Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Pen Pals

Jackass.

by Sam_Speaks 6 reviews

"You called me a jackass, you jackass!"....."I only called you a jackass because you were being a jackass! I was merely stating the facts."

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres:  - Published: 2012-06-23 - Updated: 2012-06-24 - 643 words - Complete

5Funny
Gerard,

How was I supposed to know you'd get stuck with the counselor? You're alive, aren't you? And it's not like I asked your stupid math teacher to read the letter.
I guess I may as well tell you about myself now, since I was too annoyed before to do it, even though you hate me.

I'm 16, too. A junior. I like chocolate and I find it hard to believe that you hate it. Maybe you didn't mean it when you wrote it? People say stupid things when they're mad. Oh, well.

I happen to think that this pen pal-thing-in-one-school is stupid, too. (That's one of the things in your first letter that pissed me off, how you sort of assumed that you were the only one that didn't like it.) I think my English teacher said something about 'drawing us all together' and 'bonding', but for once I wasn't listening, so I don't really remember.

I like the color silver.

And I'm not a homophobe.

Regards,

Anthony

__________________________________________________________

Zederick,

Don't get me wrong, I still hate you. But, again, I really need this grade because I want to graduate with everyone else.

Chocolate is disgusting. Don't make me tell you again. I hate the taste, the smell, the feel… it's a brown, revolting mess that melts under any temperature above freezing, for God's sake.

Yes, you are a homophobe. If I may quote from your kind letter you wrote a few days ago-
'…and then suddenly receiving a crap letter from some gay jackass.'
You called me a gay jackass. You jackass.

Sincerely,
Gerard Way

_____________________________________________________________

Dear Gerard,

I didn't mean it that way. I don't really have anything against gay people. I don't want to talk about it.

And I only called you a jackass because you were being a jackass. I was merely stating the facts.

You're so sensitive.

Regards,
Anthony

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Zederick,

Remember a few days ago we were talking about crap letters? That was a crap letter if I ever saw one.

Issue #1: You obviously had something against gay people at the time, if not now. If you hadn't meant it that way, you would have rearranged the sentence. Jackass.

Issue #2: I'm not sensitive. I just take offense when homophobes like you ruin my life, and then have the nerve to continue the shit about my sexuality. I swear, if I ever find that guy who spilt to those seniors, I will break every bone in his body. It's his fault that I have to deal with people like you.

Later, jackass.

Sincerely and all that,

Gerard

_________________________________________________________
Dear Gerard,

Will you please drop the jackass thing. I seriously didn't mean anything by it. You're not a jackass, okay? You're so annoying, drop it.

The issues you pointed out were completely wrong. I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY. I do have something against you because you take everything I say the wrong way.

And you shouldn't threaten people you don't even know. Maybe the guy that spilled the beans about you a few weeks ago is actually a girl.

Regards,

Anthony

_____________________________________________________

Dear Zederick,

You think I care if the dude is actually a girl? I don't mind breaking a girl's legs, if she's the girl that helped spread the rumor. I have enough going on in my life without anyone, male or freaking female, telling the whole school that I'm gay.
And I still think you're a jackass.

Sincerely,
Gerard

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Hey guys, sorry I didn't get this up yesterday. I was helping my friend dye her hair darker last night and I had bass lessons this morning. Hope you all like, as usual!

and, LIKE, SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M ALL HAPPY AND SHIT AND EXCITED AND :DDDDDDD

I LOVE YOU!

-Sam

(Remember- Rates and reviews make Sam smileeee!!!! :D)
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