Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Not So Adaptable
I wake up to my mom who is absolutely frantic, crying loudly as her phone lies on the floor. It terrifies Alex and me as we stand around her, trying to understand.
“You’re father,” she manages, breathing heavily and begins crying again. Our expressions drop, both of us pulling mom into our arms.
My dad is on his way here, driving our extra things that we couldn’t fit in the car. “Dad’s fine,” Alex says quickly and sharply. “Dad- he’s-“
“H-h-he’s DEAD,” Mom yells, making us jump.
Alex collapses. Him and my dad were the same, every minute they were together. He sobs harshly as he falls onto the ground, I never seen him like this. He never cries, and I’ve never seen a man cry like this.
I can barely see from the tears in my eyes, listening to Alex scream angrily.
“Alex—“ I whisper, reaching down for him, trying to grab his hand as mine are shaking, “Alex,” I try again, begging for his hand which is far away, him lying on our living room floor curled into a ball.
He won’t speak, just lies there and cries as his blond hair falls onto his face, covering his blue eyes.
I try to wipe away my tears, eventually giving up and letting them fall.
Never question about things not being able to get worse, because it has.
My dad missed out on a lot, some of our birthdays and holidays because of his work. But when he was home, he was our world. We centered the family off of him.
He’s gone.
I’ll never see my dad again.
--
The day goes by… barely. Mom has been in her room all day, hiding from us. She hates when we see her upset.
I didn’t know I could cry so much, but I eventually stopped and decided to get out of the house. So far being here has been hell, I want to go home… none of this would’ve happened if we still lived in Chicago.
I walk out with car keys in my hands, noticing Brendon running towards me. “Hey!”
I don’t say anything, just nodding as I get into the car. “Where are you going?”
I don’t speak as I sit motionlessly in the car.
“Uh,”
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I scream, slamming my arms on my wheel I start sobbing again.
He can’t leave me alone. I just… I need to get out of here.
“Woah, no.” Brendon says, climbing into the passenger seat. “Ally,” I keep my head on the wheel, my breath shaking, my whole body is shaking. “What happened.”
“What about ‘just leave me alone’ do you not fucking understand!” I yell.
“I- tell me what happened.”
“My dad is dead. He-“ I swallow as I cry more, “car.”
Brendon is quiet, placing a hand on my back and rubbing it. He makes circles with his hands trying to comfort me. Not doing the best job considering I’m a wreck.
“Leave,” I breathe out, Brendon’s arm falls as he climbs out of the car, me driving to the grocery store.
I go right into shopping for feel-better-food, getting my brother’s favorite foods. I don’t get myself anything.
I walk up to the cashier, him looking around my age, trying to smile but looking at me with concern. “Um, is this all for you today?” He asks as I nod quietly, pulling out my debit card as I pay for the things. “You’re face is wet,” He points quietly, looking at me with hazel eyes.
“That’s what happens when you cry.”
“Well,” He whispers. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I say, looking at his name tag that says “Ryan”.
“Buying shit from here, I’m supposed to say thank you.” Ryan shrugs, still looking at me as he turns off his lane and starts walking next to me.
“Oh.” A small grin forms on my face from his tone.
“Why are you crying?”
I swallow hard. I'm not crying... my face is just a little wet still. “I- sorry for asking.” He whispers.
“You’re fine. Um… just family stuff.”
“I know the type.” He shrugs looking down at his shoes as we walk.
“What?”
“Yeah, well.”
I don’t say anything as we walk.
“Want to talk?”
“We are.”
“You look like you could use company.”
I stay quiet as we sit at a bench.
“I’m Ryan.” He smiles, reaching out a hand.
I shake his, “Ally.”
“So Ally, you’re new.”
“How did you…?”
“I’m friends with Gabe.” I nod. “He said you’re really bubbly. Where’s that girl today?”
“Not here, that kind of happens when someone you loves dies; you kinda lose your bubbliness.” I explain, not understanding why I’m telling a stranger all of this.
“What- I’m so sorry.” He says whole-heartedly. “I- um... who?”
“My dad… this morning.” Tears begin to run down my face.
“You have every right to cry,” Ryan frowns, putting his hand over mine as I cover my eyes with my other. “I mean… it’s just me and my dad now.”
“What about your mom?”
“My mom… died. When I was seven.” His voice died out quickly right after he said ‘mom’.
Once I wipe away my tears, I decide to try to no longer cry in front of the poor guy.
“Oh.”
“Let’s change the subject. What’s the reasoning behind the flavor of ice cream? That’s probably melting.”
“My brother’s favorites.”
“Oh. I like vanilla the most.”
“Yeah.”
“I like making it into ‘soup’.”
I smile, because I do the same thing.
“I like doing that too.”
Ryan smiles, “So what grade will you be in next year?”
“Junior.”
“Senior.” His expression falls slightly. “We might have some classes together though. Do you know what you’re taking?”
“Not yet.”
“Hah, me either.”
“Extra English classes probably, I like to write.”
“You do? Me too!” He beams. “What do you like to write?”
“Anything. Opinions, fictional stories, around there. Just not… essays.”
“Oh, you’ll get plenty of those. Join newspaper, I’m doing it too. So is Bre—“ He stops himself.
We continue on our conversation on books and plays, laughing about the pathetic story of “Romeo and Juliet” Even though we both admitted to secretly liking the way it was written.
I look down at the ice cream that’s at my feet. “I guess we both better get going.”
He nods, walking me to my car as we exchange numbers. “Call me sometime, we could hang out.”
I smile and nod. He’s good to be around; he managed to distract me from thinking about this morning.
(RYAN’S POV)
“Shit, Ryan. You met her?” Brendon sighs against me.
“Yeah. We’re going to hang out one of these days.”
“She thinks you’re straight too?”
“I hope so… I kind of almost mentioned you.”
“Fuck.”
“If you keep swearing like this—“
“No! I’m sorry.” He holds me a bit closer.
“Bren?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t you feel bad... doing this to girls?” I ask him, my hands rubbing through his hair.
“I hate when people would slam me against lockers or push me around because they thought I was gay. So… “
“What are you doing with Ally then? You’re taking her out tomorrow!”
“I, uh,”
“You can’t do that to her, Bren, she just lost her dad. Her emotions don’t need any more fucking with.”
Brendon’s quiet.
Okay, with me and Brendon, things are… weird. We both play straight people; only three other people know we are bi. Our system is that we are together… but we are allowed to be with other girls so we maintain our social standards but we cannot fall in love with them. For me, girls still give me pleasure, but I couldn’t love one, and Brendon is the same, but he get’s with them more.
“I hate doing this. I hate this all. I’m so sorry.” Brendon says after a few minutes of silence. I thought he was falling asleep.
“What?”
“I’m done fucking with girls.”
“Literally or…”
“Both.”
“What,” I freeze.
“I just want you,” He buries his face into my chest, “and I made everything so fucking complicated just to make the guys at school stay away from me. I think I convinced them enough.”
I have so many unanswered questions about what he’ll do. I know he’ll figure it out eventually; just hopefully he won’t hurt her. Hopefully I won’t either.
--
I wake up next to Brendon, basically in the same positions as last night except I recall him pulling the covers over us.
“I don’t want to do anything today.”
“You’re taking Ally out.”
“I rather take you out.”
“After you go we’ll go to to dinner at taco bell or something, okay?”
“That would look suspicious wouldn’t it?”
“Only if we make it look suspicious.”
--
(BRENDON’S POV)
I bite my nails as I walk up to Ally’s house and knock on the door.
She comes up with a sad expression on her face, looking like she was in bed all day. Well, good thing we’re just going to the movies. If she falls asleep that’s fine.
“Hey,” I say calmly as she walks onto the porch.
“I—“ She starts, then stops herself letting out a quiet sigh.
“Let’s just… relax for this alright? You had a rough week.”
She nods as she climbs into my car.
“Can you drive?” She asks, looking at me curiously.
“Yeah, why do you think I have a car?”
“Can you drive well?” She jokes, although not finding herself funny and looking out the window, seeming to look up at her house.
“Well we’ll see.”
While I’m driving I try my best to not be a “fucking maniac” as Ryan calls me. He doesn’t like when I drive, and so far Ally doesn’t like it either with her arm on the grip that is on the ceiling.
We arrive at the theater, Ally not saying anything, just playing with her hands.
“Things… will get easier, you know.” I turn to her, biting my lip as I hope she’ll do something.
“Yeah.” She doesn’t want to move.
“Let’s go watch a movie, okay?”
“What else would we do here?”
“Well—“
“Shut up,” She gets out of the car as I follow her. She barely lets me pay for her ticket and I have to remind her I am the guy.
It takes a bit for us actually choose the movie however, I kept naming all the movies until I saw a hint on her face indicating she wants to go.
She doesn’t want anything to eat, but I get popcorn anyways.
“Why don’t you have some popcorn?” I say, offering her some.
“No, but thanks.”
“Okay.”
The movie starts as Ally sinks into her seat, looking like she’s not paying any attention. She’s listening though; laughing at the jokes and sexual innuendo that the movie offers. I do too, we are both pretty immature considering the people around us don’t really pick up on it.
She looks like she’s going to start to cry once a daughter and a father are reunited; I see her eyes showing a glassier look after the rest of it. I don’t say anything.
Well, I have to say something, “Hey,” I whisper as she turns her head away from me. “Ally,” I whisper again. “Do you want to leave?”
She nods and walks away from me quickly, going into the girl’s room. I stand outside, texting Ryan.
“I made a bit of a mistake in a choice of movie.”
“What movie?”
“The one comedy that turns into a drama and then the dad… you know where I’m going with this, right?”
“Way to fucking go. That’ll keep her away from you.”
“I don’t know if youre using sarcasm or not”
“I am. Luv u. See you later tonight.”
"Luv u too."
It makes me somewhat upset that we can't type out "love you". Just... not yet.
I close my phone and wait for her to come out, her wearing an innocent smile on her face.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Can you give me a ride home, please?”
“Sure,” I drive even more careful, Ally just looking out of the window.
I pull up to her house as she climbs out, I decide to follow her to her door.
“Ally?”
“Hm?”
“I… I’m sorry.” I try to sound sincere, because I am. I mean it.
“It’s alright.”
“Hug?”
She nods as I pull her in, squeezing her, trying to get all the sadness out until she goes, “Bren-don,”
“Sorry.” I leave it at that as she goes back into her house.
Well, fuck.
I actually never felt so clueless. I can’t be mean to her to keep her away from me.
It would be just pure luck if she doesn’t like me.
--
A/N So R/R again! I died at seeing all those reviews. It made me so happy!
Hope you guys like a plot twist and random events... we'll that's life for you. DON'T worry about your characters yet, they'll all be there next chapter.
YAY for Ryan coming along! I love writing him.
Looovee youuu.
“You’re father,” she manages, breathing heavily and begins crying again. Our expressions drop, both of us pulling mom into our arms.
My dad is on his way here, driving our extra things that we couldn’t fit in the car. “Dad’s fine,” Alex says quickly and sharply. “Dad- he’s-“
“H-h-he’s DEAD,” Mom yells, making us jump.
Alex collapses. Him and my dad were the same, every minute they were together. He sobs harshly as he falls onto the ground, I never seen him like this. He never cries, and I’ve never seen a man cry like this.
I can barely see from the tears in my eyes, listening to Alex scream angrily.
“Alex—“ I whisper, reaching down for him, trying to grab his hand as mine are shaking, “Alex,” I try again, begging for his hand which is far away, him lying on our living room floor curled into a ball.
He won’t speak, just lies there and cries as his blond hair falls onto his face, covering his blue eyes.
I try to wipe away my tears, eventually giving up and letting them fall.
Never question about things not being able to get worse, because it has.
My dad missed out on a lot, some of our birthdays and holidays because of his work. But when he was home, he was our world. We centered the family off of him.
He’s gone.
I’ll never see my dad again.
--
The day goes by… barely. Mom has been in her room all day, hiding from us. She hates when we see her upset.
I didn’t know I could cry so much, but I eventually stopped and decided to get out of the house. So far being here has been hell, I want to go home… none of this would’ve happened if we still lived in Chicago.
I walk out with car keys in my hands, noticing Brendon running towards me. “Hey!”
I don’t say anything, just nodding as I get into the car. “Where are you going?”
I don’t speak as I sit motionlessly in the car.
“Uh,”
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I scream, slamming my arms on my wheel I start sobbing again.
He can’t leave me alone. I just… I need to get out of here.
“Woah, no.” Brendon says, climbing into the passenger seat. “Ally,” I keep my head on the wheel, my breath shaking, my whole body is shaking. “What happened.”
“What about ‘just leave me alone’ do you not fucking understand!” I yell.
“I- tell me what happened.”
“My dad is dead. He-“ I swallow as I cry more, “car.”
Brendon is quiet, placing a hand on my back and rubbing it. He makes circles with his hands trying to comfort me. Not doing the best job considering I’m a wreck.
“Leave,” I breathe out, Brendon’s arm falls as he climbs out of the car, me driving to the grocery store.
I go right into shopping for feel-better-food, getting my brother’s favorite foods. I don’t get myself anything.
I walk up to the cashier, him looking around my age, trying to smile but looking at me with concern. “Um, is this all for you today?” He asks as I nod quietly, pulling out my debit card as I pay for the things. “You’re face is wet,” He points quietly, looking at me with hazel eyes.
“That’s what happens when you cry.”
“Well,” He whispers. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I say, looking at his name tag that says “Ryan”.
“Buying shit from here, I’m supposed to say thank you.” Ryan shrugs, still looking at me as he turns off his lane and starts walking next to me.
“Oh.” A small grin forms on my face from his tone.
“Why are you crying?”
I swallow hard. I'm not crying... my face is just a little wet still. “I- sorry for asking.” He whispers.
“You’re fine. Um… just family stuff.”
“I know the type.” He shrugs looking down at his shoes as we walk.
“What?”
“Yeah, well.”
I don’t say anything as we walk.
“Want to talk?”
“We are.”
“You look like you could use company.”
I stay quiet as we sit at a bench.
“I’m Ryan.” He smiles, reaching out a hand.
I shake his, “Ally.”
“So Ally, you’re new.”
“How did you…?”
“I’m friends with Gabe.” I nod. “He said you’re really bubbly. Where’s that girl today?”
“Not here, that kind of happens when someone you loves dies; you kinda lose your bubbliness.” I explain, not understanding why I’m telling a stranger all of this.
“What- I’m so sorry.” He says whole-heartedly. “I- um... who?”
“My dad… this morning.” Tears begin to run down my face.
“You have every right to cry,” Ryan frowns, putting his hand over mine as I cover my eyes with my other. “I mean… it’s just me and my dad now.”
“What about your mom?”
“My mom… died. When I was seven.” His voice died out quickly right after he said ‘mom’.
Once I wipe away my tears, I decide to try to no longer cry in front of the poor guy.
“Oh.”
“Let’s change the subject. What’s the reasoning behind the flavor of ice cream? That’s probably melting.”
“My brother’s favorites.”
“Oh. I like vanilla the most.”
“Yeah.”
“I like making it into ‘soup’.”
I smile, because I do the same thing.
“I like doing that too.”
Ryan smiles, “So what grade will you be in next year?”
“Junior.”
“Senior.” His expression falls slightly. “We might have some classes together though. Do you know what you’re taking?”
“Not yet.”
“Hah, me either.”
“Extra English classes probably, I like to write.”
“You do? Me too!” He beams. “What do you like to write?”
“Anything. Opinions, fictional stories, around there. Just not… essays.”
“Oh, you’ll get plenty of those. Join newspaper, I’m doing it too. So is Bre—“ He stops himself.
We continue on our conversation on books and plays, laughing about the pathetic story of “Romeo and Juliet” Even though we both admitted to secretly liking the way it was written.
I look down at the ice cream that’s at my feet. “I guess we both better get going.”
He nods, walking me to my car as we exchange numbers. “Call me sometime, we could hang out.”
I smile and nod. He’s good to be around; he managed to distract me from thinking about this morning.
(RYAN’S POV)
“Shit, Ryan. You met her?” Brendon sighs against me.
“Yeah. We’re going to hang out one of these days.”
“She thinks you’re straight too?”
“I hope so… I kind of almost mentioned you.”
“Fuck.”
“If you keep swearing like this—“
“No! I’m sorry.” He holds me a bit closer.
“Bren?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t you feel bad... doing this to girls?” I ask him, my hands rubbing through his hair.
“I hate when people would slam me against lockers or push me around because they thought I was gay. So… “
“What are you doing with Ally then? You’re taking her out tomorrow!”
“I, uh,”
“You can’t do that to her, Bren, she just lost her dad. Her emotions don’t need any more fucking with.”
Brendon’s quiet.
Okay, with me and Brendon, things are… weird. We both play straight people; only three other people know we are bi. Our system is that we are together… but we are allowed to be with other girls so we maintain our social standards but we cannot fall in love with them. For me, girls still give me pleasure, but I couldn’t love one, and Brendon is the same, but he get’s with them more.
“I hate doing this. I hate this all. I’m so sorry.” Brendon says after a few minutes of silence. I thought he was falling asleep.
“What?”
“I’m done fucking with girls.”
“Literally or…”
“Both.”
“What,” I freeze.
“I just want you,” He buries his face into my chest, “and I made everything so fucking complicated just to make the guys at school stay away from me. I think I convinced them enough.”
I have so many unanswered questions about what he’ll do. I know he’ll figure it out eventually; just hopefully he won’t hurt her. Hopefully I won’t either.
--
I wake up next to Brendon, basically in the same positions as last night except I recall him pulling the covers over us.
“I don’t want to do anything today.”
“You’re taking Ally out.”
“I rather take you out.”
“After you go we’ll go to to dinner at taco bell or something, okay?”
“That would look suspicious wouldn’t it?”
“Only if we make it look suspicious.”
--
(BRENDON’S POV)
I bite my nails as I walk up to Ally’s house and knock on the door.
She comes up with a sad expression on her face, looking like she was in bed all day. Well, good thing we’re just going to the movies. If she falls asleep that’s fine.
“Hey,” I say calmly as she walks onto the porch.
“I—“ She starts, then stops herself letting out a quiet sigh.
“Let’s just… relax for this alright? You had a rough week.”
She nods as she climbs into my car.
“Can you drive?” She asks, looking at me curiously.
“Yeah, why do you think I have a car?”
“Can you drive well?” She jokes, although not finding herself funny and looking out the window, seeming to look up at her house.
“Well we’ll see.”
While I’m driving I try my best to not be a “fucking maniac” as Ryan calls me. He doesn’t like when I drive, and so far Ally doesn’t like it either with her arm on the grip that is on the ceiling.
We arrive at the theater, Ally not saying anything, just playing with her hands.
“Things… will get easier, you know.” I turn to her, biting my lip as I hope she’ll do something.
“Yeah.” She doesn’t want to move.
“Let’s go watch a movie, okay?”
“What else would we do here?”
“Well—“
“Shut up,” She gets out of the car as I follow her. She barely lets me pay for her ticket and I have to remind her I am the guy.
It takes a bit for us actually choose the movie however, I kept naming all the movies until I saw a hint on her face indicating she wants to go.
She doesn’t want anything to eat, but I get popcorn anyways.
“Why don’t you have some popcorn?” I say, offering her some.
“No, but thanks.”
“Okay.”
The movie starts as Ally sinks into her seat, looking like she’s not paying any attention. She’s listening though; laughing at the jokes and sexual innuendo that the movie offers. I do too, we are both pretty immature considering the people around us don’t really pick up on it.
She looks like she’s going to start to cry once a daughter and a father are reunited; I see her eyes showing a glassier look after the rest of it. I don’t say anything.
Well, I have to say something, “Hey,” I whisper as she turns her head away from me. “Ally,” I whisper again. “Do you want to leave?”
She nods and walks away from me quickly, going into the girl’s room. I stand outside, texting Ryan.
“I made a bit of a mistake in a choice of movie.”
“What movie?”
“The one comedy that turns into a drama and then the dad… you know where I’m going with this, right?”
“Way to fucking go. That’ll keep her away from you.”
“I don’t know if youre using sarcasm or not”
“I am. Luv u. See you later tonight.”
"Luv u too."
It makes me somewhat upset that we can't type out "love you". Just... not yet.
I close my phone and wait for her to come out, her wearing an innocent smile on her face.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Can you give me a ride home, please?”
“Sure,” I drive even more careful, Ally just looking out of the window.
I pull up to her house as she climbs out, I decide to follow her to her door.
“Ally?”
“Hm?”
“I… I’m sorry.” I try to sound sincere, because I am. I mean it.
“It’s alright.”
“Hug?”
She nods as I pull her in, squeezing her, trying to get all the sadness out until she goes, “Bren-don,”
“Sorry.” I leave it at that as she goes back into her house.
Well, fuck.
I actually never felt so clueless. I can’t be mean to her to keep her away from me.
It would be just pure luck if she doesn’t like me.
--
A/N So R/R again! I died at seeing all those reviews. It made me so happy!
Hope you guys like a plot twist and random events... we'll that's life for you. DON'T worry about your characters yet, they'll all be there next chapter.
YAY for Ryan coming along! I love writing him.
Looovee youuu.
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