Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Here Comes Trouble AKA: The Internet

This Is SO Mean

by Thunderstone 0 reviews

Well, they come across more of the Cliche.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Arthur Weasley, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Lucius, Molly Weasley, Snape, Voldemort - Warnings: [!] [?] - Published: 2006-07-10 - Updated: 2006-07-11 - 1336 words

1Funny
Chapter 2
This is SO Mean!

UH, correction. It doesn't show where I had it underlined. So between ___ is the fanfiction they are reading.


"Let's check this one out," Hermione said. She clicked on Betrayal of A Friend.

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As Harry was lying in his cell in Azkaban, he kept thinking about the betrayal of his so called friends. The Weasleys, Remus, Sirius, Dumbledore, everyone who were supposed to be my friends, why did they betray me? They didn't even listen to my side of the story.

Flashback: "Harry James Potter, how could you betray me? Betray everyone who cared so much for you! Is power really worth killing so many?" cried Remus.

"Remus, everyone I-I didn't do it! I was framed! Won't you at least listen to-"

"Why would we listen to you, you bloody traitor!" Ron bellowed in Harry's face.
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"What the h#@# is this story? This is insulting," Ron blurted out.

"Ronald Weasley, watch your mouth!" snapped Mrs. Weasley giving him one of her death glares. You know the one mothers give their children to scare the crap out of them. Any kid with commonsense knows not to curse - well, at least within earshot of their parents. If your underage you have to live with them, so it's not a good idea to tick them off. After all, they can make your life really suck if they wanted to.
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"Harry, I can't believe I loved you, you murderer!" Ginny shouted. She slapped him in the face, as the twins held Harry's arms back as Ron and Hermione burned everything he cared about his invisibility cloak, his photo album, firebolt, he even had to watch in horror as they tortured his beloved owl to death.
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Harry, the Weasley children, and Hermione gaped at the screen. Harry winced they got to the part where they destroyed his stuff and owl.
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With each thing they destroyed, he felt a piece of himself perish. Why? Why won't they believe me? Isn't someone there who will at least listen to my side of the story? Do the seriously think I could do such a thing? Not only do they think I murdered all those muggles but my family too. Sure we may not be close, but they are still my relatives whether I like it or not.

At the trial watched in horror as his friends testified against him. Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, and even his girlfriend, Ginny. Everyone else glared at him. If looks could kill he'd be dead. "I SHOULD'VE NEVER LET MY CHILDREN NEAR YOU, HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Mrs. Weasley shouted, glaring daggers at him.
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Silence filled the room after what they just read. Ginny gulped, "Harry, just so you know, I'd never betray you."

"Yeah, we'd never betray you, Harry, your like a brother to me," Ron said. That comment became awkward after they read the next part. Harry was still too speechless to say anything.
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End flashback: They promised to follow me to heck and back, to always be by my side. Ron said I was like a brother to him-
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"Oookay, that was a bit . . . Awkward," Ginny said. Ron just banged his head against the desk. They continued reading it.

The story went along the lines of Harry whining about how his 'friends' betrayed him. Suddenly he got all-powerful and broke out of jail to get his revenge on Lord Voldemort and his former friends (or at least send his 'friends' on a vicious guilt trip and that's putting it lightly). Right outside the jail he found Voldy and the Death Eaters kicking the Orders' butt big time. Lord Voldemort confessed to how he framed Harry, mixed emotion filled the field - well, on the Order members side - a few were denying it cough Ron cough and some were all boohoo, and stuff. Harry turned down Voldy's request, and summoned some strange, freaky power that totally overpowered him. In other words, Voldy went bye, bye. Tension filled the field, but the Order members managed capture the Death Eaters, while Harry's former friends, and family ran towards him going all, "Harry, Harry we are so sorry for sending you to hell-on-earth, we didn't mean too." Yeah right, like begging would do any good anyways. How would you feel if you were sent to that hellhole they call, Azkaban having to relive your worst nightmares thanks to the dementors? Wouldn't you be furious, too? (A/N yes that's an understatement - in Harry's case anyways.)

By now they were on chapter three, they kept reassuring Harry that they would never betray him and stuff. Harry kept thinking to himself 'none of this stuff is real; they would never betray me, would they? What am I thinking after all, they did pare Lucius MALFOY up with Mr. Weasley for crying out loud! That would be like Voldemort saying he has seen the error of his ways, and opened up an orphanage, while skipping merrily in a dress a cross a field of flowers.' Harry snickered at the thought. "What's so funny, Harry?" Ron asked.

"Oh nothing just had a funny thought," Harry said with amusement dancing in his eyes.

They continued reading; He was declared innocent Dumbledore passed a series of new laws forcing Harry to go back to Hogwarts until he finishes school, alienating Harry even more. He returned to Hogwarts, after a couple more chapters of everyone bashing - Harry's former friends, the ministry, the press, and so on. Something drastic happens that makes Harry forgive his friends in the end although he'll never forget what happened.

"Arthur, I think we read enough," Mrs. Weasley said. "Hermione, could we borrow your laptop for a while?" Hermione nodded and absentmindedly logged offline still in a daze by what she had just read. She closed the screen and handed her laptop over. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley walked away. Somehow the Weasley siblings, Harry, and Hermione had a feeling they knew what the next topic would be at the Order of the Phoenix meeting. Knowing Mrs. Weasley's temper, Hermione hoped she would get her laptop back in one piece. Hermione had a feeling that those two stories were only the tip of the iceberg of what is on that Website.

Back at Bobby's house, Severus Snape, Crabbe (SR), Goyle (SR) had just apparated in. Snape being as blunt as he is just got right to the point, "Alright what is this about Lucius?"

"There are some very disturbing stories about is on this, this thing," he pointed to the computer looking at it like it was a despicable piece of garbage.

"Uh, you are aware that thing is, um uh muggle rubbish don't you?" Crabbe said.

"So you are saying, " Snape pushed Crabbe out of the way to get a better view, "that this thing has stories about us on it?" Snape said ignoring Crabbe.

"Just look for yourself," Malfoy said. He took a seat and clicked on Love is but a Kiss Away. They gathered around the computer and started reading:
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Harry walked down the hallway, his heart aching for the one he truly loved. Then he met her, Mary-Sue. He first met her on the Hogwarts express, and it was love at first sight. He was going into his sixth year, and she her fifth.
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"Mary-Who?" Snape asked just barely covering up his confusion. "There is no Mary-Sue at Hogwarts."

"Yeah, yeah whatever, we can capture this Mary-Sue person and hold her hostage to lure Potter into a trap," Lord Voldemort said as he unexpectedly appeared beside Snape. He had an evil smile on his face that made his red eyes look creepier then usual.

"My Lord, where did you come from?" Malfoy asked.

"Snape, you are to find Mary-Sue immediately!"

"But, My Lord, there is no Mary-Sue at Hogwarts."

"You dare question me! Crucio!" Snape started screaming in agony. "Now lets try this again! Find me Mary-Sue!"

"Y-yes M-my Lord," said Snape. He kissed the hem of Voldemort's robe before he began his wild goose chase to find Mary-Sue.
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