Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Just stop, please, don't ever stop.
Chapter Three: I just wanna sleep dude
2 reviewsShocking things happen... Not really. R for swearing.
5Original
AN: We're time skipping.
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I groaned, frustrated. I can't sleep and my life is a perfect mess. Dreams or total nothingness are the only places things can truly be good. But sleep won't take me. I stared at the ceiling wishing for something, anything to give me some kind of sign. Am I doing right by Gerard? Do I love Frank or just sex with Frank?
I'm a terrible person. I looked at the blue illuminated clock on my bedside table. 4:47 AM Great. Not a wink of sleep and I have errands to run all day tomorrow. I never have to run errands. I'm 18 but OF COURSE I have stuff to do the one night I can't sleep. I shifted, laying on my side, staring into my closet. "Oh I give up." I muttered to myself, getting up. The room spun and my stomach tightened. I sat up to fast, damn it, gets me every time. I swung my legs over my bed, not really sure of what I'm doing.
There were soft taps at my door. "Come in." I said without thinking. Wild ebony locks poked through my door. "Hey Mikes." My brother fully entered my room in his skeleton onesie. "Hi." I yawned out. Gerard shuffled over somewhat nervously and sat on the edge of my bed. "I feel so guilty about the Bert thing. I don't wanna lose Frank, I can't." Gerard sniffled. "After all we went through to be together... I can't ruin it, because of this. I-I don't know what to do." He sniffled again. He better not get snot on my bed. That's nasty yo. He sniffled once again. Maybe I should be counting these. "I love him so so much. You just don't understand." Four. "Maybe one day.." Five. "When you have a girlfriend," Six "You'll understand." Seven I'll give you something to understand punk. IT'S FIVE AM I WANNA SLEEP! Ooh, someone's in a bad mood. IT'S FIVE AM! Okay. I can not do this anymore. So stop weeping like a baby. You're a grown man and I can't take it! "IHAVEAGIRLFRIEND!" Gerard turned around looking at me. "What?" His face puzzled. "I have a. I have a girlfriend." I played with my fingers. My nails so dirty. I should get a manicure. "Why is this the first time I'm hearing of this?.. I mean, I'm happy for you Micheal. But why didn't you tell me?" Gerard grabbed my hand. Act of encouragement? Comfort? Both? "Please just, don't tell Frank. Please." Gerard looked taken back and confused but didn't question it. "I understand, you want to tell your best friend yourself. What's her name?" He smiled, like a proud older brother. I wish I could give him something to really be proud of. I'm just a terrible awful person. I'm just a slut. "Alicia. Her names Alicia. Can you, please, just go.." Gee shrugged clearly not understanding, unable to string the pieces of my whore life together.
Alicia.
-2 Weeks Later-
"Mikey. Get the door!" My mom yelled up the stairs. Gerard is ALWAYS home, the one day he leaves people visit. The one day people visit, mom cooks -she NEVER cooks-. So now who has to get off their ass and get the door? Me. OH THANK GOD! This is the first exciting thing to happen in this house for weeks. I wonder whose at the door. Maybe I got a gift. I ran down the stairs, almost unable to stop but I managed not to completely ram into the door completely. This. Is. Awesome. I was practically jumping while unlocking the door. This is what my life has come to. I guess I've just been really bored lately. Frank is ignoring me. Alicia is away on vacation. I have no life.
I swung the door open. My smile got wider if that was even possible. I was greeted by those beautiful eyes with the unknown color (Hazel brown? Brown? Green? Hazel Green? Gold?). My short little love with the gorgeous brown locks. "Frankie!" His expression was angry. "You little... TWAT!" The fuucck I do? "I hate you! I fucking hate you!" Frank crumpled to the ground in tears. I walked onto the porch closing the front door behind me.
I crouched down, attempting to hold him. He kept shrugging me off. I used all my strength to hold him. After a bit he gave up struggling. "Who the FUCK is Alicia?" He said angrily, but his voice cracked at the end,unable to mask his sadness. "Baby. She's just a cover." He sobbed. "Cover my ass." I couldn't stand seeing my baby so broken. I love Frank, I honestly really do. I've never regretted something so bad. "Was she before or after I started ignoring you to get you to make up your mind?" Frank looked at me. The sadness in his eyes KILLED every bit of me. "Before." I sighed. "I hate you. So much." I understand. I hate me too. I nodded. "I wish I didn't love you. I really really do." Frank cried against my chest. "Wanna go inside?" I asked. My fingers playing with his hair. "I'm gonna go home. I have this overwhelming urge to punch you in the face or kick you in the balls." He laughed slightly. "I love you too much to ruin your balls or face." He smiled slightly. I let go of him but not before giving him a quick kiss and he stood up. "I'm breaking up with her." He smiled. "Don't. She's just a cover. Your sex toy whenever I'm with your brother. Maybe we could go on a double date." He said it seriously but I know he meant none of it.
Frank likes to think he's tough and he is. But I know him and he's sensitive too. He has that want to be loved and needed. He got in his car and sat there. He's probably crying. But doesn't want anyone to see. I walked back in the house. Leaning on the front door. I slid down, head in hands. "Dinners ready!" Ugh.
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AN: Two chapters in one day. BAM! This chapter is sort of all over the place and skipping some details. But I have a reason for that. Trust me people. I know some of this must be hard to take in. It's all very sudden. Yes, he was with Alicia the WHOLE time. 'Why didn't I note that before?' you may be asking. I honestly just didn't feel like it.
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I groaned, frustrated. I can't sleep and my life is a perfect mess. Dreams or total nothingness are the only places things can truly be good. But sleep won't take me. I stared at the ceiling wishing for something, anything to give me some kind of sign. Am I doing right by Gerard? Do I love Frank or just sex with Frank?
I'm a terrible person. I looked at the blue illuminated clock on my bedside table. 4:47 AM Great. Not a wink of sleep and I have errands to run all day tomorrow. I never have to run errands. I'm 18 but OF COURSE I have stuff to do the one night I can't sleep. I shifted, laying on my side, staring into my closet. "Oh I give up." I muttered to myself, getting up. The room spun and my stomach tightened. I sat up to fast, damn it, gets me every time. I swung my legs over my bed, not really sure of what I'm doing.
There were soft taps at my door. "Come in." I said without thinking. Wild ebony locks poked through my door. "Hey Mikes." My brother fully entered my room in his skeleton onesie. "Hi." I yawned out. Gerard shuffled over somewhat nervously and sat on the edge of my bed. "I feel so guilty about the Bert thing. I don't wanna lose Frank, I can't." Gerard sniffled. "After all we went through to be together... I can't ruin it, because of this. I-I don't know what to do." He sniffled again. He better not get snot on my bed. That's nasty yo. He sniffled once again. Maybe I should be counting these. "I love him so so much. You just don't understand." Four. "Maybe one day.." Five. "When you have a girlfriend," Six "You'll understand." Seven I'll give you something to understand punk. IT'S FIVE AM I WANNA SLEEP! Ooh, someone's in a bad mood. IT'S FIVE AM! Okay. I can not do this anymore. So stop weeping like a baby. You're a grown man and I can't take it! "IHAVEAGIRLFRIEND!" Gerard turned around looking at me. "What?" His face puzzled. "I have a. I have a girlfriend." I played with my fingers. My nails so dirty. I should get a manicure. "Why is this the first time I'm hearing of this?.. I mean, I'm happy for you Micheal. But why didn't you tell me?" Gerard grabbed my hand. Act of encouragement? Comfort? Both? "Please just, don't tell Frank. Please." Gerard looked taken back and confused but didn't question it. "I understand, you want to tell your best friend yourself. What's her name?" He smiled, like a proud older brother. I wish I could give him something to really be proud of. I'm just a terrible awful person. I'm just a slut. "Alicia. Her names Alicia. Can you, please, just go.." Gee shrugged clearly not understanding, unable to string the pieces of my whore life together.
Alicia.
-2 Weeks Later-
"Mikey. Get the door!" My mom yelled up the stairs. Gerard is ALWAYS home, the one day he leaves people visit. The one day people visit, mom cooks -she NEVER cooks-. So now who has to get off their ass and get the door? Me. OH THANK GOD! This is the first exciting thing to happen in this house for weeks. I wonder whose at the door. Maybe I got a gift. I ran down the stairs, almost unable to stop but I managed not to completely ram into the door completely. This. Is. Awesome. I was practically jumping while unlocking the door. This is what my life has come to. I guess I've just been really bored lately. Frank is ignoring me. Alicia is away on vacation. I have no life.
I swung the door open. My smile got wider if that was even possible. I was greeted by those beautiful eyes with the unknown color (Hazel brown? Brown? Green? Hazel Green? Gold?). My short little love with the gorgeous brown locks. "Frankie!" His expression was angry. "You little... TWAT!" The fuucck I do? "I hate you! I fucking hate you!" Frank crumpled to the ground in tears. I walked onto the porch closing the front door behind me.
I crouched down, attempting to hold him. He kept shrugging me off. I used all my strength to hold him. After a bit he gave up struggling. "Who the FUCK is Alicia?" He said angrily, but his voice cracked at the end,unable to mask his sadness. "Baby. She's just a cover." He sobbed. "Cover my ass." I couldn't stand seeing my baby so broken. I love Frank, I honestly really do. I've never regretted something so bad. "Was she before or after I started ignoring you to get you to make up your mind?" Frank looked at me. The sadness in his eyes KILLED every bit of me. "Before." I sighed. "I hate you. So much." I understand. I hate me too. I nodded. "I wish I didn't love you. I really really do." Frank cried against my chest. "Wanna go inside?" I asked. My fingers playing with his hair. "I'm gonna go home. I have this overwhelming urge to punch you in the face or kick you in the balls." He laughed slightly. "I love you too much to ruin your balls or face." He smiled slightly. I let go of him but not before giving him a quick kiss and he stood up. "I'm breaking up with her." He smiled. "Don't. She's just a cover. Your sex toy whenever I'm with your brother. Maybe we could go on a double date." He said it seriously but I know he meant none of it.
Frank likes to think he's tough and he is. But I know him and he's sensitive too. He has that want to be loved and needed. He got in his car and sat there. He's probably crying. But doesn't want anyone to see. I walked back in the house. Leaning on the front door. I slid down, head in hands. "Dinners ready!" Ugh.
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AN: Two chapters in one day. BAM! This chapter is sort of all over the place and skipping some details. But I have a reason for that. Trust me people. I know some of this must be hard to take in. It's all very sudden. Yes, he was with Alicia the WHOLE time. 'Why didn't I note that before?' you may be asking. I honestly just didn't feel like it.
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