Categories > Anime/Manga > Full Metal Alchemist > The Heroes of Amestris
Wasting no time, Mustang dragged himself off the bed. His knees nearly buckled under his weight, but he grit his teeth in determination and managed to enter the hallway. He carefully watched his feet to avoid falling. In his peripheral vision he noticed that his clothes were not the same as what he last remembered wearing. They weren’t his, and they showed no trace of the attack that had seized him previously.
Ed…
The fact that Edward had cared enough for him to change his sodden clothing and then sleep by his side made Roy even more resolute to leave him behind. The thought of causing Ed any more trouble or pain was too much to bear. Returning his concentration to his feet, he made his way down the wooden steps. Finally reaching his shoes he became conscious of the fact that his suitcase remained upstairs, solitary in the abandoned bedroom.
Leave it. No object or belonging was valuable enough to subjugate him to the humiliation of struggling up the stairs once more.
He turned the knob and pushed the door open. The sun was setting, and Edward was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, he realized that going to the train station right now was completely out of the question. Not only was the sky growing darker, but he had spent most of his energy just to reach the front door. However the idea of staying another moment in Ed’s home was nauseating. Many years had passed since the last time he invited himself into Pinako’s home, but it was now his only option.
As he gingerly picked his way down the slope and onto the road in the dwindling sunlight, his mind wandered back to before he lost consciousness. The memories were muddled, but his brain latched onto a particular moment. He had nearly died, and then something had happened. His brow furrowed. A certain thing had happened that he couldn’t name. He continued walking, analyzing this fleeting knowledge.
What was it? Something pulled me back.
Mustang continued on, his thoughts far from where his feet currently travelled. In shock, he came to a halt. He knew what it was.
The pain. The pain of knowing he would be left with her. I felt so… so…
/]
[/Angry.
He leaned against a tree, covering his face with his hands. A new wave of disgust washed over him, and he did nothing to stop it. It was anger. It was anger that had revived him, anger that had pulled his soul back from the brink of death.
What kind of monster continues to live out of fury? Out of bitterness?
Roy crouched, unable to stand anymore. Bracing himself on the tree, he lowered himself completely to the packed ground. It no longer mattered if he had a place to stay. Dying in the cold darkness under a withered tree seemed just as fitting an end as anything else. The wind began to blow, molesting the leaves and somewhat drowning out the hateful thoughts in his ears. The dreariness was almost peaceful. Mustang closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree, allowing himself to be swallowed in the approaching storm.
At first it drizzled, splashing small droplets onto his upturned face. Then with no further ado the clouds opened and it poured. There Roy sat, unflinching. The thunder and wind, although not overpowering, were like music to him. He nearly forgot what had made him so hopeless. He nearly forgot he was even alive. It felt beautiful to him to just sit in the rain and be. The thought was funny to him. Rain had always been his enemy until this moment, washing away at the impurities of his soul.
Approaching rhythmic vibrations coursing through the ground did nothing to startle him. Neither did a man’s voice nor the sensation of being lifted off the ground faze him. He simply existed, refusing to be pulled out of his reverie.
Eventually his mind wandered back to reality, registering the fact that he was again where he had started: Edward’s house. Bolting upright, he fell backwards off of someone’s back and landed hard on the ground. The rain had waned, only misting now. The person flipped around, gasping for air and ready to confront the man he had carried back to his home.
“Are you… STUPID?!” Edward exclaimed, breathing heavily.
Mustang simply sat there staring at him then looked elsewhere to avoid his gaze. Suddenly Edward’s fist connected to his face, knocking Roy sideways into the mud. Stunned, he lied there as Ed stood over him angrily.
“What the hell were you thinking?! Only an idiot would act like you have!” Edward glared down at him and then turned his back. Calmly, he said, “Let’s go inside.”
Roy watched Edward enter the house and after a few moments he decided to follow. Just as he entered the living room Ed threw a towel his way, already in the process of drying off his yellow hair. The towel hit him square in the chest, which was fortunate because he didn’t think he was capable of the coordination.
Looking down at the towel, he asked, “How did you find me?”
Edward gave him an annoyed look. “You were sitting half-alive in the middle of the damn road. I was on my way back from my mother’s grave when I saw you.” He paused. “What were you thinking?”
Mustang remained silent, refusing to answer. He simply stood there, dripping onto the floor and staring at the towel in his hands.
“Mustang!”
“I’m sick.” His voice betrayed no emotion whatsoever. The closest place to sit was on the stairs, so that is where he went. Lowering himself onto the step, he couldn’t help but wonder what Ed was thinking; if Ed was disgusted with him, hated him. Eyes glued to the towel, he reached up to gingerly touch his cheek and winced at the pain.
How could he not hate me after all I’ve done? This shame… He can see it. He can see everything.
The towel he had been using as his escape from Edward’s eyes disappeared from his hands. Edward kneeled before him, raising the towel to rub at the exposed skin of Roy’s neck and face. He then placed the towel atop his head, rubbing his hair dry and mercifully covering the older man’s face.
“Tell me,” Edward urged gently.
With his face concealed, Roy finally conceded to say it. “I’ve… developed a heart condition.” The words tasted like acid in his mouth and he grimaced. “I had a heart attack a few weeks ago in the office. The doctor was unable to tell me why my heart is so…” he choked on the word. “Weak.” Edward stopped working the towel over his hair, letting it drape to still cover his shame as he spoke. Mustang cleared his throat. “But it looks like you won’t have to pay me back the 520 cens that you borrowed after all. I was forced into an early retirement.” His voice broke as the tears escaped his eyes, head still bowed.
Edward placed his arms around his head, pulling him into his chest. Roy let out a sob, wrapping his arms around his waist and returning the embrace. There on the steps they stayed, Edward kneeled before Mustang’s hunched body with their arms around each other until Roy quieted.
Ed pulled away and tenderly removed the towel from his head. His dark eyes fluttered over Edward’s lips and rested on the golden eyes inches from his.
“It’s ok. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with you.” Edward stated. “You’re still strong. You just have to allow yourself to believe that.” He placed a hand on Roy’s chest, over his ailing heart. “This may slow you down, but you’re still one of the strongest people I know.”
Mustang could not believe what he was hearing. Not only did Edward not hate him, he still respected him. He still respected and cared for the sick wretch of a man before him.
“Edward… Thank you.”
Ed…
The fact that Edward had cared enough for him to change his sodden clothing and then sleep by his side made Roy even more resolute to leave him behind. The thought of causing Ed any more trouble or pain was too much to bear. Returning his concentration to his feet, he made his way down the wooden steps. Finally reaching his shoes he became conscious of the fact that his suitcase remained upstairs, solitary in the abandoned bedroom.
Leave it. No object or belonging was valuable enough to subjugate him to the humiliation of struggling up the stairs once more.
He turned the knob and pushed the door open. The sun was setting, and Edward was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, he realized that going to the train station right now was completely out of the question. Not only was the sky growing darker, but he had spent most of his energy just to reach the front door. However the idea of staying another moment in Ed’s home was nauseating. Many years had passed since the last time he invited himself into Pinako’s home, but it was now his only option.
As he gingerly picked his way down the slope and onto the road in the dwindling sunlight, his mind wandered back to before he lost consciousness. The memories were muddled, but his brain latched onto a particular moment. He had nearly died, and then something had happened. His brow furrowed. A certain thing had happened that he couldn’t name. He continued walking, analyzing this fleeting knowledge.
What was it? Something pulled me back.
Mustang continued on, his thoughts far from where his feet currently travelled. In shock, he came to a halt. He knew what it was.
The pain. The pain of knowing he would be left with her. I felt so… so…
/]
[/Angry.
He leaned against a tree, covering his face with his hands. A new wave of disgust washed over him, and he did nothing to stop it. It was anger. It was anger that had revived him, anger that had pulled his soul back from the brink of death.
What kind of monster continues to live out of fury? Out of bitterness?
Roy crouched, unable to stand anymore. Bracing himself on the tree, he lowered himself completely to the packed ground. It no longer mattered if he had a place to stay. Dying in the cold darkness under a withered tree seemed just as fitting an end as anything else. The wind began to blow, molesting the leaves and somewhat drowning out the hateful thoughts in his ears. The dreariness was almost peaceful. Mustang closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree, allowing himself to be swallowed in the approaching storm.
At first it drizzled, splashing small droplets onto his upturned face. Then with no further ado the clouds opened and it poured. There Roy sat, unflinching. The thunder and wind, although not overpowering, were like music to him. He nearly forgot what had made him so hopeless. He nearly forgot he was even alive. It felt beautiful to him to just sit in the rain and be. The thought was funny to him. Rain had always been his enemy until this moment, washing away at the impurities of his soul.
Approaching rhythmic vibrations coursing through the ground did nothing to startle him. Neither did a man’s voice nor the sensation of being lifted off the ground faze him. He simply existed, refusing to be pulled out of his reverie.
Eventually his mind wandered back to reality, registering the fact that he was again where he had started: Edward’s house. Bolting upright, he fell backwards off of someone’s back and landed hard on the ground. The rain had waned, only misting now. The person flipped around, gasping for air and ready to confront the man he had carried back to his home.
“Are you… STUPID?!” Edward exclaimed, breathing heavily.
Mustang simply sat there staring at him then looked elsewhere to avoid his gaze. Suddenly Edward’s fist connected to his face, knocking Roy sideways into the mud. Stunned, he lied there as Ed stood over him angrily.
“What the hell were you thinking?! Only an idiot would act like you have!” Edward glared down at him and then turned his back. Calmly, he said, “Let’s go inside.”
Roy watched Edward enter the house and after a few moments he decided to follow. Just as he entered the living room Ed threw a towel his way, already in the process of drying off his yellow hair. The towel hit him square in the chest, which was fortunate because he didn’t think he was capable of the coordination.
Looking down at the towel, he asked, “How did you find me?”
Edward gave him an annoyed look. “You were sitting half-alive in the middle of the damn road. I was on my way back from my mother’s grave when I saw you.” He paused. “What were you thinking?”
Mustang remained silent, refusing to answer. He simply stood there, dripping onto the floor and staring at the towel in his hands.
“Mustang!”
“I’m sick.” His voice betrayed no emotion whatsoever. The closest place to sit was on the stairs, so that is where he went. Lowering himself onto the step, he couldn’t help but wonder what Ed was thinking; if Ed was disgusted with him, hated him. Eyes glued to the towel, he reached up to gingerly touch his cheek and winced at the pain.
How could he not hate me after all I’ve done? This shame… He can see it. He can see everything.
The towel he had been using as his escape from Edward’s eyes disappeared from his hands. Edward kneeled before him, raising the towel to rub at the exposed skin of Roy’s neck and face. He then placed the towel atop his head, rubbing his hair dry and mercifully covering the older man’s face.
“Tell me,” Edward urged gently.
With his face concealed, Roy finally conceded to say it. “I’ve… developed a heart condition.” The words tasted like acid in his mouth and he grimaced. “I had a heart attack a few weeks ago in the office. The doctor was unable to tell me why my heart is so…” he choked on the word. “Weak.” Edward stopped working the towel over his hair, letting it drape to still cover his shame as he spoke. Mustang cleared his throat. “But it looks like you won’t have to pay me back the 520 cens that you borrowed after all. I was forced into an early retirement.” His voice broke as the tears escaped his eyes, head still bowed.
Edward placed his arms around his head, pulling him into his chest. Roy let out a sob, wrapping his arms around his waist and returning the embrace. There on the steps they stayed, Edward kneeled before Mustang’s hunched body with their arms around each other until Roy quieted.
Ed pulled away and tenderly removed the towel from his head. His dark eyes fluttered over Edward’s lips and rested on the golden eyes inches from his.
“It’s ok. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with you.” Edward stated. “You’re still strong. You just have to allow yourself to believe that.” He placed a hand on Roy’s chest, over his ailing heart. “This may slow you down, but you’re still one of the strongest people I know.”
Mustang could not believe what he was hearing. Not only did Edward not hate him, he still respected him. He still respected and cared for the sick wretch of a man before him.
“Edward… Thank you.”
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