FicWad

___________________________

-Veins are tight.-
-I got here on my own.-
-Do not leave me. Ne me quitte pas..-
-Please sing this for me.-

I smack the side of my head. Pottermore’s called a team meeting, but FFN didn’t show up. Don’t get me wrong, I love that little idiot, but there are times I want to kick him in the balls, y’know? Like, Ficwad’s hurting right now. He should know that, but he doesn’t.

-Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.-

But whatever, right? Nothing I can do about that. He’s probably good. Deep down.
Very, very, deep down.

I’ve modified the armor Ficwad sent me into something a bit more...well...bitchin’!
Ficwad’s copied armor was purple and hot pink and black, and looked like what a fourteen year old girl’s idea of defense would be. Needless to say, I had to change that.
The body of my armor’s bright red, with these totally jacked white shoulders and hips. I’ve fucked around with the proportions a bit, making the shoulders and hips wider and the soles of the shoes thicker to make me taller.
I look fantastic. I look like goddamn Samus.

-Well you’ve got to look him in the eye.-
-And you gotta love your way of life.-

The chlorine gas is really thick today. I can only see a foot in front of me. God, irritating much?
Catsbysprite’s managed to waft down into the caves, and I’m just derping along the surface of LOSAP. The wind whistles through the dead trees melodiously.
I get a message from MS Paint Adventures Forum.

[MS Paint Adventures (MSPF) messaged Youtube (YTB)!]

MSPF: Hey you!
YTB: hay bac where u been
MSPF: UUUUUGH.
MSPF: Tumblr and HSG have been fighting a lot!
MSPF: I’m trying to k--E--Ep th--Em from krilling --Each oth--Er! 3:(
YTB: stop using fef’s typing quirk dude i hate her
MSPF: sorry
YTB: sucks about the fhtighing too we dont have much of that heere
MSPF: Yeah. Okay.
YTB: here man listen to this
YTB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm81M4hW2iA

MSPF: what is this?
MSPF: It’s like...canon homestuck music.
MSPF: but not!
YTB: u r dumb
MSPF: is there more?
YTB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L_gOBfGl2A
MSPF: hey I heard about your guyses Derse.
MSPF: Sorry. But have you heard of HorrorTerrors?
YTB: wut do u think
MSPF: Okay. They’re like monsters. In space.
YTB: don’t beleve u
MSPF: Really? What do you think’s been causing little girl’s nightmares?
MSPF: They’re not evil, but they sure as hell aren’t good.

YTB: k thx
MSPF: If our sessions met up, would you be okay with me?
YTB: random?
MSPF: i know, 8ut I need to know!
YTB: Sure?

He stops messaging me. I hope he’s not dead. That would really suck.

-Hey LADIES!-
-Go on, believe, if it turns you on!-

A cloud of moths bursts free from the ground, fluttering through the choking atmosphere.
Hey, look. My cabin.

My dad’s room is weirdly empty. The bed’s unmade. The closet’s open. His ties are still here.
I take them all down, scooping the horrendous little silk and polyester mistakes into my arms.
I take them with me down into the caves. My helmet comes off, and I string one down over my head. Tie it up.
I don’t feel better. So I put on all of them. Tighten them up around my face.
Not my neck. My face. They’re all sticking up in front of my face.
My helmet buzzes at my feet.

MSPF: WHAT THE FUCK.
MSPF: I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES.
YTB: I am OOUGH! A SERVANT OF TIE CTHLUTHU!
MSPF: holy fuck. you’re a tie horrorTerror.
YTB: :33333
MSPF: how many ties is that?
YTB: 27
MSPF: WHY.
YTB: b/c it’s funay! :3333333
YTB: u wanted horrorterror? WHY NOT ZOIDBERG?
MSPF: /died/
YTB: oh nu!
MSPF: /can’t reply. is died/
YTB: GET THE DOKTOR! D:
MSPF: Which Doctor, miss Bard? Doctor...Who?
YTB: YES TIME LORDS FIX TIME PLAYAS
MSPF: god you’re funny! I can’t wait to meet you!