FicWad

Somewhere below the sea, Slash, the king of the Merpeople was attempting to conduct a meeting of some of his highest officials. It was going to be easily the most important meeting they'd ever had, in the history of merpeople, but he was unable to start, because nobody was sitting down and shutting the fuck up. He sighed with a facepalm.

Ronnie Radke and Craig Mabbit were having another screaming match and utilizing more profanity than a navy full of sailors. On second thought, make that a Navy full of sailors. Mikey Way was in the corner, poking at an electric eel with a fork. The poor eel was looking positively traumatized. Gerard, the elder Way brother, and Frank Iero were in a rather compromising situation. CC was eating the seaweed growing around the room, uncaring that it'd probably give him indigestion or something. Sandra Alva had her bum firmly planted in a chair, her glasses in place as usual. Slash could bet anything that she was probably giving the people around her causing so much chaos some seriously disapproving looks.

Tia Harribel mirrored her position, opposite, sans sun-glasses, so you could clearly see the disapproving looks that she was giving the (mostly male) idiots surrounding her. However, where she lacked the sunglasses she had, she did have a harassing Nnoitra floating around, perving like the scrawny overgrown spoon-shaped pervert that he was. Ashley Purdy was assisting the Perving Spoon very well. In fact, if you could read their minds at that exact moment, there would only be one word between the two of them. BEWBS!

Slash sighed. This was fucking hopeless. Even as he looked on, Ylfordt Grantz started dancing like a fish out of water to the point that Slash wanted to actually throw him out of the water to see if he would start ballroom dancing, while his brother, Szayel, attempted to dissect Dahvie Vanity's overdone hair, and Grimmjow started to pick on the damn near mute Jinnx. Turning around, he caught sight of a wisp of a young merman, with somewhat voluminous black hair. Hell, if you didn't know better, you'd assume he was a mermaid! "Andy, yeah?" Slash asked. He received a nod. This might be helpful, because if he remembered right, Andy could be loud when he wanted. "A little help here?" Slash asked, gesturing at the surrounding chaos.

Andy nodded, before opening his mouth and letting out a huge roar, a la 'Perfect Weapon' intro. Even when everyone had stopped what they were doing and stared, the roar went on. Nnoitra decided to roar back, while Szayel said, "Who would've thought such a loud roar could come from something that small? I must dissect it!"

After about 20 seconds of the roar, it ended. Everyone was still in shock. "Thanks kid." Slash said, patting the rather bemused Andy on the shoulder. "No probs." The skinny creature said in a quiet voice.

"Now will everyone please shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down?"

Even when complying, they carried out what they were doing. Slash was about to lose his motherfucking cool. "I need your complete fuckin' attention! Frank get off Gerard, Gerard get your hands off his ass, Mikey let go of that fucking eel, it looks fuckin' traumatized, Grimmjow, leave Jinnx alone, CC, spit out that fucking seaweed, it just got planted, and it's gonna give you indigestion, Craig and Ronnie, keep cursing and flipping each other off, I'm gluing your hands to your tongues..."

Gerard and Frank parted rather reluctantly, so that it was now clearly visible to onlookers that there was more than a writhing mass of limbs, Mikey sadly let go of the eel, which swam away, a terrified look on it's face, as fast as it could, Grimmjow muttered, "Ima fuckin' get ya!" in the general direction of Jinnx, who merely opened his mouth, overwhelming Grimmjow and the surrounding area with his stink breath, CC yelled back, "But it's fuckin' delicious!" through a mouthful of seaweed, and Craig and Ronnie settled for exchanging angry glares.

Even so, after a few minutes, Slash realized that there was still more to fix before he could actually get down to business. "Szayel, Dahvie's hair isn't alive, leave it the fuck alone ("But it looks alive!"), Purdy and... uh.... Spoon, you can perv on your own fucking time("But..." Ashley started. "Bewbs!" Nnoitra finished), Ylfordt, stop fucking dancing, you're not a fucking fish outta water, you're fucking scaring me (Here, Ylfordt struck a complete diva pose, before strutting off), Aizen shut the fuck up about your plan, nobody gives a fuck ("says you!"), Ray there's something alive in your hair ("Again?" "Yes." "Dammit.") Bob, stop looking at Davey like that ("But he insulted Mr. Bean!"), Jade, stop twitching, Yumichika, stop the fucking preening ("But I must always look beautiful!"), no, Bob, I don't give a fuck if he insulted Mr. Bean, stop choking him, Byakuya, what the fuck did I just tell Yumichika, no I don't care if you're some fuckin' Noble!"

This morning, Slash had hoped that it'd be a relatively painless meeting. Obviously it wouldn't be.