FicWad

AN: I know, I haven't updated anything on here in forever. Though that should've been expected with me moving over to live journal and all that. 

So I'm only actively doing... 2 stories and random little one shots on this site. 
But the only reason I haven't updated is because I'm in love, with a girl, that I can never have, because she's straighter than (name straight thing here). 

We're going to see The Possession together this Friday. I'm going to embarrass myself and wish I had a penis, then take it back because boys are stupid and I really don't want a penis. 

Anywho, sorry for the wait (and really long Authors Note that you probably aren't even reading but maybe skimmed through) and here ya go.
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I was physically hurting. Everything I had done to my brother and my boyfriend -if I can even call him that- has suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I was suddenly seeing the error of my ways. 

The world would be much happier if I would just drop dead. I don't deserve to have such amazing people in my life. All I ever do is use them then screw them over -sometimes literally-. I wrapped my arms around Frank. 

I kissed his forehead. Wondering how one kid could be so perfect. He's special. I don't want to destroy him like I do everything else. All I've ever done is destroy things. 

When me and Gerard were younger I'd actually accidentally ruin his drawings. I'd always end up causing the toaster to explode. I don't even want to begin to think about that time I took the heater in the bathroom while I was taking a shower. 

I've destroyed a lot of things. I don't want Frankie to be one of them, I love him too much. I should just leave him and Gerard alone and let them be happy. They can have little Frankie babies or something. They're perfect for each other. They're adorable together.  They bring out the best in each other. 

I bring out the worst in everything. I'm a waste of space. I'm just generally not worth the time. I'm like heroin,  attractive, addictive, but will eventually kill you. 

I should just get out of everyone's way. Suicide has never been so appealing. But I understand why people do it now. If I'd just off myself, everyone would be happy. 

My mom would have one less mouth to feed. My brother might find a job. Frankie and Gerard will live happily together. My living has destroyed so many lives. If I die, it will change the pattern of the universe. 

Maybe I should just do. I squeezed Frank then got up slowly, unlocking my arms from around him carefully. No need to wake my beautiful little pixie. I kissed his forehead then walked over to my desk. 

Now, how does one write a suicide note. Hmm, okay. 

To whom it may concern: 

I'm probably burning in hell. Have a great life. 

Love,  Michael.

I ripped up the paper and threw it on the ground angrily. 

Dear Family and Friends, 

I did this for you guys. Everyone's life will be better without me. Play Anthrax at my funeral damnit. 

Forever yours in hell
Mikey 'bad ass mother fucker' Way. 

No. Not descriptive enough and kind of insensitive. 

Dear people, 

Fuck the world. 

Bye, 
MOIKEH 

Gah. I sighed frustraitated. Throwing yet another balled up piece of paper across the room in anger, nearly forgetting Frankies existence. 

Hi world, 

Bye world.

Yours in death
Michael 'Mikey' James Way
PS: Bury me in my favorite Anthrax tee shirt. Play Anthrax at my funeral. Tell Ray I hate his guts and I think he sucks. Tell Frank he can have my bass. Make Gerard sing at my funeral. Tell everyone with the name 'Michael' that I'm a better god damned Michael than they'll ever be.

No no no. It's all wrong. 

Hi, 

I'm dead. 

Love, 
       Mikey. 



























See all you bastards in hell.

I stared at the paper questioningly. It will have to do. I got out a second sheet for Frank. 

Hey Frank, I'm sorry. For everything. Please. Be happy. Live a long life, enjoy everyday. Do something you love, make all the other bastards on this earth jealous of how happy and amazing you are. Love you, forever,even in death. 
Mikey. 

I folded up both papers and laid them on my bed next to the beautiful sleeping boy. One of these papers was labeled general and the other was labeled Frankie. 

I creeped slowly across the hall to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me. Do I lock it or not? They'll find a way in, I decided, locking the door. I rummaged through the cabinet till I found the razor. I've never used it. But always had it just in case.  

I sat on the floor. Deciding to cut to the chase, knowing if I were to hesitate I'd back out. My adrenaline was going. I slowly cut across my wrist as deep I could.

 It initially wasn't as bad as I thought. Then the pain hit, and the blood spilled, staining the tile floor and my skinny jeans. I grimaced and repeated the action on my other wrist with all the force I could manage. 

My vision spotted. The pain becoming almost comforting. It was bliss. I could hear an angel calling my name. "MIKEY!" But there was no light. Just darkness. But the pain went away entirely, everything did. 

"Mikey" The faint whisper of the angel becoming the last memory I ever carry of this world. 



Franks POV

Tears flooded from my eyes. I shook the door nob trying to force the door open. "MIKEY!" I screamed. My sobs uncontrollable. I couldn't stop shaking. 

Gerard appeared next to me. "Whats going on? Like there's a ruckus and what not." I looked at him sadly. "Call 911." I cracked. I fell to the floor, staring at the ceiling. "What?" Gerard looked bewildered, he doesn't know what's going on. "Call nine-one-one." I took the crumbled paper labeled General and handed it to him shakily. 

Gerard scanned over the paper then threw it to the ground angrily and ran down stairs. It felt like hours but the sirens came faint in the distance. I tuned it all out. I've never been good with tragedies. The love of my life could be dead. 

I want to be dead. I'd never enjoyed this life. It was always Mikey who got me through, always Mikey. How could he just leave me like that? To rot.  The uniformed evil. Placed his beautiful no longer living body on a stretcher, carrying him downstairs and out of my vision. 

Mrs. Way rode in the ambulance with my lifeless Mikey. I'll never forget how he looked. Laying there on the bathroom floor. Lifeless, pale, bloodstained. Like a canvas. The artist decided he didn't like the already perfect painting. So he changed it. 

He screwed it into a new twisted existence. Making the out masterpiece a memory. Gone, forever. I sat by the bathroom door. Gerard attempted to talk to me. His words carried no meaning. I didn't understand them. I've lost a piece of me, I'm broken. 

I almost felt insensitive. Gerard is his brother. He must feel just as bad as I do. I looked up at him sadly. His teary eyes, held nothing but pain. He muttered something about going to the hospital and disappeared. I heard the distant roar of an engingene cut on and drive off.  I stayed here sitting by the bathroom door. Just staring at the ceiling,  I can't watch my love die. Because its all my fault. 

I screw up everything. All I ever do is screw things up. I crawled into the bloody bathroom with all the strength I had left. I grabbed the abandoned razor. Mikey always called me his Juliet. 


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That was surprisingly easy to write. We got more into the mind of ever so interesting Mikey. The story is NOT over. That doesn't mean he lives though. It just means the stories not over. I'll guess you'll have to wait and see.

But the ending is nearing. Not soon. But nearing.