FicWad

I hate my life. Here's your god damned update. It's short and not my best. But I didn't have a good week. Of course that's gonna reflect in my writing and I'm sorry. The next update will be longer and better. I promise. School just started, my life is hell, updates will get slower.
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Franks POV 

I walked-well hobbled- down the street, everything aching. Having no actual destination other than 'out of The Ways lives'. 

They hated me. I turned their worlds into shit. Of course Mikey has a part in it but of course they wouldn't turn against him. 

I should've known this was gonna happen. Life has no happy endings, for me at least. Gerard and Mikey will continue on with their lives. 

They'll get married. Not to each other, of course. They'll be happy, with me out the picture. Nobody will screw up their lives anymore. 

I just... they hate me, so much. Why do I ruin everything good in my life? I should've just stayed with Gerard. I never should've given in to Mikeys charm.  

Gerard and I had something. Did I have to go and ruin that? With Gerard, I had a safeness and security. Why did I throw that away? 

Than again, he just beat me into pieces. Maybe that's his true nature. Then I would've been stuck in an abusive relationship. I am such a waste of space. 

Why am I even alive? Why couldn't I do it? If I had killed myself, everyone would've been happy. Now I just feel rejected. I stopped walking -limping more like- once outside the subway. 

~+~

I bought a one way ticket for the farthest place it could get me. New York. Not far but better. 
~+~

The grimy streets of New York were busy, as per usual. People rushing to and fro.  It was  suddenly hitting me… I have nowhere to go. 

Fuck. 

Mikeys POV 

They finally let me go home. But I've been prescribed anti-depressants and I have therapy twice a week. 

I rolled my eyes at the thought. I am in no way suicidal. I just tried to kill myself, like one time, for the sake of others. 

Sure, I'm definitely going to do it again, considering my reason for living, the love of my life is dead.  But I'm not suicidal. I'm just… passionate. 

Plus a piece of me, no, my other half was torn out my life. Of course I'm a tad depressed. 

Another reason I have a right to be depressed. I'm not allowed to go to Franks funeral. His parents called saying that I'm not allowed anywhere near him, dead or not. 

Gerard has been acting weird lately. Like watching me carefully, looking for something. I don't know, maybe he knows something  I don't. 

Maybe he feels guilty for going to my boyfriends funeral when I couldn't. Well, I guess Frankie was his boyfriend. 

I can't believe I'm thinking about him in past tense. I can't believe that's all the little gorgeous ball of energy is now, a memory, the past. 

Frank Anthony Iero, was my light. He was my sanity, my reason for living, my better half, my voice of reason and rationality. Frankie was my cute little pixie. 

Everything about him spelled out perfect, from head to toe. He was mine. My therapist says I have an issue with commitment because I have abandoment isssues and a fear of rejection.

Of course none of that bullshit is true though. 
~+~ 

I released the contents of my stomach into the grimy toilet. The stingy in my throat, the pull in my stomach, the disgusting taste still not ceasing to fade. 

You'd think that when things become sort of a daily routine, hangovers would numb over. You'd become immune or something. Maybe stop puking up your guts every morning. 

I walked out the mangy bathroom straightening my tie. A cell phone was lying on the ground of the otherwise empty hallway.

 I assumed it to be some random party-goers that got to drunk/drugged up to notice when i disappeared. 

I picked it up and dialed my brothers number. He picked up immediately. "Hello?" He answered cautiously. 

He's been on edge lately. I'm not entirely sure why. "Hey, it's Mikey. I'm using a friends phone." I lied. 

Coming up with things on the spot has become very easy lately. "Oh hey Mikes. I was worried about you. What happened to your phone?" Gerard's question almost threw me off guard. I have no idea where my phone is. I searched my pockets, nothing. 

I thought on my toes, genius rolling off my tongue like I had a script. "My phone died. Look, I'm at a friends house and I got a ride over here. My ride left without me last night and I don't know where I am." I could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. 

I walked back into the room I woke up in. The naked figure still strewn across the bed. I couldn't tell if it was male or female, either way they won't be walking straight for a bit. 

I sighed, walking out the room. "Come get me?" He muttered something I couldn't understand, then spoke up. "Do you have any idea what part of New Jersey you're in?" I thought about it. Damn. "Actually, I'm in Pennsylvania." Okay, now I can clearly imagine that little vain in his neck popping. 

He sighed frustraightedly. "Fine, I'll be there. Just hang tight. Oh and one thing." Oh god... the catch. "Yes big bother?" I forced sweetness into my tone, making me sound like a innocent child. "When I get, you are getting tested at one of the local clinics. I'll call you when I'm on the road, then we can figure out where you are and everything." He hung up, not letting me protest. 

I walked back into the dark room and shook the figure awake. Hey, its a boy. He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly confused an unknowing to the situation. "Look, I'm bored and need to pass the time. So, turn around bitch."