Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Lethal Force
Chapter 10
My mind was working a mile a minute. There wouldn’t be good news if he was dead, right? Unless this doctor was fucking psycho and his good news was that I could get money from finding him dead, which would be really fucking disgusting. I would smack him for that.
He smiled at me, “Well, he’s alive,” and I sunk down into my seat in relief. He was alive, he’d be okay. Everything was fine. And then I went stiff. There was bad news. I looked up at him as he smiled sadly, “However, the bad news… The knife was lodged into his spine. He is paralyzed. His entire body is paralyzed, except for his face. He can’t move any part of his body. We tried to get him to move, but he couldn’t. There is a chance that enough physical therapy could make his body work a little bit. But he’ll never be able to fully recover…”
I looked down at my hands and I wanted to cry. I wanted to run to him and hug him and tell him that I was sorry for getting mad, even though he did rape me. But that was okay. I could live with that. I’d take care of him for the rest of our lives.
Brendon’s POV
I woke up in a bed and I couldn’t move. I felt like I was in my body but trapped. I felt like I was stuck inside and I couldn’t get out. I started to panic. My eyes were open and I was trying to move, but I couldn’t. It was scaring me. I soon realized this wasn’t a dream. This was real. Tears started falling down my face.
The doctor came in and gasped, “Ah, you’re awake!” he smiled, “Glad to see that! We were worried there for a minute.”
“I can’t move…” I murmured, “I keep trying, but I can’t move. I can’t even move my fingers…” tears kept falling down my face, “Why can’t I move?”
“Well… Lieutenant, the knife was lodged into your spine. It limits any movement in your body, I guess. I did notice that, but I was hoping it wouldn’t paralyze you, even if I knew better. What can you move?” he asked.
I tried, again, to move every part of my body, the tears still falling down my cheeks, “I can only move my face… Even then, it hurts… Doctor, is there anything you can do? Maybe surgery or physical therapy? Anything?”
“Surgery won’t do anything… Physical therapy might do something…”
And then it hit me. Who saved me? It wasn’t Pretty Boy. That, I knew for sure. He probably was happy when I got stabbed. If I was in his situation, I knew I would be. It was probably one of the other privates… But I figured I’d ask, “Who saved me?”
“Hmm… I’m not sure of his name. But he’s got a rather feminine look to him. He’s got brown eyes. Well, they’re more of a caramel—”
“Wait, Private Ross?” I was surprised. He had saved me? But why? He must hate me, “Can I see him?”
“Sure,” he walked out and I took a deep breath. Why couldn’t I just die? I didn’t want to be paralyzed. I’d rather be dead, honestly. I wish I’d been left out there. This was so much worse. I’m sure some people would disagree, but this is how I think of it. If I can’t move a single body part, then why should I be alive? I can’t hold someone, I can’t have sex, I can’t do any job. All I can do for the rest of my life is sit there being useless. When the doctor came back, I’d ask him to euthanize me. Kill me. It would make everything easier.
After a few minutes, Pretty Boy ran in and he hugged me as tight as he could, which had actually become pretty tight. I gasped, “Ryan…” I whispered. I wish I could hug him back, I wish I could do something. Tears kept running down my face, “I’m sorry…” I whispered, “I never meant to hurt you… I just got so angry… And I… I know—”
“Shut up,” was all he responded, “I hated you, I wanted you dead, I couldn’t stand thinking about you… But th… I saw you get stabbed… And I didn’t want you dead. I didn’t want you to die. Because I love you,” tears fell down his face, “I hate you for what you did, but I love you too much… If you had done that and I didn’t love you, then I would have gladly watched you die… But I couldn’t. I really couldn’t…” he buried his face in my chest and I just stared at him.
“How on earth could you still love me after what I did? It was unforgivable… I’d hate me so fucking much if someone did that to me… How… I don’t get it…” I whispered.
He laughed a little through the tears, “I don’t get it either, Bren… But I can’t hate you even if I tried…”
There was a long pause before I realized something. I was done with the military. I couldn’t go back now. Not with the inability to move. I’d be forced home. Unlike with my leg, I couldn’t just get a replacement and go back. No, I’d be stuck an invalid for the rest of my life. I took a deep breath, “Ryan… I can’t go back to the military now… If I can’t move, I can’t…” tears kept falling, “I have to go home…”
“I’ll go with you,” he replied quickly, “I don’t want to be here if you’re not here. I’ll take care of you. I’ll find a job. And we’ll live happy together… And… And… I’ll take care of you… I promise…” tears fell down his face again, “I don’t care about the military without you here…”
“You… Ryan, but you hate me…”
“Not really… I don’t think I could hate you…” he whispered softly and climbed onto the bed to rest against me. I wish I could hold him. I wish I could rub his arms. I wish I could run my fingers through his hair. But I couldn’t. I really couldn’t.
A few weeks later, I had been discharged from the hospital, then discharged from the army. This was hell. I was on my way to Las Vegas, where I was from.
Ryan’s POV
Lieutenant Sexy had been discharged. And I had no idea how to get myself discharged. I didn’t want to just quit. I tried everything. Nothing was working. And then it clicked. There was one last thing I could do.
I went to the general. I went to General Smith in his office, “I’m gay!” I yelled, “I’m gay and I love men. I love penis!” which just garnered an amused look on the male’s face. I pouted, “Why are you smiling?”
He laughed, “I know you’ve been trying to get discharged so you can go back home with Lieutenant Urie. For the past few weeks, I’ve just been sitting here, amused by your attempts to get discharged. Also, you’d have to hurt yourself a lot worse than breaking your foot to get discharged, Ross. Okay, I’ll discharge you. But I’m not going to do it dishonorably because you barged in, telling me you liked penis. Excuse me, loved penis.”
My face turned bright red and I rubbed the back of my neck, “He can’t live by himself… He can’t move. He’d have to live with his parents and his parents wouldn’t take care of him! I have to take care of him!”
He smiled knowingly, “Ryan… I said I’ll discharge you. He just got sent home. I’ve been working on your discharge papers since he was discharged. I just didn’t tell you because I wanted to see how hard you’d try. Now, don’t tell anyone that I did this for you. Don’t tell anyone else that you’re gay because then they’ll ask why you weren’t dishonorably discharged.”
“Sir yes sir,” I smiled big and walked out. Before I knew it, I was on my way home to Las Vegas, where I knew Brendon was from. It was then that I realized that I had no idea where he was or where I could find him. So I went to the phone book to look up Urie. I found his parents’ address.
So I went to it. I rang the door bell and a girl of about 13 years opened the door. She looked me up and down before raising an eyebrow, “Let me guess. You’re here to see Brendon.”
“So he is here?”
“Of course he’s here,” she turned away from the door, “Brendon!”
“What?” I heard him yell from somewhere in the house.
“Some girly guy is here to see you!”
“Well come and get me because I can’t move, you ignorant bitch!” he yelled back.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. She groaned and looked at me, “I’ll be back,” she walked away and came back with Brendon in a wheel chair. He smiled at me.
“Hey,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss his lips, “How are you?” I asked quietly. He looked like shit and I wished I could just hold him and help him. But I knew I couldn’t do much. He told me he was okay. I smiled a little sadly, “I found us an apartment before I found your address. It’s pretty good. It’s not too expensive…”
Within a week, we were moving into the apartment. Well, more like he was sitting in the apartment while I was moving everything in. Once we had finished, I was making dinner for the two of us when he called me, “Ryan! Come here!”
I wiped my hands on a towel before I went over to him, “Yeah?” he pointed at the TV where the news was on. ’And with that, DADT has been repealed. Homosexuals are allowed to be in the military now without being discharged if they are found out…’ And it went on. I laughed a little and sat down on his lap, kissing his lips, “Well… I guess that’s that then…” I chuckled, resting my head on his shoulder. I felt a kiss to the top of my head and I smiled. Yay.
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A/N: So this is the final chapter. There will be an epilogue that I'll put up in a day or two, I promise. I've really loved writing this story and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I have. The epilogue will be in Brendon's POV. I'm not going to wait for three reviews. I'll just post it when it's ready. If, after the Epilogue, you guys want a sequel or something, let me know. Haha. :) Thanks so much for reading! The reviews meant a lot.
My mind was working a mile a minute. There wouldn’t be good news if he was dead, right? Unless this doctor was fucking psycho and his good news was that I could get money from finding him dead, which would be really fucking disgusting. I would smack him for that.
He smiled at me, “Well, he’s alive,” and I sunk down into my seat in relief. He was alive, he’d be okay. Everything was fine. And then I went stiff. There was bad news. I looked up at him as he smiled sadly, “However, the bad news… The knife was lodged into his spine. He is paralyzed. His entire body is paralyzed, except for his face. He can’t move any part of his body. We tried to get him to move, but he couldn’t. There is a chance that enough physical therapy could make his body work a little bit. But he’ll never be able to fully recover…”
I looked down at my hands and I wanted to cry. I wanted to run to him and hug him and tell him that I was sorry for getting mad, even though he did rape me. But that was okay. I could live with that. I’d take care of him for the rest of our lives.
Brendon’s POV
I woke up in a bed and I couldn’t move. I felt like I was in my body but trapped. I felt like I was stuck inside and I couldn’t get out. I started to panic. My eyes were open and I was trying to move, but I couldn’t. It was scaring me. I soon realized this wasn’t a dream. This was real. Tears started falling down my face.
The doctor came in and gasped, “Ah, you’re awake!” he smiled, “Glad to see that! We were worried there for a minute.”
“I can’t move…” I murmured, “I keep trying, but I can’t move. I can’t even move my fingers…” tears kept falling down my face, “Why can’t I move?”
“Well… Lieutenant, the knife was lodged into your spine. It limits any movement in your body, I guess. I did notice that, but I was hoping it wouldn’t paralyze you, even if I knew better. What can you move?” he asked.
I tried, again, to move every part of my body, the tears still falling down my cheeks, “I can only move my face… Even then, it hurts… Doctor, is there anything you can do? Maybe surgery or physical therapy? Anything?”
“Surgery won’t do anything… Physical therapy might do something…”
And then it hit me. Who saved me? It wasn’t Pretty Boy. That, I knew for sure. He probably was happy when I got stabbed. If I was in his situation, I knew I would be. It was probably one of the other privates… But I figured I’d ask, “Who saved me?”
“Hmm… I’m not sure of his name. But he’s got a rather feminine look to him. He’s got brown eyes. Well, they’re more of a caramel—”
“Wait, Private Ross?” I was surprised. He had saved me? But why? He must hate me, “Can I see him?”
“Sure,” he walked out and I took a deep breath. Why couldn’t I just die? I didn’t want to be paralyzed. I’d rather be dead, honestly. I wish I’d been left out there. This was so much worse. I’m sure some people would disagree, but this is how I think of it. If I can’t move a single body part, then why should I be alive? I can’t hold someone, I can’t have sex, I can’t do any job. All I can do for the rest of my life is sit there being useless. When the doctor came back, I’d ask him to euthanize me. Kill me. It would make everything easier.
After a few minutes, Pretty Boy ran in and he hugged me as tight as he could, which had actually become pretty tight. I gasped, “Ryan…” I whispered. I wish I could hug him back, I wish I could do something. Tears kept running down my face, “I’m sorry…” I whispered, “I never meant to hurt you… I just got so angry… And I… I know—”
“Shut up,” was all he responded, “I hated you, I wanted you dead, I couldn’t stand thinking about you… But th… I saw you get stabbed… And I didn’t want you dead. I didn’t want you to die. Because I love you,” tears fell down his face, “I hate you for what you did, but I love you too much… If you had done that and I didn’t love you, then I would have gladly watched you die… But I couldn’t. I really couldn’t…” he buried his face in my chest and I just stared at him.
“How on earth could you still love me after what I did? It was unforgivable… I’d hate me so fucking much if someone did that to me… How… I don’t get it…” I whispered.
He laughed a little through the tears, “I don’t get it either, Bren… But I can’t hate you even if I tried…”
There was a long pause before I realized something. I was done with the military. I couldn’t go back now. Not with the inability to move. I’d be forced home. Unlike with my leg, I couldn’t just get a replacement and go back. No, I’d be stuck an invalid for the rest of my life. I took a deep breath, “Ryan… I can’t go back to the military now… If I can’t move, I can’t…” tears kept falling, “I have to go home…”
“I’ll go with you,” he replied quickly, “I don’t want to be here if you’re not here. I’ll take care of you. I’ll find a job. And we’ll live happy together… And… And… I’ll take care of you… I promise…” tears fell down his face again, “I don’t care about the military without you here…”
“You… Ryan, but you hate me…”
“Not really… I don’t think I could hate you…” he whispered softly and climbed onto the bed to rest against me. I wish I could hold him. I wish I could rub his arms. I wish I could run my fingers through his hair. But I couldn’t. I really couldn’t.
A few weeks later, I had been discharged from the hospital, then discharged from the army. This was hell. I was on my way to Las Vegas, where I was from.
Ryan’s POV
Lieutenant Sexy had been discharged. And I had no idea how to get myself discharged. I didn’t want to just quit. I tried everything. Nothing was working. And then it clicked. There was one last thing I could do.
I went to the general. I went to General Smith in his office, “I’m gay!” I yelled, “I’m gay and I love men. I love penis!” which just garnered an amused look on the male’s face. I pouted, “Why are you smiling?”
He laughed, “I know you’ve been trying to get discharged so you can go back home with Lieutenant Urie. For the past few weeks, I’ve just been sitting here, amused by your attempts to get discharged. Also, you’d have to hurt yourself a lot worse than breaking your foot to get discharged, Ross. Okay, I’ll discharge you. But I’m not going to do it dishonorably because you barged in, telling me you liked penis. Excuse me, loved penis.”
My face turned bright red and I rubbed the back of my neck, “He can’t live by himself… He can’t move. He’d have to live with his parents and his parents wouldn’t take care of him! I have to take care of him!”
He smiled knowingly, “Ryan… I said I’ll discharge you. He just got sent home. I’ve been working on your discharge papers since he was discharged. I just didn’t tell you because I wanted to see how hard you’d try. Now, don’t tell anyone that I did this for you. Don’t tell anyone else that you’re gay because then they’ll ask why you weren’t dishonorably discharged.”
“Sir yes sir,” I smiled big and walked out. Before I knew it, I was on my way home to Las Vegas, where I knew Brendon was from. It was then that I realized that I had no idea where he was or where I could find him. So I went to the phone book to look up Urie. I found his parents’ address.
So I went to it. I rang the door bell and a girl of about 13 years opened the door. She looked me up and down before raising an eyebrow, “Let me guess. You’re here to see Brendon.”
“So he is here?”
“Of course he’s here,” she turned away from the door, “Brendon!”
“What?” I heard him yell from somewhere in the house.
“Some girly guy is here to see you!”
“Well come and get me because I can’t move, you ignorant bitch!” he yelled back.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. She groaned and looked at me, “I’ll be back,” she walked away and came back with Brendon in a wheel chair. He smiled at me.
“Hey,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss his lips, “How are you?” I asked quietly. He looked like shit and I wished I could just hold him and help him. But I knew I couldn’t do much. He told me he was okay. I smiled a little sadly, “I found us an apartment before I found your address. It’s pretty good. It’s not too expensive…”
Within a week, we were moving into the apartment. Well, more like he was sitting in the apartment while I was moving everything in. Once we had finished, I was making dinner for the two of us when he called me, “Ryan! Come here!”
I wiped my hands on a towel before I went over to him, “Yeah?” he pointed at the TV where the news was on. ’And with that, DADT has been repealed. Homosexuals are allowed to be in the military now without being discharged if they are found out…’ And it went on. I laughed a little and sat down on his lap, kissing his lips, “Well… I guess that’s that then…” I chuckled, resting my head on his shoulder. I felt a kiss to the top of my head and I smiled. Yay.
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A/N: So this is the final chapter. There will be an epilogue that I'll put up in a day or two, I promise. I've really loved writing this story and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I have. The epilogue will be in Brendon's POV. I'm not going to wait for three reviews. I'll just post it when it's ready. If, after the Epilogue, you guys want a sequel or something, let me know. Haha. :) Thanks so much for reading! The reviews meant a lot.
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