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Chapter 29: My chaperoned romance

“No,” was his first word. Gerard refused to look at her, but the expression on his face was stern, and he was confident he would not budge in this matter.

Gia groaned, letting her head fall and her forehead collide with the top of the table. What was she thinking, asking him for permission? She knew he’d say no! She should’ve just slipped out of the house with the cover of a convenient lie, but no. “Dad, please,” she begged.

Gerard took his time before answering. He made a few more lines of black ink on the drawing he was working on, and then turned to face his daughter. He had been quite shocked when she came to visit him in the studio room he had turned into his art haven in the pool house. She hardly entered the room, mainly because she couldn’t stand the clutter that he simply called an organized chaos. Yeah, right. Gia didn’t believe for a moment that he could find anything in that mess.

“Why?” he asked. “Why do you keep insisting on being involved with that boy? Sometimes I think you do these things just to punish me.”

“You are so self-centered. This has nothing to do with you! If I want to go out with Lucas, then I will! And there’s nothing you can do about it!”

“Yes there is! I told you already that you can’t go! And that’s final!”

“Dad, you know I’m going to find a way to go regardless of anything you say or do.”

Gerard’s mouth was a straight line, and his jaw clenched as his thoughts ran a thousand miles per second. “Just one date?”

Gia shrugged. “I don’t know. Hopefully not.” Sure, she was excited about going out with Lucas again, but then again... What if it didn’t work out? What if they had both just changed too much for it to work? When they had first met, she had been such a lonely child that she would’ve welcomed anyone who showed any interest in being her friend. Sure, she had grown very fond of him, and yes, when she moved to Connecticut, she had told him she loved him. But had she?

Gerard tossed the pen onto the desk and sighed. He didn’t like this. He hated Lucas, that was never going to change, but still, he’s been working so hard on trying to mend things between himself and his daughter, and just for that reason he locked his hate for the boy for a few months and replied: “When?”

Gia’s face brightened up and she smiled. “The day after tomorrow.”

“Where will you be going?”

“Just to the movies. And there’s this pizza place... He’s picking me up at seven”

“He drives? Has he ever been in a car accident? Has he ever driven over a small child or an elderly woman? No, don’t look at me like that, I’m going to need to see his criminal record.”

“Dad, he’s a perfectly fine driver!” Sure, she had never seen him drive a car, but she was pretty confident he wasn’t going to drive off a cliff and kill her.

“You’ll have to be home by nine,” he said sternly, ignoring her argument.

“Nine?!”

“Yes, nine! And be lucky I’m being that lenient! And I’m sending Frank to chaperone!”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Oh, you have no idea what I’m capable of,” he announced, thrusting his chin proudly into the air.

Gia stopped herself from telling him off, and instead ran out of the room, shouting for Lindsey to help as she went.

_________________

“NO!” Gerard shouted when he saw her come down the stairs, making Gia wonder if saying no was just an instinct whenever he saw her.

It was two days later, and the clock was nearing seven. Lucas would be there to pick her up any minute, and to her surprise, she was ready before he arrived. Of course, being early was completely unnecessary, because Gerard was sure to put his two cents in concerning her appearance.

“What now?!” Gia asked, frustrated. She stood in the middle of the stairs, finding that the bottom of the staircase was blocked by her angry father.

“You look like a slut!”

“Thanks dad,” she said, nodding. “Really appreciate the compliment.”

“You are NOT wearing that!”

“Stop mocking my clothes!”

Gerard glanced at the denim skirt and the top that she was wearing. “First of all, you’re wearing nothing but a belt and scrap of fabric as a shirt. Second of all, you’re wearing far too much makeup. Wash it off.”

“Well at least I’m not wearing, like, a thong underneath.”

Gerard nearly choked on air and announced. “Okay, no more talk about... that.”

“What? Thongs? Thong! Thong, thong, thong!” She shouted the word, just to piss him off, as she stomped back upstairs to her room. And she disappeared just in time, because only a short moment later there was a knock on the door.

The door practically flew open as Gerard hurried to welcome the scared boy into the house that very much had the atmosphere of a slaughterhouse.

Gerard dragged Lucas into the house, hurried him to the living room, and slammed shut the door that connected it to the entrance hall. “Sit,” he commanded, and Lucas had no other options than to comply and sit down on the couch.

Lucas knew this would happen. Knowing Gia’s father, how could it not? He had totally seen this coming. In Lucas’ personal opinion, Gerard may have actually been a tiny bit crazy.

Gerard knew he didn’t have much time before Gia would come knocking on the door and demanding that he release her boyfriend immediately, so he decided to cut right to the chase.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?!” Gerard demanded at the boy, standing in a position that Lucas knew was supposed to be intimidating with the crossed arms and the extremely straight posture. Lucas wondered if they had gotten the man tested for mental illnesses yet.

“Oh, well,” Lucas started, not feeling very frightened. “I’m trying to molest and then murder her brutally. But don’t worry,” he continued when Gerard’s eyes widened, “you’ll get her head in the mail in a few days, and the rest of the pieces of her body will be packed conveniently in tiny matchboxes.” Fight insanity with insanity, right?

“What?!” Gerard screamed, his eyes bulging out of his head, making him look as crazy as he sounded. There was no way he would’ve taken the boy seriously under normal circumstances, but right now, sleep deprived and high on caffeine, he would’ve believed Lucas if he claimed he was the prince of Narnia.

“Mr. Way, it’s a date! I’m sure you’ve been on a few.”

Gerard carried on glaring at the boy. “No! You ruined your chances, Budd-”

Noticing Gia open the door and then rush towards the front door (in her original outfit, by the way), Lucas didn’t bother to listen anymore. So, he got up, hurried past Gerard, and met Gia at the door.

“She’ll be home by midnight, I swear. With all her limbs still connected to her body.” He closed the door before the shoe, courtesy of Gerard Way, hit the back of his head.

Gerard frowned, staring at the closed door. His feet hurt from kicking it shut. He really needed heavier shoes to throw at Gia’s potential gentleman company. Flip flops don’t hurt as much as steel toed boots, after all. And he had a feeling he had some butts to kick before the night was out.

________________________

“I can’t believe you told my dad you were planning on murdering and chopping me to pieces.”

“Don’t forget molesting,” Lucas reminded her. They were standing in line for the movie to get the tickets, and lucky for them, there weren’t many people at the theater. It was a quiet night.

“I wish you wouldn’t have done that,” Gia sighed, shaking her head.

“Why? The man is a nutcase!”

Gia laughed, agreeing. “Exactly. But what you don’t realize that after you drop me off and drive away, I still have to live with him. Anyway, what movie do you want to see?” Gia asked, looking up at the list of movies starting soon.

“Anything but the Notebook.”

Gia smiled sweetly, took his hand and said: “I think I want to see the Notebook.”

“Just because I don’t?”

Gia laughed. “Oh come on. It’s not like we’ll actually be watching the movie.”

Lucas had to agree, and now he, too, was glad that the theater was relatively empty. Besides them, there were only a few more couples. And one other.

In one of the corners, hidden by the shadows and a small potted plant, was lurking a man dressed in a trench coat, black women’s sunglasses and a bushy fake mustache. Every now and then, he would sneakily glance at the unsuspecting young couple waiting in line, chuckle, and plot further his super duper secret mission.

_______________________

Everything was going according to plan. Well, almost. Frank Iero sat at the back of the movie theater, sweating through his thick coat, blinded by the sunglasses in the already dark theater, and his mustache kept dropping into his popcorn and he had already more than once attempted to eat it by accident.

And not only that, but the movie was so dull. Why all these young couples would want to see something like this crap, went past Frank’s understanding. When he took Jamia out on a romantic date, they’d go see monster trucks or the circus or something with a lot of fire and explosions.

Because the movie made his brain hurt, Frank kept his eyes strictly fixed on the young couple a few rows ahead of him. He could just see the blonde hair of the girl, and the slimy hands of the disgusting teenage boy who put his arm around her narrow shoulders. Oh no, Buddy. Not on Uncle Frank’s watch.

Abandoning his box of delicious popcorn, Frank climbed over the few rows of chairs, thus advancing sneakily but steadily towards the young, unsuspecting lovers. For a moment Frank lurked behind them like a cat ready to jump on an unguarded pile of fish and mice, and then he poked his head between them and asked: “Whatcha watching guys?!”

The two teens stared at the man in shock as he climbed over the last chair, pushing the two of them apart and stuffing himself onto the chair the blonde girl was sitting on, forcing her to make room.

Frank sighed contently, removed his shades and spread his arms, placing them on each of their shoulders. “So, Lucas. What’s up?”

But when he looked at the dark haired boy, he saw that this was not Lucas at all. “Hey Gia, I thought you were going out with Lucas? Are you two-timing him, because if you are, I want in on that. Gia?”

It was when he looked at the blonde girl that Frank realized his full mistake. The girl staring at him was most definitely not his precious niece. “Wow,” Frank barked a laugh, removing his arms from their shoulders. “This is kinda awkward, isn’t it? I’ll just leave you two be, then...”

Picking up his sunglasses, Frank rose and scanned the room. Now he definitely found the right pair of young people. Creeping, like a cheetah following its pray, quietly through the jungle of rows of chairs, Frank made his way to the couple that he was 99% sure were the ones he was supposed to be chaperoning.

And speaking of chaperoning, Frank was obviously not doing a very good job, because a certain unnamed boy had his tongue down Frank’s bestie’s daughter’s throat, and that did not sit well with Frank’s bestie, so Frank also had a problem with it.

“Guys, make some room for me,” Frank commanded, hovering above them like a gigantic fleshy mobile that one might hang above a crib.

Gia and Lucas broke apart, and Frank was pleased to see that he had stopped the orgy before it had even properly started. “Frank?!” Gia shouted, earning a few shushes from the rest of the audience. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m watching the movie. Now make room. We’re missing movie time.” Lucas was forced to move from his seat when Frank pretty much forced his butt on the one next to Gia’s seat.

“You seriously expect me to believe you’re here by yourself?” Gia asked, staring at her uncle in disbelief.

“Sure. This movie is like my favorite! Belleville is a pretty small town, you know, it’s not such a surprise that we would all three happen to be in this movie theater at the same time. Is that popcorn?”

As Frank devoured the whole box of popcorn and finding himself lost in the movie, content with the fact that he had interrupted the impending baby-making, Gia and Lucas quietly and carefully sneaked out of the dark movie theater, and drove as far away from Frank as possible.

__________________________

Their next stop was a pizza restaurant about a half an hour drive from the cinema. It was a cute place, and it was mostly in favour of the younger folk in town. It also happened to have the best pizza in town.

“Are you eating that?” Lucas asked, practically drooling. Each of them had gotten their own pizzas, but Lucas had devoured his own in a matter of minutes while Gia was just starting on her own.

“Take what you want,” Gia laughed. “You’re such a pig. Honestly, is there no bottom to your appetite?”

“It’s not my stomach where the food goes. You think I can maintain these muscles just like that? No way, this body takes a lot of work. That includes eating a ton of food.”

Gia nodded, glancing at the scrawny boy’s skinny arms. Okay, he wasn’t that scrawny, but he definitely had no muscles either.
“So,” Gia started after a moment of silence during Lucas’ eating. “I was told you’re in a band these days?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said. Now he looked excited. “We’re still in the garage phase, but we’re awesome! I play the guitar of course. You know, because of Frank.”

“Do you guys have a name?”

“Right now it’s The Sexiest Lemurs, but we keep changing it. At one point we were Invisible Ninjas, you know, stuff like that. You should come see us play sometime.”

“Oh, have you played a lot for other people?”

Lucas shrugged. “Mostly for our moms and stuff... They don’t really like the lyrics, though.”

“What can you expect from a band called Sexiest Lemurs?”

“Drugs, sex, rock and roll and shit, the classics?” he joked, trying to make Gia smile. Then he reminded himself of her past, which wasn’t exactly free of those things, and bit his lip. Luckily she cracked a smile.

“Not normally what mothers like,” she laughed. “Except for Linds. That mom would be all over the rock and roll.”

“I know what else she’s been all ove-”

“Please, don’t bring up my fathers’ sex life,” Gia pleaded, shuddering in disgust. She could acknowledge the fact that she was brought into the world with the help of her father’s loins, but other than that, she did not want to know about anything or think about it, for that matter.

“Are we talking about Gerard’s sex life?” Frank piped in, appearing from nowhere. He was dragging a chair with him and took a seat at their table. “Good, because I have a TON of stories! This one time on tour, this happened before Lindsey came along of course, there was this whorehouse - Oh my god this pizza is so good!”

While Lucas could only stare at the invader in horror, Gia covered her face with the palms of her hands and groaned in frustration.

“For the love of god, Frank!” Gia sighed. “You followed us?!”

“Yeah, with no help at all!” Frank replied, a string of cheese hanging from the side of his mouth (which was of course filled with half chewed pizza). “I had to find my own way! It was really rude of you guys to leave me like that! I had to watch that movie and sit there all by myself! I was so lonely! All those loving couples around me and I just... It hurt. Deeply.”

Gia rolled her eyes. “Come on, Lucas,” she commanded, standing up.

“We’re leaving?” Lucas asked, and started to fish out his wallet.

“Don’t bother,” she said, grabbing his hand. “Frank just offered to pay for everything.”

“But wait,” Frank mumbled. He had trouble speaking because he had pizza midway through his throat. “I’m not finished eating!”

Gia threw him one last menacing look and dragged Lucas away. She was so disappointed by all this. She had been so looking forward to this date, and Frank and Gerard just ruined everything. In a way Gia knew it was kind of sad how much this one night mattered, but the truth is, she didn’t have a lot of good stuff going for her lately. All she wanted was one nice evening with a boy she liked, was that really too much to ask? Gosh.

“Where to?” Lucas asked when they got to the car. “This was all I had planned.”

“Just take me home,” she replied, and felt bad about it when Lucas looked disappointed.

_______________________

The car pulled up to the driveway, and Gia was very aware that her father was undoubtedly peeking through the curtains of one of the windows. Still, she was in no hurry to leave the car.

The car was terrible. Even with the windows wide open, the scent of old urine, old people and rusty metal was overwhelming, but what can you expect? It was a very old car. It was shared by Lucas and Danny, they couldn’t afford much better than this old piece of junk. Still, Gia would’ve much rather sat in that car for the rest of the night than go into the house and be asked all kinds of questions.

“I’m sorry about all this,” Lucas said, sensing that she wasn’t all that happy.

Gia looked at him and gave him a small smile. “Hey, it’s not your fault. Aside from all the Frank stuff, I had fun.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Fun enough for me to see you naked tonight?”

Gia laughed lightly, but shook her head. “No way. Sorry but you’re going to have to wait a while for that to happen again.”

“Well. Then I guess there’s no point in me asking you out again, is there?” he said, pretending to be upset.

“You’re such a jerk... Now we’re never going to do it ever again.”

Unsure whether she was joking or not, Lucas went silent. “Wait, what?” he finally asked.

Gia rolled her eyes. She unbuckled her seatbelt and edged closer to him on the car seat. She put a hand on the side of his face, making him face her, and kissed him. She could practically feel her father’s fists tighten around the binoculars, but she didn’t really care. He ruined her date, so she had at least deserved this much.

And it was a damn good kiss, until a certain guitar player popped his head in through the window on Gia’s side of the car and smiling brightly. “What’s up guys?!”

Deciding that this was a good enough ending to the evening, Gia broke the kiss, grabbed her purse and hurried out of the car. Lucas was still feeling a little bit dazed when Gia bid him good night and marched to the front of the house.

“So...” Frank began as they watched the door close behind the girl. “You wanna go out for ice cream?”

In Lucas’ opinion the night wasn’t such a disaster. Despite Frank’s chaperoning, he had a nice time. He was happy. “Sure, why not” Lucas replied, and had a smile on his face all the way to the ice cream parlor.

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A/N: I haven't got a CLUE what's happening in the next one. But I do know that we are nearing the end!
A small shout out: I've been reading this lovely thing: http://www.ficwad.com/story/197881
And I am planning my next story already :D I can't decide between these few ideas I have, though, so I keep changing it... Ah, well.