Categories > Cartoons > Ed, Edd, and Eddy > Derp

Kankers be Cray

by xxXbloodXvomitXxx 0 reviews

Ben got trapped with the Kankers.

Category: Ed, Edd, and Eddy - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Romance - Published: 2013-08-10 - 853 words

0Unrated
"Hey I know!" Marie exclaimed.
"What's that?" asked Lee.
They all huddled as Ben tried guessing their motives.
"OKAY!" Lee shouting in a rather surprising way, breaking the silence.
May jumped up and down repeating the words "Oh boy."
"We're gonna hold you as a hostage."
Chills ran down Ben's spine the second the words left Lee's mouth. "Wh-w-why?" her cool composure seemed to slip through her hands.
The lack of a calm facade went seemingly unnoticed by the others.
"So our boyfriends will rescue you," said May with a final bounce.
"That's probably not gonna work out so well..." said Ben.
"And why not?" Lee raised her voice demanding an answer.
In a more relaxed tone than before Ben began to explain, "Well, Eddy's my cousin so I know for a fact that he's not exactly chivalrous and I just met the others today so I don't think they'll save me."
"Hmm..." Lee thought about it for a moment, "I'll tell ya what," she looked hesitant for a moment, but then continued, "By the end of the day we'll let you go if they don't come for you."
Ben contemplated it. The offer was far more reasonable than he had anticipated. Unfortunately, If the boys were to make a rescue attempt they'd surely be tortured in one way or another, but she knew if she tried to run she'd surely be trapped and given far less reasonable propositions.
"Deal," she held out her hand to shake Lee's. Rather than return the gesture Lee turned around and walked away, Marie soon followed her in the same sly manor as Ben stood dumbfounded with her arm still bent and extended. May grabbed Ben's hand before she realized to retract it and led her through a field with her sisters walking several yards in front of her. Each Kanker walked about five yards between one another, it would have been all the more spell bounding if May had inherited her sisters graces, but instead she behaved much like a fattened duck attempting ballet.
Soon Ben was led to a trailer park and into a small trailer, though she was squeamish and hesitant.
"Is this your home?" Ben asked as she was shoved onto a couch.
"Oh look our home isn't good enough for her, girls," announced Lee.
"No," she began as her heart started to race, "it's lovely. I tried moving somewhere like this, but my mom didn't have the money."
They looked at her in a testing manor so she continued, "That's why I'm staying with Eddy, my mom's too poor to pay for things like food for me all day during the summer ." She looked at her feet.
After awhile Ben found herself more comfortable as she and the Kankers began speaking about boys.
"Wouldn't she look so cute with Rolf?" Marie announced more than asked.
"Yeah!" May more or less shouted.
"Who's Ro-"
"I dunno, Marie. Rolf's kinda sissy if you know what I mean," Lee's insinuations were enough to stray Ben away from the idea of being romantically involved with this Rolf person. She wasn't particularly interested in the first place because these girls seemed at least somewhat insane.
"Hey, I know!" said Marie.
"Hmm?" Ben questioned.
"Let's give her a makeover!"
Since she was in no position to bargain Ben complied. Silently she allowed the Kankers to pluck, poke, prod, color, spray, and highlight whatever they wanted. She even let them remove her hat and style her hair. It wasn't until they wanted to change her clothes that she began to hesitate.
"It's a good thing we have boyfriends and don't have to worry about things like that," said May.
"Yeah, but we're also lucky not to be so homely," said Lee.
Ben was aware of how delusional these girls truly were in their ideas about relationships, but had to somehow tame her curiosity in even the slightest manor so she asked, "You guys are with Ed, Double D, and Eddy, right?"
She looked out a small window and saw a thick uni-brow and two intense eyes. She tried fighting her urges to show her shock and attempted to listen, but the only words she really made out were "practically married" and she wasn't even sure of the owner. Ed's face had by this time lost all focus and intensity and was now waving a wild hand at her. Someone short then pushed him out of the way and Eddy (apparently on his toes) replace Ed's image. He then made a gesture that Ben could only hope and assume meant to go to the bathroom.
"That's crazy," she said before realizing that her wording was probably inappropriate due to the circumstances of her attendance in their home, "I have to use the restroom."
"It's over there," said Marie pointing generally.
Ben stood up and placed her beanie in her back pocket. Then, after quite a bit of searching, she found the restroom. Upon entering she saw Double D standing uncomfortably. "What are you doing here?" she asked in disbelief.
"Well, we thought we would help you escape," he muttered blushing
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