I opened my eyes and my fingers clung to Brendon’s chest. I didn’t utter a word.
“Don’t you think I knew this would happen?” Dallon growled, walking closer to the sofa. “Don’t you think I’d know that as soon as Brendon climbed out of bed he’d be making his way over here? I’m not stupid.” His hand reached and grabbed me by the back of the shirt. “Well I ain’t standing for it anymore.”
He pulled me off of Brendon and I squeaked, trying to grab Brendon’s out stretched hands. But I couldn’t reach.
“Wait, Dallon – it’s not his fault,” Brendon stood up, moving defensively over to me. I wailed and struggled under Dallon’s grip. One arm was around my neck and another was across my chest.
“It is his fault. It’s been his fault all along.” Dallon hissed, squeezing my throat. I tried to wriggle from his grip but there was no way to move.
And then I started to panic.
“Dal, just let him go, talk to me instead,” Brendon insisted, moving a little closer. Dallon hissed and pulled me back. My forehead was coated with sweat and my breathing rapidly increased, and I struggled, but there was no escape.
“No,” Dallon frowned, pulling me away. “He deserves this. I warned you, I warned you both.”
“Dallon, please, he’s panicking, he’s going to get hurt-“
“Shut up!” Dallon shouted, his words ringing in my ears. Oh god I wanted everything to stop. My vision was blurring up and I was starting to pant in the heat and the lack of oxygen, and my head was aching, and everything was just stirring up.
“Dallon please, you’ll hurt him!”
I let out a sob and writhed under his iron grip.
“Dallon let go of him! We’re over right now,” Brendon shouted, coming closer. “Put him down and get out of my life.”
Dallon hissed and yanked my body upwards. I nearly vomited.
“You’re not divorcing me,” Dallon growled. “No way in hell.”
Brendon’s jaw dropped, fingers shaking.
“You can’t stop me.”
“Yes I can. We’re not getting divorced, and you will not continue to see this man.” Dallon’s grip softened on me and I wriggled out of It, but he held me back, shoving me to the ground. I couldn’t get back up, my limbs refusing to work, my whole body shaking violently in panic and my eyes blurring up. His foot struck me in the side and I let out a yelp.
Brendon moved forward, more to my aid than to hurt Dallon. “Ryan-“ He cried, trying to get to me, Dallon’s hands shoving him back.
“You just wait your turn, Brendon,” He hissed, slapping my cheeks to get me to pay attention. “Now listen here. I don’t want to see you in my life anymore. I don’t want to see your ugly face, I don’t want to hear your shitty music, I don’t want to see you breathing in the same air. I want you to realise what an awful human being you are and see that you don’t deserve Brendon.” He knocked a punch to my jaw and my eye and I let out a yelp.
Brendon kept trying to pull him off or pull me away, but with little success. I couldn’t breathe – Dallon was squeezing the air from my lungs, I was panicking and every time he hit Brendon I wanted to cry. He moved back and sat on my chest, my eyes watering and my throat gasping for air. His hands moved around my throat and pressed again.
“Do you understand me?” Dallon snarled, leaning with his face close to mine. I writhed and nodded, desperately, choking for air. Dallon blinked at me and took his hands away from my throat, still sat on my chest.
“And you,” He growled, turning to Brendon. “You will stay my husband, and if you dare have any sort of affair with anyone, understand that this will happen to all of them.”
Brendon pushed Dallon slightly off of me. “Stop!” He yelled, red faced down at Dallon. “Stop! You’re going to kill him! How could I ever be married to someone who has killed the guy I love?” Brendon’s voice deflated. “How can I be married to someone I don’t love..”
Dallon slapped my cheeks one more time before climbing off me, grabbing Brendon by the shirt and pulling him close. “We’re leaving, right now.”
I turned over on the floor, shaking and sweating, and held my stomach, vomiting it’s contents onto the floor beside me.
“We’re not leaving,” Brendon pushed Dallon off him. “I need to stay with Ryan. He’s having a panic attack.”
“I don’t care, he could fucking die for all I care,” Dallon hissed. “Now we’re going-“
“No!” Brendon repeated, shoving him away. “Get away from me!”
Dallon stared at him for a few moments before bringing his hand up and slapping Brendon hard across the cheek, leaving a bright, rosie hue. Brendon stared back, touching his cheek.
“Leave,” Brendon whispered. “Leave me.”
Dallon narrowed his gaze and stood up. “If you’re not back in a few hours I will come and murder him.” He replied, darkly. Brendon flipped him off and put a hand under my neck, another supporting my body.
“Hush now,” Brendon whispered, carrying me to the sofa. “He’s gone, hush now.”
I laid quietly, my body hurting, aching from my fingers to my toes. My breathing was out of control and blood was running from my nose – I wanted everything to stop.
“Sweetheart, please reply to me,” Brendon sniffed, tending to my nose bleed. His fingers reached to cradle my cheek. “You’re scaring me, Ryan.”
I still didn’t reply. I would have liked to, but – it was too hard to even speak. He sat me up and kneeded his fingers across my back.
“Reply soon,” Brendon whispered, through tears. “Ryan..”
I kept silent, my eyelids drooping out of exhaustion and pain, my headache starting to stir up amongst everything that was going on. My vision was still awful – I wanted it all to be over.
“Ryan,” Brendon sniffled, pressing his fingers against my shoulderblades. “Listen, you’re okay now, just – tell me you’re okay, please..”
He sounded so hurt. God I wanted to just – scoop him up in a blanket and tell him it was alright, but I couldn’t, because it wasn’t alright. I let myself fall back against him, unable to sit upright anymore.
“Ryan,” Brendon pressed, frightened as he put a hand over my chest. My breathing was normal now, anyway. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap, breathing in and out shakily by my ear.
Jon and Spencer returned through the door a few minutes later, staring.
Brendon sniffed at them and shrugged, holding my shoulders tightly.
“Dallon.” He murmured, through tears. Jon and Spencer nodded in unison and scampered out of the way.
“Please wake up..” Brendon breathed, his voice wobbling. “Don’t let him win, please.”
I didn’t want to let him win.
But it was getting hard not to.
Brendon’s fingers tightened around me as he pulled me upwards again, closer to his face. He pushed one kiss to my temple and one on my lips.
“Ryan, please,” Brendon persisted, his hand now cupping my cheek. “We’ll go to a hospital if you don’t respond,” He warned.
Fuck. I didn’t need to go to a hospital. Well – maybe I did, but I wasn’t going to go to one. I fluttered my fingers against his hand as a signal that I was okay. He didn’t take it.
“That’s not good enough,” Brendon frowned, through tears. “I need you to speak, and tell me it’s okay, and- and..”
“I-I’m okay.” I replied, with a voice that was almost silent, my eyes staying shut.
“Oh thank god,” Brendon sobbed, turning me over so I could face him carefully, and squeezing me tight. “You scared me really bad.” He sniffed, burying his face in my shoulder.
If I had the energy I might have cried too.
“I’m okay.” I repeated, staring lazily into space, whilst he hugged me.
“You can sleep, okay? Just- let me stay, with you.” Brendon whispered, his hand trailing up my cheek. I nodded vaguely in my sleep and curled up against his chest, listening to his heart beat.
I remember the days that I would dream of this.
And now it was my reality.
When I awoke – Brendon was gone.
I guess I should have figured that he’d get forced home; It still hurt when his fingers weren’t cradling me.
I turned over slowly, and Jon was knelt beside me. I almost jumped.
“Ryan.” Jon sighed, resting his chin in his hand. “You sure are in the wars, aren’t you.”
I shrugged and Jon laughed weakly.
“Good thing we have people like you in the world, Ryan.” Jon paused. “Need anything? Unfortunately I can’t get Brendon, since he’s sorta gone now.”
My heart sunk. A little bit of me maybe had thought he had gone to brush his teeth or something but – nope.
“I need Brendon back,” I whispered, hollowly. “But I guess until then I’ll have a hot water bottle and sleep.” I mumbled, feeling like a child.
Like a stereotypical child – not as myself as a child. When I was a child I never owned a hot water bottle and I only discovered them when Brendon showed me one when I was ill. I guess my life as a child wasn’t really like any one elses.
Jon returned to me with a hot water bottle and blankets, tucking me up in them.
“I’ll be right here, okay?” Jon sighed, crossing his arms. “Hate that it had to be you.”
I shrugged a little and shut my eyes.
“It’s always me.”
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