Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Drowning Lessons
Gerard was dead to the outside world. He was breathing faintly, the sketchbook in his arms, the calligraphy tucked neatly inside. He was smiling, weakly, the cigarette held loosely in one hand and the lighter in the other. The cavern was pitch black, and if Gerard was conscious, he wouldn't be able to see a thing regardless. Frank opened the door. He moved around the room for a while before noticing the dark smoke leaking from the cupboard. He shook his head and growled.
"For fucks sake," He grumbled, ripping the plank away and pulling Gerard out of the cavern, laying him on the bed. He turned to Reynolds.
"Go get the Doctor." Reynolds nodded, turning swiftly and leaving out of the door. The sketchbook, lighter and cigarettes fell from Gerard's palms and hit the floor with a clatter.
Frank sighed, taking Gerard's hand, sitting beside him.
"C'mon wake up." He swallowed, breathing shakily.
The smile that rested on Gerard's lips only made Frank feel worse; the fact that obviously, he had been happy whilst he suffocated. Reynolds returned with the Doctors, who walked over briskly. Frank sighed, squeezing Gerard's hand.
"C'mon, please." He begged, sniffing.
"Did he smoke himself out again?" One of the Doctor's sighed. The other inspected him, listening to Gerard's scarce breathing.
"He must have started around 6pm last night.." Frank sobbed, holding Gerard's hand, gazing at him.
"Okay, alright," The Doctor's nodded to one another. "Frank, we need you to stay right here, and be calm. Don't try to move him, don't try anything, okay?" Frank stopped crying, rubbing his eyes..
The Doctor's left abruptly, Reynolds staying put. Gerard's breathing slowed down a little but his mouth opened very slightly. Frank fidgeted slightly, sighing.
"Why? Gerard, why?" He whispered.
"He's never done it like this before.." Reynolds said, quietly, leaning against the bed. "Never seen it so bad." Frank exhaled.
"I know, I've stopped him doing this before." He shook his head softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"He doesn't do it out of sadness, you know." Reynolds spoke, softly.
"Why does he do it?" Frank asked.
"To be happy. To draw. To escape the noise, for just a bit." She said, sadly. "Have you seen his drawings? Some of them-" She said, picking up the sketchbook. "You can just tell, that he was smoking out when he drew them." She flicked through, nodding at each one she recognized.
"He keeps drawing me, and I don't know what it means." Frank shrugged, gazing at the older boy, seeing his eyes flicker.
"He probably thinks you have an interesting dynamic." She nodded, watching Gerard's fingers droop. "That's what he looks in people for." Frank kept a gentle grasp on his hand, smiling lovingly at him.
"I really like him, I think it could be something else, but I could never say." He sighed.
"I am yet to ask him, how he feels," She sighed, softly. "Obviously he.. Did some things before I could get to him.."
"I know," Frank sniffed, smiling softly as Gerard opened his eyes. Gerard's thick lashed eyes were glassy as he stared about him. He couldn't really feel much and breathing was still hard but he could see people, which was a good sign. Frank sniffed, keeping hold of his hand, turning to Reynolds.
"I can't explain how scared I am,"
"He's scared too, he just doesn't show it." She said softly, as Gerard gazed upwards, barely listening to anything, his ears filled with dense, white noise.
"Can the Doctors hurry up?" Frank asked softly, pressing another kiss to his cheek.
"They're coming." She nodded.
After a few minutes the Doctor's returned, moving Frank out of the way. The smaller, yet stronger built Doctor hunched Gerard carefully over his shoulder. Gerard shut his eyes and moved limply, letting his arms and legs dangle. Frank sniffed, just sitting at the desk, watching Gerard being moved and manipulated, he followed behind. Gerard was placed onto a stretcher outside, crude breathing tubes attached to him before they began to travel.
"Frank, you can stay if you wish," They reminded him.
"Yes, please." Frank begged, following beside the moving hospital bed.
They pulled into the intensive care part of the infirmary and started their work, wiring him to machines and placing a mask over his face that could clear his lungs. Gerard continued to stare vacantly into the distance. Frank sat in the chair, in the corner of the room, out of the way. He fidgeted, sighing, worrying.The Doctors left, including Reynolds, who nodded appreciatively to him, before exiting. Gerard blinked occasionally, gazing absently forward, at nothing in particular. Frank pulled his chair closer to the bed, taking Gerard's hand, which didn't have a drip in. Gerard didn't create an audible response, but he blinked, moving his fingers slightly, as much as he could. Frank placed both of his hands, around Gerard's.
"It's okay," He sighed. Gerard nodded weakly, continuing to flutter his fingers as a crude form of communication. He shrugged a shoulder and breathed in deeply, through the mask that rested on his face. Frank sniffed.
"I hate seeing you like this." He sighed, shaking his head softly. Gerard tightened his finger softly and breathed, his mouth opening slightly. He opened his eyes and flicked his gaze to Frank, slowly.
"I care about you, too much." Frank smiled softly, his cheeks going light scarlet. Gerard sniffed, shutting his eyes and biting down on his lip. He wanted to reciprocate; he wanted to tell Frank everything but - no, he couldn't. Instead, he concentrated on making his hands tighten.
"Don't cry," Frank sighed softly, stroking the back of Gerard's hand, "I'm not angry at you, or annoyed, I can understand why you do it. It just scares me a little," He shrugged. Gerard breathed in shakily, finding it hard to stop tears from falling. He couldn't speak with the mask on, in fact, he couldn't speak regardless, but he supposed he needed it. He didn't want to scare Frank, he thought.. He thought he would be knocked out until morning and then he'd go and visit him, he had no idea that any of it would escalate to this kind of level. Frank smiled softly, keeping hold of his hand, gently.
"Aw, don't cry, honestly." He sighed softly, running a hand through Gerard's hair, comforting him. Frank's words only made Gerard cry more, and the fact that he couldn't even wipe them away or rub his eyes made it worse. His vision was blurry and he just wanted to move, but it was too hard. Frank wiped his cheeks, as close the mask as he could, kissing his temple. Gerard watched Frank with begging eyes, his hand fluttering as he tried to shrug his shoulders or move his head. He made a small noise of frustration and cried a little harder.
"You'll be better soon, I promise, you'll be back to normal tomorrow morning," Frank reassured, sitting back in the chair. Gerard nodded softly, letting more tears drip out and making a small, wailing noise. He tried to turn to look at Frank better, but failed, miserably.
"Do you want me to go?" Frank asked, softly. Gerard wanted to shake his head, to shout, to drag Frank into the hospital bed with him and curl up on his chest, but he couldn't do any of that. He nodded reluctantly, hoping it didn't hurt Frank's feelings too much, considering he didn't really mean it.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning," Frank smiled softly, feeling a little hurt as he walked out of the room. As soon as Frank was gone, Gerard let out a sharp sob; for the first time in his life, Gerard had noticed, that in the dark room, his only accompaniment being the sound of his breathing machine, he was incredibly, and utterly, /alone/.
"For fucks sake," He grumbled, ripping the plank away and pulling Gerard out of the cavern, laying him on the bed. He turned to Reynolds.
"Go get the Doctor." Reynolds nodded, turning swiftly and leaving out of the door. The sketchbook, lighter and cigarettes fell from Gerard's palms and hit the floor with a clatter.
Frank sighed, taking Gerard's hand, sitting beside him.
"C'mon wake up." He swallowed, breathing shakily.
The smile that rested on Gerard's lips only made Frank feel worse; the fact that obviously, he had been happy whilst he suffocated. Reynolds returned with the Doctors, who walked over briskly. Frank sighed, squeezing Gerard's hand.
"C'mon, please." He begged, sniffing.
"Did he smoke himself out again?" One of the Doctor's sighed. The other inspected him, listening to Gerard's scarce breathing.
"He must have started around 6pm last night.." Frank sobbed, holding Gerard's hand, gazing at him.
"Okay, alright," The Doctor's nodded to one another. "Frank, we need you to stay right here, and be calm. Don't try to move him, don't try anything, okay?" Frank stopped crying, rubbing his eyes..
The Doctor's left abruptly, Reynolds staying put. Gerard's breathing slowed down a little but his mouth opened very slightly. Frank fidgeted slightly, sighing.
"Why? Gerard, why?" He whispered.
"He's never done it like this before.." Reynolds said, quietly, leaning against the bed. "Never seen it so bad." Frank exhaled.
"I know, I've stopped him doing this before." He shook his head softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"He doesn't do it out of sadness, you know." Reynolds spoke, softly.
"Why does he do it?" Frank asked.
"To be happy. To draw. To escape the noise, for just a bit." She said, sadly. "Have you seen his drawings? Some of them-" She said, picking up the sketchbook. "You can just tell, that he was smoking out when he drew them." She flicked through, nodding at each one she recognized.
"He keeps drawing me, and I don't know what it means." Frank shrugged, gazing at the older boy, seeing his eyes flicker.
"He probably thinks you have an interesting dynamic." She nodded, watching Gerard's fingers droop. "That's what he looks in people for." Frank kept a gentle grasp on his hand, smiling lovingly at him.
"I really like him, I think it could be something else, but I could never say." He sighed.
"I am yet to ask him, how he feels," She sighed, softly. "Obviously he.. Did some things before I could get to him.."
"I know," Frank sniffed, smiling softly as Gerard opened his eyes. Gerard's thick lashed eyes were glassy as he stared about him. He couldn't really feel much and breathing was still hard but he could see people, which was a good sign. Frank sniffed, keeping hold of his hand, turning to Reynolds.
"I can't explain how scared I am,"
"He's scared too, he just doesn't show it." She said softly, as Gerard gazed upwards, barely listening to anything, his ears filled with dense, white noise.
"Can the Doctors hurry up?" Frank asked softly, pressing another kiss to his cheek.
"They're coming." She nodded.
After a few minutes the Doctor's returned, moving Frank out of the way. The smaller, yet stronger built Doctor hunched Gerard carefully over his shoulder. Gerard shut his eyes and moved limply, letting his arms and legs dangle. Frank sniffed, just sitting at the desk, watching Gerard being moved and manipulated, he followed behind. Gerard was placed onto a stretcher outside, crude breathing tubes attached to him before they began to travel.
"Frank, you can stay if you wish," They reminded him.
"Yes, please." Frank begged, following beside the moving hospital bed.
They pulled into the intensive care part of the infirmary and started their work, wiring him to machines and placing a mask over his face that could clear his lungs. Gerard continued to stare vacantly into the distance. Frank sat in the chair, in the corner of the room, out of the way. He fidgeted, sighing, worrying.The Doctors left, including Reynolds, who nodded appreciatively to him, before exiting. Gerard blinked occasionally, gazing absently forward, at nothing in particular. Frank pulled his chair closer to the bed, taking Gerard's hand, which didn't have a drip in. Gerard didn't create an audible response, but he blinked, moving his fingers slightly, as much as he could. Frank placed both of his hands, around Gerard's.
"It's okay," He sighed. Gerard nodded weakly, continuing to flutter his fingers as a crude form of communication. He shrugged a shoulder and breathed in deeply, through the mask that rested on his face. Frank sniffed.
"I hate seeing you like this." He sighed, shaking his head softly. Gerard tightened his finger softly and breathed, his mouth opening slightly. He opened his eyes and flicked his gaze to Frank, slowly.
"I care about you, too much." Frank smiled softly, his cheeks going light scarlet. Gerard sniffed, shutting his eyes and biting down on his lip. He wanted to reciprocate; he wanted to tell Frank everything but - no, he couldn't. Instead, he concentrated on making his hands tighten.
"Don't cry," Frank sighed softly, stroking the back of Gerard's hand, "I'm not angry at you, or annoyed, I can understand why you do it. It just scares me a little," He shrugged. Gerard breathed in shakily, finding it hard to stop tears from falling. He couldn't speak with the mask on, in fact, he couldn't speak regardless, but he supposed he needed it. He didn't want to scare Frank, he thought.. He thought he would be knocked out until morning and then he'd go and visit him, he had no idea that any of it would escalate to this kind of level. Frank smiled softly, keeping hold of his hand, gently.
"Aw, don't cry, honestly." He sighed softly, running a hand through Gerard's hair, comforting him. Frank's words only made Gerard cry more, and the fact that he couldn't even wipe them away or rub his eyes made it worse. His vision was blurry and he just wanted to move, but it was too hard. Frank wiped his cheeks, as close the mask as he could, kissing his temple. Gerard watched Frank with begging eyes, his hand fluttering as he tried to shrug his shoulders or move his head. He made a small noise of frustration and cried a little harder.
"You'll be better soon, I promise, you'll be back to normal tomorrow morning," Frank reassured, sitting back in the chair. Gerard nodded softly, letting more tears drip out and making a small, wailing noise. He tried to turn to look at Frank better, but failed, miserably.
"Do you want me to go?" Frank asked, softly. Gerard wanted to shake his head, to shout, to drag Frank into the hospital bed with him and curl up on his chest, but he couldn't do any of that. He nodded reluctantly, hoping it didn't hurt Frank's feelings too much, considering he didn't really mean it.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning," Frank smiled softly, feeling a little hurt as he walked out of the room. As soon as Frank was gone, Gerard let out a sharp sob; for the first time in his life, Gerard had noticed, that in the dark room, his only accompaniment being the sound of his breathing machine, he was incredibly, and utterly, /alone/.
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