Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Gifts and Curses

3- Fear

by XxPerfectTomorrowxX 1 review

Ryan doesn't understand how realistic his fears are. He doesn't know that what he fears in the shadows, don't always stay in the shadows.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Fantasy,Romance - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2012-07-21 - Updated: 2012-07-22 - 1902 words

My eyes remained glued to Ryan as he sauntered in to the kitchen, a definite bounce now in his step. He even shook his hips a little. Oh my. It really was delicious to watch. “So… I must admit I-“ I could smell the blood rush forward to his face, and all I could do was be thankful that I had fed…from him. Damn it. I fed from him! And he didn’t stop me… He didn’t scream. He wasn’t running away. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing in a kitchen.” Ryan breathed out, turning to give me the sexiest, yet shy grin I’d ever seen.

I grinned at him in reply, feeling childishly giddy… I couldn’t even remember feeling so playful when I’d been alive. It was a different time then though. People were different. They were more wound up in some ways, less so in others. Things were just so different. There really was no other word for it. “I can cook up something, I’m sure.”

“The kitchen is all yours M’lady.”

I laughed lightly, walking around him to the fridge. “Any requests?”

“I will eat anything that you make for me.” I watched his ass as he walked past me and in to his living room. Soon enough he came back carrying one of his guitars. It was truly fascinating watching him on stage but this- this seemed more personal. As his fingers lightly, and expertly, strummed at the guitar strings I felt myself still, watching him, mesmerized.

“I seem to have stopped you in your tracks.” Ryan noted, eyes burning through my skin.

I shook my head quickly, “I like to watch you.”

“Sounds… kinky.” A huge grin broke out upon Ryan’s face and I was speechless. He… His grin. My god. He was fucking beautiful. “Kidding, kidding.” He held his hands up instantly, eyes widening. “I hope I didn’t offend you.”

A chuckle slipped past my lips, “I’m not offended Mr. Ross… just surprised.”

“Back to Mr. Ross are we? Oh, well it’s better than Sir, I suppose.”

“Ryan.” His name slipped from my mouth so easily, and I could say it a million times and never get sick of the sensation.

“Taylor.” Ryan nodded at me, before turning his attention back to his guitar. I looked in the fridge, not really seeing anything. Food? What would he like? I have no idea. He was playing… The tune was something I could dance to. It had a nice flow, and was soft, yet had power behind it.

Then his heavenly voice began to flow through my ears, causing me to lose track of what it was I was doing. I’d gotten what I wanted. Ryan had filled me with his very being just moments ago. Why did I still feel the strong urge to grab him and- and… No, I was not going to go there. It was just passion, and though passion was strong… It would fade.

”I smell like you, caught up in the scent of beauty.” Ryan’s voice was all I could focus on, though I tried desperately to put together a sandwich for him in hopes that he wouldn’t know his effect on me hadn’t been diminished by our sexual act.

”But dripping from you is something deadly…” I stilled, glancing across the kitchen counter, towards him. His eyes were trained on me. I quickly looked back to the bread, before nervously turning to the fridge for ingredients. ”…Something painful and I want to wash it away. Oh, can I wash it away?”

What was I putting on his sandwich? Oh, I had no idea anymore. It was an ‘anything goes’ kind of sandwich. All I could smell was his blood, and all I could feel was the passion flowing through my body. I wanted him. Oh, I still wanted him.

”With each kiss I’ll tear away the pain and build up something beautiful, something just like you.” Ryan paused, fingers expertly moving over the guitar strings. I closed my eyes, listening to the beautiful sound.

Wait, I was doing something… Sandwich, oh yes. A sandwich. Wait, did I put a carrot on it? Where did I even find that?

”Dazzled by the expression you wear so cleverly, I’ve fallen. I’m falling, fallen, and now I’m yours.” Ryan’s voice got stronger, ”Will you be mine, even if it’s just for the night?”

”Yes.” I wasn’t in control of my mouth, as the word ungracefully slipped out.

Ryan was around the kitchen counter in a matter of seconds, and my focus remained on him. His hands went to my face. He gently ran his fingers through my hair, pulling my face up so that I would look at him. “Really?”

“Yes.” I repeated the word, the temptation much too strong.

Slowly Ryan’s eyes went past me to the sandwich; his eyebrow rose as if in question. “Um… Is this some weird girl craving?”

I looked from him to the sandwich and was just as surprised. “I was … um, it’s for you.” I wasn’t going to eat it.

In between the two pieces of bread was lettuce, carrots, apple sauce, some type of meat, and peanut butter was spread… kind of…on the pieces of bread.

Surprisingly Ryan reached for the sandwich, lifting it to his lips. He didn’t even hesitate before taking a big bite, nodding in appreciation.

I couldn’t keep the amusement off of my face, “What do you think?”

“Well, I think I’m going to be the one making us breakfast tomorrow.” Ryan said, laughing at the faked offended look upon my face. “But my Momma told me to never criticize a girl I like, especially if she’s doing something for me.”

“Your mom is a very clever woman.” I nibbled upon my lip, watching him finish off the sandwich quickly. He was hungry, and now I was hungry too. Even watching him eat turned me on. Did he bathe in fucking pheromones?

“She… was.” Ryan’s eyes clouded over with grief and I frowned, knowing I’d touched upon a very sensitive subject.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, running my hand over his cheek gently.

Ryan shrugged, throwing on a sad smile. “We all die eventually.”

Oh, you have no idea…

I said nothing.

“Do you want something more comfortable to wear to bed?” Ryan asked, pulling his shirt off quickly.

“You’re assuming that I’m going to wear clothing to bed.” I replied, smirking at him.

He blushed.

His blush was undeniably sexy.

“My sincerest apologies, may I help you disrobe for bed then?” Ryan waited, biting back a smile as he remained polite.

“Oh, I don’t know…” I lightly ran my finger down the curve of my breasts, where my dress dipped seductively. “I could always go see if someone at the club would like to…”

Ryan’s mouth fell open.

He was fun to play with.

“Oh, fuck me already.”

His mouth opened a little wider, his eyes widening.

I didn’t have to tell him twice though.

I could get used to this.


(Ryan’s POV)

Ever since I was a kid I’ve always known my dad to be insane, to put it lightly. He spoke of monsters, stronger than the strongest of men. He said these creatures hid in the dark, because in the light we could see them for who they truly were and the beautiful light would turn them to dust, wiping them from the earth. It was our one protection, the only one that would always be guaranteed. ”Ryan, if ever you’re afraid… I want you to go in to the light. The light will keep you safe.” I could still remember the pain in his voice when he spoke those words, engraved in my mind. It was the day I found out my mother was dead- and according to my father the monster’s, otherwise known as vampires, had gotten her.

My father called himself a ‘vampire hunter’ and insisted that there were several, and they were all dedicated to ridding the world of the evil beings that did not belong in our world. He believed, truly believed, that they had come to hell, and needed to be sent back.

When I was a child I was very impressionable, and his constant ramblings caused my fear of the dark to grow wildly out of control to the point that even now… I had trouble when the room was pitch dark. I needed light. I needed it like I needed air.

As I grew older the fear became crippling. I felt so out of place. The dark was just one side of the coin, the other being light. I couldn’t be afraid for half of my life, when the coin was flipped. My mother taught me a trick, which stuck with me even now. The idea was to close your eyes while there was still light in the room, and picture being outside in unbearable heat. It was uncomfortable enough to stick, bathing me in imaginary light.

When that didn’t work… the nightmares plagued me, nightmares of creatures without faces… creatures that burst in to flame when the sun made contact… creatures that murdered without a care… and then my mother’s death. I could only imagine the worst.

“Ryan!” I heard my name being called, and my eyelids fluttered uncontrollably as the world came crashing around me, the light disappearing completely. “Ryan, wake up!”

“Tay?” I whispered, glancing around. It was too dark. Why was it so fucking dark? I felt the panic grip me, refusing to let go.

“I’m right here.” Taylor murmured, and I felt her soft, cold hands against my bare chest. “I’m right here Ryan. It’s okay.” I listened to her soothing voice and allowed the demons inside of me to fall back in to rest.

“It’s dark.” I whispered, closing my eyes. I didn’t want to see the dark, even though when I closed my eyes it pressed all around me.

“Do you want me to go turn on a light?” Taylor asked, shifting slightly.

Instinctively I grabbed out, holding on to her arm, “Please don’t leave me.” I choked out, horribly humiliated by my weakness. My fear.

“It’s okay Ryan.” Taylor assured me, “I’m staying right here.”

“Promise?” I mumbled, shifting so that I was laying my head in her lap, and I realized she was sitting up. She began stroking my hair with her fingers.

“Promise.” She replied in a serious tone, before an amused tone took over. “Tay?”

I blushed, cuddling closer to her body. Why was she so cold? Was the air conditioning on? “Yeah.” I mumbled, “Short for Taylor.” Well, no shit. I’m sure she already figured that one out.

“I’ve never been called that before.” Taylor admitted, sounding puzzled.

“I’m sorry.” Just don’t leave. Don’t leave me alone in the dark.

“I like it.” Taylor finally whispered, after a long pause. “Now, go back to bed. You sound exhausted.”

To the sound of her voice I quickly fell back to sleep, this time the nightmares hid from me.
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