Categories > Celebrities > Motley Crue > How Do U Get Here Under My Skin? (Motley Crue)
I looked at him in silence with my mouth open,probably looking like a complete moron. I didn't know what to say! He was cute and talented...but also a slob and annoying, he was affectionate and fun....but also sometimes a little TOO affectionate and fun. What if he cheats on me?! And then there's the age difference...legally we can't even date! Wait...maybe this wasn't really a date...he did just say 'drinks'...yeah,maybe he just wants to get to know me better! After a few minutes of me contemplating and Tommy looking at me,waiting for a response,I said "Yeah,sure!" Tommy's eyes lit up "Aw yeah!" he said as he wrapped me in a bear hug "Okay...okay,so when and where?" I asked "Umm...how about tomorrow,the Troubadour,at like...7 something?" I giggled "Okay then,tomorrow at the Troubadour at 7 something! I'll be there!" Tommy squealed "Great!" I looked at my watch "Oh man I gotta go!" Tommy looked confused "I thought you didn't work on Saturdays or something?" "Yeah I don't...hey wait...how'd you know that?" Tommy shrugged "Cause I see ya around a lot more on Saturdays," I rolled my eyes "Yeah okay but anyway,me and my friend Randii were gonna go to the mall today and I'm like,5 minutes late to pick her up!" Tommy nodded "Sure,and while your at the mall,pick something sexy for our date," a jolt of electricity went through my chest and my hear started pounding 'he said 'our date' ' I thought to myself. But I quickly regained my senses "Okayyy...if you say so," I said teasingly while winking at him. He mock dropped his mouth open. I walked out of his room and out of the apartment and back down to mine. I checked my messages while I got dressed. As I expected there was one from Randii "Girl where are you?! I've been waiting forever! You better get yo ass down here! Ugh!" I sighed and started getting dressed faster. There was a solicitor message and the last message,the most recent that I must've missed just before I came in. Was one that rocked me to my core. "Hello Miss Smith,I'm Nurse Lewis...and I have some bad news. Your grandfather, Steven Smith passed away today at ______. I'm greatly sorry for your loss. He was 57. If you wish you can come to the Los Angeles hospital today between 2:00 and 9:00pm to see him before he's sent away. Thank you." I broke down. I fell to the floor and sobbed like mad. Tears streamed down my face and kept coming and coming. I felt like my still beating heart had been ripped out of my chest and crushed to a million pieces. Steve was my dad's dad and he was the best. He was kind and nice and smart. He would always send me great presents for my birthday,christmas,or when he'd go to some exotic place. He was always thinking about others,he was mad rich but spent most of his life giving away his fortune to needy people and helping people in suffering countries. He was the nicest guy ever,nothing ever got him down. I was filled with guilt for not seeing him,he did live in L.A.,I just thought he'd be disappointed in me,and I wouldn't be able to take that. I laid on the floor,shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. The phone rang again but I didn't get up. Randii left another message announcing she was going to the mall alone. I didn't care. I just wanted to die too,so I could be up in heaven with him. I shook the thought out of my head,because Steve wouldn't want that. He'd want me to live up to my full potential. I just laid there in the middle of my living room floor,I had cried so much I didn't have any tears left,but the sounds were still there. I fell asleep in a wet puddle of tears on the carpet.
-FF 5 Hours-
I was woken up by what sounded like a majority of people clamoring and someone shaking me violently by the shoulders,I pried my tear seared eyes open and when my eyes adjusted I saw Tommy,Nikki,Mick,and Randii all down on the floor and looking at me. They each had different expressions: Tommy was looking shocked/worried/confused,Nikki was looking very carless and seemingly amused at my state,Mick...he's hard to read,he just had a straight face as usual,and Randii was looking confused/guilty/worried. "Oh thank god! What the fuck happened?!" Tommy yelled,not angrily but concerned. A whole new batch of tears came,just as mercilessly as last time. "Oh god baby what'd I do?! Did I say something?? I'm so sorry!!" Tommy said while trying ti hug me in my laying down position. I couldn't get words out yet,I was still sobbing when the guys put me on the couch so Tommy could fully hug me and hold me in his arms. Which was nice because I felt so cold...so alone....so cold and alone. After at least 15 minutes,when my crying had stopped a little,Tommy looked at me and brushed some strands of hair off my face "You wanna talk about it?" he asked softly "What exactly is 'it'?" Nikki asked rudely,half laughing. I burst into tears again "Fuck Nikki,look what you did,she was just starting to calm down!" Tommy said angrily,after 10 minutes I managed to choke out "My grandpa...is dead," Tommy and everyone else all let out sympathetic sighs and phrases all at once and suddenly everyone was there comforting me. Even Nikki who said "Man,that sucks like hell,". After an hour of pretty much just that,Tommy announced "I have an idea!" but then he quieted down "Oh...dude,do you wanna hear it?" he asked me,I nodded "How about...we clean Frankie up and then...this is just an idea...and awesome one at that...how about we hit up all the tat shops and the piercing shops and then we go to the bars or something like that?" Tommy suggested,of course Randii was the first one to speak up "Seriously? That's all you can think about? Partying? Getting drunk? My best friend is seriously grieving and all you can think about is-" I cut her off "Randii...I wanna do Tommy's thing," I said hoarsely "Oh. Okay. Sorry." she said,backing down. "Well then we need to get you cleaned up then!" Tommy said as he got up from the couch and then picked me up bridal style "Where's the bathroom?" he asked, I pointed in the direction of it and he found it right off the bat. He sat me on the floor where I was leaning on the bathtub,then he took a washcloth,got it wet and put soap on it. That might sound really nice,but he did it really sloppily and in what I guess was typical Tommy fashion. He washed my face off and scrubbed it hard. When he was done he said "Well,you probably wanna take a shower or something?" he asked "Yeah...why don't you help me with that?" I said with a faint smile that was supposed to be sexy...well as sexy as I could get seeing as I was like a rag doll slouched in a corner. Tommy put his hands on my hips and then grabbed onto my tee shirt and started to pull it up..."Wait,Tommy no,I feel uncomfortable...I'm sorry," I said as I grabbed his hand "Oh that's okay,I understand," Tommy said as he nodded and took his hands away "You okay?" he asked, I shook my head 'no',he patted me on the leg "I'll be in the living room," and then he got up and left. I pulled myself up and took off my clothes and stepped in the shower. I just stood there for a while,letting the water run over me. I finally cleaned myself off and the stepped out. I wrapped a towel around myself and went to my room. Then I just sat on the bed for a while,depressed,water dripping on me from my hair. After a while there was a knock,I lifted up my head "Who is it?" I called sadly "It's Nikki, you ready yet?" I heard Nikki's drag-queen-ish voice say. I sighed deeply "No...but I'll be there soon," I heard Nikki walk away. I solemnly got up and went to my closet,as I was getting dressed I remembered something. The nurse said I could see Steve before they took him away. I usually didn't like seeing dead people but this was different. I opened my door "Hey guys!" I called,I heard various 'yeahs' and a grunt (probably from Mick) "I...I wanna go see my grandpa for one last time at the hospital," Tommy came running in "Oh sure baby! Whatever it takes to get ya through this," I smiled weakly "Thanks," he nodded and then went back to the living room where I heard him announce we were going to the hospital. Everyone said ok except for Nikki who groaned loudly,I heard Tommy tell him to 'Shut the fuck up,' I went to my closet,I decided to wear something somber and dark. I wore my black corduroy pants,a black spaghetti top,my black leather jacket,and my black ballet flats. I wore my wavy black hair down. I walked out of my room and into the living room. Everyone was silent when we left,got in my car,and the whole way there. We walked into the hospital and I went to the receptionist "Uh yeah I'm Frankie Smith...my grandpa Steven just died...um,I was told I could see him before they uh..." I said awkwardly,the receptionist put on a huge fake smile and said "Yes he's in room 28,and I'm so sorry for your loss," I nodded and we all went there,I went in first and just wanted to die. He looked so frail and weak and old. I started quietly sobbing. Tommy and Nikki came in and stood next to me,they were both squeezing my shoulders. "Could I be alone, just for a second?" Tommy and Nikki nodded and left. I looked at my grandpa for a while before starting to talk even though he couldn't hear me,but maybe he did in heaven. "I'm sorry,I'm so so sorry,I...I...should've came...I should've came and saw you,I was right here in L.A. for 2 months! I could've seen you,I could've told you I was here. I'm sorry,I wish I would've spent more time with you. I wish I could've known you better. I love you,and I'll ALWAYS remember you. And I'm gonna try to be at least half the person you were. Goodbye...for the last time," and with that I got up and walked out,only looking back one last time.
-FF 5 Hours-
I was woken up by what sounded like a majority of people clamoring and someone shaking me violently by the shoulders,I pried my tear seared eyes open and when my eyes adjusted I saw Tommy,Nikki,Mick,and Randii all down on the floor and looking at me. They each had different expressions: Tommy was looking shocked/worried/confused,Nikki was looking very carless and seemingly amused at my state,Mick...he's hard to read,he just had a straight face as usual,and Randii was looking confused/guilty/worried. "Oh thank god! What the fuck happened?!" Tommy yelled,not angrily but concerned. A whole new batch of tears came,just as mercilessly as last time. "Oh god baby what'd I do?! Did I say something?? I'm so sorry!!" Tommy said while trying ti hug me in my laying down position. I couldn't get words out yet,I was still sobbing when the guys put me on the couch so Tommy could fully hug me and hold me in his arms. Which was nice because I felt so cold...so alone....so cold and alone. After at least 15 minutes,when my crying had stopped a little,Tommy looked at me and brushed some strands of hair off my face "You wanna talk about it?" he asked softly "What exactly is 'it'?" Nikki asked rudely,half laughing. I burst into tears again "Fuck Nikki,look what you did,she was just starting to calm down!" Tommy said angrily,after 10 minutes I managed to choke out "My grandpa...is dead," Tommy and everyone else all let out sympathetic sighs and phrases all at once and suddenly everyone was there comforting me. Even Nikki who said "Man,that sucks like hell,". After an hour of pretty much just that,Tommy announced "I have an idea!" but then he quieted down "Oh...dude,do you wanna hear it?" he asked me,I nodded "How about...we clean Frankie up and then...this is just an idea...and awesome one at that...how about we hit up all the tat shops and the piercing shops and then we go to the bars or something like that?" Tommy suggested,of course Randii was the first one to speak up "Seriously? That's all you can think about? Partying? Getting drunk? My best friend is seriously grieving and all you can think about is-" I cut her off "Randii...I wanna do Tommy's thing," I said hoarsely "Oh. Okay. Sorry." she said,backing down. "Well then we need to get you cleaned up then!" Tommy said as he got up from the couch and then picked me up bridal style "Where's the bathroom?" he asked, I pointed in the direction of it and he found it right off the bat. He sat me on the floor where I was leaning on the bathtub,then he took a washcloth,got it wet and put soap on it. That might sound really nice,but he did it really sloppily and in what I guess was typical Tommy fashion. He washed my face off and scrubbed it hard. When he was done he said "Well,you probably wanna take a shower or something?" he asked "Yeah...why don't you help me with that?" I said with a faint smile that was supposed to be sexy...well as sexy as I could get seeing as I was like a rag doll slouched in a corner. Tommy put his hands on my hips and then grabbed onto my tee shirt and started to pull it up..."Wait,Tommy no,I feel uncomfortable...I'm sorry," I said as I grabbed his hand "Oh that's okay,I understand," Tommy said as he nodded and took his hands away "You okay?" he asked, I shook my head 'no',he patted me on the leg "I'll be in the living room," and then he got up and left. I pulled myself up and took off my clothes and stepped in the shower. I just stood there for a while,letting the water run over me. I finally cleaned myself off and the stepped out. I wrapped a towel around myself and went to my room. Then I just sat on the bed for a while,depressed,water dripping on me from my hair. After a while there was a knock,I lifted up my head "Who is it?" I called sadly "It's Nikki, you ready yet?" I heard Nikki's drag-queen-ish voice say. I sighed deeply "No...but I'll be there soon," I heard Nikki walk away. I solemnly got up and went to my closet,as I was getting dressed I remembered something. The nurse said I could see Steve before they took him away. I usually didn't like seeing dead people but this was different. I opened my door "Hey guys!" I called,I heard various 'yeahs' and a grunt (probably from Mick) "I...I wanna go see my grandpa for one last time at the hospital," Tommy came running in "Oh sure baby! Whatever it takes to get ya through this," I smiled weakly "Thanks," he nodded and then went back to the living room where I heard him announce we were going to the hospital. Everyone said ok except for Nikki who groaned loudly,I heard Tommy tell him to 'Shut the fuck up,' I went to my closet,I decided to wear something somber and dark. I wore my black corduroy pants,a black spaghetti top,my black leather jacket,and my black ballet flats. I wore my wavy black hair down. I walked out of my room and into the living room. Everyone was silent when we left,got in my car,and the whole way there. We walked into the hospital and I went to the receptionist "Uh yeah I'm Frankie Smith...my grandpa Steven just died...um,I was told I could see him before they uh..." I said awkwardly,the receptionist put on a huge fake smile and said "Yes he's in room 28,and I'm so sorry for your loss," I nodded and we all went there,I went in first and just wanted to die. He looked so frail and weak and old. I started quietly sobbing. Tommy and Nikki came in and stood next to me,they were both squeezing my shoulders. "Could I be alone, just for a second?" Tommy and Nikki nodded and left. I looked at my grandpa for a while before starting to talk even though he couldn't hear me,but maybe he did in heaven. "I'm sorry,I'm so so sorry,I...I...should've came...I should've came and saw you,I was right here in L.A. for 2 months! I could've seen you,I could've told you I was here. I'm sorry,I wish I would've spent more time with you. I wish I could've known you better. I love you,and I'll ALWAYS remember you. And I'm gonna try to be at least half the person you were. Goodbye...for the last time," and with that I got up and walked out,only looking back one last time.
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