Categories > Cartoons > Ed, Edd, and Eddy > Derp
Double D sat on his bed reading calculus which he was a tad too tired to focus on. He thought of the girls he’d had in his life. He thought of Nazz, tough she was with Kevin and had been for quite some time. He thought of Sarah, she was younger than him and rather rude, but she was pretty and she liked him. Mostly, he thought of May, whom he’d secretly loved since Valentine’s Day, but she made it obvious she was only interested in Ed. Ed was his dearest friend, but he wasn’t intelligent enough to understand something as complicated as love.
It was the first week of summer and according to Eddy they would scam the whole cul-de-sac with his cousin Ben. He didn’t know Ben, but he pictured a short, rude foul-mouthed, boy, similar to Eddy or his older brother. Worst of all Eddy was having his cousin over all summer. It wasn’t that he disliked Eddy; one was hard to handle and two could only be worse.
Double D picked up his label-maker to replace the peeling label that read “window sill” only to discover he had ran out of the film required to make his labels. He then wrote a note to himself of things he needed to buy making a point to include label-making film. Soon Double D was in his pajamas and fast asleep.
The next morning had come far too soon, the beginning of the day went by smoothly and quietly, and just as Double D sat down to lunch he heard his doorbell ring. He answered the door and (not surprisingly) Eddy stood on his porch. “Come on,” he said.
Into view walked a pretty girl, who towered over Eddy, yet seemed so much smaller than him “Eddy, I get nervous in strangers’ houses,” she said. Double D couldn’t help but notice her uncommon apparel, her torn jeans were rolled up to the knee, her shirt was zebra print, but rather than being black and white it was black and red, her sneakers were shabby, and the most eye-catching of all was her short black hair that covered one eye and was other wise completely covered by a purple knit hat with a large knit, pink flower on it. “Hello,” she said shaking his hand, “I’m Bernadette, but everyone calls me Ben.”
“I’m Edward, everyone calls me Double D,” he began to ramble after that, but shortly came to his senses, “Would you like to come in?”
“Actually, I’d rather stay outside.”
“Let’s go get Lumpy,” Eddy demanded.
“Lumpy?”
“Our friend Ed,” replied Double D.
“Geez! How many Eds are there?”
“In America there are about 954,275 and in our group there are three.”
“Shut up, Sockhead.”
“My name’s only the four-hundredth most popular name in the United States amongst females.”
“No one cares!” Eddy snapped.
Finally, they got to Ed’s house. “Hello,” said Ben to Ed, holding out her hand to shake his, though she soon regretted it. After shaking Ed’s hand she had a large amount of a pink substance the texture of mucus on her hand.
“My goodness,” said Double D.
“Dose anyone have a napkin I could use?”
“I do,” said Ed.
“Anybody else?”
“I believe I do,” said Double D, pulling a packet of tissues out of his pocket.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Dork alert,” said Eddy.
“If someone says ‘Thank you,’ Eddy, it’s only polite to say ‘You’re welcome,” said Double D.
“Thankfully, someone understands simple etiquette, it’s so rude when people don’t say ‘You’re welcome,’” Ben said over excitedly and everyone was taken aback by this.
“Nerds,” Eddy muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Buttered toast!” yelled Ed.
“Let’s go scam some people!”
“My mom gave me extra money for the bus; I’ll pay for the jawbreakers.”
As they were all walking to the candy store a female voice from out of the bushes said, “No, you shut up, Marie.”
“Kankers,” muttered Eddy.
“Kankers scare me, Eddy,” wailed Ed.
“What are Kankers?”
“I think I hear our boyfriends, girls,” squealed another girl.
“RUN!!!!” all the boys yelled at once; they were out of site, but in the distance Ben heard them speaking loudly, though she couldn’t make out any specific words.
“I still don’t know who that is,” she helplessly said to herself.
A voice even more high pitched than Ben’s nasal voice said, “Look what we got here.” The owners of the voices suddenly made themselves visible. Three crude looking girls slithered from behind her.
“What were you doing with our boyfriends?” asked the blue-haired girl.
“Nothing.”
“I think she wants to take my Ed from me,” said the blonde one.
“That would be unsanitary at best,” Ben said sharp as a razor and meeting all three cold stares.
“What are you doing around our men?” asked the red head.
“Eddy’s my cousin; I was visiting him for the summer.”
“How do we know you’re not lying?”
“Why would I lie about that? - Look it doesn’t matter, I’m Ben.”
They glanced at each other. “I’m Lee.”
“I’m Marie.”
“I’m May.”
“We’re the Kanker sisters.”
“Oh Kankers.”
“Did our boyfriends mention us?” asked May.
“Sort of."
It was the first week of summer and according to Eddy they would scam the whole cul-de-sac with his cousin Ben. He didn’t know Ben, but he pictured a short, rude foul-mouthed, boy, similar to Eddy or his older brother. Worst of all Eddy was having his cousin over all summer. It wasn’t that he disliked Eddy; one was hard to handle and two could only be worse.
Double D picked up his label-maker to replace the peeling label that read “window sill” only to discover he had ran out of the film required to make his labels. He then wrote a note to himself of things he needed to buy making a point to include label-making film. Soon Double D was in his pajamas and fast asleep.
The next morning had come far too soon, the beginning of the day went by smoothly and quietly, and just as Double D sat down to lunch he heard his doorbell ring. He answered the door and (not surprisingly) Eddy stood on his porch. “Come on,” he said.
Into view walked a pretty girl, who towered over Eddy, yet seemed so much smaller than him “Eddy, I get nervous in strangers’ houses,” she said. Double D couldn’t help but notice her uncommon apparel, her torn jeans were rolled up to the knee, her shirt was zebra print, but rather than being black and white it was black and red, her sneakers were shabby, and the most eye-catching of all was her short black hair that covered one eye and was other wise completely covered by a purple knit hat with a large knit, pink flower on it. “Hello,” she said shaking his hand, “I’m Bernadette, but everyone calls me Ben.”
“I’m Edward, everyone calls me Double D,” he began to ramble after that, but shortly came to his senses, “Would you like to come in?”
“Actually, I’d rather stay outside.”
“Let’s go get Lumpy,” Eddy demanded.
“Lumpy?”
“Our friend Ed,” replied Double D.
“Geez! How many Eds are there?”
“In America there are about 954,275 and in our group there are three.”
“Shut up, Sockhead.”
“My name’s only the four-hundredth most popular name in the United States amongst females.”
“No one cares!” Eddy snapped.
Finally, they got to Ed’s house. “Hello,” said Ben to Ed, holding out her hand to shake his, though she soon regretted it. After shaking Ed’s hand she had a large amount of a pink substance the texture of mucus on her hand.
“My goodness,” said Double D.
“Dose anyone have a napkin I could use?”
“I do,” said Ed.
“Anybody else?”
“I believe I do,” said Double D, pulling a packet of tissues out of his pocket.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Dork alert,” said Eddy.
“If someone says ‘Thank you,’ Eddy, it’s only polite to say ‘You’re welcome,” said Double D.
“Thankfully, someone understands simple etiquette, it’s so rude when people don’t say ‘You’re welcome,’” Ben said over excitedly and everyone was taken aback by this.
“Nerds,” Eddy muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Buttered toast!” yelled Ed.
“Let’s go scam some people!”
“My mom gave me extra money for the bus; I’ll pay for the jawbreakers.”
As they were all walking to the candy store a female voice from out of the bushes said, “No, you shut up, Marie.”
“Kankers,” muttered Eddy.
“Kankers scare me, Eddy,” wailed Ed.
“What are Kankers?”
“I think I hear our boyfriends, girls,” squealed another girl.
“RUN!!!!” all the boys yelled at once; they were out of site, but in the distance Ben heard them speaking loudly, though she couldn’t make out any specific words.
“I still don’t know who that is,” she helplessly said to herself.
A voice even more high pitched than Ben’s nasal voice said, “Look what we got here.” The owners of the voices suddenly made themselves visible. Three crude looking girls slithered from behind her.
“What were you doing with our boyfriends?” asked the blue-haired girl.
“Nothing.”
“I think she wants to take my Ed from me,” said the blonde one.
“That would be unsanitary at best,” Ben said sharp as a razor and meeting all three cold stares.
“What are you doing around our men?” asked the red head.
“Eddy’s my cousin; I was visiting him for the summer.”
“How do we know you’re not lying?”
“Why would I lie about that? - Look it doesn’t matter, I’m Ben.”
They glanced at each other. “I’m Lee.”
“I’m Marie.”
“I’m May.”
“We’re the Kanker sisters.”
“Oh Kankers.”
“Did our boyfriends mention us?” asked May.
“Sort of."
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