FicWad

Frank's POV

Gerard's words filled my mind even after he left, my guitar had silenced and my thoughts wondered about how Gerard had spoken to me, he had given me no sympathy or empathy he hadn't attempted to comfort me in anyway, all he did was tell me the truth and he was right, that was what I needed to hear, it's all I've ever wanted to hear, no one has said anything like that to me since it happened, and he's the only one who has offered to help me, given me the choice, when I was being forced by my mother to see a shrink naturally I was uncooperative but now I'm being given a choice, I do want help, I want someone to know how I feel and to share my pain, to understand the length of the torture I've been suffering, and just to let the truth out into the open, the truth about it all the fact I'm still lying disgusts me and I can't hide from it, because I don't trust anyone enough to tell them what really happened, how am I meant to? We all lied and that's why my world came crashing down and no one knows the truth...only me and it's such a burden to bare a burden that no man let alone child should have to suffer with.
I don't know how he thinks he'll help me, but I'm grateful that he'll try and I'm more grateful that he still considers me a friend, after eleven years he still considers me one of his closest friends, and I've never really had a friend so to speak, I mean I had friends yeah but they weren't real friends, I was that kid they pretended to be friends with so it was 'okay' to take the piss out of me every minute of every day which is shitty but at least I wasn't alone, but if I was alone I guess none of this would have happened...

I glanced to the clock which now read '6:30' I looked around before standing from the bed and walking toward my bedroom door, placing the guitar back on the stand as I went, I slowly walked out into the hallway before turning right and standing in front of Gerard's door I just stood there for a few minutes contemplating whether I should actually do this and wondering whether it's too early or not be waking him up but I decided if I don't do this now I probably never will, so while I had the courage, I softly knocked the door and pushed it open fractionally, I popped my head around the gap to see Gerard sleeping, I walked in quietly and stood by his bed, I softly poked him in the head a few times before he looked up at me sleepy eyed "Frank? are you okay?" he asked, he looked at the clock on his night stand and sighed, I looked at him apologetically "It's okay Frank, it doesn't matter..." he said sitting up on his bed I looked to the ground not knowing what to do now, I looked around the room looking for a way of communicating, I walked over to Gerard's dresser and picked up an empty Starbucks cup and pointed at the logo, Gerard looked at me confused but confusion soon turned to realisation "Oh you want to go to Starbucks?" he exclaimed I nodded he stood up quickly "I'll be right back..." he left the room for a few minutes but when he returned he was fully dressed, hair styled but it was still messy, he patted his pockets and looked around the room before saying "there you are." and picked up his keys, phone and a box of cigarettes from his dresser, I followed him out of the room and down the stairs he wrote a note on a piece of paper saying 'Gone to Starbucks with Frank, be back soon xoxo' and stuck it onto the fridge. and then in the same clothes I'd arrived in we walked out of the front door and made our way to Starbucks...

Gerard's POV

The walk there was quiet obviously, with Frank being mute and all, but it wasn't awkward it was just comfortable, when we got to Starbucks I turned to him "you want anything?" he shook his head and sat at an empty booth, but they were all empty, so he was spoilt for choice, he chose the one in the far left corner of the shop that was distanced from everyone else, I walked over to the counter and saw Lindsey smiling at me with her red lips and her dark brown hair pulled back into her iconic pony tails "Hi Gerard, the usual I'm guessing?" she giggled I nodded and smiled "Yeah the usual but can I have a hot chocolate with it too please?" Lindsey raised an eyebrow "Hot Chocolate? the last time you bought someone a hot chocolate it didn't end well..." she pointed out, I rolled my eyes "Lindsey it's hot chocolate and that was a completely different situation, so please?" she shrugged and turned around to make the drinks, she turned back a few minutes later and placed two cups on the counter in front of me "That'll be $6.50, and just so you know I hope it's a different situation, he's cute as hell Gerard..." she added, I handed her the money and rolled my eyes before heading over to Frank, I slid into the booth opposite Frank and pushed the cup of hot chocolate in front of him, he looked at me confused I took a gulp of my coffee, frank wrapped his hands around the cup craving the warmth coming from it before he hesitantly picked it up and took a small sip, I placed my own cup back down onto the table and sighed "So...I take it you woke me up at this ungodly hour because you wanted my help right?" I asked, he nodded and silence fell over us again, Frank stared at the cup he held in front of him and I sighed "Y'know Frank...there's a lot of things I've done in the past, and things that have happened to me that I've never uttered a word of to anybody, that doesn't mean I have to be completely silent, we all have secrets Frank...some worse than others but that doesn't define who we are" I stated, Frank looked at me and sighed lightly "...I'm scared" he whispered, and those were the first words I heard leave his mouth after eleven years and I looked him in the eyes to see that he was scared, he wasn't that happy little boy that I saw in the photo just a few days ago, he's scared and alone and I needed to help him "Frank...you need to tell me what happened, everything that happened." I informed, his head shot up and his eyes wide, he shook his head violently I sighed "hey Lindsey!" I shouted her head popped from around the counter to look at us "can you..." I swirled my finger in the air pointing around the store, she rolled her eyes "You've got ten minutes..." she stated before walking over to the door and changing the sign to 'closed' and leaving the store "okay, we're alone, no one else around to hear what you've got to say, Frank...you can trust me..." he looked at me, then he went back to staring at his cup "I want to trust you...I do, but I just..." he whispered trailing off I stretched a hand out and placed on his, only for him to snatch it away three times as fast, he eyes fixated on the cup and his breathing increasing, he was shaking slightly too, which is when it hit me, how serious this really was, I looked at him “It wasn’t just your average mugging was it?” I questioned, Frank shook his head, still not looking at me, but I saw the tears fall onto the table “Does anyone else know?” again he shook his head “Look, I’m not going to tell anyone, I’ll leave that to you when you’re ready, and I promise you that I won’t tell unless you want me to, but you have to promise me that when I’m trying to help you, you try and help yourself, do you understand?” I dipped my head in order to try and get his eye contact, but he lifted his face to see mine and nodded in silence, I nodded “Okay, now come on…” I said standing up, Frank looked at me confused again, I nodded toward the door “we’re going for a walk.” I stated, Frank nodded and stood waiting for me to head out the store first as I walked out of the door I held it open for Frank to follow me out, Lindsey was standing outside taking a drag from her cigarette when she saw us “Can I go back to work now?” she asked, I nodded “Yeah sorry about that…” I stated, she shrugged “It’s cool, it’s nice to see you haven’t got blood on your face this time.” She dropped her cigarette to the floor and crushed it with her foot before kissing me on the cheek and heading back into the shop, Frank glanced at me “What?” I questioned, he nodded his head back towards Lindsey and raised his eyebrow “wait you think? Oh no, Lindsey? No, I mean we used to date but y’know it’s hard to date a girl when you’re into guys…” I said shrugging and pulling out a cigarette from my pocket along with a lighter, Frank looked at me again “Yes, I’m gay. How the hell did you not notice that…” I laughed as I lit my cigarette, Frank smiled and shrugged shaking his head at the same time “What about you, you got a preference?” I asked, Frank looked at me and shrugged casually “not quite sure yet?” I asked he nodded slowly staring at the ground in front of him, his mood seemed to change quickly “Frank…” he looked at me and nodded “It was a guy wasn’t it…” Frank sighed heavily and stopped walking, he nodded “and you’re scared that you think you might be…” Frank nodded before I could finish the sentence, I stretched out my hand and waited for him to take it, after a few hesitant seconds he did and I led him toward the local park.

Frank’s POV

Gerard led me to the local park and we both sat on one of the old metal benches, he faced me and looked my straight in the eye “Frank, what happened to you, it doesn’t define who you are or how you should live your life, you have so much experience that kids could use, a lot of people in your situation say they wish someone would have told them what not to do, you can be that person, but first you have to let other people in and I know it’s scary but it’s something you’ll have to do otherwise you’ll spend the rest of your life in silence watching the world pass you by as you sit in your room wasting away doing nothing because you’re scared of what’s out there, and granted the world is an ugly place it really is, but every now and again you stumble across something beautiful and it can change your perspective of everything and if you don’t help yourself like I’m trying to help you, you’ll never see that beauty and good in the world, you’ll be trapped in the dark with no way out…” he finished his short speech and looked at me in silence I sighed and leant forward so I was looking at the ground, “It’s all my fault…” I muttered, Gerard dropped his cigarette to the floor and trod on it, he leant over to he was level with me “don’t blame yourself Frank…” he stated, I shook my head “but it is, if I didn’t lie then none of it would have happened!” I stated loudly, “we’ll talk about that tomorrow, I think I’ve already helped you enough today…” he whispered, I looked at him confused “how?” I questioned, he smirked “You’re talking…” he said before standing up and walking slowly back the way we came waiting for me to follow

“I’m talking…” I whispered to myself, realising for the first time today that the words I were hearing were leaving my mouth, that they were audible for everyone to hear, and that it was the first time I’d used my voice in over two months. “Hey pip squeak are you coming or not?” Gerard shouted from a distance, I stood up and began to walk over to him letting a smile crawl across my face as I did so.


[*[/AN- WOO another update, I'm on a roll haha, anyway I hope you're liking it so far, it's a slow one, not so much action as the last few I've written, but hopefully it's still good maybe even better, rates and reviews would be awesome