FicWad

After Ayasha ate dinner they started towards the stairs leading to the attic. Suddenly she stopped. “Do we want another campfire? I mean if we do I need to go outside and get more wood.”

As much as he wanted another campfire just the thought of her leaving the house was overwhelming. If he was growing weaker with her here how would he feel if she left?

Ayasha was watching him closely. “Gee, what’s wrong?”

He tried to smile, “Oh nothing. Sure we don’t have enough wood up there?"

She realized what was wrong. “Hey, you can stand at the backdoor and watch me. I’ll never be out of your sight.”

“Yeah, okay.” He said softly hating how nervous he felt.

A suddenly rumble of thunder shook the small house. “And I better hurry up.” She said moving quickly towards the back door. “The rain is coming.”

Gerard followed close on her heels. Ayasha opened the door wide. “Okay be right back.”

His eyes never left her form as she hurried across the yard to a small woodpile. She grabbed as many small pieces of wood she could carry then hurried back to the house. The first drops of rain came down just as she reached the door.

“That was close.” She giggled.

Gerard closed the door behind her. “Let me take some of them.” He said as he started to reach for kindling in her arms.

“Gee, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m just fine. Just want to get our camp out going.”

As much as she wanted to believe his words something in his eyes was bothering her.

Once they carefully climbed the stairs with the wood and it was in place by the grill Ayasha opened the two large doors. Just as she stood back a huge flash of lightning illuminated their space. “Wow.” She muttered.

Gerard put his arm around her shoulder. “That was impressive.” He noticed her lips were moving. “What?”

She didn’t answer until after the huge clap of thunder hit. “I was counting to see how far away the storm really is.”

He smiled, “Oh yeah. I’d forgotten about that. Me and Mikey used to count like that. So? How far?”

She snuggled closer to him. “I counted to 31 so the storm is about six miles away.”

“So every five seconds is about a mile?”

She nodded. “That’s what I was always told.”

“Let’s get the fire started.” He suggested moving towards the grill.

A cool gust of wind startled Ayasha but Gerard barley noticed it. “Uh, Gee. I’m gonna run down and get a jacket.”

“Sure, okay.” He answered as he piled the small sticks in the grill. Ayasha had turned and started to walk towards the stairs when he added. “Of course I plan on warming you up soon.”

She turned. “Oh you are, are you?”

“Yep.” Happy with the arrangement of the wood he squirted it down with a little lighter fluid then lit a match. The dry wood caught quickly. When he stood he was happy to see she hadn’t left the attic. “Thought you were gonna go change?”

“No, I like the idea of you keeping me warm much better.” She smiled but truthfully she was still worried about leaving him for even a few minutes. She’d seen the fear in his eyes earlier and was concerned something was happening he wasn’t telling her.

Gerard grinned then moved to sit near the fire on the sleeping bags. “Come.” He said softly holding out his hand to her. She slowly took it then lowered herself to sit beside him. Immediately he put her arm around her pulling her body close.

“This is nice.” She said softly. “Very nice.”

Another flash of lightning lit the room and this time they both counted the seconds.

“Twenty five.” Gerard said. “It’s getting closer.”

“Yes, the Thunder Gods grow near.” Ayasha whispered.

“Cherokee legend?” He guessed.

She nodded. “Yes, in Cherokee legend there are three Thunder Gods. But my favorite legend is about lightning.” She said just as another flash tore across the darkening sky.”

“Tell me.” He said softly.

Ayasha smiled, “Grandmother told me this legend with I was very young so my memory of this story may be a bit rusty.”

“Doesn’t matter. I want to hear it.”

She leaned against him. “Okay. In the beginning of the world there was no fire, the people were in darkness.”

“Like the beginning of the other legend you told me.”

She nodded, “Yes, in the darkness the animal people were cold. Only the Thunders, who lived in the world beyond the sky arch, had fire. But at last they sent Lightning down to an island. Lightning put fire into the bottom of a hollow sycamore tree. The animal people knew that fire was there because they could see the smoke rising from the top of the tree. But they could not reach it because of the water so they held a council to decide what to do.”

To Gerard her voice was soothing in the face of the storm brewing outside and in his mind.

Ayasha continued, “Everyone that could fly or swim was eager to go after the fire. Raven said, “Let me go. I am large and strong.”

“I’ve always thought ravens were beautiful birds.” Gerard said softly. “Black as midnight.”

“Oh but in the beginning they were not black.” Ayasha smiled, “The raven was white.”

“Seriously?”

“Just retelling the legend.” She grinned. “So the white raven flew high and far across the water and reached the top of the sycamore tree. While he sat there wondering what to do, the heart scorched all his feathers black. He was so frightened he flew home, without the fire, and his feathers have been black ever since.”

Ayasha paused a moment staring into the fire.

“What is it, Honey?” Gerard whispered searching her face for the truth.

“Sitting around a fire like this, retelling Cherokee legends seems…”She sighed, “Like I’m reclaiming a part of me that’s been missing.”

Hearing that pleased him. “So go on. Who tried next?”

“The council sent Screech Owl. He flew to the island but while looking down the hollow tree a blast of hot air came up and nearly burned out his eyes. He flew home and to this day, Screech Owl’s eyes are red. Then Hooting Owl and Horned Owl were sent to the island together. But the smoke nearly blinded them, and the ashes carried up by the wind made white rings about their eyes. They had to come home, and were never able to get rid of the white rings.”

“Again I have to say I love how these legends explain things in nature.” Gerard said softly.

Ayasha smiled, “Yes, the Cherokee people feel one with their animal brothers and sisters.” She impulsively kissed his cheek then went on. “Then Little Snake swam across to the island, crawled through the grass to the tree and entered it through a small hole at the bottom. But the smoke and the heat were too much for him, too. He escaped alive, but his body had been scorched black. And it was so twisted that he doubled on his track as if always trying to escape from a small space. Big Snake, the climber offered to go for fire, but he fell into the burning stump and became as black as Little Snake. He has been the great Blacksnake ever since. At last Water Spider said that she would go. Water Spider has black downy hair and red stripes on her body. She could run on top of water and she could dive to the bottom. She would have no trouble in getting to the island.”

Gerard leaned forward, threw another stick in the fire then sat back completely involved in the story.

Ayasha went on. “But you are so little, how will you carry enough fire? The council asked. I’ll manage all right answered Water Spider. I can spin a web. So she began to spin a thread from her body and wove it into a little bowl then fastened the little bowl on her back. Then she crossed over to the island and through the grass. She put one little coal of fire into her bowl and brought it across to the people. Ever since we have had fire. And Water Spider still has her little bowl on her back.”

“I love it.” Gerard said as soon as her voice trailed off. “So lightning hitting a tree inspired the story of how the people got fire.”

“Yes and the little female water spider plays an important part in Cherokee legend. It was she who brought fire, brought light, to my people.” As soon as she saw Gerard smiled she realized what she’d just said. “Yes, I said my people. I know my heart is Cherokee.”

He reached out to touch her hair. “Can I try to braid it for you?”

Ayasha was surprised, “You want to braid my hair? I left it free because I thought you liked it better.”

“It just seems like that while we are sitting around the fire, and you’re telling me Cherokee legends your hair should be in braids.” He looked deeply into her eyes hoping his words hadn’t upset her.

“So I look more Cherokee?”

“You are Cherokee, Honey. You just said it, your heart is Cherokee. Now let your mind be the same.”

She stared at him a moment then reaching up parted her hair. “This side first.” She said softly.

For several minutes he tried but was quickly growing frustrated. “Damn.” He whispered. “This is much harder than it looks.”

Ayasha grinned, “You’ve divided it into three sections?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, make sure you keep the sections separated. Now cross the left hand section over the middle section. The original left hand section is now in the middle, right?”

“Yep.”

She giggled, “Okay now cross the right hand section over the middle section. So now the original left hand section is in the middle. Now just keep alternating the right and left hand sections over the middle.” She waited a moment then asked, “Starting to look like a braid?”

“Yeah.” He nodded while keeping his attention on his hands. “Shit, it really does.” When he got near the end of the plait he asked, “Uh, what do I secure it with?”

She pulled a coated rubber band off her wrist then held it out.

“Cool.” He took it and a moment later the braid was done. “Not too bad.” He said with a nod.

Ayasha lifted the braid. “Not bad at all. Now for the other side.” She turned away from the fire so he could braid the other side. This time the process went much faster.

“Gotta remember how to do this.” He muttered to himself as he secured the braid with the other rubber band she handed him.

“So you can braid Bandit’s hair?” Ayasha asked softly.

Gerard sighed, “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I know Linds has braided her hair but I never did.”

“Well you will.” She said turning back to face the fire.

Just then another lightning bolt zig zaged across the sky. It wasn’t more than ten beats before a huge clap of thunder could be felt.

“Damn, that’s getting close. Think we’re gonna have to close the doors?” Gerard asked seeing rain beginning to fall in sheets.

“Hope not. But it looks like the wind is blowing in the other direction so maybe not.”

“You look beautiful.” Gerard said softly.

The way he had suddenly changed the conversation surprised yet pleased her. “It’s my braids.” She said lifting one. “I have a great hair dresser.”

His voice was like velvet. “I’d really like to see the braids against your skin.”

She smiled. “I’d like to see your skin in the firelight too.”

He nodded then pulled the sweatshirt over his head just in time to see Ayasha pull off hers. His heart skipped a beat when she reached behind to unhook her bra. “Beautiful.” He whispered looking at her bare breasts framed by her long braids. However he asked with concern, “You’re not too cold are you?”

“No, actually our little campfire is putting out enough heat right now.” Nervously she glanced down. “But I’d like to cuddle.”

“Your wish is my command.” When she scooted closer he placed his arm around her. “How’s that?”

“Wonderful.” She sighed.

For several minutes they both stared into the flames. Outside the storm grew closer.

“Ayasha?”

“Yes?”

“I was wondering…when did you first hear my music?”

She hadn’t expected this question. “Oh.” She said slowing giving herself time to think. “You mean when did I become a fan?”

“Yeah.”

“Back in 2004 I’d been living in Texas but after almost half a year I wanted a change.”

“What were you doing in Texas?” Gerard asked.

Ayasha tried not to appear impatient. “I’d been working on a farm.” She answered hoping he’d let the subject drop. “Anyway, I started hitching thinking I’d head out towards California. Don’t know why, really. Just seemed like maybe it was a place I’d like.” She paused, “Gee, I told you back then I had no direction, I was just drifting through my life.” She said knowing her earlier answer had come off gruff.

He kissed her cheek. “Okay. So you were heading towards California.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder as the memories started filtering back into her mind. “It was early July and damn hot. I remember hoping someone would offer me a ride who had a nice air conditioned car.”

“And did someone?”

“A van full of young kids stopped.” She laughed, “I say kids but really I wasn’t that much older than them.”

“You were twenty-two, right?”

“Yes. There were two girls and three guys, all just out of high school. They asked were I was headed and I told them California. They said they were on their way to Vegas for the Warped Tour.” Again she laughed, “I had no idea what the hell the Warped Tour was but since they were headed in the same direction, and their van had air, I was in.” She took a deep breath. “I really feel bad now about how I acted.”

Gerard pulled her a bit closer. “What happened?”

“Well like I said there were two girls and three guys. Basically two couples with one extra guy.”

Gerard had a feeling he knew where this story was going.

“The guy was really being nice to me.”

“He wanted to hook up.” Gerard said softly.

“Yes, and because I knew that I was a bitch to him. Strange thing was though he didn’t get mad. He just kept being nice. When we got to Vegas they asked me where I wanted them to let me out. I told them it didn’t matter to me. So they pulled over but before I could get out he asked me if I wanted to go with them to the concerts. The truth was I really thought it sounded like fun, I’d never been to a concert before let alone a festival but I didn’t have any money to waste on a ticket.” Again she paused. “He offered to buy me a ticket but I got angry. I just automatically thought if I guy bought me something he’d want something in return. So I said no and climbed out of the van. They started to pull back onto the road when the van stopped and he got out. He came over and told me he’d really like to buy me a ticket, he knew he didn’t have a chance with me but he just wanted someone to hang out with.” She shook her head sadly. “Because the others were couples he was feeling left out, and I got that. I just wish I hadn’t been so bitchy.”

“So you went with him?”

“Yes, and I hung out with him all day. He was a nice guy, just lonely.”

Gerard was trying to remember the Vegas date. “Uh, that was Forth of July, right?”

Ayasha smiled, “Yes, it was.” She placed her hand on his leg. “It was the best Forth of July of my life. I loved listening to all the bands and hanging out with the kids in the crowd. It was the first time I actually didn’t feel like an outsider. Everyone was there just to have a good time, not to judge anyone on how they acted or looked.”

“And that was the first time you heard me sing?”

She turned to face him. “Yes, that was the first time I heard MCR.” She smiled, “I loved your songs. They were so full of energy. You were so wild on stage.”

“Yeah, we were all so stocked to be playing Warped. It was really the first big thing we’d ever done. I loved the atmosphere.”

Again she rested her head on his shoulder. “It was a good day.”

“So what happened with the guy?” He asked not able to keep his curiosity at bay.

“After it was over he asked me to go with them to the next stop of the tour.”

“Did you?”

She sighed, “No as much as I really wanted to I realized he liked me and I didn’t want to hurt him. He was a nice guy who had graduated at the top of his class, he was going to college in the fall. I definitely wasn’t his type but he didn’t see that.” When she continued her voice sounded haunted. “I considered hooking up with him just so I could hang with them and go to the shows but he was so nice I didn’t want to use him like that.” When she continued her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her. “That day something inside me changed.”

“I don’t understand, Ayasha.” He said softly looking down into he face.

She was horrified she spoke the truth out loud. Forcing herself to smile she sat up. “The storm is here.”

Gerard gazed over at the open doors to see the sheets of rain falling, to see the flashes of lightning. However her words were still echoing in his brain. “Ayasha..”

She scooted away to give herself time to think. Finally she spoke. “Would you like me to tell you another Cherokee legend?”

He started to answer but a flash of lightning followed immediately by a clap of thunder startled both of them.

“Damn.” Gerard laughed nervously. “That was close.”

To Ayasha the storm outside matched the storm raging inside her mind. Suddenly she stood and as Gerard watched she shed her sweatpants and panties. Once nude she sat down “Indian Style” facing him.

He could see the turmoil in her eyes but was confused. Deep down be believed her actions were to distract him yet he feared if he told her he understood that she would be hurt or angry. So he too stood, pulled off his sweats then sat down in the same fashion facing her.

She searched her thoughts for a story as she looked into his eyes. When another clap of thunder, followed by a blinding flash of light illuminated the room it came to her. Almost in slow motion her hand moved toward him, she placed her palm flat against his chest. “This story is about two wolves.”

Gerard was mesmerized by her voice, by the look in her eyes.

“Once a Cherokee grandfather sat around a campfire with his young grandson teaching him about life. A fight is going on inside me he told the boy. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil, he is anger, envy, sorry, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, and ego.”

Gerard was watching her face, taking in each word she spoke.

Ayasha continued, “The other is good, he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. The same fight is going in inside you and inside every person.” She paused then pressed her hand harder against his bare chest right over his heart. Her voice was full of emotion as she continued. “The grandson thought about his grandfathers words of a moment then asked, which wolf will win?”

Gerard found himself so caught up in the story the storm outside was forgotten. However the storm raging inside himself grew.

“The Grandfather simply replied.. the one you feed.”

“Yes.” Gerard nodded looking deeply into Ayasha’s eyes, “I have been feeding the evil wolf.”

“As have I.” She whispered.

He moved closer so that their bare knees were touching. “I need to defeat the evil wolf.”

“Stop feeding it, it will starve. Feed the good and it will thrive.”

“Such a simple story that has such a deep meaning.” Gerard said softly. “Being with you has cleared my mind.”

As much as she wished she could believe her presence in his life was the only reason he now had clarity she had to say, “Gee, your mind is now free of drugs.”

“That isn’t the reason" He said as he reached out to touch her face. “It is you, Ayasha. You make me believe I am strong enough to let the evil wolf die.”

A sudden gust of wind brought a light sprinkling of rain inside the attic which hit their bodies. Gerard could not feel the moisture on his body but he saw her shiver. “Close the doors.” He said softly.

She stood and did as he asked. When she turned she saw he’d spread out the sleeping bags and was laying waiting to take her into his arms. As she lay down he pulled her to him. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you.” She responded moments before his mouth captured hers.

They made love safe inside the world they had built together as the storm continued outside. Both understood for now they were safe but both sadly knew it was just a matter of time before the world outside could tear them apart.