FicWad

Chapter 20

And Should I Be Shocked Now, By The Last Thing You Said?

“Hey, Trist, could you step out in the hall for a couple minutes?” Frank asked me while still eying Gerard with suspicious and judging eyes. He was the second and only other one in the world to call me Trist. What the hell? I thought you were ok with this. Frank, don’t do anything stupid. Please. I love him. I’ve never told him those words, but I do.

I stared at Frank for a moment, and then slowly made my way to the door, looking over my shoulder back at Gerard, whose face was ghostly white and his eyes were blood shot. His face was sad, but stern. I could see that look I hate. The one that scares me, hiding behind his hazel eyes…

I opened the door to meet Ray’s face. He was standing against the wall of the hall, waiting for us to come out. I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me. Ray looked down at me with questioning eyes.

“They…um…want to talk for a moment,” I answered his unspoken question while crossing the hall, putting my shirt back on, and leaning against the wall just like Ray.

We stood there in silence.

Meanwhile inside the room.

Frank and Gerard stared at one another in silence for what seemed like a very long time.

Frank stepped forward with a wild look in his eyes, making Gerard take a step back away from him.

“Are you insane?!” Frank spat, making Gerard instantly uncomfortable in the tiny back room of the club.

Gerard stared at him, “No. What the hell, Frank?” Gerard questioned him. Frank seemed ok when Tristan was in the room, now he’s going crazy.

Frank huffed, “I don’t know what you’re thinking. She’s sixteen fucking years old! How long has this been going on?” Frank demanded answers, showing Gerard he wasn’t happy with this new development.

Gerard couldn’t think. His friend was angry and it was over his relationship with Tristan. Tristan. Frank’s little sister. Tristan Iero from down the block. The girl his mother baby sat and made him babysit for years. Gerard knew this couldn’t go on. He had to make Frank see that he wasn’t going to hurt Tristan. That he cared very deeply for her. He had never felt this way about any other person in the entirety of his life. He knew this was different and he wasn’t letting her go.

“Frank, calm down,” Gerard breathed. Frank shook his head trying to not hit Gerard in his face. Jesus Christ. Gerard thought that Frank cared about him and his feelings for Tristan, but he could see he was far off. Frank was being the big brother at this moment in time. The short and macho Frank that scared everyone was standing in front of Gerard at this very moment. He was always so fun and care free, but when it came to anything to do with Tristan, his attitude came out.

“Do you know what our father will do if he finds out? He’ll call the police. He’ll call the police and you’ll be labeled as a goddamn pedophile. Tristan is so young, Gerard. Are you having sex with my little sister?!” Frank questioned, trying not to look wild eyed. Gerard stared at him in disbelief. Gerard’s mouth dropped and he couldn’t think or say a word for a moment, this angered Frank, who stepped forward once more in Gerard’s direction.

“N-No,” Gerard choked out trying to contain his anger. He was in complete disbelief over Frank’s accusation. “No. I am not pressuring her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, Frank. I care for her too much to do that. I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you would think I would do something like that. Like that was the only reason I was with your sister was to fuck her,” Gerard couldn’t shake that feeling. “I am more of a fucking gentleman than that, Mr. Iero!” Gerard was seething.

Everything in the room was so tense and unrelenting. The space between them had grown smaller with the two men staring with rage filled eyes at each other.

Frank stared at him, not blinking, “I know I can’t stop this now. How long has this been going on?” Frank questioned trying to calm down. He needed to know that it hadn’t been going on for very long behind his back. Betrayal and lies was all he saw from Tristan and Gerard at this moment.

He was angry at Gerard for keeping it from him and for also being with his younger sister; his little sister. He didn’t want to be angry over them being together, because this explained so much with them being happier and sneaking off a lot, but he was. He was also angry at Tristan. He felt betrayed and like she didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth about her personal life; like they hadn’t grew up together in the same home.

Gerard took a breath, feeling a pull to tell the truth, “Well we have technically been together since Pride on May 13th. But if you want to know how long we have been drawn to each other, I would have to say since last summer. I never pursued anything until…” Gerard stopped, knowing Frank didn’t know about Tristan’s suicide attempt the day after their birthday, last year. Gerard cleared his throat, “Um until her birthday, really. I never did anything to pressure her into anything, in fact, I tried to keep my distance and stay away from her, but we kept coming back to each other.” Gerard sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration, “I don’t know what you want me to say. I care about her. Deeply.” Gerard was head over heels in love with her, but he didn’t have the balls to tell her or anyone for that matter, just yet.

Frank’s face visibly changed from seething to softer when Gerard let the last word fall from his lips. Deeply. Frank couldn’t deny that fact at all. Gerard had always taken care of Tristan; all her life.

“Man this is a big deal. Tristan is my baby sister. I don’t want to see her hurt and especially not from you. We are in a band together too. You need to think about all of this. What if you guys break up? What if it doesn’t work out? Gerard….I don’t know what to say. I want you to be happy. I want Tristan to be happy. I know she cares for you,” Frank had calmed down a bit, but there were so many questions and factors to take into account.

Gerard let him talk and ask all his questions. He knew where Frank was coming from, but he also knew that he was in love with Tristan. He knew they couldn’t be apart any longer. He couldn’t do it and he knew Tristan couldn’t either.

Frank backed down from his position of getting ready to kick Gerard’s ass. He knew he had overreacted with Gerard. He knew Gerard was a really good guy who did actually care for his sister. He could see Gerard wasn’t lying. He could also see that since he had caught them that it was better to have it out in the open than to have all those secrets behind his back. Frank still felt betrayed, but he decided it wasn’t worth losing his friend over.

“Just don’t hurt her,” Frank finished, still looking up into Gerard’s eyes, searching for deception.

“I didn’t plan on it,” Gerard breathed, feeling relief.

Out in the hall:

Ray and I stood there in silence, listening to the music blare out in the club. I felt strange and so small next to him, since he towered over me by a foot or more.

“So, you and Gee, huh?” Ray smiled down at me. I looked up into his brown eyes and they looked so kind and inviting. Sigh.

I took a deep breath, “Yes,” I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Say something, please.

“Just be careful, Tristan. You are guys are walking a fine line. I can see the difference in him in the last few weeks, so I’m assuming that this has been going on for a few weeks, now. I can see how happy he is and now I know why,” Ray was rambling, but was kind of giving us his blessing in a way. I know. I am careful.

“I know. I’m careful,” I couldn’t shake what he wasn’t saying. Like did he really approve or was he just trying to be nice?

“TRRRRIIIISSSSSSTTTTTAANNNNNN!” Priscilla squawked as she came down the hall toward Ray and me. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Really?! Are you that drunk?!

She leaned on me and smiled, “Where did you go?” I could smell alcohol on her breath and she was falling all over me. “Come on, come back and dance!” Priscilla whooped in a cheer of joy, taking my hand and leading me down the hall to the inside of the club again. I looked over my shoulder back at Ray and waved. He chuckled and waved back.

As soon as we hit the dance floor, I had a drink thrust into my hand and I just let go and drank it down as fast as I could. I was scared of what was going on behind the closed door with Frank and Gerard. What are they talking about? What is going on? Frank, please don’t fuck this up! I need him! I need him so much!

I drank even more once I got around Jamia and Hannah on the dance floor. Hannah was upset because Mikey had broken up with her earlier that night, but she stayed to drink her pain away. I felt sorry for her. I’m sorry Mikey did that to you. He did it because she was going away to college on the West coast after the summer and we were gonna be busy the entire summer with touring and the band. I still felt bad for her, but she has a chance to start a new relationship when she reaches her college.

Hannah put her arms around me and danced while hugging me. I let her till she stalked off to go home with other friends. I wasn’t on the dance floor maybe a half hour before I was so drunk I could barely keep myself upright. Dammit! Why did I drink so much? I’m an idiot!

The room was spinning and it was so hot. I need air! I started to shove through the crowd but tripped over someone’s foot, sending me to the ground.

I laid there giggling and laughing at myself till I saw a small hand shoot through the air toward me; beckoning me to taking it. I tried to find the person the hand belonged to, but was unable, so I took a chance and placed my hand within theirs.

They pulled me up to standing once more and I came face-to-face with my savior; hand still holding mine. A young and beautiful woman that was slightly taller than me with extremely long black hair longer than mine that was straight and she had side swept bangs. What stood out were her eyes, they were a bright green and were almost baby doll like. She had a half smoked cigarette hanging from her full lips and she was grinning. I noticed her off the shoulder band t-shirt and skinny jeans. She looked so much like me it was crazy. I instantly knew in my drunken haze that I liked this girl.

“You ok?” She yelled in a British accent. Whoa, where are you from? I smiled at her, letting her know I was fine.

“I’m fine. Thank you!” I answered, stilling holding her hand in mine. She finally pulled it back and took the cigarette out of her mouth.

“I’m Taylor Shaw!” She spoke over the loud music of the club

“Tristan Iero!” I smiled while trying to keep my footing. I was too drunk to stand up straight and was swaying a bit. Taylor could see that.

“From My Chemical Romance?” Her mouth dropped as she questioned me. I nodded yes.

“You know us?” I asked, still feeling the dizziness and the club was becoming a blur around me of people dancing.

“Are you kidding? I’ve seen five of your shows! You guys are the best!” Taylor gushed while taking a drag off her cigarette, dropping the butt on the ground and stepping on it with her converse. She blew the smoke out above her, “I can’t wait for the album next month.”

I thought for a moment, pulled out a sharpie from my pocket from Gerard’s art stuff from earlier and said, “Hey, give me your number and I’ll make sure you get one of the first copies!” I gave her my arm. She yelped in excitement while taking my arm and writing her name and number on my arm.

“You are awesome! Thank you!” She squealed and I knew from here on out that this girl would be special to me. We both made our way to the bar, even though I was so drunk I could barely walk, we ordered drinks and went back out onto the dance floor together to dance.

We danced and drank for a bit, both of us laughing and enjoying each other’s company. This was different. I never really felt close to any other woman in my life, but Taylor was different. You are so cool! British and shit! So damn cool! I was too drunk.

I continued to hang out with her on the dance floor until I felt arms snake around me, turning me to see Gerard’s frustrated face. You look like you’ve been through hell! What is wrong? Is Frank being an ass? I knew he would! Don’t do this to me, Frank!

I frowned and he held me tighter. I wondered what had gone on in that room with my brother and my boyfriend. Are you ok? I couldn’t see his face now, because the song had slowed down and he held me against his chest as we danced.

I knew I was wounding down and I was becoming sleepier as the song went on. Gerard was holding me up now until I fell into the darkness, passing out.

Dammit, Tristan! Gerard wasn’t too pleased with his girlfriend passing out on him right here. The club was thinning out and Gerard lifted Tristan up into his arms. She was passed out cold, drunk. Gerard didn’t want to wake her, but he would have to talk to her about this mess in the morning.

Gerard waved Mikey over to tell him that he was headed to the van. Mikey was supposed to get Priscilla because they were taking her home.

Gerard left the club with Tristan in his arms and went to the van.

Mikey walked out and walked toward the van with a very drunken Priscilla trailing behind him, “Moikey!!!!” Mikey rolled his eyes and Priscilla called after him.

“Just come on, Priscilla,” Mikey called after her. There were people coming out of every exit of the club and it was making Mikey nervous about losing Priscilla in the vast crowd.

“Sloooowww downnn, Moikey!” Priscilla cried before nearly running into Mikey, because Mikey stopped to let her catch up. Mikey then helped her to the van.

Mikey got in the passenger seat with Gerard driving, “Let’s go home,” Mikey said as Gerard pulled out onto the street and headed back to Belleville, New Jersey.


The cold porcelain is making my pounding head feel better as I lay my head on the cover of the toilet seat in Gerard’s bathroom. I had downed just a little too much alcohol, and as a result I’ve spent the night in the bathroom, keeping my regurgitation of the alcohol as quiet as I possibly could, but Gerard sat in the floor of the bathroom with me for hours as I puked.

It was maybe ten in the morning and Gerard was sitting in the bathroom floor, rubbing my back as I lay sick against the toilet. I had awoken him because of my vomiting. He was passed out with me earlier on his bed, still fully clothed and sick. I awoke feeling so sick and ran to the bathroom, nearly not making it.

I groan, “I am never ever drinking again,” I said as I buried my head deeper into my arms.

Gerard let out a quiet laugh and said, “You said that last time, Trist.” I rolled my eyes, but he couldn’t see my sarcastic face.

I scoff, “Well, this time I mean it.” Why had I drunk so much? “I gotta tell you something,” I lifted my head, meeting his tired blood shot eyes. He was still rubbing my back to try to comfort me as I had been sick for hours now.

He cocks his eyebrow at me, “What is it?”

I swallow, trying to hold back vomit, “Um….somehow Priscilla found out about us. She saw us at Blaine’s the other night,” I began, studying his face for concern, “She also told Jamia.” As soon as the words came out, I had to puke again.

Gerard let me finish before he said anything. He took a deep drag off his cigarette, “So Jamia, Frank, Ray, Priscilla, and Matt all know. That only leaves Mikey and he wasn’t happy about us before when he only thought it was happening,” Gerard blew the smoke out slowly, “I don’t know if I should just tell him or let them tell him.” Gerard was deep in thought as I scooted over to him and laid my head against his shoulder. He put his arm around me and ran his hand down my side in a sweet manner.

“Maybe just tell him, Gerard. He deserves that much from you and I. He doesn’t need the group telling him about us. I think that is why Frank was so mad. We didn’t tell him what was going on with us. We were hiding it from everyone,” I explained. I still felt sick, so comfortable with lying against him and the bathroom wall.

“I know you’re right,” Gerard answered while taking another drag off his cigarette. I reeked of alcohol and sweat and he still held me close.

I jerked forward and puked again into the toilet. Gerard then got up to get me a cold washcloth to wash my face and, he wouldn’t let me use it myself. He washed my face softly and delicately. Why does this man make me feel so good?

Gerard ran the washcloth over my face once more, “I really wish you wouldn’t do that again,” he scolded me a bit. He then helped me to my feet. I leaned against him, listening to his heart beating against me.

That is when Mikey showed up in the doorway, looking hungover and surprised, “What the hell are you guys doing?” He asked through gritted teeth. Gerard and I looked over to meet his face.
Gerard jerked giving Mikey a scary, but stern look that I couldn’t see. I watched Mikey’s face change from furious to fear.

“If you must know, Mikey, I was taking care of my girlfriend. She’s sick and it is my duty to make her feel better,” Gerard spoke like an older brother would to a little brother throwing a tantrum. He said I was his girlfriend. Girlfriend. He said it out loud! It was so strange hearing those words come out of his mouth.

Mikey’s mouth gaped, as did mine, “Do you think that’s a good idea?” He asked, trying not sound angry. He was just concerned for his brother and his friend.

“It’s a fine idea. Don’t worry about it Mikes,” Gerard shrugged him off. I could tell Gerard was through talking about our relationship to everyone and trying to tell all of them it was our decision. He was sick of explaining his feelings to everyone. I don’t blame him.

“Ok. Frank called; they are coming over to hang out later. That’s why I came down here,” Mikey explained while backing up and heading up the stairs to stop himself from saying anything that he might regret.

I looked up at Gerard. He was staring off into the space Mikey had just left, probably feeling so good about himself.

Gerard finally looked down at me with fire in his eyes, “What, sugar?” I smiled cause of how happy he was at the moment.

I sighed, “You are a mess, Mr. Way.” I smiled, “Alright I think I can take this from here,” I said while coaxing him out of the bathroom, so I could shower. He was smiling as I closed the door and I knew this was going to be a great thing.