FicWad

Gerard sat in his living room, remembering when Courtney was there. She always made the place more lively. Everything was boring without her, she made it better there. Without her, Gerard was... pointless. Nothing. Without her, he was just a man who let himself fall into depression over a girl seven years younger than him.

Whenever the thought rang into his mind, he couldn't help but feel like nothing he did with Courtney was a mistake. He truly loved her, and he didn't regret any second they spent together. He just wished he could've seen her more before this entire situation.

He may never get the chance to again. She was moving to California, everything he had tried to make work was hopeless. There wasn't anything he even wanted to live for anymore. He just... couldn't even feel alive anymore.

There was a knock on the front door, and he decided it was high time he at least got off the new couch. He opened the door, seeing a hopeful Frank in the doorway. "Hey, Gee. Mikey and I were going to the bar later, and Mikey wanted to know if you could come, too," he said.

Of course Gerard thought. After everything, he could only count on his brother to care about him. He felt ridiculous. He might as well agree. It was better than drowning himself in self pity. He didn't do anything but nod, he didn't know if he could even talk anymore. All he knew was that he needed to get him mind off of Courtney, and the first thing he would do to start would be getting drunk.

~x~

Courtney was pulling all of her clothes out of her closet and shoving them into multiple suitcases. "This is why I wanted to pack a few months ago. You waited until we have five days left! Why did you do that? You could be done by now!" Kelly wouldn't stop bugging her about how she waited until the last minute to pack.

"At least I'm packing, Kelly," Courtney reasoned. "Can you sit on that suitcase?" she asked, pointing to the larger of the five she had. "I can't zip it unless there's heavy weight on top," she explained. Kelly nodded, bouncing onto the suitcase. Courtney chuckled, finding the zipper, pulling it all the way around and telling her she could get off.

"Courtney, are you still... upset?" Kelly asked, beginning to feel nervous. "I'm sorry," she said, "I... shouldn't have brought it up."

Courtney smiled, "It's fine. Yeah, I'm still a bit upset, but... I can deal with it. I'll be able to survive," she said, zipping her last suitcase. "And, I'm finished packing. Yes!" she cheered, her arms going up in victory. "But, Kelly, I'm just fine. I'm happy, and that's all that really matters to be right now."

"Good. I don't want you crying about how much you miss Gerard once we're in California," she said, exiting Courtney's room without another word. Courtney just smiled, crossed her arms, and closed the door behind her friend, calling out, "Some friend you are, then," jokingly in the process.

~x~

Gerard stumbled into his house, Mikey and Frank holding him up by both sides to keep him sturdy. Throughout the night, he drank the most, and they were surprised he was still awake. Though, he might not have been. It didn't exactly seem like he was anymore.

They placed him on his bed, Mikey being the first to speak, "We should get out of here," he suggested, already heading for the door. "Gerard's a mess when he's got a hangover, I can't even imagine now. Let's just go before he wakes up," he dragged Frank to his car, dropped him off, and then drove to his home.

Honestly, he'd never been more worried about Gerard. He hadn't ever been so upset before. He didn't even know what was causing him to be so upset, he just knew it couldn't be good. He was becoming sickeningly skinny, he always looked deprived of sleep, and most of all, even the way he talked was different – if you could get him to talk at all.

Gerard was the complete opposite of what he use to be. Everything he did frightened Mikey in some way, because everything he did could harm him. Whenever he was alone in his house, Mikey was terrified. Worry consumed him, worrying over his brother never seemed like something that would happen to him. Gerard was always so well-put together, and he was never in such bad shape.

~x~

Courtney couldn't get to sleep, as hard as he tried. For some reason, Gerard was the only thing on her mind. For the first time in what felt like forever, thinking over what had happened between them made her hurt. It made her spill tears, so loudly that Kelly came in to check on her at one point.

She couldn't get him out of her mind. The way he looked at her, the way he touched her, the way he made love to her, they way he kissed her or held her. Everything she reminisced in her mind made her upset. No matter how hard she tried, she wouldn't ever be able to forget him. But, of course, it was pointless. She was going to California, and she'd never see Gerard again. Whether she liked it or not, that was her future.