Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break
A/N: Here is the next chapter everyone! I don't know how I feel about it, but I hope you guys like it!! Thanks for reading! R&R if you want too! If you guys have any suggestions about where the story should go let me know!!
Chapter 27: Are You Thinking Of Me? Like I’m Thinking of You?
Rachel’s POV:
That very first moment when you wake up and have no recollection of anything, where everything is just a blank slate. It feels as if life is new, simpler. That is one of my favorite parts of the day, that’s how I felt when I first awoke this morning. I had a blank slate, but that only lasted for not even five seconds. Memories quickly filled up my mind, everything that had happened in the past couple of months just collided together. Flashes of Gerard and I, flashes of Frank and I, and flashes of the both of them last night. They looked like animals, about to tear up a piece of fresh meat. I never thought the two of them could look at each other with such hatred and not even know that they really didn’t mean it. I could only hope that they had resolved everything last night. I would be completely okay if they decided they never wanted to talk to me again. It would hurt, but it would make everything easier for everybody. I rolled out of bed and walked over to my mirror, I started trying to moved my hair into any sort of acceptable form. It was flying in all different directions from the tossing and turning that I had been doing. I was glad that I didn’t have to worry about Chase anymore, I think he got the idea that I never wanted to see him again after I kicked him out of my room the other night. As I looked at myself I could just see how drained all of this had made me, I was actually excited to get back to school. New Year’s Eve was right around the corner and then this break would finally be over.
“I need a cigarette.” I heard myself inadvertently mumble.
In times of stress I smoke so much, and this break has stressed me out to the max. I opened my dresser drawer and dug through my clothes and snatched my pack of Marlboro Reds out from the bottom. I grabbed one from the back and tossed it back where it was. I opened my window and climbed out onto the roof. I looked up to see Gerard sitting on his roof.
“We have to stop meeting like this.” Gerard said smoothly and smirked at me, as usual. His voice still sent butterflies soaring in my stomach. I hated it.
“I think you just sit out here waiting for me to come out.” I smirked at him; it felt natural to flirt with him. I hated that too.
“Damn, you caught me.” He chuckled. “As if I need to wait for a woman.” He smirked right back at me.
“Clearly, it’s easy for you to just scoop one up anywhere.” I shot back at him. It was a little bit of a low blow, but he could handle it.
“Yikes,” his eyes went to the ground as he inhaled his cigarette. “Still really sorry about that.” He said as he looked up to me.
“Yeah, shit happens.” I sighed, but in all honesty I was over it. Over all of it. “But enough about that. How’d things go with you and Frank?” I asked, I wasn’t sure if he’d tell me or not.
“Actually, everything went really well.” He said smoothly, taking a drag off of his cigarette.
“Really?” I was surprised. “When I left you guys were about to tear each other to shreds.” I exhaled the poison from my lungs. I could feel my fingertips becoming numb from the cold.
“Yeah, we agree that it was stupid to let this whole situation get out of hand. We both admitted that we were wrong and just wanna be friends again.” Gerard said aloofly.
“That’s great, I am glad you guys could work everything out.” I said happily. It really was a huge relief to know that everyone could be around each other without Gerard and Frank wanting to kill each other.
“Yeah” Gerard paused and exhaled his last bit of smoke. “But just so you know, I am not giving up on you. I am just simmering for a bit.” Gerard said deviously as he reentered his house.
I looked at him through his window perplexed. I had no idea what he meant by simmering. How does one simmer? Why did he always have to be so mysterious? Gerard looked back at me bit his lip and shut his blinds. I have never meant a guy more persistent. I was nervous about what was in store. I walked over to my bed and laid back down. I was not ready to start this day. I thought about Gerard for a while, and our whole relationship. It was really great for the most part, except for the cheating. I wonder if he actually cared that he hurt me? Or if he was just toying with me, but I don’t know why he would get so worked about it if he wasn’t being genuine. I guess it’s just weird considering how he used to treat girls. He would just use them and throw them away, like tissues. Part of me wanted to just lay next to him and talk like we used to. I missed having his arms around me and feeling him breathe when he was against me. The thought of his touch sent shivers down my spine. But another part of me wanted to just forget about him and hate his guts for what he did to me. That’s what I did with Chase, after he cheated on me I never spoke to him again. However, things with Gerard were different, I had a soft spot for him. Chase and I never had such amazing chemistry, we never had in depth conversations about what we wanted out of life. We just had sex, and showed each other off to our friends, like trophy. Just show that we were important, if anything we were together just so we weren’t lonely. I connected with Gerard, we meshed well. We were together because at one point we enjoyed being around each other, we were happy to just hold one another’s hand. Or just be near each other. Something strong like that doesn’t just get destroyed so easily. It leaves a scar.
Gerard’s POV:
“What are you doing?” I heard Mikey say behind me as stood at the window.
“Oh I was just smoking.” I shut the blinds after a quick lip bite to Rachel; I think it will intrigue her.
“Really? So you weren’t trying to make moves on Rachel?” Mikey questioned and raised his eyebrow at me.
“No, maybe. I really don’t know. She asked me about things with Frank. But you know how it goes. I open my mouth and smoothness flows out.” I flopped myself onto my bed, face first into my pillow.
“Gerar—“
“UHHHHHHHHHHH” I yelled into my pillow, I sounded like a zombie. But it was the only words I had anymore.
“Gerard you seri—“
“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH.” I groaned again. I just didn’t wanna hear Mikey right now.
I should be the one giving him advice. I am the older one. But then again, he wasn’t an asshole cheater like me. He was in a great relationship, with an awesome girl. In a way, I envied his happiness.
“You need to---“
“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAH!’ I screamed into the pillow. Now I just wanted to fuck with him.
I felt Mikey crash into my back and push my head into the pillow.
“Gerard, you seriously need to remember that you can’t go near her right now. Remember what you told me last night, how you and Frank aren’t gonna worry about this and be friends again. You know what’s gonna happen if you get too comfortable around her again.” Mikey said sternly.
“Mikey I—“ I tried to come up for air, but he just shoved my head back down.
“I am really tired of these shenanigans, this group will be normal again, and you better not deliberately disobey me.” He finished and got off of my back. I felt the blood rushing back into it relieving me.
“Really Mikey “deliberately disobey me”?” I mocked him.
“What? I have always wanted to use that line.” He chuckled. “But seriously. Just keep your distance for a little.”
“Yeah, yeah, now get out. I got some sleeping to do.” I pushed Mikey out and flopped back onto my bed.
I probably wasn’t going to sleep. But I just wanted to get him out so I could think. I don’t know why I still feel so drawn to Rachel. I am sure there are a thousand of girls like her in the world. Probably at least 20 at our school, and I could get all of them. I don’t know what happened to me, but I used to not care about how treated girls I had been with. If were any other girl I probably wouldn’t have apologized for cheating, or given a fuck that Frank went after her. But for some reason Rachel was different to me, I wanted her. I am gonna try and respect Mikey and stay away for now, but I never make any promises. Memories from us dating starting playing in my head like a movie as lied in my bed and stared at the ceiling. I fast forwarded to all my favorite parts. Like our first date, how awkward we both felt. How we just talked about our lives and our futures. I think about her every night, and every day. I couldn’t help but think if Frank was still thinking about being with her too, if he was gonna keep trying to pursue her. I wondered if she would stay true to her word and not be with either of us. I guess I would find out eventually. New Years was coming up and Bob was gonna throw a huge party, I guess I was just gonna wait to see what happens.
Chapter 27: Are You Thinking Of Me? Like I’m Thinking of You?
Rachel’s POV:
That very first moment when you wake up and have no recollection of anything, where everything is just a blank slate. It feels as if life is new, simpler. That is one of my favorite parts of the day, that’s how I felt when I first awoke this morning. I had a blank slate, but that only lasted for not even five seconds. Memories quickly filled up my mind, everything that had happened in the past couple of months just collided together. Flashes of Gerard and I, flashes of Frank and I, and flashes of the both of them last night. They looked like animals, about to tear up a piece of fresh meat. I never thought the two of them could look at each other with such hatred and not even know that they really didn’t mean it. I could only hope that they had resolved everything last night. I would be completely okay if they decided they never wanted to talk to me again. It would hurt, but it would make everything easier for everybody. I rolled out of bed and walked over to my mirror, I started trying to moved my hair into any sort of acceptable form. It was flying in all different directions from the tossing and turning that I had been doing. I was glad that I didn’t have to worry about Chase anymore, I think he got the idea that I never wanted to see him again after I kicked him out of my room the other night. As I looked at myself I could just see how drained all of this had made me, I was actually excited to get back to school. New Year’s Eve was right around the corner and then this break would finally be over.
“I need a cigarette.” I heard myself inadvertently mumble.
In times of stress I smoke so much, and this break has stressed me out to the max. I opened my dresser drawer and dug through my clothes and snatched my pack of Marlboro Reds out from the bottom. I grabbed one from the back and tossed it back where it was. I opened my window and climbed out onto the roof. I looked up to see Gerard sitting on his roof.
“We have to stop meeting like this.” Gerard said smoothly and smirked at me, as usual. His voice still sent butterflies soaring in my stomach. I hated it.
“I think you just sit out here waiting for me to come out.” I smirked at him; it felt natural to flirt with him. I hated that too.
“Damn, you caught me.” He chuckled. “As if I need to wait for a woman.” He smirked right back at me.
“Clearly, it’s easy for you to just scoop one up anywhere.” I shot back at him. It was a little bit of a low blow, but he could handle it.
“Yikes,” his eyes went to the ground as he inhaled his cigarette. “Still really sorry about that.” He said as he looked up to me.
“Yeah, shit happens.” I sighed, but in all honesty I was over it. Over all of it. “But enough about that. How’d things go with you and Frank?” I asked, I wasn’t sure if he’d tell me or not.
“Actually, everything went really well.” He said smoothly, taking a drag off of his cigarette.
“Really?” I was surprised. “When I left you guys were about to tear each other to shreds.” I exhaled the poison from my lungs. I could feel my fingertips becoming numb from the cold.
“Yeah, we agree that it was stupid to let this whole situation get out of hand. We both admitted that we were wrong and just wanna be friends again.” Gerard said aloofly.
“That’s great, I am glad you guys could work everything out.” I said happily. It really was a huge relief to know that everyone could be around each other without Gerard and Frank wanting to kill each other.
“Yeah” Gerard paused and exhaled his last bit of smoke. “But just so you know, I am not giving up on you. I am just simmering for a bit.” Gerard said deviously as he reentered his house.
I looked at him through his window perplexed. I had no idea what he meant by simmering. How does one simmer? Why did he always have to be so mysterious? Gerard looked back at me bit his lip and shut his blinds. I have never meant a guy more persistent. I was nervous about what was in store. I walked over to my bed and laid back down. I was not ready to start this day. I thought about Gerard for a while, and our whole relationship. It was really great for the most part, except for the cheating. I wonder if he actually cared that he hurt me? Or if he was just toying with me, but I don’t know why he would get so worked about it if he wasn’t being genuine. I guess it’s just weird considering how he used to treat girls. He would just use them and throw them away, like tissues. Part of me wanted to just lay next to him and talk like we used to. I missed having his arms around me and feeling him breathe when he was against me. The thought of his touch sent shivers down my spine. But another part of me wanted to just forget about him and hate his guts for what he did to me. That’s what I did with Chase, after he cheated on me I never spoke to him again. However, things with Gerard were different, I had a soft spot for him. Chase and I never had such amazing chemistry, we never had in depth conversations about what we wanted out of life. We just had sex, and showed each other off to our friends, like trophy. Just show that we were important, if anything we were together just so we weren’t lonely. I connected with Gerard, we meshed well. We were together because at one point we enjoyed being around each other, we were happy to just hold one another’s hand. Or just be near each other. Something strong like that doesn’t just get destroyed so easily. It leaves a scar.
Gerard’s POV:
“What are you doing?” I heard Mikey say behind me as stood at the window.
“Oh I was just smoking.” I shut the blinds after a quick lip bite to Rachel; I think it will intrigue her.
“Really? So you weren’t trying to make moves on Rachel?” Mikey questioned and raised his eyebrow at me.
“No, maybe. I really don’t know. She asked me about things with Frank. But you know how it goes. I open my mouth and smoothness flows out.” I flopped myself onto my bed, face first into my pillow.
“Gerar—“
“UHHHHHHHHHHH” I yelled into my pillow, I sounded like a zombie. But it was the only words I had anymore.
“Gerard you seri—“
“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH.” I groaned again. I just didn’t wanna hear Mikey right now.
I should be the one giving him advice. I am the older one. But then again, he wasn’t an asshole cheater like me. He was in a great relationship, with an awesome girl. In a way, I envied his happiness.
“You need to---“
“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAH!’ I screamed into the pillow. Now I just wanted to fuck with him.
I felt Mikey crash into my back and push my head into the pillow.
“Gerard, you seriously need to remember that you can’t go near her right now. Remember what you told me last night, how you and Frank aren’t gonna worry about this and be friends again. You know what’s gonna happen if you get too comfortable around her again.” Mikey said sternly.
“Mikey I—“ I tried to come up for air, but he just shoved my head back down.
“I am really tired of these shenanigans, this group will be normal again, and you better not deliberately disobey me.” He finished and got off of my back. I felt the blood rushing back into it relieving me.
“Really Mikey “deliberately disobey me”?” I mocked him.
“What? I have always wanted to use that line.” He chuckled. “But seriously. Just keep your distance for a little.”
“Yeah, yeah, now get out. I got some sleeping to do.” I pushed Mikey out and flopped back onto my bed.
I probably wasn’t going to sleep. But I just wanted to get him out so I could think. I don’t know why I still feel so drawn to Rachel. I am sure there are a thousand of girls like her in the world. Probably at least 20 at our school, and I could get all of them. I don’t know what happened to me, but I used to not care about how treated girls I had been with. If were any other girl I probably wouldn’t have apologized for cheating, or given a fuck that Frank went after her. But for some reason Rachel was different to me, I wanted her. I am gonna try and respect Mikey and stay away for now, but I never make any promises. Memories from us dating starting playing in my head like a movie as lied in my bed and stared at the ceiling. I fast forwarded to all my favorite parts. Like our first date, how awkward we both felt. How we just talked about our lives and our futures. I think about her every night, and every day. I couldn’t help but think if Frank was still thinking about being with her too, if he was gonna keep trying to pursue her. I wondered if she would stay true to her word and not be with either of us. I guess I would find out eventually. New Years was coming up and Bob was gonna throw a huge party, I guess I was just gonna wait to see what happens.
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