Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Less Than Perfect
Parents and thier friends
1 reviewWhat would happen if you were foreced to marry your worst enemy and you found out something about your past that you could have lived with out? Hermione Granger is about to find out.
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Less Than Perfect
(#) Faol 2005-06-17
Erm. To be blunt, this isn't great. Hermione/Draco can be pulled off well, but it takes a great deal of time, writing ability and a strong plot. To concentrate on the first chapter, your plot is cliched and rather unbelievable, you've Sued!Hermione and it's peppered with misspellings, grammatical and canon errors. I must also point out that in the first paragraph when you call it a 'cell' phone, it would be called a mobile phone in England. And when you have her call her mother 'mom' she should be calling her 'mum'.
I can't pass comment on your prowess as a writer as you haven't given yourself a very good vessel in which to display it. I'd reccomend that you scrap this story and take the time to think through the logistics of a relationship between Draco and Hermione and come with a more original plot. Getting a beta would probably also help, or just getting your friend to read through it a few times before you post it just to weed out any spelling mistakes or mistakes like the ones I pointed out above.
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