FicWad

In the span of the last few days I finally crawl out of my shell and admit to myself that I do have some feelings for Ryan. Feelings not falling under the category of love, more like a crush. I know I shouldn't. I always have to repeat myself: He's Dallon's butler. Unfortunately, I don't know how long I can handle just looking from afar.

~~~

"Brendon?" Dallon says from the other room.
"Yeah?" I say, muting the t.v. for a moment.
"I'm gunna go out for a bit." He says. His voice seems to be coming closer as I adjust to the side to notice him walking in the room, "Would you like to come along? We could grab something to eat after."
I think twice about this. If Dallon leaves, then it would just be Ryan and me. Well I'm not going to pass up this opportunity.
"Nah, thanks for the offer though."
"Alright. See you in a few hours then." He starts making his way to the door before saying, "If you need anything, you can ask Ryan."
"Kay..." I reply. Sounds good to me.
For a moment I want to jump out of my seat and go looking for him, but then I think twice. Probably a bad idea. It would make me seem like I'm desperate.
I watch some more t.v. and just have my mind set on the notion that I'll see him around soon enough. In the span of an hour, I give up on watching some documentary on The Police and head upstairs. I walk into my room and leave the door open, casually waiting to see if he would appear. Mindlessly flipping through magazines I have the tendency to hear his footsteps but I never see him. Not even a silhouette.
It's another fifteen minutes and I think to myself: If I go see him now, he must get the idea that I'm simply bored and in much need of someone to talk to.
I get up from sitting on the bed and begin to walk around to the other rooms up here in search of him.
Finally I hear a door from Dallon's room creak slightly. Bingo. As I make my way into his room it's definitely bigger than the rest of them. He even has a balcony where I see Ryan resting his arms on.
I walk over slowly, just making sure he won't really hear my footsteps. As I walk onto the balcony, a cool breeze hits me. The air smells sweet, and the sunset closing in is definitely a sight to see. Ryan looks over to see me.
I quickly say, "Hey."
"Hey." He replies.
Right as he looks away, somehow the atmosphere becomes awkward. I pay strong attention to the falling sunset and think of what to talk about. In my peripheral vision I notice him take out something from his pocket. I look over briefly to notice he has a pack of cigarettes. He takes one out along with a liter and I just watch him. I should avert my gaze eventually but instead I find an excuse to keep looking at him,
"So how are you?"
"I'm fine." He says, putting the cigarette between his lips as the little flame flickers on the edge of the lighter.
"That's good." I reply... how everybody replies.
I watch him take in a deep breath and hang his mouth open as the puff of smoke trails slightly before letting his breath go.
He looks at me again, our eyes making contact, fuck. This definitely just got awkward.
He says, "Want one?" And motions the pack of cigarettes towards me.
"No thanks."
"Alright." He puts them back in his pocket and watches the sunset again.
I do the same, looking at the oranges and reds sink into the mountains.
I think of something else to say before he speaks up, "I barely get the chance to smoke out here."
He never really seemed like the person to smoke, I ask him, "Oh, why?"
"Part of the job says I can't." He says before taking another long drag and gently puffing out smoke. It's almost suggestive even though I find nothing very attractive in smoking.
Once again I attempt to strike up a conversation, "So... how long have to been here?"
"Eh, about a few months, around half a year at least."
"Do you... like it here?"
"It's nice. Pretty roomy."
"That's for sure. This is probably one of the largest balconies I've ever seen." Wow, way to say what comes to mind.
He chuckles very slightly, "Yeah."
Goddamn... I'm not good at this. I take a few breaths and somehow I don't find anything else to talk about. This is our first time actually having a conversation anyway.
I look back at his face, his eyes are glued to the reds and oranges. It's the perfect photo op. He then looks at me, I hesitate as a smirk rises on his lips. He flicks his cigarette. I contemplate several reactions, but none seem to fit the picture. There's no words coming out of his mouth... no words coming out of mine. He is so flirting with me. I can feel a chill run down my spine. I avert my gaze and attempt to regain composure by running my fingers through my hair and focusing on the dimming brightness of the sky.
I don't look at him again. If he picked up anything from me, I will surely never forgive myself.
In my peripheral vision, I see him walking over to me. His body is now dangerously close to mine. His lips fall close to my ear as he says, "If you ever want to have a smoke, let me know."
Another chill. His voice.
I swallow hard as I hear him walk back into Dallon's room. I take another breather before seeing a car coming up the street. Dallon's back.
I walk out of his room and head down the stairs to greet him.
As soon as he walks in the door, I say, "So how did it all go?"
"It went well, I stopped by the music company today, oh and I got you some food."
He fishes through one of the bags and hands me a sandwich.
"Thanks." I say.
I eat it at the table briefly before walking into the den. Dallon is at the computer. He sees me.
"Hey Brendon do you think you could possibly think of any final touches to the track. I think I'm going to sleep early tonight, I'm exhausted."
"Yeah that's fine." I tell him. Just a few hours out and he's already extremely tired? I don't question it much because he was awake an hour or so before me today.
He gets up and starts walking to the stairs. He tells me, "Night."
"Goodnight, man." I say as I take a seat at the computer.
I contemplate for a good fifteen minutes if anything should be added. It's a great song already.
I play the song over and over and over again until I realize that in the morning, I should just let Dallon know I had nothing to add.
As soon as I shut down the computer I hear something coming from upstairs. It's very muffled and I become curious.
I walk up the stairs slowly and make my way down the hallway. Instantly I realize it's coming from Dallon's room. I'm not even 5 feet away and I hear... moaning?
The closer and closer I go the more I realize it's Dallon's voice. I start to make out his words and realize he's whining Ryan's name. It's not long until I hear Ryan's voice... his moans. They... were having sex.