FicWad

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Writting has never been enough and now here I lay in the hospital restrained to the bed. My mom came in with tears running down her face. This is exactly what i was running from. Why can't i die like i want?

I look into the mirror and see a fat ass. I slightly lift up and rub the flat skin over my stomach but when I look at my sides i see the fat. It has to go and I know it will. My mom's always yelled at me not to eat because I'm too fat as it is so I obey and go to my room for the day after school.

My alcoholic father storms in as I sit at my desk typing away on my laptop and he smakes me in the back of the head causing me to fall to the floor. he kicks me in the stomach a few times until I beg for him to stop. Once i give in and beg he clenches his fists around my arm, forces me to my feet, and throws me on the bed leaving the room for the night. I hold back tears until the bruises are too much to handle.

I'm fat and ugly. No one should ever love someone as hidious as me. My parents don't so i don't expect anyone else to. Not here or at school. No where.


The sun shines through the window in my room. I try to sit up but my stomach begs for relief from the pain and lack of food. It's time for school. My first day since I was sent to the hospital for bleeding out and dehydration. My body is sore as I stand and slip on my hoodie, jeans, and shoes. I look over myself and frown in discust. After a few moments i go into the kitchen for my messangerbag and go outside without saying a word to anyone. With my headphones in i wait for the bus.

As I stand and wait I see a boy I've never seen before sitting on the bench in the grass. He looks like an upperclassman maybe eleventh grade. As i look up at him he glances at me, smiles and nods. I blush and look down at the ground in front of me. So stupid of me to be distracted for so long. When the bus finally pulls up I get on and sit in the back away from eveyone as normal. I see the boy get on and quickly look down at my ipod hoping he doesn't come this far back.

"Hey. Is this seat taken?" I hear is voice hoping he'll sit somewhere else and i wouldnt have to answer but he won't move.

"Umm no... y- you can sit... I'm alone." I glance up at him and back to my ipod quickly, "Sorry."

He slowly sits keeping his feet in the walk way of the bus, "Well... not anymore. now you have me for the week at least."

I look at his feet a moment ignoring his words knowing the bus driver would get mad soon enough, "You should sit like this." I show him proping my knees on the seet back in front of me, "It's not too bad and the busdriver won't get mad." as I look up at him he smiles and does the same, "Better... did you say the week?" I ask in a low voice.

"Yepp the week. My cars being repaired so I can't drive it until i get it from the machanics again... oh im Gerard by the way. Whats your name?"

The question surprised me for a moment not ever being asked it by another student before, "I... umm I'm Frank... Frank Iero. I don't drive yet. Just no time for the drivers test i guess."

"I could always take you if you'd like. I have time after work any day of the week." he offers still smiling at me.

I look at him hoping the shock I'm feeling is unnoticable to him, "I... I think I would like that... but I don't know about the day yet. I'll have to ask."

"That's fine with me. Just let me know tomorrow. I'll see you around Frankie." he smiles as we get off the bus and go our seprate ways into the school.

***

I go to the library to escape the lunchtime mess. My stomach still screaming at me but as I blast my music and draw in my notebook I begin not to notice until a bag of chex mix is sat in front of me.

"You really should listen to that stomach of yours Frankie." a voice says taking out my headphones.

I quickly look up to see Gerard, "Hey... sorry what are you doing here?" I ask pushing the bag aside and continuing to draw.

He places it back on my notebook and opens the bag causing the smell of cereal and chrisps to rise to my nose, "Feeding you apparently. Take a break and eat. Seems like you havn't in a while." he says pulling the extra fabric to my hoodie to the side, "You're hiding nothing."

Iblush and push his hand away, "I'm not hiding... I'm just cold." I pick up a few peices and slide them into my mouth, "See? I can eat... what about you?"

"I did." he retorts looking at me with suspicious eyes, "This was the3 left over from my lunch. why don't you finish it... or munch on it in your next class."

I nod as the bell rings for the last class of the day, "Of course... thank you Gerard. I'll see you tomorrow on the bus." part of me hoped to not see him for the rest of the day as I walked to class.

I look down the hall and slip into the bathroom and throw away the chex mix. I quickly run into a stall and stick my fingers down my throat to throw up. I can't gain any weight. that would be horrible. When it's out of my system I leave the bathroom and slip into my last class a bit late but the teacher likes me so its okay.

**

When the bell finally rings to end school I run to my locker and out the front doors to the safter of the bus. I always dred this ride home but after the odd day I've had I don't want to be near the school or that guy called Gerard.

As I flip through my ipod and find some black flag I feel someone sit next to me and i jump in surprise to see Gerard, "You... you scared the shit out of me Gerard! What are you doing here?"

"I said a week." he answers simply, "To and from school." he smiles and faces forward as i sink down into the seat, "You know i don't bite right?"

I nod and wait for the bus to stop and once it does I quickly run off and head for my house," By Frankie! He calls out as I enter my house."

Damn I don't understand why that guy scares me so much but he does and I have to stay away from him. all I can sence is trouble in that guy.

Ignoring any sighns of life I run to my room and stay in there for the night suceeding in falling asleep early in the evening. As long as chours are done and I'm asleep theres no fights at least for now.


please give me some R&R i really want to know what you think and if i should continue