Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Stolen

Don't You Look Back

by IndiaGirl 0 reviews

Final touches.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama - Published: 2013-02-24 - 1216 words

Jon and Spencer gave me enough money for one month of rent.
I really needed Brendon. I hadn’t seen him for a few weeks – and part of me was dying to call up Dan, to tell him to come over, to help me pretend, to help me feel good again.
But if Brendon found out he’d – probably be in pieces, and hate me. I don’t want to cheat on him, I really don’t. With anyone else it would feel dirty, but I suppose with Dan it wasn’t really cheating; it was like sex with Brendon anyway.
Except that sex with Brendon was magical.
It wasn’t the fact that we were doing that, but the fact that I could be as close to him as I could, closer than anyone had ever been – except Dallon. And whoever else Brendon had slept with.
But still, I could be close to him, my skin on his skin, his lips on my lips, his eyes fixed on my eyes.
Of course I had only done this with Brendon one time. We’d never really found the time to do it again – since the inconveniences; my rent, Jon and Spencer, and Dallon.
Dallon who ruined my life.

I finally clambered out of bed, wandering through to the kitchen in my boxers and a shirt. I collected some food and sauntered about, not really paying attention to what I was doing or where I was going.
The doorbell rang and I dropped my bowl. It smashed on the floor but I didn’t really care that much.
I opened the door, timidly.
“Ryan, just let me in, lock the door,” Brendon stepped in, shutting the door behind him and locking it. He kissed me suddenly, pressing me against the door.
“What is it?” I breathed, once his lips were removed from mine. He looked like he could burst into tears at any moment.
“I only have one night, please just let me have it.” Brendon almost whined, kissing me again, dragging his hands down my chest and onto my waist.
“You only have one night?” I asked, between kisses.
Brendon nodded and pressed his body against mine. “One night.”
“Till.. Till what?” I asked, shaking.
Was he going to break up with me? Now? After everything? After all the times he promised that he would never leave me? After how many times he crushed my heart under his foot, after he messed me about?
“’Till Dallon drags me 1000 miles across the country,” Brendon gasped, pushing his lips onto my neck and dragging his teeth. My fingers dug into his waist as his teeth moved and I let out a tiny moan.
“Why is he doing that?” I asked, wanting to cry. Brendon sighed and pulled back, his hand cupping my cheek.
“To keep me away from you,” Brendon sighed, leaning in and kissing me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
“He can’t do that,” I sniffed, burying my face into his shoulder. “He can’t.”
Brendon squeezed me tightly and walked towards my bedroom, placing me down on the bed.
“He is,” Brendon sighed, lying down beside me, and lifting me on top of him. “I have to go live with his family, Ry,” He sniffled. “I want to stay here with you..”
I shifted and curled up on his chest.
“Then stay,” I whispered, desperately. “Stay with me.”
Brendon sighed and kissed my forehead delicately.
“I wish I could,” Brendon sighed, cradling my cheek with his fingers. “But I can’t, and I only have tonight..” His hand circled on my shoulder. “So just- let me have you all to myself, first.”

His hands slipped over my shoulders and tugged my shirt off me. I leant over him and unbuttoned his shirt, following with his jeans, throwing them to the floor and kissing him again.
He pulled me to straddle his lap and pushed his fingertips into my lower back, his tongue pushing slightly past my lips.
“I can’t not be with you,” I whined, kissing him desperately. “I can’t, you don’t understand,”
Brendon squeezed my biceps, pulling away centimetres from my lips to speak.
“I know, but it’s for the best,” Brendon sighed, talking between kisses. “I will divorce him, okay? And we’ll be together, but for now..”
I nearly sobbed.
“No, it’s not fair,” I sniffed. He paused, wiping away my tears.
“It’s not fair, no. But I can’t do anything, I’m.. I’m just as upset as you, Ry. I love you.”
I stared back at him, with squared shoulders, trembling lips and shaking fingers.
He loved me? Did that just fall out of those beautiful lips? Did I hear him right?
How many times had I imagined this in my head, how many times had I cried at night because those words would never be uttered? And now – it had happened. And all I could do was stare back at him.
I threw my arms around his neck and buried my nose into his shoulder.
“I love you too.”

I fell down beside him, wiping my forehead, tired and still feeling upset. Brendon crawled up beside me and put an arm around me, pulling the sheets over us both.
“I’m sorry.” Brendon sighed, pushing a tiny kiss to my forehead. “This isn’t how I thought things would go.” I sniffled and felt moisture building up behind my eyes. I tucked up my knees, disregarding the fact I was naked, ducking against his chest.
“What are we going to do?” I breathed, shakily. “I mean – where are you even going?”
Brendon shook his head, breathing into my hair. I nuzzled against his touch.
“I don’t know, Ry, I don’t know,” Brendon shivered, ducking his head. “He hasn’t told me.. He won’t tell me, I’m just as lost as you.” He kissed my lips again. “But.. But really, I love you, and.. I will make this work,”
I let out a sob and pressed a hand against Brendon’s chest.
“This isn’t fair, this isn’t fair!” I wailed, pressing my forehead against Brendon’s lips. His fingers ran up and down my shoulders and biceps.
“I know, sweetheart.” Brendon replied, gently, kissing my forehead. “It’ll get better, I’ll get rid of Dallon and before you know it I’ll be back here with you.” I rubbed my eyes and shut them.
“What if you don’t get a divorce?”
“Then I take him to court. And the police for assault.” Brendon stated, pulling me in as close as he possibly could. “He will pay for everything he’s done to you, Ry, and I will be there holding your hand the entire time.”
I nodded and let my self drift to sleep a little in his arms – though once Brendon was sleeping on me, I couldn’t even catch a wink. I couldn’t sleep – I just lied there, eyes wide, fingers shaking, pretending that what had just happened was all a dream.
It had to be a dream.

And then, when I awoke, naturally – Brendon was gone.
A note rested on the table.
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