FicWad

Chapter 18: I Want To Be With You And No One Else [We are the in crowd credit title]

Five PM:

Frank:

I rolled out of the bed slowly, getting tired of just laying there waiting for something to happen. I glanced at Gerard as I went and sat over by the window on the large windowsill. The sun was just beginning to set and from the window I got a perfect view of all the colours.

It reminded me of home, of when I used to go out for walks, purely to see the sun setting. Now all I had was Gerard. My family probably hated me and Gerard and I were kind of stuck in this together. But I was glad that Gerard was with me through all of this, I mean...

If I didn't have him then I would have no one and I would be completely on my own. Gerard meant the world to me now and even though he didn't know it quite yet, I did – I loved him.

He stirred in his sleep a little and rolled over to where I was, hugging the pillow to his face as he mumbled nonsense quietly. I rolled my eyes and took out my guitar, sitting back on the window sill and strumming notes as quietly as I could. (Demolition Lovers) I sang under my breath;

“hand in mine, into your icy blues...And I'd say to you, we could take to the highway..With this trunk of ammunition too...I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets...” I glanced at Gerard and continued to play quietly, careful to not wake him.

“I'm trying...I'm trying...” I whispered, “to let you know just how much you mean to me.” I paused as he moved on the bed again, “and after all the things we put each other through and I would drive to the end with you...”

I had wrote these lyrics a little while ago when I had started to get to know Gerard. I had kind of just wrote them in my head at the time and now that they were coming to life I was quiet satisfied with the result so far.

“A liquor store or two to keep the gas tank full...And I feel like there's nothing left to do, but prove myself to you and we'll keep it running...” I changed the tempo on the guitar as the song picked up the pace.

“But this time, I mean it...I'll let you now just how much you mean to me! As snow falls on desert sky until the end of everything...I'm trying, I'm trying, to let you know, how much you mean...As days fade and nights grow and we go cold...”

I hadn't come up with any more lyrics for this part so I slowed down the guitar back to the beginning rhythm and took a deep breath as the song slowly came to a stop.

Gerard turned over and he smiled a little at me, “you can sing, Frank. Don't lie to me,”

“Not as well as you, Gee.” I mumbled, blushing a deep red as I realised that he could hear me and probably the entire thing too. I looked down to my hands and put the guitar down leaning it against the wall. Gerard stood and he cupped my face with his hands.

“One day you will know the talents you posses, okay?” He said before he back to lay in bed, I climbed into the bed beside him, I shook my head before pinning his wrists to the headboard on his side of the bed unexpectedly, he chuckled under his breath and he smiled wide up at me. I had already managed to climb on top of him in the process with my knees either side of his hips.

We stared into each other's eyes for around half a minute before I crushed my lips to his and kissed him deeper than I thought I had ever, pressing my entire body to his, needing him for some reason. Knowing exactly what my feelings were for him. I loved him and...In every way, I loved him and I wanted him...In every way.

Gerard flipped us over and he kissed down along my jawline down to my neck, making me pant uncontrollably and I felt my stomach tighten as the need for him grew stronger. “Gee...” I whispered, he kissed back to my lips and pressed his to mine gently before pulling away and brushing his lips to mine.

“What is it?” He asked quietly, running the back of his hand across my cheek.

“I...” Why could I not say the words? I had said them before but I guessed that back then I didn't now for sure whether he was listening or not. Now, his ears were directly on me. I shook my head and kissed him deeply, he seemed a little hesitant at first, obviously concerned, but he soon gave in.

This wasn't just the normal kisses that we gave each other – no. There was something different about it. A sense of...Urgency. Like we were running out of time and we wanted to get our point across quickly.

It got so heated to the point where sweat was dripping down the side of our faces and after around half an hour since I tried to tell him that I loved him Gerard was pressing himself so close to me it made me instantly want him all the more. He was just so...Perfect.

I could feel every inch of him on me, he had ripped off my jeans and boxers almost the moment we begun and I did the same to him to make it fair. I kissed down Gerard's chest and ran a hand shakily downwards. Gerard stopped my hand and he took it in his hand, holding it tightly. D-Did he not want me to or something?

“N-not yet, Frank...” Gerard whispered to me in between panted breaths. I nodded and bit down on his lower lip hard in answer. Gerard whimpered and did the same to me back, winning the upper-hand. Gerard pinned me down by my wrists and he kissed down my neck again, over my tattoo.

I yelped out in longing for him, wanting something more than this. Gerard kissed down my chest and down my sides, over my hips and then back up to my lips again.

“So perfect...” Gerard whispered quietly to me as he ran a fingertip up and down my chest, mesmerized. It wasn't like I had the best body in the world, I was slim and had little chest hair so I guessed it looked better that way, Gerard was the same and my skin was always dead smooth and soft which probably explained why Gee kept running his lips and fingers over me, making me breathe heavily as his eyes widened with desire as the seconds grew.

I heard the sound of a door handle rattling and more sweat ran down the side of my face in panic and need for Gerard. D-Did I lock the door? The door creaked open and Gerard practically flew himself at the door and slammed it shut before whoever it was could even get a look in.

Gerard was laying on the floor in a heap by the door, now not moving. I ran to his side and turned him over onto his back, he laughed in hysterics.

“I hit my head!” He continued to laugh like a little kid on crack and I shook my head, I grabbed a dressing gown and threw it at him before pulling on a pair of black skinnies carefully and thank God that the panic had cut off my need for him, otherwise getting on those jeans would have been much harder.

Gerard ran into the bathroom and when I heard the door close I opened the one before me, Mikey came in and wrapped his arms tightly around me. “Hey Frank,” I hugged him back hesitantly and he pulled away a few seconds later. “You're all sweaty, why are you sweaty?”

“No reason, what are you doing here?” I asked, running a hand through my (probably now) messed up hair. Thanks Gerard. You've ruined my perfection – kidding!

“I wanted to see Gerard, i-is he here?” Mikey asked, I swallowed hard and shook my head.

“Sorry Mikes, he left early on today, not sure where he went.” I said almost too quickly, he frowned.

“Well...When you see him tell him that I really need to speak with him okay, apologize...” I smiled a little at him and he cracked one back at me slowly. He waved a little before leaving again. I shut the door sadly and frowned a little to myself. I really did hate lying but...

Neither Gerard or me was in the mood for Mikey right now. All we wanted was each other. 'I'm sorry, Mikey'...I said to him telepathically, almost like he would be able to hear me.

In seconds I was pinned against the wall by Gerard and he was brushing his lips to mine, I smiled weakly at him and he pouted. “Don't worry about Mikes, okay? I can talk to him another time, I'll make sure of it. I promise.”

I nodded slowly and ran a hand over his hair, the mood completely gone from before. I didn't want the mood to be over though...I really didn't. I really...Really didn't. God dammit Mikey!

Mikey:

I ran a hand through my hair as my thoughts doubled one over another. I was one hundred percent sure that Gerard and Frank were together. I mean, the sweat? Seriously. Of course Gerard was hiding somewhere, why else was Frank shirtless. They think I'm so stupid. But I'm not.

Ever since that party when Frank was sat on Gerard's lap I had always thought that there was an instant attraction to one another.

I just hadn't realised how strong those feelings were until now. I made my way back to my own dorm to find that Ray was still asleep. I slammed the door behind me and sat on my bed, Ray sat up and raised an eyebrow at me.

“W-What's wrong?” He asked, still half-asleep. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes now. It just felt like...Gerard had left me, in some way. And the fact that he hadn't spoken to me about this at all just made it worse all the more.

“Mikes...Talk to me,” Ray said calmly, waking up more with every passing second.

“G-Gerard he's...W-with...Frank.” I stammered, staring down at my hands, instantly feeling awkward.

“W-What do you mean?” Ray asked, feeling extremely uncomfortable with this all of a sudden. I mean...This was Gerard! My brother! I had never seen him do anything else with a girl I guess, but...I'm honestly in shock. Not to mention the fact that he's in a relationship with his room-mate of all the people!

“Well...You know at the party the other night..When Frank was sat on Gerard's lap...Well, I think that it wasn't just a friendly gesture. And when I went to talk to Gerard earlier, Frank answered and he was...All sweaty and out of breath. I could also tell that he was lying through his teeth about Gerard not being there. Of course he was, Ray – he never fucking leaves!” Ray placed a hand on my shoulder and he frowned.

“Hey...Mikey...At the end of the day, it's his life and Frank's an alight guy, right? We just have to accept his path and move on from that. I'm sure that Gerard wasn't just going to come out to you about Frank out of nowhere...I'm sure that he was going to talk to you about it eventually, I'm positive, Mikes.” Ray explained to me quietly, trying to calm me down. But this was Gerard!

Everyone had assumed that I was going to be the gay one when we were younger because of my obsession with reading things and doing everything that wasn't 'boy-like'. That means nothing!

“I-I'm just more hurt at the fact that he didn't talk to me, Ray...He's kept this all to himself. I thought we were closer than that – much closer. Ever since we've moved here, ever since Frank's joined; we've been separated and we're never going to be as close as we were. We used to spend every second together before we got here, when we were having trouble with our parents – we only had each other.” Ray shook his head and sighed, sitting back down on his bed.

“Gerard never meant to hurt you, Mikes.” Ray said and he wiped away one of the tears that had secretly made it's way down to my chin. I sniffed and shook my head,

“He kept this to himself because he's scared that I'll react like Dad used to. I've always been more like him than my mother. Gerard's the opposite to me.” I explained, biting down on my lower lip hard, nervous that I was sharing this information with someone. I guessed that if Ray and I were going to be spending the next few months or even longer with each other then we might as well learn each other's past.

Ray had told me a few things about him but his life seemed much more...Tamer than mine and Gerard's. Gerard and me had always grown up together, from sharing comics as toddlers to sharing alcohol and cigarettes as teens. But now? It seemed like that had all gone.

“Mikey I'm sure that isn't the reason,” Ray replied before he climbed out of bed and changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and an iron maiden tee.

“Oh please, save me the lies, Ray. I'm just like our father, or I used to be. Before we moved here. To this hell-hole. “He used to...Abuse Gerard and I when we didn't do what he said and because of that...We fought back and he didn't like that, so there was an uproar most nights, sending my mom into a swirling vortex of physical and emotional pain.

It was hard, but...Gerard and I stayed on our ground and we have done ever since. We were the kids at school who didn't have many friends, but the friends that we did have eventually turned against us, creating more and more enemies as the days went by.”

I paused, playing with my hands. “Eventually...My Dad had enough, so when Gerard and I got home from school one day our stuff was already packed, my Mother was waiting there with him, in floods of tears obviously. I mean, who would want to see their own kids be thrown out?” Ray had stopped changing a while ago now and he had been leaning the wall, listening to me intently for the majority of my life story.

“So, Gerard and I left. Quickly being sent here by the police before we turned into runaways. All I have left is Gerard. A-a-and my Mom is probably having to deal with my Dad which...Would kill her without us there to help her.” I could feel the tears coming again and I sucked it in.

'Don't be a baby, Mikey...' “I would go back and see her but...It wouldn't be the same. Even though they had both favoured me over Gerard – it was still hard. I mean...Gerard was always he one who started the arguments, I always saved his ass so I got most of the beatings because I was sticking up for him.”

Ray walked over to me and gave me a hug, saying quietly to me; “you're not there anymore, Mikey. If your Mom really was in trouble then she would talk to you, yes? She knows where you are, where both of you are and I'm sure that she knows that you two will stick together no matter what, okay?”

I sniffled and held tightly onto him, wanting to just stay here forever and never open my eyes again to reality that would soon set in.