FicWad

I returned to my new apartment thinking of anything that would take my mind off Frank, but nothing prevailing. It had been just over a year since I walked away from the man who had my heart for literally half of my life and after the first few weeks of consistent phone calls, messages and emails they had now stopped completely. There had been no one new on the scene after deciding I needed to spend sometime alone, that and the fact a part of me was still hoping Frank would get better, I didn't want anyone else but him.

"You have one new message," the answering machine on my house phone began once I'd pressed the button. "Message one." The female voice disappeared and was replaced by a soft, silky voice belonging to my best friend. "Hey Nina, guessing your out or at work so just ringing to invite you to my party for Killjoys coming out. It's only a small thing at the office but I'd love it if you can come. Ring me when you get home." Gerard's message ended, I picked up the phone dialling the number I new better than my own.
"Hey Ne" he spoke out after a short while "guessing you got my message, it's tomorrow at 8, if your interested." He filled me in on the details and dress code before we had a usual gossip. "There's one more thing," he pause before continuing, "Frank's coming too." He spoke out quietly. I'd been waiting for this time to come, we had the same circle of friends so it was only a matter of time, in actual fact I'm surprised it hasn't happened months ago.
"Gee your my best friend it doesn't matter, I want to come show my support for you." I tried to sound confident whilst inside my heart was pounding.
"Nina," Gerard started seriously, "he has a new girlfriend. I asked him not to bring her but i think he's going too." I heard the concern in his voice. "They seem pretty serious." He added, waiting for my response.
"Oh." I said flatly, my insides now crumbling and breaking. Of course I knew this was going to happen, he's Frank Iero, any girl would be crazy not to be attracted to him some way. Plus, I couldn't expect him to want me back, I walked out on him. "I've got to go Gee." I spoke quickly, feeling the warning signs of a panic attack coming on. "I'll see you tomorrow at eight." I didn't wait for his response as I quickly disconnected.

It was eight o'clock on Thursday evening and I was on my way to Gerard's party. I'd gone for the simple black dress and a pair of black peep toed sling backs, my hair waving down resting just above the bottom of my back. My make up was as always minimalistic. I steadied my breathing as I neared his office door, I'd been here many a time when I had a case nearby and we had our catch up lunches. I walked in through the already opened door looking around for Gerard. I instantly found him and smiled as he noticed me and made his way over with Lindsey. "Hey you." He pulled me into a tight embrace, "thank you so much for coming, when you want to leave just go yeah?" He smiled before kissing my cheek. He stayed and chatted for a while before I decided to get a drink, spying the empty drinks table I made my way over slowly deciding to have the alcohol free punch. Just as I was pouring myself some the music changed and the heavy guitar played out. I instantly recognised Joan Jett and The Blackhearts 'I love rock 'n roll'. The memory came hard and fast. I was instantly brought to the dingy karaoke club where I saw him after the year we broke up for. I'd just graduated and got a job at a tremendous law firm and was celebrating. I was slightly tipsy and thought it would be fun to attempt to sing the classic. I was up on the stage trying not to laugh all the way through when I spotted him. At the moment I looked at him I realised who he was, he did the same when he noticed me. He waved slightly as I got back to singing. After I stumbled off the stage he came over and we basically picked it up from where we left off, he'd just broke up with his then girlfriend, and we talked about everything and it all felt right and perfect. Soon after that we met up for coffee every day, then we spent the night together and even though we never said the words boyfriend and girlfriend we both knew that's what we were. Shortly after we bought our, I mean his, house and he proposed with the ring his grandfather gave his grandmother.

I allowed myself to get lost in the memory, blinking for longer then usual, wanting to remember the time that was so perfect. "Penny for your thoughts?" His soft voice spoke at the side of me. My eyes instantly snapped open and i was met with his soft beautiful ones.
"You wouldn't want to give me a penny for them." I smiled a little.
"You always have interesting thoughts." He smiled at me again. It was taking all my might not to kiss him or even touch him. "How have you been?" He asked whilst I was still trying to compose myself.
"You know what I can't do this I'm really sorry. You look great but I just." I walked out quickly feeling the panic attack coming along and needing to go anywhere then that stuffy, small room. I walked into the cool corridor and made my way around the corner, leaning against the cool wall trying to do the breathing techniques I was taught. "Nina, are you ok?" I heard his smooth voice again at the side of me, his hand resting on my back. I could do nothing but nod, my head resting against the wall as he stroked my back softly.
"I've missed you, I've been asking Gerard how you've been." He smiled as I looked at him. "I've been wanting to ring to say I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I just couldn't hear how I'd hurt you." He continued as my eyes started to well. He noticed the glossy look and pulled me into his tight embrace, that I always felt safe in. We stayed like that for a while, his warmth calming me right down, when the lift door pinged.
"Oh. I'm not interrupting am I Frank?" Came the harsh female voice.