FicWad

Don was sitting at Gerard’s bedside now that he’d insisted Mikey go home for the day. It hadn’t been easy to convince his youngest son to leave but he’d reminded him that today was special, that he and his wife needed to celebrate. So the couple had decided to go out for dinner. Don was relieved they’d left. He was glad Mikey hadn’t been here to see what had only recently happened. Again Gerard’s blood pressure had risen, his heartbeat accelerated. The doctors could find no reason for it but it had happened. Now however Gerard seemed to be resting comfortably. Don sighed as he looked at his son’s body lying in the bed. “Where are you?” He whispered. “Where is your mind?”

A nurse came in giving Don a sympathetic smile. “Hello.”

Don nodded, “He seems to have calmed down.”

She glanced at the machines surrounding the bed. “Yes, his readings are normal now.”

“I suppose his hands need to be kept restrained?” Don hated to see Gerard’s arms tied to the bed rails.

She nodded sadly, “It’s for the best.”

Slowly Don stood but was shocked when he looked closely at his son. “Uh, what’s that?” He asked pointing to a spot just above the hospital gown on Gerard’s collarbone.

The nurse moved closer to examine the area. “It looks like a bruise. I’ll make sure the doctor takes a look at it.” She turned to leave.

Don bent down to examine the red mark. He was sure it hadn’t been there earlier in the day. His mind rejected the first thought that came into it, that it looked like a hickey. “That’s impossible.” He muttered resuming his seat. He lowered his head praying the mark wasn’t a sign of more trouble.

_________________________________________________________

“Oh my.” Ayasha said softly. She was cuddled up next to Gerard who’d carried her to the sofa after their lovemaking.

“What?” He frowned seeing her staring at his body.

“Uh, I left a mark.” She explained as she gently touched the spot. “Sorry.”

He laughed, “You put a hickey on me?”

She nodded still staring at the red area. “Sorry.”

He pulled her closer, “Don’t worry about it. I like love bites.”

Still it concerned her. “I didn’t mean to.”

He stroked her arm, “Honey, pretty sure it was done in a moment of passion. That’s hot.”

“Gerard.” She giggled rolling her eyes. “I’ve never left a mark on anyone before.”

He smiled, “Good, I like that I’m your first hickey recipient.”

She was unable to tear her gaze away from the mark. “But I shouldn’t have done it. I mean what if what happens to your body here, happens to your body there?” She worried.

He thought a moment. “Actually that would be pretty damn funny. I can just imagine Mikey wondering how a guy in a coma is getting some action.”

Ayasha pulled out of his embrace, “That’s not funny.”

He was afraid he’d said something to upset her. “Really, stop worrying about it.”

She sighed, “I can’t. I’m afraid I’ve hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” He laughed, “Ayasha, love bites don’t do permanent damage. You’ve really never had one?”

The question bothered her. “I’ve never let any man leave a mark on my body.”

“But you let them leave scars on your soul.” He said softly knowing it was the truth.

Ayasha’s eyes grew wide as the truth of that statement became clear. “Yes, I have.” She moved closer to him once more. “But you’ve erased those scars.”

He smiled, “That makes me very happy to hear.”

For several minutes they simply held each other close then he spoke again. “So, how about letting me be the first man to leave his mark on your body?”

She sat up to look into his eyes, “You’ve already left your make on my soul.”

He stared into her blue eyes waiting for her to answer his question.

Ayasha smiled then slowly leaned back on the sofa turning her head, baring her neck in an unspoken invitation.

He was only too happy to accept the invitation. Covering her body with his he first kissed her lips then moved to her neck. Ayasha’s arms encircled his body.

He spoke without lifting his head, “You have to tell me if I’m doing this too hard.” Without being able to feel he worried he’d suck her skin hard enough to cause pain.

“I will.” She whispered closing her eyes as she felt him begin to suck while his fingers found her nipple. The pain was slight but the pleasure immense. When at last he lifted his head he smiled, “Now you have your first love bite.”

Ayasha laughed, “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome” he said taking her hand to help her sit back up. “Only too happy to oblige.”

Suddenly her smile faded, “Oh, shit.” Her fingers gently touched the spot on her neck.

“I hurt you?” He asked frowning.

“No, it’s not that.” She sighed, “I just realized I’ll need to hide it.”

“Why?” He wasn’t following her train of thought.

“Hopefully I’ll see your brother tomorrow. I don’t want him to see it.”

Gerard frowned, “Honey, what difference would that make? It’s not like he’d think I’d done it.”

“I know but I want to present myself as a true Medicine Woman. It’s important for him to believe that for our plan to work.”

“Pretty sure Medicine Women make love.”

She stared at him a moment then sighed, “I’m worrying too much, aren’t I?”

“Yeah” He nodded, “But I get why. Shit, it still seems so incredible that you’ll see Mikey tomorrow.”

“I hope I will.” She whispered nervously. “I hope he’ll agree to see me.”

“When you call his personal number I gave you, he’ll answer. Not a lot of people have that number.”

“But it will come up as Unknown.”

He nodded, “Yeah, but he’ll answer. Never known Mikey not to answer a call.”

Nervously she began to twist her hands in her lap. “I’ve got to say the right thing to make him agree to meet with me.”

“We’ve discussed this.” He reminded her gently, “When you tell him you’re calling because it was what I wanted he’ll agree to meet with you.”

“Only if he believes we’d met before this happened.”

Gerard hated to see her so nervous. “He’ll believe it and think about it, you won’t be lying, we had met before.”

Ayasha smiled sadly, “Not that you remember.”

“Wish I did.” He said from the bottom of his heart. “I wish I could remember that day more clearly. A beautiful woman with a beautiful heart gave me a wonderful gift and I didn't remember her.”

She reached out to stroke his cheek, “I’m just glad my gift meant something to you.”

Again in his mind he pictured the necklace. “Yeah, it did. Thank God, it did.”


________________
LA
________________

“Mikey.”

He looked up from his plate realizing his wife had been speaking but he hadn’t heard a word. “Uh, sorry. What?”

Alicia forced herself to smile, “I asked if your steak was okay because you’ve barely touched it.”

He glanced down at his plate then nodded, “Yeah, it’s good.”

“This was a bad idea.” She said softly. “Why don’t we just go?”

With a heavy heart he realized he was ruining their night out. This was supposed to be a celebration but since arriving at the restaurant he’d been withdrawn. Looking at his beautiful wife sitting across from him he wanted to more than anything to make her happy. “Hell, no. We’re celebrating.” He lifted his fork and knife to cut off a piece of steak. “How’s yours?”

“Really good but I’ve already eaten more than half I’m just so hungry.”

Mikey laughed, “Uh, is this where I say, hey it’s okay you’re eating for two?”

A smile appeared on her face. “It just seems so unbelievable.”

“Believe it.” He set down his fork then reached across the table for her hand. “You’re carrying our baby.” His eyes grew misty, his emotions so close to the surface. “Thank you.” He whispered.

Now Alicia’s eyes grew watery, “Mikey we’re gonna be good parents.”

“Of course we will. I’m not worried about that at all. We’ve got plenty of love.” He paused a moment then added, “Sorta hope it’s a girl.”

“Really?”

He nodded, “Yeah, and I hope she’ll look just like you.”

Alicia felt happier than she had all day. “Well I hope it’s a boy who looks just like you.”

Trying to forget everything for the moment except the baby he responded, “Hey, maybe you’re carrying twins and we could both get our wish.”

“Twins?” She giggled, “Oh, I think one for now is enough but that would be cool.”

His thumb caressed her fingers, “Just so it’s healthy it don’t matter if it’s a boy or girl.”

She nodded looking down at her plate. “Yeah.”

Mikey knew immediately she was worried “Alicia the baby is fine, don’t worry.”

While she wanted tonight to be happy her fears could not be quieted, “I just pray I’ll be able to carry to term.”

They both understood that health problems she’d suffered in the past could make the pregnancy high risk. “You will.” He said with emotion, “This baby is our gift.”

“Do you really feel that way?” She whispered still looking down.

At that moment he wished they weren’t in a crowded restaurant because he wanted to take her into his arms. “Yeah, I really feel that way. The life growing inside you is our gift, one were gonna treasure.”

“I love you.” She said looking up into his eyes.

“I love you, too.” He said softly. “Now let’s finish our dinner and go home.”

She was surprised by his words. “I thought we were going back to the hospital?”

“No.”

“But I know you want to spend time with Gee.” She said searching his eyes for the truth.

“Not tonight.” He said giving her hand a squeeze. “Tonight I just want to spend in your arms.”

“Oh shit.” She whispered as a tear ran down her cheek.

Mikey was shocked, “What is it? Do you feel sick?”

Grabbing a napkin she dabbed her eyes, “No, sorry. I’m just being emotional but hearing what you just said…”

He smiled, “Uh, being emotional goes with the territory too.” He realized that since Gerard’s overdose he’d been neglecting his wife. “Want me to tell you what I’m gonna do when I get you home?”

Now her tears turned to joy. “Oh is my boy feeling feisty?”

“Your boy is gonna make love to his beautiful wife” He whispered. “He’s gonna show her how much she means to him.”

“We could get a take home box.”

Mikey laughed, “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. I’m hungry right now but it ain’t for food.”

Alicia nodded feeling better than she had in a long time. “Yeah, lets go.” She said feeling her body tingle. “I want to get home.”

__________________________________________________

The day had passed so quickly, too quickly. Ayasha had wanted it to last forever but now night had claimed the land. Gerard had just finished washing the dinner dishes when she returned from her shower.

He smiled when he saw her enter the kitchen. “Feel better?” He’d hoped a hot shower would have eased her nerves.

“I’m fine.” She answered falsely.

He glanced over at the clock. “Hate to say it but you’re gonna have to go to sleep soon. You’ve got to get up really early.”

The casual statement caused all the fears she’d been holding back to surface. “I’m not planning on sleeping tonight. I can sleep on the plane tomorrow.”

He’d been afraid of this. “Sugar, the flights aren’t that long, don’t forget you have to transfer planes. You have to get some sleep.”

His words of concern only served to upset her. “Stop telling me what I have to do. I’m a grown woman I’ll sleep if I want.” She crossed her arms unable to control her emotions. “Unless you want me to sleep because I’m bothering you.”

Her anger shocked him at first but a moment later he understood. She was scared plain and simple. “Ayasha.” He said softly.

She was to the breaking point, this was their last night together, didn’t he understand that, wasn’t it important to him? Suddenly she hated how much she loved him, how vulnerable it made her feel. Her heart was about to be broken and she needed to stop it. “Fine.” She said nodding, “You’re right, I need to sleep.” With that she turned and fled the kitchen. A moment later he heard her bedroom door slam.

When he opened that door a moment later he saw her small form curled up in the bed facing the wall. Quickly he shed his sweat suit then crawled in beside her. She didn’t move.

Gently he tugged at the hem of her gown lifting it up her body. She offered no resistance when he pulled it completely off then threw it to the floor. However she still was facing away from him.

“Ayasha, I love you.” He whispered molding his body to hers. “So damn much.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

He brushed her long hair away to kiss the back of her neck. “No reason to be sorry, I understand. I’m scared too.”

She turned in his arms to face him. Through the shadows she saw the love in his eyes. “I have to do this because I love you.”

He understood she was talking about leaving tomorrow.

“But heaven help me, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to.” Her voice was raw, “And I hate that.”

He hated to see the pain in her eyes. “You don’t have to go.”

“Of course I do. We both know this can’t last forever. You can’t remain in this limbo. You have to go back to your life. I want that for you.”

“I want to go back to living.” He whispered, “But I don’t want to leave you.”

She had to make him understand, “Opal told me the necklace will help you find your way through the darkness to the cross roads. There you must make your decision to go back to life without any hesitation.”

The image of the crossroads she’d painted flashed through his mind. “It’s a frightening place.” He whispered.

She reached out to stroke his cheek, “You will go there knowing your decision is made. You will awaken from the coma.”

“But I will leave you behind.”

His words caused her heart to skip a beat. “You can’t think that way. Promise me, you won’t.”

He nodded slowly, “I promise you I will chose to go back to my life. But when I do, I will take our love with me.”

Ayasha knew it wasn’t true. She blinked rapidly to stop her tears. “I will always love you.” She said in a haunting tone. She pressed her body to his. “Now make love to me, please.” In her heart she knew this was their last chance to make love. She wanted this last memory to last her forever.

Their lovemaking was slow, it was beautiful.

Hours later when sleep finally claimed Ayasha Gerard stared down at her trying to memorize every feature of her face. He knew she believed this was their last night together, the last time they’d make love but in his heart he couldn’t believe that. This woman had taught him so much about himself, she’d made him whole.

He slipped from the bed careful not to wake her. There was something very important he had to do. Walking into the living room he crossed over to her desk. There he saw the letters he’d written before, one to Ayasha and one to Mikey. At the time he’d written them he’d believed he’d never awaken from the coma, he’d believed he die. But now that had changed. He would be given his second chance to make things right.

Once he found a piece of stationary and an envelope we moved to the kitchen table. There he began to write the letter. This letter would be his insurance policy, it would guarantee he’d never forget this love he’d found. It took almost an hour to complete and by the time he was done he was feeling weak. He got up from the table to head towards the bedroom. He needed to be near Ayasha, his strength. As he slipped back into bed he gently pulled her into his arms. She stirred but remained sleeping. For the rest of the night he held her close, stared at her face, he found strength.


When early morning came he gently kissed her lips.

Ayasha’s eyes opened, “It’s morning?”

“Yeah, time for you to wake up.” He said a touch of sadness in his voice.

She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves which had jumped into high gear. “Right, I have to get dressed.”

“I’ll make you a quick breakfast.”

Slowly she sat up. “Please don’t. I can’t eat anything.”

He sighed, “Just promise me you’ll grab something to eat later, okay?”

Knowing in her heart this was to be the hardest day of her life she nodded then slipped from the bed. Gerard sat up watching her as she chose the clothing she would wear. He was still sitting in bed when she returned a few minutes later from the bathroom.

Ayasha smiled slightly as she held up the clothing she was about to don. “I think it’s important I look the part.”

He’d already realized why she’d chosen the clothing. “I like that outfit on you. You’re gonna wear that necklace Tom gave you too, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” She nodded as she pulled on a fresh pair of panties.

He leaned back against the headboard letting his eyes enjoy the view.

Ayasha pulled on the long denim skirt then lifted her bra.

“Hate to see you put that on.”

She knew he was trying to lightening the mood. “I’m not going bra-less.” She smiled.

When she pulled on her western style shirt he asked, “Uh, gonna wear your cowboy boots?”

Heaven help her, her body blushed at the memory of the last time she’d worn them for him. “Yes.”

“I really like those.” His voice was deep and smooth.

“Stop that.” She said turning away from him. “You’re trying to distract me.”

“Can’t help it.”

Ayasha finished buttoning her shirt then reached for her thin stockings. Once they were in place she slipped her feet into the boots.

“Love those boots.” He said softly.

It has hard to keep her mind on the task at hand but she knew she must. She moved to the mirror to give herself a quick glance.

“You look beautiful.”

She turned to face him. “Thank you. But I need to fasten this necklace for me.” She explained walking towards the bed with it in hand. She handed it to him then sat down.

Gerard carefully placed it around her neck making sure it was fastened securely. Once he was done she turned to face him. “Now I need you to braid my hair.” She said looking into his eyes.

He smiled, “You sure? I know you’re better at braiding.”

“I want you to do it.” She said pulling the coated rubber bands off his wrist. “Please.”

He nodded then grabbed the comb from the bedside table. Once her hair was parted he began to braid the first side. When it was done she turned so he could do the other. “There.” He said as the last rubber band was in place. “Uh, you might want to check in the mirror and make sure it’s okay.”

Ayasha was staring into his eyes, “I’m sure it’s okay, I’m sure it’s perfect.” Suddenly she glanced over at the clock. “Okay, then. I think I’m ready.”

He grabbed her hands. “I have to tell you something that’s very important.”

“What?”

Now he was staring into her eyes words failed him. “Fuck, there is so much I want to say to you.”

Ayasha smiled sadly, “Gee, we’ve said everything there is to say. Our hearts have spoken to each other time and time again.”

Pure love for this woman coursed through his body. “Yeah, that’s true. But I need you to promise me something.”

She stared into his eyes, “Of course. What?”

He took her hand in his, “On your desk is a letter I wrote a few hours ago. When I come out of the coma I know it’s gonna take me some time to recover but if several weeks go by and you haven’t heard from me I want you to promise you’ll mail the letter.”

She tilted her head, “Who’s the letter for?”

He smiled slowly, “Me.”

His answer caught her off guard. “You wrote yourself a letter?”

“Sure did.” He nodded. “I get you think I’ll have no memory of our time together..” He saw her start to speak so he quickly placed his finger over her lips to silence her. “I don’t think that but I know you do. Anyway, this letter is just in case.”

She honestly didn’t know what to think, how to respond.

Gerard smiled, “Honey, it’s my right to send myself a letter.”

“But what did you say?”

He laughed, “Just talking to myself really. Reminding myself of some important things.”

“Gee, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” She said slowly. “Maybe you’re not meant to remember our time together.”

He frowned, “Why the hell not? Our time together had made me realize so many things, things I need to realize. I’m gonna come out of the coma and I’m gonna be a better man, this I promise not just you but myself.”

Her nerves were making her stomach flip. She searched her mind for something to say.

Gently he touched her cheek. “Promise me”

There was nothing she wouldn’t promise this man she loved with all her heart. “I promise.” She whispered.

Gerard glanced over at the clock. Sadly he said, “Okay my brave girl, it’s time for you to leave.”

“Yes.” She nodded, “It is time.”

She stood but noticed he remained still.

“Aren’t you going to walk me to the door?”

Gerard had given this much thought through the night. “No, I want to remain here, in our bed.”

It took all her willpower not to cry. “Oh.”

He forced himself to go on, “This is where we made love. I want those memories to be with me when the darkness comes.”

She nodded overcome by emotion. “The darkness will not hold you.”

“I believe.” He smiled.

She leaned down, kissed him once more than started for the bedroom door. However, as Gerard watched, she suddenly stopped.

For several moments she stood unmoving. “Ayasha?”

When she turned he saw the tears flowing down her cheeks. Slowly she walked towards him. His eyes locked with hers as she sat back down. She took his hands in hers then lifted them to her face.

“I want you to feel one last time before I go.” She whispered.

He was speechless. The feeling of moisture on his fingers, the fact that she was allowing herself to cry for him was overwhelming. He gently caressed her cheeks allowing her tears to not only make him physically feel but allowing them to touch his heart. Ayasha moved even closer. Gerard understood. He pulled her into his arms, now his lips touched her cheeks, they too could feel.

“I love you.” He whispered over and over again against her face as he could feel the wetness of her tears, he could not only feel but taste the saltiness.

Finally she forced herself to sit back. “I love you too.” She whispered.

“Thank you.” He said staring into her eyes, her soul.

On shaky legs she stood. She needed to give him strength. “The next time you awaken for the darkness you will have returned to your life. That is what I want more than anything in the world for you.”

He knew she had to leave. “I love you, Ayasha.”

She walked towards the doorway. Turning once more she smiled, “I love you, too.”

He lay back against he pillow but his eyes were still on her retreating form. “Be tsu li tisv ya s di my beautiful girl.”

She turned once more, knowing this would be the last time she’d see him in her bed, in her life. “I am tsu li tisv ya s di. I will be tsu li tisv ya s di for you.” With that she turned and left the room.

Gerard could here her gathering up her things. When he heard the front door open he muttered a silent plea, “Please keep her safe.” Then the room started to grow dark, He closed his eyes feeling the darkness growing nearer. This time he welcomed the darkness, still afraid but knowing in his heart it held the key to the light.