Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break

You Can Fight This All You Want. But Tonight Belongs to Me

by IloveMCRmy 1 review

“So what does this mean?” he seemed confused.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2013-06-20 - Updated: 2013-06-20 - 1621 words

Chapter 30: You Can Fight This All You Want. But Tonight Belongs to Me

Rachel’s POV:

I never got the chance to talk to Gerard yesterday. I chickened out on calling him to come over. I woke up today for school and rushed out the door. I was up all night just thinking, all I did yesterday was think. I hadn’t seen Gerard all day, and now I was sitting in art, twiddling my thumbs, and waiting for him to walk in the room. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. All I could do was just sit here, and it drove me fucking crazy. I pulled my sketchbook out of my bag and started looking through my old sketches. They were pieces of shit, but there were a bunch that Gerard had helped me with that were better than all the other ones. I grazed my hand remembering how soft his touch was as he guided me with his hand to help keep my lines straight and my hands steady. The class was buzzing with stories from break and News Years parties. The most popular one was Bob’s though; half of the school had to have been in that tiny little house. The bell finally rang and I looked around and saw Gerard squirm through the door at the last second. I watched Ms. O’Shea shoot him a “stop showing up late” look and Gerard just replied with that captivating smirk and made his way to his seat next to me. I did my best not to make eye contact with him. I was not going to be the one to start this conversation. I didn’t pull him into a closet and suck his face off. That was all him, so he could be the one to talk to me. But I don’t think I wanted to have this conversation. Because it was just going to open a can of emotions, and then what? Would he just expect me to take him back just because he decided that he wanted to kiss me? That doesn’t prove anything, and it doesn’t change the fact that he did cheat on me. I thought I was over it, but the more about it, the more I realized I wasn’t.

“Hey.” Gerard said as he pulled out his sketchbook. I could tell this was awkward for him, and suddenly I just felt uncomfortable about all of this.

“Uhm hi.” I managed to spit out.

“I really think we should talk about the other night.” Gerard cut to the chase. I still didn’t wanna look at him.

“I can’t, I just can’t do this.” I was on autopilot again.

Before I knew it I was gathering all of my stuff and leaving the room. I could hear Ms. O’Shea calling my name, but everything sounded distant and muffled. All that was running through my head was flashbacks of the fight Gerard and I had the night he cheated, and then my imagination putting images through my head about what happened in that room. It made me sick to my stomach. I ran into the deserted hallway didn’t stop until I hit the parking lot.

“Rachel wait!” I could hear Gerard beckon to me.

“NO!” I yelled as I ran faster to my car.

“Rachel! Stop.” Gerard caught up to me, and was panting.

“What do you want?” I groaned. Panting myself.

“Well first I want you to not run like a damn cheetah, and second we really need to talk about the other night.” He caught his breath.

I watched as wind started to pick up and blow his pitch black hair across his face.
His hazel eyes pierced through the strands of hair. I finally slouched on the back of my car.

“Okay fine.” I replied.

“Okay, well, I miss you and I want you back. From what happened on New Year’s I know you miss me too, and I know that we could make this work.” Gerard said calmly, moving the strands of hair out of his face.

“Whoa, back up, you kissed me, and yes I gave in. But that doesn’t mean I want to be with you again.” I said defensively.

“Seriously Rachel!” his voice boomed through the parking lot. “You can’t sit here and tell that kiss meant nothing to you and you didn’t feel anything.”

“What you want me to say? That yes I felt something, every fucking feeling that I was suppressing for you resurfaced itself in that moment. That I miss more than words can describe. Is that you want me to say Gerard, because that’s what I wanna say.” I felt a lump in my throat and tears well up in my eyes. “But I can’t say any of that because you disrespected me so much by cheating on me that I can’t even see you in that way anymore. So how can I even begin to think about being with you when I can’t trust you?” I wiped the tears from my face and looked at him dead in the eyes.

“Don’t you get it? You fucking changed me Rachel. I know this about to sound so cliché, but it’s true. Before I was with you women were disposable to me. I didn’t give a shit about any of them. I used them and threw them away like trash. But then you came into my life, with your witty comments, and prideful nature. You challenged me to change, you never asked me to. It just happened, the more time I spent with you, the less I wanted to be with anyone else. I know I messed up, I messed up big time.” Gerard spit out, and his eyes looked full of sorrow. “But you have to understand that I was scared, I have never had a real stable relationship in my life. But I cared about you so much that it hurts sometimes and I was scared of that feeling. But I am not anymore, I want you and only you and I swear to you that I will do whatever it takes to prove that to you.” Gerard finished, his eyes were pleading for me to say something.

The only sound was the wind whistling through the trees. I stared at Gerard, I felt angry, sad, happy, and so many other emotions at once. He can’t just stand here bruiting and looking all sorrowful expecting this to be okay. I wanted to walk away without saying a word. Rehashing these old wounds made them even more painful than before. Before I knew what I was doing I smacked Gerard across the face. He didn’t say anything; his eyes told me that he knew he deserved it. I wanted to do it again, I raised my hand and he grabbed my wrist. I raised my other, and he did the same.

"Let the fuck go of me." I tried to shake my hands free. I felt a tear stroll down my face.

“No.” Gerard said sternly, holding my wrists in place. I could feel my back pushing into my car.

Then out of nowhere I leaned in quickly and kissed him. I couldn’t fight anymore. I just wanted to be with him again. I missed everything about Gerard. He freed my hands and I wrapped them around his neck. His lips were soft and warm like the other night. We kissed each other so passionately that our enemies could probably feel it. Gerard picked me up placed me on top of the trunk of my car. I grabbed the back of his hair and he gently slid his tongue into my mouth. I wrap my legs around his waist and let this continue, it felt amazing. We finally parted from each other’s lips. I released Gerard and he sat up on the trunk with me.

“So what does this mean?” he seemed confused. “Because you slapped me, and then attacked me with your lips. But who could blame you? I mean look at me.” The cocky Gerard emerged again.

“I hate you.” I chuckled and shoved him playfully. “But I don’t know. I guess we could try this again.” I saw Gerard’s eyes fill up with happiness.

“Rach—“he began but I cut him off.

“Gerard, I swear if you do anything to hurt me again I am fucking gone and will never come back.” I said seriously as I looked him the eyes.

“I know, but you just made me the happiest guy in the world.” He smiled and kissed me gently on the lips.

“What about Frank.” I said sadly, finally remembering that he still was a part of this situation.

“Don’t worry, I talked to him, it’s all good.” Gerard grinned.

“Good.” I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder and enjoyed the silence with him.

“So Rachel?” he broke the silence.


“Are you ever gonna take me up on that offer for that quick fuck in the backseat of my car?” He smirked at me mischievously.

“This, this I didn’t miss. Fuck you Gerard!” I laughed and pushed him off the trunk.

He just smirked back again, and got back up. I rested my head back on his shoulder, and smiled. I was hoping that this was going to work. Or else I was going to look like an idiot. But right now, right now I knew that I looked happy. So I just smiled.

A/N: Hope you guys liked it (:
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