Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Stones Of Words.
Gerard’s POV
I woke up and instantly my blurry eyes fell onto Frank, who has shuffled through the night and was now lying with his head leaning on my shoulder and under my jaw, not to say it wasn’t comfortable because it was, I just didn’t want him to wake up and get creeped out, but he looks so peaceful in his sleep, like all the pain he feels has just vanished, he shuffled a little more and brought his right hand up to lay on my chest, I stopped breathing for a second in case he woke up but when he settled again I relaxed, but then his eyes fluttered open his eyes met mine and a smile formed on his face but within seconds it vanished, his eyes widened and he sat up bolt straight staring at me, his brown eyes scanning my entire face trying to read my emotions but then his gaze fell to his hand which were now fiddling with the bed sheets awkwardly, I slowly sat up so I was level with Frank, I leant my head forward slightly so I could see him, but he inhaled a breath quickly and hid his burning red face behind his dark hair. Instinctively I raised a hand and pushed his hair to the side and balancing it gently behind his ear, he flinched slightly but not much, I moved my hand to cup his jaw on the one side and gently pulled his face to mine and leaving a gentle kiss on his lips but I pulled away quickly, after realising what I was doing, what I’d just done and who it was to, he stared at me wide eyed and I stared straight back and this went on for a few minutes before Frank looked away with tear filled eyes, climbed out of the bed and began to walk toward the door “Frank I’m sorry…” I said after him but he continued to walk out of the door, I heard the door to his bedroom slam suddenly, I stood up from the bed and walked over to my desk, pushing a few pieces of paper around I found a sheet of lyrics I had started to write, and now with some emotional motivation, I feel like I can finish them.
About half an hour later I’d finished the lyrics and I saw an old battered red car pull up outside of the house and saw Ray and Bob climb out…I forgot they were coming over today, I sighed and stood from my chair got changed into some clean clothes and with the lyric sheets still in hand I headed out of my room and into the hallway, I stopped outside Frank’s door, tempted to knock and see if he was okay, but I went against it, this time alone is what he needs, and I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to see right now. God Gerard you’re such a prick it’s unreal. I continued through the corridor and made my way down the stairs and opened the front door where Ray stood his hand raised as if about to knock “oh…Hi” he said, I smiled weakly “Hi Ray, Bob…” Bob nodded as a greeting as he always seems to and both of them made their way into the house, I closed the door and the three of us headed straight toward the basement, going through the old routine was kind of nostalgic, I miss this and I miss the smell of over played guitar strings and the vibrations of the room when we get into a song, opened the door I saw Mikey standing and playing a line that wasn’t really familiar but it was pretty cool, Mikey looked up to the three of us and smiled “Toro, Bryar!” he said happily like he hadn’t seen them in months, even though he saw them yesterday, I rolled my eyes and Bob turned to me “shall we crank this shit up then or what?” I smiled and placed my hand firmly on his shoulder “Hell Yeah.” I replied.
A few hours later we’d jammed to our favourite songs, our own songs and started to brainstorm stuff for new material and I showed the guys some of the lyrics I’d written and they were impressed and they thought it’d be something interesting to work with which was great news considering one of the many reason we ended the first time was because my writing had gotten ‘weird’ and that they ‘couldn’t work with it’ but it was four in the afternoon now and we all headed back upstairs and into the kitchen where to mine and Mikey’s surprise our mother was cooking “Mom what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” Mikey asked, she looked at us and smiled “The boss gave us half the day off for some reason, I don’t really know why…” she finished still smiling before saying “Now who wants macaroni and cheese?” she said pulling out a huge bowl from the oven Ray, Bob and Mikey practically ran for the table, I followed slowly “Michael go and see if Frank wants anything…” she stated, Mikey sighed and stood up “Okay, Gerard is he still in your bedroom?” I could feel myself blushing heavily, I stared at the table and shook my head “No, he’s um…in his room.” I said slowly guilt flooding my body once again, I glanced over to Ray and Bob who were giving me quizzical looks, my mom walked over to the table and laid out some plates but when she got to me I shook my head “I’m not really hungry mom…” she tilted her head and looked at me concerned “But sweet heart you haven’t eaten all day…” I sighed “I know I’m just not hungry okay…” I finished and stood up from the table, then Mikey re-entered the room looking slightly panicked “What’s wrong Mikey?” Ray asked, Mikey who was now leaning against the door shook his head “Frank’s gone...” he stated, I stared at him “What?” he sighed “Frank’s gone I went to go and get him and he wasn’t in his room, I checked everywhere upstairs…his bedroom window was open too…” I glanced around at the others in the room and then bolted upstairs, I burst into the room to find it empty, I looked around for any more clues, but there was nothing, until I went to close the bedroom door, I noticed how empty the corner of the room looked, his guitar was missing…I ran into my room and grabbed a jacket before hastily heading back downstairs “And just where do you think you’re going?” Mom asked as I went to leave the house “I’m going to find Frank…” she shook her head “No Gerard, this is something we should report to the police, I have to call Linda…” she finished I shook my head violently “No! look give me two hours, if I haven’t found him by then, I’ll let you call the cops okay?” she nodded reluctantly “Fine…two hours that’s all your getting Gerard.” I nodded “Thank you.” I said quickly as I kissed her on the cheek before running out of the front door feeling horrifically guilty...
Half an hour later, and there was still no sign of him, I’d been to the coffee shop, his old house and now starting to give up, I was sitting on a dark green rusting bench in the local park silently thinking of where the hell he could have gone, I mean he can’t have gone far, he’d get lost, scraping my mind I finally remembered something, I stood up from the bench and walked toward the children’s play area, I opened the gate and approached the jungle gym getting quite a few looks from the parents who were there with their children, I walked behind it and placed a hand on the blue fence that surrounded the perimeter of the playground I counted three small paces along and found the loose panel, but instead of crawling through it as we used to, I jumped over the fence and through the small amount of shrubbery behind it to find myself in the neighbouring cemetery, I took a deep breath and walked through the grounds remembering the way like I’d walked it just yesterday, even though it had been eleven years. I finally came across an old oak tree that was in the far corner of the cemetery and looked out across the grounds and could see the park over the other side when you get up high enough and standing underneath I heard a gentle strumming of a guitar, I smiled to myself before looking up into the tree, all I saw was a single converse clad foot dangling from one of the higher branches, I placed a hand onto one of the lower branches and started my attempt to climb it, surprisingly I managed quite well, only I ended up on the opposite side of the tree to Frank, so he still wasn’t aware of my presence, so he continued to play guitar, but now I was higher up I could hear how his voice was quietly singing along…
“We hold in our hearts the sword and the faith
Swelled up from the rain, clouds move like a wraith
Well after all, we'll lie another day
And through it all, we'll find some other way
To carry on through cartilage and fluid
And did you come to stare or wash away the blood?
Well tonight, well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rocking out
Just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime, in my head
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
From the lights to the pavement
From the van to the floor
From backstage to the doctor
From the Earth to the morgue, morgue, morgue, morgue
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rocking out
Just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime in my head
All fall down
Well after all...”
He trailed off and slowly stopped playing; I leant my head against the tree and closed my eyes “We used to come here all the time as kids…to get away from it all…” Frank muttered to me, shocked he knew I was there I opened my eyes and peered around the tree I chuckled lightly “Well, to get away from our dads…” I saw Frank smile weakly and lean his head back “I still have scars from that…I guess I was just born to be abused…” he trailed off, the happiness from the conversation vanished and a cold atmosphere evolved and lingered over the two of us “…Frank, I’m sorry.” I stated merely as a whisper, he attempted to swivel on the branch, failing to turn all the way he settled with hanging his legs off one side so he could turn his head to face me “Gerard, you shouldn’t feel guilty about that, it was overwhelming yes, I wasn’t expecting it, but it’s the first thing anyone has done that showed me they actually care about me rather than just want me to get over it for their sake, you actually care if I get better or not for my sake…Thank you…” he finished, I sighed “It’s nice you know I want you to get better, to move on but, I just don’t think I can do it, I mean I haven’t been through anything to what you have but, I still have demons that need defeating before I can even hope to be of any actual use to you, I need to sort my own life out right now, because you’re putting your faith in me and I’m scared that I’ll let you down…and that’s the last thing I want to do…” I finished, I was now staring at the ground beneath us, I heard Frank shuffle on the branch slightly “Then talk to me…” he muttered, I glanced at him before shaking my head “Gerard, we’re friends, I’m here for you just as much as you are for me through anything, besides…who would I tell?” he finished laughing lightly, I shook my head and smiled before looking at him “You’ll think it’s stupid…” I pointed out, he rolled his eyes and jumped down from the tree, guitar in hand, I looked at him as he stood on the ground beneath me “Gerard if it’s upsetting you then it is most definitely not stupid, now get down here…” he stated, I looked around and slowly began to shuffle forward on the branch I was sitting on, before my right foot got caught and I ended up falling flat on my face into the grass beside Frank, who was laughing hysterically, I rolled onto my back and glared at him, he looked at me and instantly stopped laughing, he got onto the grass and lay down beside me “okay…talk to me.” he said, looking me in the eyes, I moved my gaze to look to the sky “I can’t Frank…” I could see him looking at me through the corner of my eye “Is it something to do with me?” he questioned, I almost said yes but quickly changed my mind “No, it’s just…I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable…” I stated, Frank laughed “Gerard if this is about you being gay, I already know, I mean one you’re far too attractive to be straight and two you fucking kissed me not three hours ago…” he pointed out, I smiled “Oh right yeah…sorry, again…wait did you just say I was attractive?” I questioned quickly turning to face him, his face turned a violent shade of red “well um yeah…I mean you are, very, and you can’t be the only gay in the village Gerard I mean p-lease!” he said adding a camp hand gesture to the ‘please’ I laughed slightly “so you’re?...” I trailed off, he nodded “Yup.” He said quite proudly and smiled at me “does…does your mom know?” I asked, he shook his head “she knows I’m not a virgin, she doesn’t have a clue it was to a guy, I think she’d kill me if I told her, but your mom is cool she’ll understand, she’s not like my mom, my mom thinks homosexuality is a disease…” he pointed out, I nodded “I just don’t know when to tell her, or how to…” he shrugged “I guess I can be there when you want to tell her, y’know for moral support…” I nodded and the pulled my phone from my back pocket, I flipped it open to see I had two missed calls from mom, I sighed and rang her back “GERARD! WHY THE HELL HAVEN’T YOU BEEN ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?! YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH!” I held the phone away from my ear so I wouldn’t go completely deaf, I could hear Mikey, Ray and Bob laughing in the background, I rolled my eyes “Mom what do you want?” I asked, in a more calmed voice she replied “have you found Frank? It’s been two hours…” my eyes widened and I took the phone from my face to look at the time, shit it had been two hours, I put the phone back to my ear “Yeah, I’m with him now…we will start making our way back home.” I answered a sigh of relief came through the phone “Okay, see you later sweetie…” and with that she hung up, Frank was now sitting up beside me and looking at me puzzled “What was that about?” He asked, “You ran off Frank, my mom almost called the police and your mom, until I asked her to give me two hours to look for you myself…” there was a brief silence before Frank shuffled forward and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug, my eyes widened in shock but I relaxed and hugged him back “Thank you.” He mumbled, I smiled “It’s okay…” I replied softly, we released each other from the hug at the same time, and we both stood up from the grass, we began to make our way home slowly, not really feeling any need to rush…
AN- sorry it's kind of a crappy chapter, it was the first thing I'd written since 'it' happened, so yeah it might seem kind of rubbish, and I put another song into it because I couldn't think of anything to write, but next chapter is already turning about to be pretty cool so hopefully you'll enjoy that one more, Rates and Reviews would be lovely ~ BLBH xoxo
I woke up and instantly my blurry eyes fell onto Frank, who has shuffled through the night and was now lying with his head leaning on my shoulder and under my jaw, not to say it wasn’t comfortable because it was, I just didn’t want him to wake up and get creeped out, but he looks so peaceful in his sleep, like all the pain he feels has just vanished, he shuffled a little more and brought his right hand up to lay on my chest, I stopped breathing for a second in case he woke up but when he settled again I relaxed, but then his eyes fluttered open his eyes met mine and a smile formed on his face but within seconds it vanished, his eyes widened and he sat up bolt straight staring at me, his brown eyes scanning my entire face trying to read my emotions but then his gaze fell to his hand which were now fiddling with the bed sheets awkwardly, I slowly sat up so I was level with Frank, I leant my head forward slightly so I could see him, but he inhaled a breath quickly and hid his burning red face behind his dark hair. Instinctively I raised a hand and pushed his hair to the side and balancing it gently behind his ear, he flinched slightly but not much, I moved my hand to cup his jaw on the one side and gently pulled his face to mine and leaving a gentle kiss on his lips but I pulled away quickly, after realising what I was doing, what I’d just done and who it was to, he stared at me wide eyed and I stared straight back and this went on for a few minutes before Frank looked away with tear filled eyes, climbed out of the bed and began to walk toward the door “Frank I’m sorry…” I said after him but he continued to walk out of the door, I heard the door to his bedroom slam suddenly, I stood up from the bed and walked over to my desk, pushing a few pieces of paper around I found a sheet of lyrics I had started to write, and now with some emotional motivation, I feel like I can finish them.
About half an hour later I’d finished the lyrics and I saw an old battered red car pull up outside of the house and saw Ray and Bob climb out…I forgot they were coming over today, I sighed and stood from my chair got changed into some clean clothes and with the lyric sheets still in hand I headed out of my room and into the hallway, I stopped outside Frank’s door, tempted to knock and see if he was okay, but I went against it, this time alone is what he needs, and I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to see right now. God Gerard you’re such a prick it’s unreal. I continued through the corridor and made my way down the stairs and opened the front door where Ray stood his hand raised as if about to knock “oh…Hi” he said, I smiled weakly “Hi Ray, Bob…” Bob nodded as a greeting as he always seems to and both of them made their way into the house, I closed the door and the three of us headed straight toward the basement, going through the old routine was kind of nostalgic, I miss this and I miss the smell of over played guitar strings and the vibrations of the room when we get into a song, opened the door I saw Mikey standing and playing a line that wasn’t really familiar but it was pretty cool, Mikey looked up to the three of us and smiled “Toro, Bryar!” he said happily like he hadn’t seen them in months, even though he saw them yesterday, I rolled my eyes and Bob turned to me “shall we crank this shit up then or what?” I smiled and placed my hand firmly on his shoulder “Hell Yeah.” I replied.
A few hours later we’d jammed to our favourite songs, our own songs and started to brainstorm stuff for new material and I showed the guys some of the lyrics I’d written and they were impressed and they thought it’d be something interesting to work with which was great news considering one of the many reason we ended the first time was because my writing had gotten ‘weird’ and that they ‘couldn’t work with it’ but it was four in the afternoon now and we all headed back upstairs and into the kitchen where to mine and Mikey’s surprise our mother was cooking “Mom what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” Mikey asked, she looked at us and smiled “The boss gave us half the day off for some reason, I don’t really know why…” she finished still smiling before saying “Now who wants macaroni and cheese?” she said pulling out a huge bowl from the oven Ray, Bob and Mikey practically ran for the table, I followed slowly “Michael go and see if Frank wants anything…” she stated, Mikey sighed and stood up “Okay, Gerard is he still in your bedroom?” I could feel myself blushing heavily, I stared at the table and shook my head “No, he’s um…in his room.” I said slowly guilt flooding my body once again, I glanced over to Ray and Bob who were giving me quizzical looks, my mom walked over to the table and laid out some plates but when she got to me I shook my head “I’m not really hungry mom…” she tilted her head and looked at me concerned “But sweet heart you haven’t eaten all day…” I sighed “I know I’m just not hungry okay…” I finished and stood up from the table, then Mikey re-entered the room looking slightly panicked “What’s wrong Mikey?” Ray asked, Mikey who was now leaning against the door shook his head “Frank’s gone...” he stated, I stared at him “What?” he sighed “Frank’s gone I went to go and get him and he wasn’t in his room, I checked everywhere upstairs…his bedroom window was open too…” I glanced around at the others in the room and then bolted upstairs, I burst into the room to find it empty, I looked around for any more clues, but there was nothing, until I went to close the bedroom door, I noticed how empty the corner of the room looked, his guitar was missing…I ran into my room and grabbed a jacket before hastily heading back downstairs “And just where do you think you’re going?” Mom asked as I went to leave the house “I’m going to find Frank…” she shook her head “No Gerard, this is something we should report to the police, I have to call Linda…” she finished I shook my head violently “No! look give me two hours, if I haven’t found him by then, I’ll let you call the cops okay?” she nodded reluctantly “Fine…two hours that’s all your getting Gerard.” I nodded “Thank you.” I said quickly as I kissed her on the cheek before running out of the front door feeling horrifically guilty...
Half an hour later, and there was still no sign of him, I’d been to the coffee shop, his old house and now starting to give up, I was sitting on a dark green rusting bench in the local park silently thinking of where the hell he could have gone, I mean he can’t have gone far, he’d get lost, scraping my mind I finally remembered something, I stood up from the bench and walked toward the children’s play area, I opened the gate and approached the jungle gym getting quite a few looks from the parents who were there with their children, I walked behind it and placed a hand on the blue fence that surrounded the perimeter of the playground I counted three small paces along and found the loose panel, but instead of crawling through it as we used to, I jumped over the fence and through the small amount of shrubbery behind it to find myself in the neighbouring cemetery, I took a deep breath and walked through the grounds remembering the way like I’d walked it just yesterday, even though it had been eleven years. I finally came across an old oak tree that was in the far corner of the cemetery and looked out across the grounds and could see the park over the other side when you get up high enough and standing underneath I heard a gentle strumming of a guitar, I smiled to myself before looking up into the tree, all I saw was a single converse clad foot dangling from one of the higher branches, I placed a hand onto one of the lower branches and started my attempt to climb it, surprisingly I managed quite well, only I ended up on the opposite side of the tree to Frank, so he still wasn’t aware of my presence, so he continued to play guitar, but now I was higher up I could hear how his voice was quietly singing along…
“We hold in our hearts the sword and the faith
Swelled up from the rain, clouds move like a wraith
Well after all, we'll lie another day
And through it all, we'll find some other way
To carry on through cartilage and fluid
And did you come to stare or wash away the blood?
Well tonight, well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rocking out
Just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime, in my head
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
From the lights to the pavement
From the van to the floor
From backstage to the doctor
From the Earth to the morgue, morgue, morgue, morgue
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rocking out
Just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime in my head
All fall down
Well after all...”
He trailed off and slowly stopped playing; I leant my head against the tree and closed my eyes “We used to come here all the time as kids…to get away from it all…” Frank muttered to me, shocked he knew I was there I opened my eyes and peered around the tree I chuckled lightly “Well, to get away from our dads…” I saw Frank smile weakly and lean his head back “I still have scars from that…I guess I was just born to be abused…” he trailed off, the happiness from the conversation vanished and a cold atmosphere evolved and lingered over the two of us “…Frank, I’m sorry.” I stated merely as a whisper, he attempted to swivel on the branch, failing to turn all the way he settled with hanging his legs off one side so he could turn his head to face me “Gerard, you shouldn’t feel guilty about that, it was overwhelming yes, I wasn’t expecting it, but it’s the first thing anyone has done that showed me they actually care about me rather than just want me to get over it for their sake, you actually care if I get better or not for my sake…Thank you…” he finished, I sighed “It’s nice you know I want you to get better, to move on but, I just don’t think I can do it, I mean I haven’t been through anything to what you have but, I still have demons that need defeating before I can even hope to be of any actual use to you, I need to sort my own life out right now, because you’re putting your faith in me and I’m scared that I’ll let you down…and that’s the last thing I want to do…” I finished, I was now staring at the ground beneath us, I heard Frank shuffle on the branch slightly “Then talk to me…” he muttered, I glanced at him before shaking my head “Gerard, we’re friends, I’m here for you just as much as you are for me through anything, besides…who would I tell?” he finished laughing lightly, I shook my head and smiled before looking at him “You’ll think it’s stupid…” I pointed out, he rolled his eyes and jumped down from the tree, guitar in hand, I looked at him as he stood on the ground beneath me “Gerard if it’s upsetting you then it is most definitely not stupid, now get down here…” he stated, I looked around and slowly began to shuffle forward on the branch I was sitting on, before my right foot got caught and I ended up falling flat on my face into the grass beside Frank, who was laughing hysterically, I rolled onto my back and glared at him, he looked at me and instantly stopped laughing, he got onto the grass and lay down beside me “okay…talk to me.” he said, looking me in the eyes, I moved my gaze to look to the sky “I can’t Frank…” I could see him looking at me through the corner of my eye “Is it something to do with me?” he questioned, I almost said yes but quickly changed my mind “No, it’s just…I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable…” I stated, Frank laughed “Gerard if this is about you being gay, I already know, I mean one you’re far too attractive to be straight and two you fucking kissed me not three hours ago…” he pointed out, I smiled “Oh right yeah…sorry, again…wait did you just say I was attractive?” I questioned quickly turning to face him, his face turned a violent shade of red “well um yeah…I mean you are, very, and you can’t be the only gay in the village Gerard I mean p-lease!” he said adding a camp hand gesture to the ‘please’ I laughed slightly “so you’re?...” I trailed off, he nodded “Yup.” He said quite proudly and smiled at me “does…does your mom know?” I asked, he shook his head “she knows I’m not a virgin, she doesn’t have a clue it was to a guy, I think she’d kill me if I told her, but your mom is cool she’ll understand, she’s not like my mom, my mom thinks homosexuality is a disease…” he pointed out, I nodded “I just don’t know when to tell her, or how to…” he shrugged “I guess I can be there when you want to tell her, y’know for moral support…” I nodded and the pulled my phone from my back pocket, I flipped it open to see I had two missed calls from mom, I sighed and rang her back “GERARD! WHY THE HELL HAVEN’T YOU BEEN ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?! YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH!” I held the phone away from my ear so I wouldn’t go completely deaf, I could hear Mikey, Ray and Bob laughing in the background, I rolled my eyes “Mom what do you want?” I asked, in a more calmed voice she replied “have you found Frank? It’s been two hours…” my eyes widened and I took the phone from my face to look at the time, shit it had been two hours, I put the phone back to my ear “Yeah, I’m with him now…we will start making our way back home.” I answered a sigh of relief came through the phone “Okay, see you later sweetie…” and with that she hung up, Frank was now sitting up beside me and looking at me puzzled “What was that about?” He asked, “You ran off Frank, my mom almost called the police and your mom, until I asked her to give me two hours to look for you myself…” there was a brief silence before Frank shuffled forward and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug, my eyes widened in shock but I relaxed and hugged him back “Thank you.” He mumbled, I smiled “It’s okay…” I replied softly, we released each other from the hug at the same time, and we both stood up from the grass, we began to make our way home slowly, not really feeling any need to rush…
AN- sorry it's kind of a crappy chapter, it was the first thing I'd written since 'it' happened, so yeah it might seem kind of rubbish, and I put another song into it because I couldn't think of anything to write, but next chapter is already turning about to be pretty cool so hopefully you'll enjoy that one more, Rates and Reviews would be lovely ~ BLBH xoxo
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