FicWad

I looked deeply into Gerard's beautiful innocent eyes.
He looked like a lost puppy or a small kid that never had any love, which was probably the case since he lived with his grandmother.
I held his left cheek gently with my right hand and stroked it gently.
I felt him shaking nervously.
"Gee it's ok...don't be so nervous, I know it's scary trying to trust someone but I won't hurt you if I can help it."
He just nodded and rubbed his cheek onto my hand affectionately, batting his eyes sweetly up at me with a small smile.
I smiled wide at him and brushed my nose against his other cheek.
He let his mouth open slightly and breathed warmly against my jaw.
We glanced into each others eyes and I saw something then that I hadn't seen so strongly before in his eyes...
Trust...
Hope...
Thankfulness...
Relief...
Love.
His lashes were so perfectly even and his jaw, was so perfectly shapen.
I kept noticing everything that was so perfect about him. He was so hot and sexy. He was driving me mentally insane and I barely knew him but I knew so much too.
I was lost in his expectant eyes and I began to lean in and so did he.
He closed his eyes nervously.
Our lips almost touched when realization washed over me.
I never had kissed any one before.
I pulled back slightly and looked at him.
He opened his eyes and started to look panicky. "W What!?"
I bit my lip "As embarrassing as this is...I I've never kissed anyone before."
He sighed seeming relieved "Oh that's all?" He held a hand to his heart.
I looked shocked "That's all!? Gerard do you know how embarrassing it is to be fifteen and never kissed before? That's how fugly I am! No one wants to even be near me!" I folded my arms in aggravation.
He looked like he was shocked and like he might cry all at once.
He lurched forward and hugged me tight which surprised and shocked me.
He was being so affectionate and sweet I just held back as his forehead rested on my collar bone.
He looked up at me "Frankie your not fugly. Your really hot to me..."
He bit his lip "Erm...I mean..."
I blushed and placed a soft kiss to his hair, it smelt like spicy apples and I relished in the scent of his soft feathery waves of pure black.
I smiled at his puppy face. "Your so sweet Geegee..."
He rested his cheek on mine and rubbed his nose against my cheek.
"Frank, it's ok I won't push yu to have your first kiss with me if your not ready for it. I won't ever push you into something you don't want unless it's good for you."
I smiled "Gerard your so compassionate it's sweet and I really appreciate you being so nice to me."
He smiled quickly "I'm nice to anybody who's nice to me and my friends. People just judge me by my cover but never read me like the book you read me as so easily. I really want us to be close for a really long time."
I looked at him completely truthful. "Your wish is my command."
He looked like he wanted to kiss me so bad and he rubbed his head on my chest hard sort of like a cat and he sighed dreamily.
I rubbed his neck with a hand gently and he moaned sweetly letting his eyelids flutter shut.
I looked into his eyes when he sat up he held my hand reassuringly.
"Frank, I trust you to not leave me now. I've been fooled before but I really don't see any bad in you whatsoever. I just want you to trust me just as much as I'll learn to trust you ok?"
I nodded with a twinge of a smile.
I thought for a minute.
"Come here Gee..." I pulled him down gently by the small of his back and pulled him down to lay on my chest on the bed we had gotten comfortable on.
"What's your favorite color?" I asked Gerard calming his nerves by gently stroking his hair.
"I have two...Red and black."
I smiled "Me too, movie?"
"Nightmare before Christmas." he mumbled relaxed now.
I smiled again "Maybe you should start asking me because it might seem like I'm just agreeing with everything your saying."
He giggled "That's funny, your favorite movie too then?"
I nodded "Yeah."
"Ok then what's your favorite animal?" He asked.
"Chihuahua, you?" I asked.
"I like Gazelle's, there so majestic and quite frankly...crazy."
I started giggling at that. "Ok so then what's your religion?"
"As bad as it sounds, Satanist."
Wait, He's a What!?
"Huh?!" I jumped slightly "Ok I know it sounds bad to me because I really don't know anything about it I thought it was about worshiping the devil."
"Nah, it's about not believing that some invisible man in the sky is constantly controlling your life. I mean sure, maybe there's some higher phenomenon but I don't want to sit there and think that something is controlling my every move like some puppet master holding my strings. He's not causing me to hold you right now I'm holding you and that's my choice and nobody decided that for me except me."
I nod "You know now that I look at it that way...I totally agree..."
He rubbed his head to my chest "Your so soft Frankie. Like a big teddy bear."
"I was just thinking the same about you..."
We snuggled up closer and smiled like high fuckers.
"Do you like sports?" He asked me.
"Kickball, i always have."
"Me too."
"We sure do have alot in common."
He nodded "I like it that way, makes us have better of a connection."
"Yeah." I sighed happily.
"What do you like to dress in?"
I thought a minute. "Uhm, Converse, skinnies, cool tee's with random designs or band logos, sometimes baggy pants or bell bottom jeans, beanies and trucker hats, Doc Martins and boots of all kinds."
He smiled "Me too but I like turtle necks and suites too and scarves or trench coats."
"I'll wear like a suite or a sweater if I'm in the mood but I've never worn a turtle neck."
Gerard smiled up at me "I bet you'd look so adorable."
He blushed and buried his face in my shirt.
I giggled "Maybe."
He peeked up at me and I petted his head. He sighed relaxing slightly I scratched at his head and smiled.
A knock came to my door and I sat Up hugging Gerard close rubbing his back.
"Yeah?"
"Uh, it's Mikey..."
I unlocked the door and sat back on my bed.
"Come in." I called.
He entered in a black beanie grey skinnies and high-tops with a light grey hoodie.
"Hey guys." He sat on my bed by Gee who hugged him happily.
Mikey held him tight and looked at me "You two been ok? No hurt feelings or freak outs?" Gee shook his head no.
"I really like him Mikey he's not like the other ones."
Mikey looked shocked "Gee you've never said that before."
I giggled and he hugged me close. "He really hasn't?"
Mikey shook his head "No, he always just acted like such a girl over them with you he seems...calmed."
He looked up at me sweetly. I smiled.
"So has the no talking thing been annoying?" Mikey asked.
I looked at him confused. "He talks to me just fine."
A look o realization came over Mikey "Dude, Frank your his way out! What his been looking or. You relax him and are nothing but nice to him. Your everything he wants in a person and more. Frank,, your his new everything."
I blushed and stroked Gerard's cheek. "Then I won't refuse the job of making you two better, more comfortable with people, and being able to find more friends, I promise."
I held them both close and Mikey quickly got all snuggled up into me.
"I see why Gerard is so comfortable with you, you give off a really good vibe, I like it, and that's not often that I like to be this close to some one. Your a good guy Frank."
I smiled and held them closer and whispered "Thank You."
Soon Gerard was asleep. Breathing hotly against my neck with slightly parted lips.
I stroked his hair back off of his face and looked at Mikey rubbing the back of Gerard's neck.
"I will make it my obligation to get your brother back on his feet and back on track emotionally. He's been so strong now he's crumbling down worse then any other time and the only thing that needs to happen now is talking to him, listening to how he feels and making him feel better about it not letting worry so much he needs a break. Just to be young and stupid and I'll make sure nothing bad happens to him and I'll help him through these drug problems and his pain. Help him to see the light that has been shone upon your lives now. I'll be your angel you don't have to worry anymore. He'll get better and so will you and we can all be stupid emo goth dickheads together. Okay?"
He smiled "I know you'll do the right thing Frank I still have a slight bit of pride left for him and I know he'll get better in the right hands...and there yours."
We said our goodbye's and then he left me with a mess of a man.
A man that would get help from me and spill his guts out whenever he needed to and be loved no matter what.
I held this dented prize that would soon gleam in all its perfection once the nasty dent was knocked out. I would help him cope and even during his emotional crisis I would be there.
I hold the sleeping man in my arms and look for the hope that was always written on his face with me and I smiled when I knew that it was there deep down and I rubbed his back gently.
I will fix this broken machine if it ends me.