Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Kids from yesterday

You can’t swim, you can’t dance and you don’t know karate. But your brother does.

by xxMetalxFreak69 0 reviews


Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2012-09-11 - Updated: 2012-09-11 - 5356 words

Chapter eight: You can’t swim, you can’t dance and you don’t know karate. But your brother does.

Frank’s point of view:

I walked upstairs behind Gerard, trying my utter best to not look at his ass. See, this is why being smaller than five feet absolutely sucks: Walking upstairs behind your oh so coincidently extremely hot new guy friend with his ass swaying from side to side is very distracting-if you’re gay anyway. Okay so if I don’t get caught it ain’t that bad I guess. As I thought this, suddenly being short didn’t seem so bad. Not when you’ve got a view as good as this.

Wait, did I just fill a full paragraph about me trying to not look at my friends’ coincidently, tight, pert, skinny jean clad ass?

Yep you did.

Oh great its my ‘good friend’. Also called my ‘conscience’. Notice the quotation marks I put in there?

Ya know I ain’t exactly overjoyed to be your conscience either if it makes you feel any better.

Yeah like totally. Great to know even my own ‘conscience’ thinks it got stuck with a shit ass job. I’m pretty sure the Devil would sympathise with you too buddy. Having to put up with assholes complaining all the time about how the world sucks, life ain’t fair…

Like you do on a daily basis by any chance?

Shut it.

Now I gotta put up with you all but drooling over Sir sex on legs over there. God what did I do to deserve this job? Why couldn’t I be in a normal teenagers’ brain?

I was not drooling!

You were as good as!

What? I can’t help it if I can’t deny my friend is extremely attractive now can I?

No but it would help if you stopped staring at his ass.

Why? I got a chance of having a good view. Not every day I get an opportunity like this.


Am not.

You are.

By calling me a pervert, you’re calling yourself one dumbass.

So now you’re calling yourself a dumbass?

…shut it.

Sweet comeback. Almost as sweet as the view you’ve got.

Well considering my view is pretty good then yeah it was a pretty sweet comeback.

What? The wooden door covered in band stickers including one that says ‘Metal up your ass’?

I blinked; I was staring at a door. Which did have stickers covering it like a lick of paint. Including one that said ‘Metal up your ass’.
Ha metal up your ass. Nice.

Bet you wish you had a certain someone’s certain something up your ass…

Now who’s being perverted?

Not exactly denying it are you?

I chose to ignore this and went through the door to find out where Gee and his brother went to. I had to admit his brother was pretty attractive too now that I think about it.


How the fuck am I a whore? I haven’t slept with the both of them have I?

No, but I bet you have a sexual fantasy of a threesome with the both of them.

Dude, they’re brothers.


Incest much?

Didn’t necessarily say they’d be fucking; just that you’d be either the top or bottom with the both of them.

I rolled my eyes at that; It was way too fucking early for this bullshit.

It’s 2pm!

Hey, until I get at least three cups of coffee down my system, it’s too early.

I heard voices from what I guessed was the kitchen; one was pretty high pitched, the other rather sarcastic. Grinning to myself I went to find out the commotion.

“Mikey fucking Way how many times have I told you to not stick a fork in the flipping toaster!”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe only like a dozen times.”

I stepped into the kitchen to see Gerard standing with a fork in his hand next to the toaster while Mikey was sitting slouched at the table, arms folded,leg crossed over the other and a pout on his lips.

“Well maybe you should try listening!”
“Why should I? Think I would kill us all if I didn’t?” Mikey asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
“Uh…maybe.” Gerard said as if it was obvious, “I don’t know about you Mikes but I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to blow the house up the minute my back was turned!”

I covered my mouth to stifle the giggles that were beginning to erupt but obviously that didn’t work considering the brothers both whipped round to look at me. I felt a flush of heat cross my face at the realization I had been caught.
“Hey Frankie, wondered where you got to.” Gerard grinned and I instantly felt my legs weaken, “Thought you decided to go back to sleep.”

“Mmph.” I mumbled oh so smartly in reply as I fought to keep control over my legs. Damn him for being so attractive…

Gerard frowned cutely in confusion before shrugging, “Anyway you missed all the action.” he rolled his eyes before pointing the fork he was holding at his younger brother who stuck his tongue out in response, “Fucktwat here decided to be a complete fucktard again.”
“Hey I ain’t a fucktwat or a fucktard! And besides, not my fault you’re a total killjoy!” Mikey snapped back indignantly, glaring at his older brother.
“What? Cause I decided I didn’t wanna get incinerated by a toaster before I hit thirty-five?” Gerard asked dryly.
“Bite me!” Mikey replied childishly.
Gerard rolled his eyes yet again as he flipped his brother off. I shook my head, laughing as I sat across from Mikey, arm up on the back rest, my legs crossed over the other. Mikey smirked playfully before kicking me underneath the table.
“Ouch!” I yelped, jumping in my chair as Gerard started laughing while Mikey grinned.
“That’s what cha get for laughing at me.” Mikes replied smartly.
I glared lightly at him though I didn’t actually feel any anger towards him. Gerard jumped as the kettle clicked and he turned round, ignoring our sniggers only responding by flipping us off, to prepare the coffee.
“How’d you take yours Frank?” he asked over the clatter of pulling out mugs from the cupboard.
“Um milk and two sugars.” I responded trying my best not to stare at his ass again-or the pale skin that was on show due to his shirt riding up as he stretched slightly.
Mikey I noticed was smirking again. I ignored this as Gerard tutted, sounding like my mother did when I woke up with a hangover.
“I don’t get how you guys can put sugar or milk in it.” Gerard said sounding rather distasteful as he pulled out a carton of milk from the fridge.
I don’t get how you can drink it straight.” Mikey shot back though he was grinning.
“Cause it tastes good, and wakes you up quicker.” Gerard replied smartly.
Mikey rolled his eyes but smiled fondly at his brother. I smiled slightly to myself. It was obvious these two were close. It made me feel slightly jealous. Being an only child, I didn’t really have anyone to be close to, to look up to, or protect. And my parents being divorced made it suck even more. Looking at the Way brothers, I could tell Mikey looked up to his brother by the way he smiled at him and the way he spoke about him. Gerard was obviously very fond of his brother, due to how highly he spoke of him.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a mug getting put in front of me. I blinked then grinned gratefully at Gee who grinned back before lighting up a cigarette from the pack on the counter.
Mikey coughed deliberately and Gerard, rolling his eyes yet again, passed him the cigarette he had already lit up to his brother, “Start buying your own will you?”
“Can’t, I’m too young to buy them dumbass.” Mikey replied as if Gerard was being retarded.
“Well you know what that means then don’t cha?” Gee asked smirking slightly before taking a drink of his own black coffee.
“That if you can’t buy, you can’t smoke.” Gerard said simply before daintily taking the cigarette from Mikey’s relaxed fingers and taking a long deliberate drag from it, blowing the smoke in his brothers’ face.
“Fuck off.” Mikey said annoyed snatching the cigarette back while I giggled in my chair.
I fumbled around in my jean pocket looking for my own pack of cigarettes before realizing I must have left them back in the basement. I cussed under my breath.
“What’s up Frankie?” Mikey asked curiously taking a sip of his coffee while Gee lit up another cigarette.
“Left my cigs downstairs.” I sighed, “Okay if I nip back down to-” I was cut off by Gerard holding out he just lit cigarette in front of me, “I got my own Gee.” I said though I was grinning.
Gerard shrugged, “It’s cool, you take this one and I’ll go downstairs and fetch yours while I go get changed.”
I smiled, “Thanks.” I took the cigarette daintily from Gee’s slender, pale artist fingers, secretly admiring how smooth his skin was compared to my callused fingers, and placed the cig between my lips.
“No prob.” he muttered suddenly blushing before grinning at me almost shyly before adding in, “Wanna borrow something to wear? Cause I don’t think you’d wanna walk around in the clothes you slept in.” he smirked suddenly teasingly at me.
I blushed slightly then realized Mikey was making retching noises over his mug of coffee. Gerard rolled his eyes, flipping his brother off.
“Um yeah if that’s okay.” I muttered smiling shyly.
“Kay Gimmie a few minutes kay?” Gerard grinned and I felt my heart rate quicken before he left the kitchen.
I realized my mouth was hanging open as I watched him leave the room, noticing how his skinny hips swayed slightly as he walked, only turning back round when Mikey said, “You trying to catch flies or are you impersonating a dead fish?”
I whipped round, shutting my mouth as I did so as a blush reached my face yet again. Shit he must of caught me.

Well you weren’t exactly being discreet were you?

You! You just fuck off will ya!

Mikey was looking at me with a knowing smirk on his lips. He’s being doing that a lot this morning.
Ah well, when you get caught checking your friends’ brother out (who is also your friend) reply with a smartass comment.

“Do you like wearing the glasses at the end of your nose? Or is that to help you see what’s in front of you better?”

Wow best comeback ever dude. Notice the sarcasm?

Didn’t I tell you to fuck off!?

“Dude, not only was that the lamest comeback ever-trust me I’ve heard a lot of lame comebacks from my brother- but I don’t really think I even need glasses to see what’s happening in front of me.” Mikey replied smirking before taking a drag.

Oh! Zing!

Shut it.

I frowned in annoyance, “And what are you seeing?” I asked in what I hope was a unconcerned fashion as I took a sip of my coffee. Fuck it tasted good.
“Oh nothing really important. Ya know just that I’m seeing my friend checking my brothers’ ass out every ten seconds and going all gooey eyed when he speaks to him oh and the obvious checking out of his body if that was what the dead fish impersonation was about.” Mikey shrugged as if it didn’t matter while I just wanted the ground to swallow me up right now, “But part from that, nothing really important.” Mikey finished, taking a sip of coffee though I could see a smirk curving his lips.

I probably look like I have a bad case of sunburn right now I was blushing that much.
I started stuttering while Mikey started laughing.
"Its okay dude, god don’t take a fit on me.” he grinned, “You make it sound like it’s a crime to check someone out!”
“Bu, but, but, but it’s your brother!” I yelped, accidentally burning my lip with my cigarette making me yelp again and Mikey to laugh harder.
“Your point?” he giggled.
“Well don’t you find it weird?”
“No should I?” Mikey asked raising an eyebrow at me.
“Well considering I’m both your friends and that you just caught me checking your brother out, aren’t you like freaking out?”
“Nope.” Mikey stated, popping the ‘P’ as he took a drag of his cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray beside him.
Noticing my look of incredulous disbelief on my face he grinned, “Listen, speaking from a bisexual guys’ point of view even I can tell my brother is extremely attractive and considering am an observant kind of guy, I notice he attracts a lot of attention from others-just that he’s too low in confidence to see it or believe it.” Mikey frowned at that, while I was shocked; how can a hot guy like Gee be low in confidence? Hell how is a guy like that single!, “Anyway why am I not freaking out? Cos I’m actually glad you see it too.”
“That he’s good looking.” Mikey said making it obvious, “He won’t believe me when I say it. Or the other guys and if any other person says it in school he thinks they’re just taking the piss out of him. So maybe considering he just met you, he might be more inclined to believe it if you told him.”
I let my brain take in all this, “Like how?” I asked all but whining, “I mean I said he was cute yesterday then he asked why and I started stuttering like a complete idiot!” I threw my arms up in exasperation, not believing I was having this conversation with the guys’ fucking younger brother!
“Well that’s a start.” Mikey shrugged, “Just throw him some compliments, make him feel good about himself.” he then blinked in realization and a blush actually crept on his face, “That’s if you do actually like him that is, ya know like like, I mean-”
Great the guy sounded like I did last night, “Yeah I like him, guess I’ve kind of got a crush on him.” I mumbled suddenly feeling rather self conscious.
Mikey grinned, “Aww that is so sweet!” he all but squealed and I felt myself blush though I felt glad Mikey was only squealing and not shouting abuse at me for crushing on his brother.
“What’s sweet?”
I jumped and looked round-and my jaw dropped-again. Gerard was standing at the doorway, his newly dyed black hair styled in an out of bed way, tight ripped black skinny jeans that hugged his legs perfectly, with a few chains hanging from the belt loops where a black leather silver studded belt was placed, a tight fitting Zombie killer black shirt that showed off his soft muscle defined arms and biceps and a pair of knee high black leather biker boots. He also wore some dramatic black guy liner, a black choker and a studded Iron Maiden wristband. Needless to say his outfit left little to the imagination it was that tight fitting. To add to the hotness, he was smoking a cigarette as he leaned against the door frame, one leg crossed over the other at the ankle and an arm wrapped round his ribs.
Again I wondered how the fuck this image of perfection lacked confidence, was gay and how the fuck he was freaking single.
“I uh um was telling Mikey about-” I stuttered suddenly feeling rather hot as I pulled on the collar of my shirt, having no idea on what I was going to say. I couldn’t exactly say ‘Oh just that me and your brother were discussing on how attractive you were and how to make you notice it-oh and the fact that I’ve got a crush on you despite only knowing you for three days’ now could I?

Gerard raised an eyebrow at me expectedly as he blew out some smoke from his mouth. How the fuck can a guy turn me on just by flipping smoking in front of me!?
“Frank was telling me about that time he took a stray dog in from the street when he was a kid.” Mikey said so calmly I almost believed him.
I tried my best to act like Mikes was telling the truth by adding in, “Yeah back in my hometown I found a dog that was lying in the street, starving by the looks of it and I took it home to tae care of it.” Fuck I hope to God that I sounded as calm and as convincing as Mikey.
“Aww that is sweet.” Gerard looked like he was convinced by the soft smile on his lips, “Ya know I always wanted a dog.” he said thoughtfully.
I grinned at Mikey who discreetly winked at me to let me know that I was off the hook. Gerard casually pushed himself off the door frame as he walked into the kitchen and made himself another coffee, “Oh here’s your cigs by the way.” he took them out of his pocket (how the fuck did he even get them in there? Those jeans are fucking tight!) and threw them over at me. I caught them saying thanks and he grinned before saying, “There’s a change of clothes in the bathroom by the way, just in case you wanted to take a shower or something.”
“Trying to say I smell bad?” I joked grinning.
Mikey suddenly held his nose, “Yeah I can like totally smell you from here.” he said dramatically making us laugh.

Gerard’s point of view.

I leaned against the counter sipping my coffee before taking one last drag of my cigarette before putting it out while Frank said he was going upstairs to take my suggestion and shower before getting dressed. Mikey was finishing off his coffee though I couldn’t help but notice he had a knowing look in his eye. I discreetly sneaked a glance at Frankie’s behind as he walked out the room, admiring how tight and pert it was and loving his small frame before turning back to Mikey who was smirking at me.
“What?” I asked defensively.
“You so like him!” he said in a sort of victorious fashion.
“Shhh!” I hissed, flapping my hand in a very camp fashion to tell him to keep it down, “Keep the decimal down will ya!”

“Oh so its true you do like him.” Mikey smirked though his voice was considerably lower than before.
“No! Well, maybe, sorta, um I don’t know! I just met him three days ago!” I hissed hysterically.
Mikey giggled uncontrollably at my reaction, “Oh come on its so obvious.” he grinned, leaning back in his chair-only for it to fall back, sending him crashing to the floor.
I laughed, “Haha serves you right for being a smart ass.” I mocked him though I grinned.
“Shut it lover boy.” he said waspishly as he stood up, lifting the chair back up, as I abruptly stopped laughing and frowned instead, “So come on, admit it you like him.”
I refused to tell my brother that! Well I probably will, I can’t exactly hide anything from my brother considering he is pretty much my best friend, but I ain’t telling him right now. Not after that attitude.
“I told you Mikes, I’ve only known him for about three days.” I replied exasperated.
“So you’ve only know him for just under seventy-two hours so what?” Mikey shrugged, “He’s stayed over hasn’t he? You haven’t shut up about him since you met have you? Haven’t took your eyes off him since have you?"
I ignored that and took another sip of coffee, knowing full well my brother was right. And he knew it judging by the smug look on his face.
“Plus that moment in the bedroom-”
“What moment?” I asked sharply, forgetting my silent treatment.
Mikey grinned, placing a hand on the table, his ass sticking out as he propped his leg out and put his other hand on his hip, “Ya know that moment when you fell on top of Frank and you almost kissed?”
“Yeah if it wasn’t for you bursting in on it.” I mumbled slightly put out.
Mikey laughed, “Ah ha so you were wanting to kiss him!”
Have I ever mentioned how much of a dick my brother can be when he realizes he’s right? No? Well now I am. He is a complete and utter dick when he knows he’s right about something.
“I swear on all things gory and horror related if you tell him Mikes I will personally make sure you will die in the most painful and slowest way possible.” I warned him, not seeing any point in denying any more.
Far from being scared, Mikey just grinned, “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a pot noodle in my eye.” he vowed his face completely poker straight.
I raised an eyebrow at him and he burst out into a fit of hysterical giggles as I shook my head in exasperation.

“And people say I’m the psychotic one?” I asked exasperated.
“You are the psychotic one.” Mikey stated giggling still.
I frowned at that, “Oh so people do say am psychotic?” I asked.
Mikey rolled his eyes, “Dude half the fucking city says you are just because you wear black, listen to different music and look like a fucking vampire.” he said bluntly, “So quit trying to mind rape me.”
I was about to reply when I heard Frank calling; “Who’s raping who?”
“No-one’s raping anyone!” I and Mikey called back.
I and Mikey raised our eyebrows at one another before he burst out into a fit of silent giggles while I just slapped myself before placing a hand on my hip.
“And besides considering you just threatened to kill me in -and I quote this here- ‘in the most painful and slowest way possible.’” Mikey quoted grinning while I rolled my eyes sighing in annoyance and tapping the counter with my fingers, “That’s pretty much the signs of a psychopath.”
“Any more wise cracks and I will get psychotically violent on you bro.”
“Oooohhh am so scared. Please help!” Mikey cried out in fake horror, “Yeah like you’re totally the next Freddie Krueger dude, give Jack the Ripper a run for his money.” he added sarcastically.
“Okay that’s it! You’re going down bro!” I yelled lunging for him-if it wasn’t for the fact he had all ready bolted.

Mikey’s point of view

Okay so maybe it wasn’t a very intelligent idea to wind up my brother. But hey since when have I ever had an intelligent idea?
I ran through the sitting room, up the stairs, hoping to make it to my attic room before my brother caught up to me (trust me for a guy who hates gym class he can sure as hell run when he wants to).
I was just a few yards away from my room-when I was all but rugby tackled to the ground by my brother.
“Ah fuck Gerard get off!” I yelled though I started laughing cause his fingers were digging in to my ribs-where I was most ticklish.
Gerard seemed to have realized this because he smirked rather evilly-and began tickling me like crazy.
“Ah fuck! Quit it Gee!” I all but squealed.
“Nope! Not until you say sorry!”
“No way you fucking psycho!” I squealed out indignantly.
“Yeah like tickling you is really a trait of a psychopath.” Gee replied sarcastically making me laugh even harder.
“Fuck you! RAPE!” I all but screamed with laughter.
“You little fuck twat it is not!”
I was about to try and kick him in the ball sack when the bathroom door opened. I and Gee looked up to see Frank, his hair damp with water, wearing my brothers’ tight fitting Green Day shirt and tight faded grey skinny jeans along with a look of confused perplexity across his face. I and Gee looked at one another; I guess we must look rather…weird. I mean Gee had me pinned to the floor by my hands, and was leaning over me, our faces inches apart, our faces were flushed red with both the running and laughing and Gerard had pinned my legs between his own.

Yeah like we totally don’t look like we’re in a sexual position ya know what I mean?
Plus it didn’t help Frank had heard me shouting out rape a few seconds ago.

“Umm…what the hell is going on here?” Frank asked confused.
“Uhhh….” both of us trailed off, “Nothing?” we suggested meekly.
“Yeah that might convince me if it wasn’t for the fact you both look like you’re gonna screw each other.” Frank replied smirking in amusement.
I noticed Gerard was all but gawping at Frank and I made a noise of disgust and kneed him in the ball sack making him yelp in agony and jump off me. Cruel I know, but I am not having my brother getting turned on by looking at our friend while he’s lying on top of me. Sure Frank does look hot but do you see me all but drooling over him and getting hard while lying underneath my brother? No you don’t.

That would be just plain awkward.

Gerard all but shrieked at me, as I got up “GOD THAT FUCKING HURT! LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”

Frankie was all but close to pissing himself with laughter while I just looked at my brother with a small smirk, eyebrows raised and my arms folded.

“Okay one; calm the fuck down, 2; you are fucking retarded and 3; at least we know now that you actually do have a fucking ball sack-despite how feminine you look.” I ticked off while smirking still.
Gerard blinked at me while Frank burst out into a fresh fit of laughter.

“Good to know that, I’m sure the whole neighbourhood are glad to know that too.” I said smirking, “Now they probably think you’re a psychotic, blood sucking hermaphrodite.”
Gerard looked ready to kill me-and he probably would have. If it wasn’t for the fact Frankie was holding him back by the back of his shirt while he laughed. I bit back a laugh while watching Gerard flail his fists around hysterically trying to hit me.
“Meh! Frankie, let me go! Pretty please! Please!” he begged.
“What for you can kill him?” Frank asked raising an eyebrow, one hand on his hip, “Me think not."
“Aw come on! Just one hit! I promise!”
“Yeah like you could even do that!” I scoffed, tossing my hair back sassily, “More chance of you getting beaten by fresh air!”
“OKAY LEY ME AT HIM! IMMA TURN HIM INTO HAMSTER FOOD GOD DAMN IT!” Gerard yelled flailing around more hysterically.
Frankie looked rather bewildered at my brother before sighing loudly and grabbing my brother around the waist, “Yeah like am really gonna let you do that. No offence but I don’t wanna get arrested for assistant homicide after not being in the city for even a week thanks. And Mikey?”
I looked up trying not to laugh, “Try not to wind your brother up anymore will ya? Cause I don’t think I can hold on to him much longer and if he kills you? I ain’t taking the blame for it.” Frankie said trying very hard to keep a grip on Gerard.
“Please you struggle to kill a fly.” I scoffed completely doing the opposite of Frankie’s request, “And you? Beat me up? Dude you get your ass kicked by doors, lockers and even stairways.”
“OKAY THAT’S IT!” Frank threw his arms up in exasperation obviously giving up and deciding to just let us fight it out instead, “ YOU’RE GOING DOWN NOW MOTHERFUCKER!”
“Oh shit.” I muttered before getting rugby tackled-again- to the ground.

Frank’s point of view.

I leaned against the wall sighing in resignation though I couldn’t help but laugh at the pair of them.
Mikey had Gerard in a headlock while Gerard flailed punches around and was trying to bite his brothers’ hand off.
“Who’s kicking who’s ass now eh Gee?”
“Bite me!”
“Seems like you’re the one who’s doing the biting here.” Mikey said then suddenly yelped, losing grip of his brother, “WHAT THE FUCK DUDE! YOU A CANNIBAL AS WELL AS A BLOOD SUCKER NOW!?” he all but shrieked holding his hand.
I burst out laughing while Gerard, who now resembled a wolf stalking his prey just growled in annoyance and lunged at Mikey, sending them both crashing to the ground.
And with that, Mikey did throw his brother across the room. No I’m not exaggerating here, Mikey, who I thought was a lanky, geeky guy who would have hated any sort of gym work, actually threw his brother across the hall way.
I all but gawped in disbelief as Mikey stood panting heavily, sweeping his hair out of his face and readjusted his glasses while Gerard grumbled across the other side of the hallway.
“How did you do that?” I asked awestruck.
Mikey just smirked “Well-”
“WHAT THE FUCK MIKEY! I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T ALLOWED TO USE THAT IN THE HOUSE! REMEMBER!” Gerard suddenly shouted shooting up and looking pretty much pissed off, his black hair stuck to his face.
“I’ll get back to you on that.” Mikey said so fast I barely understood him before he ran off and rugby tackled his brother to the ground, “MY TURN MOTHER FUCKER!”
I tried my best not to laugh, but of course I failed. It was actually kind of funny watching two brothers, one sixteen, the other eighteen, actually wrestling around the ground like a bunch of four year olds.
I continued to watch this for a good few minutes then-”Hey guys you might wanna watch out for the-” I cut off and flinched as they both went flying downstairs-which was probably rather painful, “Know what? Never mind.” I added in casually before following them downstairs just as the door went, “I got it.” I said grinning as I leaped over them as they both continued to wrestle.
“Thanks!” they both yelled, then Mikey yelped no doubt because Gerard somehow managed to kick him in the ball sack.
I flinched, “No prob.” I muttered in amusement before opening the door-only to be greeted by a big ball of hair which all but tackled me in a bone crushing hug.

Since I moved here and met these two, I didn’t think anything can surprise me, but this just takes the piss.
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