Categories > Books > Harry Potter > White Lantern Wizard
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White Lantern Wizard
(#) RAJR 2012-09-30
Well, I just found your story, and although it does have the potential of certainly being an interesting story, it is entirely too rushed. There isn't enough structure and details included in the story to give it any depth, or body. For an example, someone going to get groceries. A man got into his car, went to the grocery store, bought his groceries, and went home. What about what kind of day it was when he got into his car? What kind of car was it? What did he see on the way to the grocery store? Was the store busy? What did he purchase? Who did he encounter as he was shopping? Put some details into the story, so you can, if you will, put some meat on those bones, and fill out the body of the story. Like I said, there is potential for an interesting story, but not if you continue the way you are now. Great try, keep it up.White Lantern Wizard
(#) PGHammer21 2015-12-24
It's quite logical, considering what each Ring is. Think a beyond-state-of-the-art picophone in ring form. It does everything a smartphone can do - including linking back to either the bearer's Power Battery, or the Central Power Battery of the Spectrum the bearer represents, depending on the location OF said bearer. Most folks that read crossover fanfiction are familiar with one or more of the crossed-over arcs - therefore, such detail that some ask for may be considered extraneous by others. In my case, I'm drawing on my reading and ownership of all seven HP stories, along iwth DC's Tales of the Lantern Corps, and DCUO - which I play regularly on USPC/PC Test - I currently have characters from the Green and Sinestro Corps, and a single RED Lantern (he's a hero character, oddly enough - his mentor is - amusingly - Wonder Woman) on PC Test.
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