Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Stones Of Words.
Frank's POV
I spent about two hours down there in the basement crying and wondering to myself ‘why me?’, ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ and hating myself for not being strong enough, hating myself for being so vulnerable, for being so worthless and pathetic, but what more can I do? Without Gerard’s words of wisdom or even just his presence I can’t feel safe or secure, I feel nothing but pain and loneliness.
After my personal self-loathing session I emerged from the basement, I could hear gerard taling on the phone in his room upstairs but there was no one else in the house, so I assumed Mikey and Mrs Way were still out so I made my way up stairs and into the bathroom, I grabbed some tissue and wiped my eyes and cheeks of the stale tears that had stained them and then looked up at my appearance in the mirror as my reflection stared back at me I saw the stains on my face were not of water now, but of blood, I looked down to see all my scars had opened and blood wall pouring from the wounds, I held my eyes shut tightly and prayed this wasn’t real, although I knew it wasn’t real even though every time I opened my eyes more blood would appear and the words, his words, I could hear them as if he were right beside me echoing through my mind and the pain although it was all in my head, felt so real like an intense burning on my body and stabbing pains through my back, after what felt like hours of battling with my mind I was defeated, I collapsed to the floor in a fit of screams tears streaming down my face, fear overwhelmed my body and the room temperature seemed to fall drastically, my senses failing me and all I felt was the cold temperature of my body, suddenly I felt something place itself on my forehead, it felt like a hand and I could hear muffled sounds, but I couldn’t see nor hear what was making the noises or what was touching me and slowly everything became darker like I was falling deeper into this unknown darkness and everything stopped.
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My blurry eyes opened slowly though the bright white lights blinded me momentarily it didn’t take me long to figure out where I was, I bolted up straight in the bed where I lay and breathed heavily I stretched out my hands and looked at them, my arms, my torso, my legs, everything and there was nothing there, no blood, no wounds, nothing I knew it wasn’t real but it’s so hard to distinguish what’s real and what’s false, especial with a mind like mine.
I darted my eyes around the room quickly but stopped when I felt a hand fall onto my shoulder, I flinched away violently and glared at the hands owner, but my glare faded when I saw Gerard’s face, I took a deep breath and lowered my head ashamed and embarrassed before mumbling quietly “what happened?” there was a pause, Gerard hesitating “I was going to ask you the same thing…” he replied trailing off, I glanced at him and he sighed “I-I don’t really know what happened to you Frank…one minute the hosue was silent and the next your screaming was all I heard, I bolted out of my room to see if you were okay but by the time I go to you, you were almost unconscious, you were looking in my direction, but it was like you were looking straight through me and you weren’t responding to anything I was saying, so my attempts to keep you conscious failed, I called 911 when you lost consciousness completely..” he trailed off again, he looked to the floor before whispering quietly “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone…” I shook my head “It’s happened before, a few times, but never this bad, this is the first time anyone has seen it happen to me, and the first time I’ve collapsed because of it.” I stated he looked at me with an expression of curiosity mixed with confusion “it only ever happens when I’m alone, I guess it’s like a hallucination…there’s always blood everywhere and I feel as if I’m in pain, and it’s unbearable, I know in my mind it’s not real but my body tells me differently, the pain is so real and overwhelming and I can see the blood all over me and the room, I usually close my eyes and refuse to open them as much as my mind tries to trick me into it, I guess I end up having panic attacks, I don’t really know what it is but somehow I calm myself down to a point where I can convince myself to open my eyes, and when I do it’s all gone, like it never happened and I usually cry myself to sleep or just sit in a corner and sob because I’m still scared…” I took in a deep breath “this was so real though…it was like he was there, I could hear him gerard, I could hear him as clearly as I had done when it happened, like I’d been transported back to that night…” I was now staring at nothing, my eyes watering at the thought but my attention was drawn to Gerard what he spoke “What did he say?” he asked, I looked him in the eyes and sighed
“I’ll Kill You Next Time…”
There was silence for a few minutes, no doubt Gerard was trying to think of something to say that would comfort me, but failing he sighed in frustration and defeat before mumbling “No one else knows your hear, just me mom and Mikey aren’t home yet so they don’t need to know…I’ll go and find a doctor to discharge you so we can go home…” he looked at me before walking off down the white walled corridor leaving me alone once again.
A short amount of time went by but Gerard was soon back with a doctor walking beside him, he was an older grey haired man who I assumed to be one of the senior doctors he cleared his throat and flicked through the chart that was hanging over the end of my hospital bed “Well frank you suffered from quite a serious shock, that may sound like nothing but the technical term for shock is when the blood is not circulating around the body properly and not distributing enough blood this can leave you light headed and dizzy all things I’m sure you’re aware of feeling prior to the event…but you seem to be fine now so I’m happy to discharge you but on one condition, I’ve searched the database for you and got details from your doctor in California…” my eyes widened and my breathing got increasingly heavy, the doctor waved his hand to me “Calm down your mother hasn’t been informed, your friend requested I not tell her, and as you are 17 I obliged to his request, I was only going to say that, I saw that you were diagnosed with depression two years ago but frequently refused to take the medication, now I will let you leave, and I will not tell your mother of your trip to the hospital, if you promise me you’ll start taking your medication and keep at it…” he finished, I hesitated but nodded, he nodded in return and flipped a piece of paper over the chart and began scribbling something down, before ripping off the slip and handing it to me “Take this to the pharmacy in the lobby by reception, get your meds and you are free to go.” He stated before walking away, I slowly swung my legs over the bed and let my feet touch the floor before pushing myself up off the bed to stand by Gerard “Thank you…” I whispered, he smiled at me and we walked down the corridor toward the elevator, Gerard pressed the button and we waited for a few minutes, then the familiar ding came and the lift doors opened, we stepped in and pressed the button for the lobby, it took a while to actually get to the lobby though as it stopped at almost every floor to let people out and to let more people in but when we finally got to the ground floor the place seemed almost deserted, Gerard and I walked silently to the pharmacy and waited for the woman behind it to serve us. “Hello boys, how can I help you?” she smiled, I handed her the slip in silence and she glanced at it before turning around and scanning the shelves, she then stood up with a confused expression on her face before standing on her tip toes and looking toward the far shelves at the back of the small kiosk “Sally! Have you got the anti-depressants for…Frank Anthony Iero back there?” she said in a raised voice, I cringed slightly at the sound of my full name, but I heard Gerard giggle behind me childishly, I turned to him and gave him a look of disapproval but he continued to laugh, I shook my head and rolled my eyes, the woman was now looking at me with a brown tub of pills in her hand “you take them once a day, every day.” She said in a patronising tone, like I didn’t already know, I was on them for six months before I decided they didn’t fucking work, so I stopped taking them, apparently I got aggressive and sometimes suicidal without them, that was according to my mother, I was suicidal anyway and I wouldn’t have considered myself aggressive at all, I may have shouted a little more but I was never ‘aggressive’ I took the bottle and shoved it in my pocket, I nodded to the woman in gratitude before turning around and walking toward the doors to leave.
Once we were outside the cold air hit me like a tonne of bricks, I sucked in the cold air and watched at the condensed air left my mouth like mist, I turned to see Gerard smiling at me “What?” I questioned, he shrugged “Frank Anthony Iero?” he questioned giggling, I sighed and nudged him with my elbow “Fuck off man it’s a stupid name…” he shrugged “I like it, better Than Gerard Arthur Way, Jesus I sound like I should be living in some fancy mansion in Victorian England…” he chuckled and I myself let out a small laugh and the my laugh faded and I stopped in my tracks, I looked to Gerard who was now standing in front of me “Why do you do it?” I asked, he looked at me confused “Do what?” he inquired, I sighed “Why do you treat me like I’m so…normal, no one else does, no one else ever did, I’ve always been that kid that gets left out, bottom of the food chain wherever I go, the kid that even the outcasts outcast, I’ve always been alone, but you, someone I haven’t seen for 11 years, someone I thought I’d never see again…you treat me like I’m the same as everybody else…” I finished and he smiled at me softly “There’s no such thing as normal Frank, some people have similar interests, some people don’t, some people have been through things, others haven’t, just because you have different interests, passions and experiences…doesn’t make you an outcast, it makes you who you are and as hard as it is for some people to realise that, it’s the truth, some people don’t agree with the fact others have different opinions and they are the people who won’t get anywhere in life, the people who are closed minded and selfish who only believe their beliefs and dismiss everything else as false, just because you’ve seen the darker things in the world, doesn’t make you any less special and you are Frank, you’re special and I’m not saying that to be patronising or to make you feel better, I’m just telling you truth…” he finished and placed a hand on my head and tangled his fingers through my hair he then dropped his hand and smiled at me, I smiled back at him lightly “Thanks Gerard…” I muttered, he smiled again and nodded his head “it’s fine Frank…”
Gerard’s POV
We continued the walk home in silence, although my mind was thinking of Frank and worrying about him hopelessly, the little cheerful boy I once knew was gone, and in his place was this, it broke my heart a little to see him like this, to know he was in so much pain and to know that I couldn’t just make it go away.
my thoughts were halted however when my phone began to vibrate in my back pocket, I took it out quickly making some uncomfortable ‘ah’s and ‘no’s as the vibrations rippled through my jeans and onto my butt, not a nice feeling.
I flipped it open and answered
“Yo…”
“God, Gerard never say yo again…” Mikey’s voice echoed through the phone, I laughed and shook my head “You got it what’s up?” I asked, there was a pause before he spoke again “Um, the guys have said they are up for trying again, they were wondering if they could come over tomorrow, to talk about new material, and what direction you’re thinking of going in with the sound…” I shook my head and looked to Frank who was looking at me curiously. “Sure they can come over, but like I’ve always said it’s a group decision not just me, but yeah we can talk about it tomorrow, I’ll see you at home later Mikey, bye” I hung up the phone and looked back to Frank once again who stood wide eyed staring at me “Ray and Bob are coming over tomorrow to talk about ‘band stuff’ they are nice guys, you should try and talk to them, y’know socialise, it’d be good that you have more than one person to talk to, I’m not just saying that by the way, I don’t want you to think I’m bored of you or anything, I love spending time with you, I just think it’s healthy for you to try and stretch out a little, y’know push yourself to be independent.” I stated, Frank’s eyes calmed and so did the rest of his demeanour he nodded “I’ll try, I can’t promise anything though…” he muttered, I placed a hand on his forehead and pushed his fringe from his face so he was looking at me properly “as long as you try, I’m happy. Now come on we need to get home, it looks like it’s going to rain…” I stated looking up to the sky which was now a shade of grey that would cause even the happiest person some displeasure.
We been walking for about five minutes the rain slowly starting to fall but getting increasingly heavy, as Frank and I began to run toward the house the rain was pouring down and the sound of the pellets hitting the concrete floor echoed through the street, out feet crashing through puddles are splashing up out legs, put we ran, and finally drenched head to toe, we got to the house, I violently unlocked the door and pushed it open, Frank ran in and I followed quickly slamming the door behind me, we both stood in the hallway, our hair and clothes sticking to our faces, small traces of black eyeliner had smudged down Frank’s face, we stood staring at each other for a few minutes trying to catch our breath, I started to laugh and Frank soon joined in this not helping the fact we were already out of breath, but when I saw Frank laughing and smiling and when his hazel eyes caught sight of mine in that moment his eyes were glistening with happiness, In that moment I saw the person he used to be…in that moment I gave my heart entirely to him and I knew that I would be willing to do anything to make him happy again….
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Frank’s POV
A few hours had passed since we got back from the hospital and Gerard and I, not changed into new dry clothes were sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV and waiting for Donna to come home, we were half way through an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, you know the one where Buffy’s mom dies? Yeah that one, but as I was saying half way through the front door opened and then closed again, Gerard leant his head back on the couch and shouted into the hallway “Who is it?” to which he got the sarcastic reply “Batman.” From his brother, Mikey walked into the room and waved at me, I smiled and thought of what Gerard had told me earlier before the rain hit “Hi…” I muttered, but Mikey heard me, he looked at me wide eyed and smiled, Gerard was looking at me with a beaming grin on his face “Oh it has a voice!” Mikey said jokingly, to which I fear I may have blushed, but I felt a soft nudge from Gerard and looked back up to his brother “um…” was all I said, I couldn’t think of anything else to say, what was I supposed to say to someone I don’t know, I was only really doing what Gerard had encouraged me to do and be more independent and socialise, but how am I meant to do it, what am I supposed to say? But Mikey simply looked at me and smiled “It’s okay Frank, I don’t expect you to talk for America now you’ve said Hi to me, I just hope you’re feeling a little more comfortable.” I gave him a weak smiled and nodded “Thanks.” I mumbled, again Mikey simply nodded, “I think I’m going to go to bed now anyway, I’m kind of tired, night guys…” I stated before standing up from the sofa and leaving the room, slowly walking upstairs to go to bed.
Gerard’s POV
It was a few hours later when mom came home, she greeted us as she normally does a kiss on the cheek and a hug after that the three of us had a small dinner as it was getting quite late now, I glanced to the clock after dinner and was shocked to see it was already 10:30, so I kissed my mom good night and headed upstairs to my bedroom.
I didn’t go straight to bed instead I sat at my small desk that was positioned in front of my bedroom window and started writing down some ideas for new songs, I’d had some ideas for lyrics, some came from nowhere, somewhere influenced by past events and others influenced by people however half way through writing a song, I heard my door open slightly, I turned around slowly in case it was a crazy murderer that was going to kill me but saw Frank standing in his pyjama bottoms, he was shirtless but I didn’t really take any notice I looked him in the eye and he took a deep breath “I can’t sleep…” he whispered, I stood from my chair and walked over to him “Why, something on your mind?” I asked, he shrugged and sighed heavily “I’m scared” I placed a hand on his shoulder and lowered my head so I was level with his “Why? What’s wrong?” I asked, he shrugged again and sat down at the edge of my bed “I don’t know…I’ve been lying awake for hours, not being able to sleep, being afraid of nothing, but at the same time being afraid of everything, it took me ten minutes to convince myself I should come and talk to you about it…” I sat beside him and looked to him “well it’s hard to help you when you don’t know what’s wrong…” I mentioned again Frank sighed and let his head fall onto my shoulder “I’m confused Gerard, I’m scared and confused and I don’t know what to do.” I sighed and placed my head gently on his “Frank, I know all of this is scary, being in a new place with new people and having to try and move on from your past, but if you don’t you’ll be outcasted forever and not just because you think people think you’re weird, which you’re not, but because you won’t be able to function in society, you won’t be able to have that iconic ‘American Dream’ whatever yours might be, and it will be because you’re still dwelling on the past, I know your experiences have been bad, but moving on is a natural thing, everyone has to do it, and I don’t want to see you unhappy…in fact it pains me to see you unhappy, I care about you Frank and I’ll do everything I can to help you conquer your fears and help you battle through the pain because I just want you to be happy again…Frank…Frank?” I lifted my head and looked at Frank to see his eyes were shut and soft snores were leaving his mouth, he must have fallen asleep during my little speech, that got quite soppy at the end, god Gerard pull yourself together, Frank is in no place to want people fawning over him. I shook it off and gently placed my hand behind Frank’s neck before standing up and guiding him down to lie on the bed, I then placed my free arm under his legs and swivelled him around so his head was on the pillow and he was lying on the side facing the wall, I then walked over to the window and closed the curtains before sliding into bed and positioned myself so I was facing away from Frank, and he had as much room as possible to himself, I then closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take control.
AN~ hiyah, thanks so much for the lovely reviews so far! this is a longer chapter and the first signs of Frerard! yay, which was obvious I mean we are talking about me writing here, it's obviously Frerard, but I promise there will be other ships involved as well later on, but again thanks for the lovely reviews, some rates would be nice too but I won't force you to obviously, i can't really haha, but hope you are enjoying so far, loads of love to you all ~BLBH xoxo
I spent about two hours down there in the basement crying and wondering to myself ‘why me?’, ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ and hating myself for not being strong enough, hating myself for being so vulnerable, for being so worthless and pathetic, but what more can I do? Without Gerard’s words of wisdom or even just his presence I can’t feel safe or secure, I feel nothing but pain and loneliness.
After my personal self-loathing session I emerged from the basement, I could hear gerard taling on the phone in his room upstairs but there was no one else in the house, so I assumed Mikey and Mrs Way were still out so I made my way up stairs and into the bathroom, I grabbed some tissue and wiped my eyes and cheeks of the stale tears that had stained them and then looked up at my appearance in the mirror as my reflection stared back at me I saw the stains on my face were not of water now, but of blood, I looked down to see all my scars had opened and blood wall pouring from the wounds, I held my eyes shut tightly and prayed this wasn’t real, although I knew it wasn’t real even though every time I opened my eyes more blood would appear and the words, his words, I could hear them as if he were right beside me echoing through my mind and the pain although it was all in my head, felt so real like an intense burning on my body and stabbing pains through my back, after what felt like hours of battling with my mind I was defeated, I collapsed to the floor in a fit of screams tears streaming down my face, fear overwhelmed my body and the room temperature seemed to fall drastically, my senses failing me and all I felt was the cold temperature of my body, suddenly I felt something place itself on my forehead, it felt like a hand and I could hear muffled sounds, but I couldn’t see nor hear what was making the noises or what was touching me and slowly everything became darker like I was falling deeper into this unknown darkness and everything stopped.
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My blurry eyes opened slowly though the bright white lights blinded me momentarily it didn’t take me long to figure out where I was, I bolted up straight in the bed where I lay and breathed heavily I stretched out my hands and looked at them, my arms, my torso, my legs, everything and there was nothing there, no blood, no wounds, nothing I knew it wasn’t real but it’s so hard to distinguish what’s real and what’s false, especial with a mind like mine.
I darted my eyes around the room quickly but stopped when I felt a hand fall onto my shoulder, I flinched away violently and glared at the hands owner, but my glare faded when I saw Gerard’s face, I took a deep breath and lowered my head ashamed and embarrassed before mumbling quietly “what happened?” there was a pause, Gerard hesitating “I was going to ask you the same thing…” he replied trailing off, I glanced at him and he sighed “I-I don’t really know what happened to you Frank…one minute the hosue was silent and the next your screaming was all I heard, I bolted out of my room to see if you were okay but by the time I go to you, you were almost unconscious, you were looking in my direction, but it was like you were looking straight through me and you weren’t responding to anything I was saying, so my attempts to keep you conscious failed, I called 911 when you lost consciousness completely..” he trailed off again, he looked to the floor before whispering quietly “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone…” I shook my head “It’s happened before, a few times, but never this bad, this is the first time anyone has seen it happen to me, and the first time I’ve collapsed because of it.” I stated he looked at me with an expression of curiosity mixed with confusion “it only ever happens when I’m alone, I guess it’s like a hallucination…there’s always blood everywhere and I feel as if I’m in pain, and it’s unbearable, I know in my mind it’s not real but my body tells me differently, the pain is so real and overwhelming and I can see the blood all over me and the room, I usually close my eyes and refuse to open them as much as my mind tries to trick me into it, I guess I end up having panic attacks, I don’t really know what it is but somehow I calm myself down to a point where I can convince myself to open my eyes, and when I do it’s all gone, like it never happened and I usually cry myself to sleep or just sit in a corner and sob because I’m still scared…” I took in a deep breath “this was so real though…it was like he was there, I could hear him gerard, I could hear him as clearly as I had done when it happened, like I’d been transported back to that night…” I was now staring at nothing, my eyes watering at the thought but my attention was drawn to Gerard what he spoke “What did he say?” he asked, I looked him in the eyes and sighed
“I’ll Kill You Next Time…”
There was silence for a few minutes, no doubt Gerard was trying to think of something to say that would comfort me, but failing he sighed in frustration and defeat before mumbling “No one else knows your hear, just me mom and Mikey aren’t home yet so they don’t need to know…I’ll go and find a doctor to discharge you so we can go home…” he looked at me before walking off down the white walled corridor leaving me alone once again.
A short amount of time went by but Gerard was soon back with a doctor walking beside him, he was an older grey haired man who I assumed to be one of the senior doctors he cleared his throat and flicked through the chart that was hanging over the end of my hospital bed “Well frank you suffered from quite a serious shock, that may sound like nothing but the technical term for shock is when the blood is not circulating around the body properly and not distributing enough blood this can leave you light headed and dizzy all things I’m sure you’re aware of feeling prior to the event…but you seem to be fine now so I’m happy to discharge you but on one condition, I’ve searched the database for you and got details from your doctor in California…” my eyes widened and my breathing got increasingly heavy, the doctor waved his hand to me “Calm down your mother hasn’t been informed, your friend requested I not tell her, and as you are 17 I obliged to his request, I was only going to say that, I saw that you were diagnosed with depression two years ago but frequently refused to take the medication, now I will let you leave, and I will not tell your mother of your trip to the hospital, if you promise me you’ll start taking your medication and keep at it…” he finished, I hesitated but nodded, he nodded in return and flipped a piece of paper over the chart and began scribbling something down, before ripping off the slip and handing it to me “Take this to the pharmacy in the lobby by reception, get your meds and you are free to go.” He stated before walking away, I slowly swung my legs over the bed and let my feet touch the floor before pushing myself up off the bed to stand by Gerard “Thank you…” I whispered, he smiled at me and we walked down the corridor toward the elevator, Gerard pressed the button and we waited for a few minutes, then the familiar ding came and the lift doors opened, we stepped in and pressed the button for the lobby, it took a while to actually get to the lobby though as it stopped at almost every floor to let people out and to let more people in but when we finally got to the ground floor the place seemed almost deserted, Gerard and I walked silently to the pharmacy and waited for the woman behind it to serve us. “Hello boys, how can I help you?” she smiled, I handed her the slip in silence and she glanced at it before turning around and scanning the shelves, she then stood up with a confused expression on her face before standing on her tip toes and looking toward the far shelves at the back of the small kiosk “Sally! Have you got the anti-depressants for…Frank Anthony Iero back there?” she said in a raised voice, I cringed slightly at the sound of my full name, but I heard Gerard giggle behind me childishly, I turned to him and gave him a look of disapproval but he continued to laugh, I shook my head and rolled my eyes, the woman was now looking at me with a brown tub of pills in her hand “you take them once a day, every day.” She said in a patronising tone, like I didn’t already know, I was on them for six months before I decided they didn’t fucking work, so I stopped taking them, apparently I got aggressive and sometimes suicidal without them, that was according to my mother, I was suicidal anyway and I wouldn’t have considered myself aggressive at all, I may have shouted a little more but I was never ‘aggressive’ I took the bottle and shoved it in my pocket, I nodded to the woman in gratitude before turning around and walking toward the doors to leave.
Once we were outside the cold air hit me like a tonne of bricks, I sucked in the cold air and watched at the condensed air left my mouth like mist, I turned to see Gerard smiling at me “What?” I questioned, he shrugged “Frank Anthony Iero?” he questioned giggling, I sighed and nudged him with my elbow “Fuck off man it’s a stupid name…” he shrugged “I like it, better Than Gerard Arthur Way, Jesus I sound like I should be living in some fancy mansion in Victorian England…” he chuckled and I myself let out a small laugh and the my laugh faded and I stopped in my tracks, I looked to Gerard who was now standing in front of me “Why do you do it?” I asked, he looked at me confused “Do what?” he inquired, I sighed “Why do you treat me like I’m so…normal, no one else does, no one else ever did, I’ve always been that kid that gets left out, bottom of the food chain wherever I go, the kid that even the outcasts outcast, I’ve always been alone, but you, someone I haven’t seen for 11 years, someone I thought I’d never see again…you treat me like I’m the same as everybody else…” I finished and he smiled at me softly “There’s no such thing as normal Frank, some people have similar interests, some people don’t, some people have been through things, others haven’t, just because you have different interests, passions and experiences…doesn’t make you an outcast, it makes you who you are and as hard as it is for some people to realise that, it’s the truth, some people don’t agree with the fact others have different opinions and they are the people who won’t get anywhere in life, the people who are closed minded and selfish who only believe their beliefs and dismiss everything else as false, just because you’ve seen the darker things in the world, doesn’t make you any less special and you are Frank, you’re special and I’m not saying that to be patronising or to make you feel better, I’m just telling you truth…” he finished and placed a hand on my head and tangled his fingers through my hair he then dropped his hand and smiled at me, I smiled back at him lightly “Thanks Gerard…” I muttered, he smiled again and nodded his head “it’s fine Frank…”
Gerard’s POV
We continued the walk home in silence, although my mind was thinking of Frank and worrying about him hopelessly, the little cheerful boy I once knew was gone, and in his place was this, it broke my heart a little to see him like this, to know he was in so much pain and to know that I couldn’t just make it go away.
my thoughts were halted however when my phone began to vibrate in my back pocket, I took it out quickly making some uncomfortable ‘ah’s and ‘no’s as the vibrations rippled through my jeans and onto my butt, not a nice feeling.
I flipped it open and answered
“Yo…”
“God, Gerard never say yo again…” Mikey’s voice echoed through the phone, I laughed and shook my head “You got it what’s up?” I asked, there was a pause before he spoke again “Um, the guys have said they are up for trying again, they were wondering if they could come over tomorrow, to talk about new material, and what direction you’re thinking of going in with the sound…” I shook my head and looked to Frank who was looking at me curiously. “Sure they can come over, but like I’ve always said it’s a group decision not just me, but yeah we can talk about it tomorrow, I’ll see you at home later Mikey, bye” I hung up the phone and looked back to Frank once again who stood wide eyed staring at me “Ray and Bob are coming over tomorrow to talk about ‘band stuff’ they are nice guys, you should try and talk to them, y’know socialise, it’d be good that you have more than one person to talk to, I’m not just saying that by the way, I don’t want you to think I’m bored of you or anything, I love spending time with you, I just think it’s healthy for you to try and stretch out a little, y’know push yourself to be independent.” I stated, Frank’s eyes calmed and so did the rest of his demeanour he nodded “I’ll try, I can’t promise anything though…” he muttered, I placed a hand on his forehead and pushed his fringe from his face so he was looking at me properly “as long as you try, I’m happy. Now come on we need to get home, it looks like it’s going to rain…” I stated looking up to the sky which was now a shade of grey that would cause even the happiest person some displeasure.
We been walking for about five minutes the rain slowly starting to fall but getting increasingly heavy, as Frank and I began to run toward the house the rain was pouring down and the sound of the pellets hitting the concrete floor echoed through the street, out feet crashing through puddles are splashing up out legs, put we ran, and finally drenched head to toe, we got to the house, I violently unlocked the door and pushed it open, Frank ran in and I followed quickly slamming the door behind me, we both stood in the hallway, our hair and clothes sticking to our faces, small traces of black eyeliner had smudged down Frank’s face, we stood staring at each other for a few minutes trying to catch our breath, I started to laugh and Frank soon joined in this not helping the fact we were already out of breath, but when I saw Frank laughing and smiling and when his hazel eyes caught sight of mine in that moment his eyes were glistening with happiness, In that moment I saw the person he used to be…in that moment I gave my heart entirely to him and I knew that I would be willing to do anything to make him happy again….
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Frank’s POV
A few hours had passed since we got back from the hospital and Gerard and I, not changed into new dry clothes were sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV and waiting for Donna to come home, we were half way through an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, you know the one where Buffy’s mom dies? Yeah that one, but as I was saying half way through the front door opened and then closed again, Gerard leant his head back on the couch and shouted into the hallway “Who is it?” to which he got the sarcastic reply “Batman.” From his brother, Mikey walked into the room and waved at me, I smiled and thought of what Gerard had told me earlier before the rain hit “Hi…” I muttered, but Mikey heard me, he looked at me wide eyed and smiled, Gerard was looking at me with a beaming grin on his face “Oh it has a voice!” Mikey said jokingly, to which I fear I may have blushed, but I felt a soft nudge from Gerard and looked back up to his brother “um…” was all I said, I couldn’t think of anything else to say, what was I supposed to say to someone I don’t know, I was only really doing what Gerard had encouraged me to do and be more independent and socialise, but how am I meant to do it, what am I supposed to say? But Mikey simply looked at me and smiled “It’s okay Frank, I don’t expect you to talk for America now you’ve said Hi to me, I just hope you’re feeling a little more comfortable.” I gave him a weak smiled and nodded “Thanks.” I mumbled, again Mikey simply nodded, “I think I’m going to go to bed now anyway, I’m kind of tired, night guys…” I stated before standing up from the sofa and leaving the room, slowly walking upstairs to go to bed.
Gerard’s POV
It was a few hours later when mom came home, she greeted us as she normally does a kiss on the cheek and a hug after that the three of us had a small dinner as it was getting quite late now, I glanced to the clock after dinner and was shocked to see it was already 10:30, so I kissed my mom good night and headed upstairs to my bedroom.
I didn’t go straight to bed instead I sat at my small desk that was positioned in front of my bedroom window and started writing down some ideas for new songs, I’d had some ideas for lyrics, some came from nowhere, somewhere influenced by past events and others influenced by people however half way through writing a song, I heard my door open slightly, I turned around slowly in case it was a crazy murderer that was going to kill me but saw Frank standing in his pyjama bottoms, he was shirtless but I didn’t really take any notice I looked him in the eye and he took a deep breath “I can’t sleep…” he whispered, I stood from my chair and walked over to him “Why, something on your mind?” I asked, he shrugged and sighed heavily “I’m scared” I placed a hand on his shoulder and lowered my head so I was level with his “Why? What’s wrong?” I asked, he shrugged again and sat down at the edge of my bed “I don’t know…I’ve been lying awake for hours, not being able to sleep, being afraid of nothing, but at the same time being afraid of everything, it took me ten minutes to convince myself I should come and talk to you about it…” I sat beside him and looked to him “well it’s hard to help you when you don’t know what’s wrong…” I mentioned again Frank sighed and let his head fall onto my shoulder “I’m confused Gerard, I’m scared and confused and I don’t know what to do.” I sighed and placed my head gently on his “Frank, I know all of this is scary, being in a new place with new people and having to try and move on from your past, but if you don’t you’ll be outcasted forever and not just because you think people think you’re weird, which you’re not, but because you won’t be able to function in society, you won’t be able to have that iconic ‘American Dream’ whatever yours might be, and it will be because you’re still dwelling on the past, I know your experiences have been bad, but moving on is a natural thing, everyone has to do it, and I don’t want to see you unhappy…in fact it pains me to see you unhappy, I care about you Frank and I’ll do everything I can to help you conquer your fears and help you battle through the pain because I just want you to be happy again…Frank…Frank?” I lifted my head and looked at Frank to see his eyes were shut and soft snores were leaving his mouth, he must have fallen asleep during my little speech, that got quite soppy at the end, god Gerard pull yourself together, Frank is in no place to want people fawning over him. I shook it off and gently placed my hand behind Frank’s neck before standing up and guiding him down to lie on the bed, I then placed my free arm under his legs and swivelled him around so his head was on the pillow and he was lying on the side facing the wall, I then walked over to the window and closed the curtains before sliding into bed and positioned myself so I was facing away from Frank, and he had as much room as possible to himself, I then closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take control.
AN~ hiyah, thanks so much for the lovely reviews so far! this is a longer chapter and the first signs of Frerard! yay, which was obvious I mean we are talking about me writing here, it's obviously Frerard, but I promise there will be other ships involved as well later on, but again thanks for the lovely reviews, some rates would be nice too but I won't force you to obviously, i can't really haha, but hope you are enjoying so far, loads of love to you all ~BLBH xoxo
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