing, he feels so alive and his head is spinning. Gerard tries to stop him but he shakes him off.

"No.. why are you stopping me? They have no right." He sighs angrily and keeps walking.

"Mikey, please. They're her brothers. They have rights to her things as well." Gerard says carefully and Mikey turns around quickly and glares at him.

"Wow.. thanks. Well I'm going there and you can do whatever the fuck you want!" He shouts and punches the wall forcefully before leaving the house and getting into his car. Gerard runs out and swiftly jumps into the car next to him.

"I'm going with you but you need to calm down." His brother tries firmly but he just starts the car and takes off out of the driveway, making his way home to their apartment. A place he hasn't been at since the day they burried his wife and his life shattered around him. But rage is boiling under his skin and he's going there now. He can barely see straight as he drives quickly on the empty road. All he knows is that he's beyond pissed and he's going over there to see her brothers. All rational thinking goes out the window, this could get ugly.