Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > One Disaster At A Time, Please.
HELLO! Oh my god. How long has it been since ive updated??!!! Too long. Im so sorry for the long wait. Ive just had so much to do, so much shit to sort out and just had a major case of writers block! But here it is, and I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Again, sorry for the long wait!!! Please rate and review my little rays of sunshine ;)
"Gee, chill. Its not that big a deal" I responded sighing. Lie. It was a massive deal. It was a humongous deal. It was a callosol de- okay I think you get the idea.
Gerard however obviously didnt agree with me.
"You need to tell me everything; now." And I retold the tale of Brendons Uries wondering hands, his creepy comments and gyms encounter. We sat in silence for a few minutes afterwards.
"Wow." Gee finally said, letting out a shakey breath.
"Tell me about it" I mutterred, suddenly finding my bed sheets very interesting.
"Alice, I just want you to be careful around him okay? I dont trust him, and if something were to happen to you, I dont think I'd be able to forgive myself"
"Im always careful" I responded with a small smile, and at this he looked slightly calmer.
After a few more moments of silence I decided that I wasnt going to let Brendon get inside my head, and decided to change the topic.
"So hows things with Frank?"
Gerard seemed to of cottened on to my plan and his face light up at the mention of this Frank guy.
"Same old, same old. I admire his awesomeness whilst he remains completely un-aware of my existance."
"Why dont you talk to him? Ask him out?"
He let out a very loud, rather un-attractive snort.
"Please. Franks like one of the coolest people at school. Why would he want to talk to a social reject like me? And he has a girlfriend, so thats out of the question. And even if I could ask him out, what would I say?"
"First of all you are not a social reject. Secondly, he's probably just using this girl so that he can stay well hidden in his metorphorical closet."
"Fine, even if that was by some miracle true, what would I do? Should I ask him out?" He asked, tugging slightly on his jet black hair.
"NO!" I started "You dont want to freak him out, you've got to have a causual conversation first!"
Gerard let out a loud groan of frustration.
"Why do I get the feeling you dont do this very often?"
"Look I dont know. I just always say the wrong" He paused slightly "I just always say the wrong thing"
"OK. Alright, come on, get up. I wanna trying something where I'm gonna act like a boy and you're gonna talk to me, ok?" I started, standing up from my comfy postition on the bed.
"Ew. Do, do I have to?"
"Yes. Cause, "I'm Frank. Gerard, nice to meet you" Putting on my best male impression. Dayumm I was good.
"OK, that was creepy. You really just sounded like a guy just then." Gerard said laughing.
"I used to imitate my dad all the time. I got really good at it. Come on, get up. Ask me some questions and if the chemistry's right, things will just start flowin'." I responded, dragging him up.
"Questions about what?" He asked, suddenly seeming rather anxious.
"Anything. Ask me if I like" I paused for a moment, thinking "Cheese" I finsihed. What? It was the first thing that popped into my head.
Gerard started laughing "Um, ok. Do you... like... cheese?"
"Why yes I do. My favourite's gouda."
"I like gouda too?" He said, making it sound more like a question than an answer.
"See! We're flowing" I laughed.
"No. There are several words for what is happening right now, and 'flowing' isnt one of them" Gee laughed with me.
Son of a mother-fucking bitch. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I let a steady flow of obsanities fly from my mouth as I sprinted up the abandend steps. Apparently my man hands were more powerful than I had thought; my alarm clock didnt stand a chance. DAM YOU REBECCA BLACK. DAM YOU.
Oh did I happen to mention that I was callosolly late? No? Well yup. Hence the predicament Ive got myself into now. I burst through the doors and ran round the corner, praying to God, Buddah and Spongebob that I was going in the right direction.
But of course being me meant that nothing could go the way I wanted it too, and before I could register what was happening I had crashed into my first poor, inncocent, unsuspecting victim of the day. Flashes of blue and green were all I saw as I fell to the ground, taking the passer-by down with me. I looked up from my place on the floor and quickly began apologising, please for the love of the holy mother (What? Im feeling rather religious today. And what bro.) say that I havent just taken down Paris.... for the second time.
"Im so sorry. Im sorry. Im sooo sooo sorry!" I rushed out, gathering the books that had become another causualty to my clumsyiness. Relief flooded through me however when I noticed that it wasnt the spawn of Satan. She had long wavy hair that flowed down her back and I couldnt decide if she had black hair or was a brunette; I got the feeling that now wasnt the right time to ask her either.
"Watch where you're going bitch" She snapped angrily at me as I passed over her fallen books.
Oh dayumm.
Bitch say what.
"Would you like a tampon with that?" I responded, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Whatever" I heard her mutter, before walking off down the hallway. I could of sworn I saw a smile make its way across her face.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a pair of scissors lying on the floor.
"Hey... you....Sunshine? You left your scissors!!" I called, picking up the item in question. However she had already disappeared off into the distance; never to be seen again. Just kidding. Burt no seriously she was long gone.
Sighing I picked myself up off the ground and took a sneak peak at my watch. Letting out a groan of frustration, I slowed my pace - I was already 35 minutes late, another 5 wouldnt hurt.
"Why hello there Princess" Came the familiar sneer of, you guessed it, Brendon.
Who the fuck did I kill in the past life?!
"Brendon" I responded, not daring to look over to him.
"You're running a little late dont you think?" He asked, kicking himself away from the lockers he was leaning on.
"No shit Sherlock." I quickly responded, pulling open my locker and pulling out my books for the day, I was not in the mood for one of his mind games.
As I turned around, I bumped into a very hard chest. Stay strong Alice, he's a douche remember?... A douche with an amazing body.. dayumm what must it lo... SNAP OUT OF IT. DONT EVEN GO THERE.
"What do you want Brendon?" I asked, attempting to keep my voice from shaking.
"Oh I think you know what I want" He responded wih a cheeky wink.
"A interesting personality?"
"Ouch, that hurt. Lets try that one again now shall we?" He quickly qwipped back, his cool dememner never faltering.
At this I merelly rolled my eyes and pushed past him.
"Not a big talker huh?" He called, a smirk playing on his lips.
At this I turned back around, coming face to face with this fine lookin' pretentious asshole.
"Depends on the topic. My fenders dont really whip my into a verbal frenzy." I turned once more to leave and head to class, but his silky smooth voice stopped me dead in my tracks once more.
"You're not afraid of me, are you?" He asked with an amused smile.
Okay now im confused.
"Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?" I was as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.
"Well most people are" He shrugged.
"Well rest assured I'm not."
"Okay, so maybe you're not afraid of me, but I'm sure you've thought about me naked huh" He finished with a sleezy wink.
Shit. Can. Not. Let. Him. Know. He's. Right. Quickly composing myself, I tilted my head to the side. Perhaps I can double-bluff this cheeky bastard.
"Am I really that transparent?" I took a few steps closer to him, I could now feel his breath fan across my face. "I want you. I need you. Oh baby, oh baby." And with one last roll of the eyes, I walked away heading towards class leaving a gobsmacked hottie behind; attempting to tame my beating heart.
I thought I'd finally gotten away until he called out for the third time.
"You do realise you're going the wrong way right?" His trademark smirk finding its way back on his oh so perfect face.
COME ON. I swiftly took in my surroundings, I was sure that I was going the right way. Or was I supposed to go right instead of left?
"Come on, I'll show you the way" Brendon offered, gesturing to follow him.
Sighing, I accepted defeat and made my way back over to him. We continued on in silence for several minutes.
"So... I think we should go out sometime." Brendon stated simply.
Wait; WHAT?!
By this point we both stood motionless in the middle of the hallway.
"Well...?"
I turned my body to face him. Time to have some fun of my own.
"You're asking me out? Thats so cute! ....Whats your name again?" It took every bone in my body not to laugh out loud at the look of disbelief that crossed his beautiful face.
By this point we were outside our classroom, and without any more delay I entered the room, leaving a shocked Brendon behind.
The rest of the day went by in an un-eventful blur, mainly filled with heated discussions between Gerard and myself about how a Unicorn is way more kickass than a Dragon. We're pathetic; I know. It wasnt long before I was walking through my front door and following the smells of baking into the kitchen.
"Hello Alison! Make anybody cry today?" My Mom asked as she dashed about the kitchen, doing this, that and everything.
"Sadly no. Buts its only 4:30!" I responded, taking a seat at the Island counter.
"Anything interesting happen today?" My Dad asked from behind his newspaper - Jesus did this guy ever put that thing down?!
"Actually, I was asked out today"
At this piece of information, my Dad dropped his paper and my Mom stopped running about the kitchen.
"WHAT?" My Mom screeched, a look of what can only be described as pride plastered across her face.
My Dad was a different story however.
"Oh no. No, no, no ,no, no. I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My momma didn't raise no fool!" He ranted.
I sat stunned in my seat for several moments.
"Did you just say... dope?" I laughed. "God, I love you. Dont worry 'Bro', I turned his sorry ass down" I added with a wink.
"Good, Im not having any daughter of mine getting pregnant."
At this I merely rolled my eyes and went to head upstairs.
"Where are you going?!" My Dad called from his chair.
"Im off to hang with some bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm." And with that I disappeared into my room, laughing my ass off.
Oh my, what is my life?
And thats it for today folks! Again I really just want to apologise for my shitty updating skills. But I hope you've enjoyed this chapter!!! If you have any suggestions on how you see this story going, feel free to drop me a message or a comment with your ideas :)!! Rate and review me lovelies!!!
Lots of love, Phoebe xoxox
"Gee, chill. Its not that big a deal" I responded sighing. Lie. It was a massive deal. It was a humongous deal. It was a callosol de- okay I think you get the idea.
Gerard however obviously didnt agree with me.
"You need to tell me everything; now." And I retold the tale of Brendons Uries wondering hands, his creepy comments and gyms encounter. We sat in silence for a few minutes afterwards.
"Wow." Gee finally said, letting out a shakey breath.
"Tell me about it" I mutterred, suddenly finding my bed sheets very interesting.
"Alice, I just want you to be careful around him okay? I dont trust him, and if something were to happen to you, I dont think I'd be able to forgive myself"
"Im always careful" I responded with a small smile, and at this he looked slightly calmer.
After a few more moments of silence I decided that I wasnt going to let Brendon get inside my head, and decided to change the topic.
"So hows things with Frank?"
Gerard seemed to of cottened on to my plan and his face light up at the mention of this Frank guy.
"Same old, same old. I admire his awesomeness whilst he remains completely un-aware of my existance."
"Why dont you talk to him? Ask him out?"
He let out a very loud, rather un-attractive snort.
"Please. Franks like one of the coolest people at school. Why would he want to talk to a social reject like me? And he has a girlfriend, so thats out of the question. And even if I could ask him out, what would I say?"
"First of all you are not a social reject. Secondly, he's probably just using this girl so that he can stay well hidden in his metorphorical closet."
"Fine, even if that was by some miracle true, what would I do? Should I ask him out?" He asked, tugging slightly on his jet black hair.
"NO!" I started "You dont want to freak him out, you've got to have a causual conversation first!"
Gerard let out a loud groan of frustration.
"Why do I get the feeling you dont do this very often?"
"Look I dont know. I just always say the wrong" He paused slightly "I just always say the wrong thing"
"OK. Alright, come on, get up. I wanna trying something where I'm gonna act like a boy and you're gonna talk to me, ok?" I started, standing up from my comfy postition on the bed.
"Ew. Do, do I have to?"
"Yes. Cause, "I'm Frank. Gerard, nice to meet you" Putting on my best male impression. Dayumm I was good.
"OK, that was creepy. You really just sounded like a guy just then." Gerard said laughing.
"I used to imitate my dad all the time. I got really good at it. Come on, get up. Ask me some questions and if the chemistry's right, things will just start flowin'." I responded, dragging him up.
"Questions about what?" He asked, suddenly seeming rather anxious.
"Anything. Ask me if I like" I paused for a moment, thinking "Cheese" I finsihed. What? It was the first thing that popped into my head.
Gerard started laughing "Um, ok. Do you... like... cheese?"
"Why yes I do. My favourite's gouda."
"I like gouda too?" He said, making it sound more like a question than an answer.
"See! We're flowing" I laughed.
"No. There are several words for what is happening right now, and 'flowing' isnt one of them" Gee laughed with me.
Son of a mother-fucking bitch. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I let a steady flow of obsanities fly from my mouth as I sprinted up the abandend steps. Apparently my man hands were more powerful than I had thought; my alarm clock didnt stand a chance. DAM YOU REBECCA BLACK. DAM YOU.
Oh did I happen to mention that I was callosolly late? No? Well yup. Hence the predicament Ive got myself into now. I burst through the doors and ran round the corner, praying to God, Buddah and Spongebob that I was going in the right direction.
But of course being me meant that nothing could go the way I wanted it too, and before I could register what was happening I had crashed into my first poor, inncocent, unsuspecting victim of the day. Flashes of blue and green were all I saw as I fell to the ground, taking the passer-by down with me. I looked up from my place on the floor and quickly began apologising, please for the love of the holy mother (What? Im feeling rather religious today. And what bro.) say that I havent just taken down Paris.... for the second time.
"Im so sorry. Im sorry. Im sooo sooo sorry!" I rushed out, gathering the books that had become another causualty to my clumsyiness. Relief flooded through me however when I noticed that it wasnt the spawn of Satan. She had long wavy hair that flowed down her back and I couldnt decide if she had black hair or was a brunette; I got the feeling that now wasnt the right time to ask her either.
"Watch where you're going bitch" She snapped angrily at me as I passed over her fallen books.
Oh dayumm.
Bitch say what.
"Would you like a tampon with that?" I responded, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Whatever" I heard her mutter, before walking off down the hallway. I could of sworn I saw a smile make its way across her face.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a pair of scissors lying on the floor.
"Hey... you....Sunshine? You left your scissors!!" I called, picking up the item in question. However she had already disappeared off into the distance; never to be seen again. Just kidding. Burt no seriously she was long gone.
Sighing I picked myself up off the ground and took a sneak peak at my watch. Letting out a groan of frustration, I slowed my pace - I was already 35 minutes late, another 5 wouldnt hurt.
"Why hello there Princess" Came the familiar sneer of, you guessed it, Brendon.
Who the fuck did I kill in the past life?!
"Brendon" I responded, not daring to look over to him.
"You're running a little late dont you think?" He asked, kicking himself away from the lockers he was leaning on.
"No shit Sherlock." I quickly responded, pulling open my locker and pulling out my books for the day, I was not in the mood for one of his mind games.
As I turned around, I bumped into a very hard chest. Stay strong Alice, he's a douche remember?... A douche with an amazing body.. dayumm what must it lo... SNAP OUT OF IT. DONT EVEN GO THERE.
"What do you want Brendon?" I asked, attempting to keep my voice from shaking.
"Oh I think you know what I want" He responded wih a cheeky wink.
"A interesting personality?"
"Ouch, that hurt. Lets try that one again now shall we?" He quickly qwipped back, his cool dememner never faltering.
At this I merelly rolled my eyes and pushed past him.
"Not a big talker huh?" He called, a smirk playing on his lips.
At this I turned back around, coming face to face with this fine lookin' pretentious asshole.
"Depends on the topic. My fenders dont really whip my into a verbal frenzy." I turned once more to leave and head to class, but his silky smooth voice stopped me dead in my tracks once more.
"You're not afraid of me, are you?" He asked with an amused smile.
Okay now im confused.
"Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?" I was as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.
"Well most people are" He shrugged.
"Well rest assured I'm not."
"Okay, so maybe you're not afraid of me, but I'm sure you've thought about me naked huh" He finished with a sleezy wink.
Shit. Can. Not. Let. Him. Know. He's. Right. Quickly composing myself, I tilted my head to the side. Perhaps I can double-bluff this cheeky bastard.
"Am I really that transparent?" I took a few steps closer to him, I could now feel his breath fan across my face. "I want you. I need you. Oh baby, oh baby." And with one last roll of the eyes, I walked away heading towards class leaving a gobsmacked hottie behind; attempting to tame my beating heart.
I thought I'd finally gotten away until he called out for the third time.
"You do realise you're going the wrong way right?" His trademark smirk finding its way back on his oh so perfect face.
COME ON. I swiftly took in my surroundings, I was sure that I was going the right way. Or was I supposed to go right instead of left?
"Come on, I'll show you the way" Brendon offered, gesturing to follow him.
Sighing, I accepted defeat and made my way back over to him. We continued on in silence for several minutes.
"So... I think we should go out sometime." Brendon stated simply.
Wait; WHAT?!
By this point we both stood motionless in the middle of the hallway.
"Well...?"
I turned my body to face him. Time to have some fun of my own.
"You're asking me out? Thats so cute! ....Whats your name again?" It took every bone in my body not to laugh out loud at the look of disbelief that crossed his beautiful face.
By this point we were outside our classroom, and without any more delay I entered the room, leaving a shocked Brendon behind.
The rest of the day went by in an un-eventful blur, mainly filled with heated discussions between Gerard and myself about how a Unicorn is way more kickass than a Dragon. We're pathetic; I know. It wasnt long before I was walking through my front door and following the smells of baking into the kitchen.
"Hello Alison! Make anybody cry today?" My Mom asked as she dashed about the kitchen, doing this, that and everything.
"Sadly no. Buts its only 4:30!" I responded, taking a seat at the Island counter.
"Anything interesting happen today?" My Dad asked from behind his newspaper - Jesus did this guy ever put that thing down?!
"Actually, I was asked out today"
At this piece of information, my Dad dropped his paper and my Mom stopped running about the kitchen.
"WHAT?" My Mom screeched, a look of what can only be described as pride plastered across her face.
My Dad was a different story however.
"Oh no. No, no, no ,no, no. I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My momma didn't raise no fool!" He ranted.
I sat stunned in my seat for several moments.
"Did you just say... dope?" I laughed. "God, I love you. Dont worry 'Bro', I turned his sorry ass down" I added with a wink.
"Good, Im not having any daughter of mine getting pregnant."
At this I merely rolled my eyes and went to head upstairs.
"Where are you going?!" My Dad called from his chair.
"Im off to hang with some bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm." And with that I disappeared into my room, laughing my ass off.
Oh my, what is my life?
And thats it for today folks! Again I really just want to apologise for my shitty updating skills. But I hope you've enjoyed this chapter!!! If you have any suggestions on how you see this story going, feel free to drop me a message or a comment with your ideas :)!! Rate and review me lovelies!!!
Lots of love, Phoebe xoxox
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