FicWad

Thank you to my BETA @tellmeimanangel. If you’re not already following her on twitter, I suggest you do! She’s fab.
Also, thank you to @ilove_beanies who wrote the smut for me. Follow her on twitter and also follow her tumblr (ilove-beanies.tumblr.com). All credit goes to her :)))

It was exactly twelve days since Castiel had last seen Dean, when he finally turned up at school.

However it wasn’t quite the reunion Castiel had imagined.

When Castiel first saw Dean after school, he was standing with his group of friends in school car park, admiring the car one of the guys on the football team had gotten for his birthday. Dean looked directly at Castiel but his face didn’t change at all; Castiel was just another passer-by; another irrelevant school kid amongst the crowd. In fact, when one of his friends pointed over to Castiel and shouted “Hey, Cassy Wassy, why don’t you come over here and…oh, what? You’re too scared? Poor little Cassy. Pathetic little shit.” Dean actually laughed along with them.

Castiel sighed and walked away as quickly as he could. He tried to forget the look on Dean’s face as his eyes wrinkled and his mouth curled into a smile at the edges as he laughed at him.

As Castiel walked into one of the school buildings to find Sam and his friends, he realised that maybe it was over between them both now. Maybe Dean just didn’t want to go through with the hassle of having a boyfriend when his father is the biggest homophobe going. Dean was just probably too afraid to tell Cas that it was over, or even say goodbye for the last time. Slowly, as Castiel thought about how the relationship was over, he felt his eyes start to burn and the tears roll quickly in streams down his cheeks. Before he knew it, he was practically running down the empty hallways until he came to the music room Sam and his friends usually met up in after the end-of-day bell rang.

He burst through the door and threw his arms around Sam, nearly knocking him to his feet. But Sam caught his balance just in time and hugged Castiel back.
“Cassy? Are you okay?” One of Castiel’s new friends, Balthazar, asked.
“Talk to me.” Sam said, holding him back a little. “What’s wrong?”
Castiel turned away so only Sam could hear and cried: “I don’t think Dean loves me anymore. I think it’s over.”
“Oh, Cas.” Sam sighed. “What makes you think that?”
“I saw him in the school yard just now…he laughed at me with his friends and he barely even noticed me when I first saw him.” Castiel swallowed hard and wiped his eyes. “I’d understand if he didn’t want me anymore, but he could’ve at least called me or texted me to say it was over.”
Sam hugged him again quickly. “Don’t be stupid, Cas. You know what Dean’s like in front of his friends.”
“But this time it was different! He usually at least smiles or winks or something.”
“Except this time?”
“Except this time.” Castiel sighed. He looked away from Sam for a few seconds and burst into tears again. This time crying so hard he had to sit down and hold his head in his hands.

Why did Dean always have to be such an asshole like this? Castiel hadn’t seen him for over a week and suddenly he decided to pretend that the two of them had never kissed on Cas’ bedroom floor, or that they’d never driven out of town to get McDonalds at four am, that they’d never slept in each other’s arms during a storm or that Castiel hadn’t managed to sneak him up to his room every day after school since Dean finally asked him to be his. Castiel had risked everything to make Dean happy. He’d risked the rest of his foster family finding out that he was with another guy; he’d risked his whole life there in Kansas just so Dean could get what he wanted, yet again.

Balthazar knelt down in front of him and sighed. “Whose ass do you want me to kick?”
Castiel looked up and smiled. “Nobody. It’s fine.”
“You don’t look ‘fine’. Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
Sam shrugged at Cas as if to say ‘it’s your choice what you tell him’.
“I got dumped. Well…I think I did.” Castiel mumbled quietly.
“Well, whoever it was, she must’ve been the biggest bitch to break up with a guy like you.” Balthazar smiled. He then looked up at Sam. “You know what we should do, Sammy? We should have one of our legendary post-breakup sleepovers.”
“Uh…yeah. That totally doesn’t sound like the girliest thing I’ve ever heard.” Sam laughed.
“But it worked, right? After that night, you didn’t think twice about Ruby when you saw her at school. I say we try it again.”
“Okay, I guess so. It’s Friday today…so let’s do it tonight. Round mine.” Sam said.
“A sleepover? I’ve never been to a sleepover before.” Castiel mumbled.
Balthazar laughed. “You’ll love it. We’ll get loads of horror movies and snacks…it will help you get over, what-was-her-name-again?”
“Her name isn’t important.” Sam said quickly before Castiel could even open his mouth.
“Whatever. I’ll see you guys later. Seven good?” Balthazar suggested as he collected his bags.
“Seven’s great. See you then.” Sam agreed. Balthazar grinned, ruffled Castiel’s hair and saluted quickly. Then he was gone.

“I can’t go round yours, Sam. Dean will be there and-”
“And you’ll get to see him again. He misses you, Cas. You’ve got to believe me when I say that.”
“But he was acting weird today. I really do think it’s over. Besides, your dad won’t want me anywhere near him.”
“Dad doesn’t know your name or what you look like. Just…just come, okay? And if it really is over between you and Dean, you’ll be able to talk it out. End it properly, you know?”
Castiel thought about it for a few seconds and gave in. “Fine.”
“I’ll text you my address later, okay? See you at seven.”

* * *

Castiel was somewhat relieved to find that it was Sam who answered the door.

The house wasn’t particularly big; pretty basic, to be honest. The area didn’t even look as shabby as Dean had described it, but, then again, Dean had lived there his whole life – he knew it better than anybody. It wasn’t particularly tidy inside the house; empty glass bottles sitting in clusters on every other surface. The place looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned in years; dust sat in thin layers on most surfaces and the cream carpet was now a dingy grey. It may’ve been untidy and unclean, but it was certainly lived in. It made Castiel feel somewhat at home; regardless of the fact he knew what sometimes went on in these very rooms after one too many beers.

Sam’s room seemed to be in a better state than the rest of the house. In fact, it even smelt like it had been cleaned recently. There was hardly a book out of place on the shelf and there was no clutter on the floor whatsoever. Castiel was somewhat impressed with how immaculate the small room actually was; Cas’ room had never been in a state this clean, not even with the maid that comes to clean the house every week.

“Okay…so my sister decided it would be a good idea to leave all the good horror movies at her boyfriend’s house, but there were still a few good ones left.” Balthazar said as he emptied the contents of his bag onto Sam’s well-made bed. It seemed the only thing he’d actually remembered to pack were the movies. “We have…Final Destination?”
“Shit.” Sam said quickly.
“Paranormal Activity?”
“Even more shit.”
“Donnie Darko?”
“Oooh, I like that film.” Castiel grinned.
“It’s not much of a horror, though.” Sam said.
“Yeah, but that bunny rabbit is fucking creepy.” Balthazar laughed. “I wanna watch it.”
“Sorted.” Sam grinned as he grabbed the DVD from the bed.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes, I just need to call my dad – he’s worried about me because, you know, I was upset earlier.” Castiel lied. “You can go ahead and start the movie.”
Balthazar nodded and Sam mouthed ‘Dean’s room is second door on the right’, to which Castiel smiled gratefully.

He followed the directions to Dean’s room and stood outside the door with his breath caught up in his lungs. The door was ajar, and he could see Dean lying on his bed with one arm behind his head, the other holding a magazine up to his face as he read and hummed softly to himself. Castiel couldn’t help but notice how goddamn beautiful he looked as he lay there on top of the covers so casually; it was no surprise he was one of the most popular guys in at school.

Castiel pushed the door lightly and it creaked open ever so slightly. It wasn’t enough for him to fully reveal himself to Dean, but it was enough for Dean to know he was there.
“Who’s there?” Dean said quietly.
Castiel pushed the door again, this time enough for Dean to see.
“Cas.” Dean smiled breathlessly. The sound of his name being spoken like that made his body weaken.
“Hello, Dean. I came here to talk to you.”
“Okay…come in.” Dean smiled.
Castiel shut the door behind him and stepped into the middle of the room. He felt as if a billion pairs of eyes were on him, and he was in the spotlight. “I guess I just wanted to know the reason why you don’t want me to be your boyfriend anymore. I know I can kind of already guess what you might say, but I just-”
“What?” Dean frowned. “Cas…where’s all this coming from?” he stood up and took one of Castiel’s hands.
“I thought…it’s just...I…you didn’t act like you cared earlier when your friends said that shit to me. You didn’t even come and find me to say hello. Even after you left my house, you never called to let me know that you were okay; I was worried sick, Dean. It just feels like I’m only yours when it suits you. Don’t you care about me? About how I feel? I could barely sleep for over a week, and when I finally see you again…you act as if I’m nothing to you.”
“Baby, I’m sorry, okay? My dad took my phone and didn’t let me leave the house and I thought I told Sammy to tell you that.” He sighed. “And as for earlier today at school? I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s just hard now that my dad has people watching me at school.”
Castiel looked down at his own feet as Dean placed a hand on his face. “Oh. I’m sorry, Dean.”
Dean shook his head ever so slightly and leaned down to kiss him.

* * *

Dean pulled away from the kiss first, and Cas looked up at him, blushing. He felt a warm feeling in his stomach and Dean smiled at how nervous he’d gotten in only a matter of seconds. Dean leaned in for another kiss and slid his hands up to Castiel’s neck. He deepened the kiss and felt the distance between them suddenly close.

Dean started to pull on the hem of Cas' t-shirt with one hand and ran his hands against Cas' bare chest with the other. He broke the kiss quick enough to pull Castiel's t-shirt leaving him shirtless; this was all new to Cas and he was lost, not knowing what to do. He just copied Dean's actions, and slid the t-shirt off of him too. He felt his breath catch as he caught sight of Dean’s body compared to his own and felt his throat close up. He was anxious, and Dean could tell.
"Hey, Cas, don't worry. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. Just follow my lead, and you will be okay." Dean's comforting words gave Castiel some sort of power that made him feel a little bit safer. He slid his finger’s between Cas' and squeezed his hand before he pulled him to his bed where he lay him down gently, not wanting to scare him. The only thing Dean could think about was keeping Cas safe; he would never purposely force him out of his comfort zone like this. Dean carefully straddled Cas and left a trail of kisses from his hips to collar bone. Cas was just lying there not knowing what to do whilst Dean was busy soothing him, goosebumps erupting over his bare arms. All he could do was watch.

"A-are we actually gonna do this Dean?" Cas looked up, worried. He didn’t want to mess it up because he thought that if he did, Dean would never want to do anything like this again and, maybe, just maybe he was actually kind of enjoying it.
Smiling back up at him sweetly, Dean replied by simply nodding. He continued his kisses and then slipped his tongue into Cas' mouth; hands climbing towards Cas' trousers to unbutton them.
"Now, baby, keep looking into my eyes and tell me if you want to stop, okay?" Cas' nodded, biting his lip. Dean felt his whole body flush as he watched Castiel bite his lip ever so softly; this simple action made him want Cas more than ever. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and replaced his mouth over Cas’, kissing him again, more gentle this time. As Dean pulled Cas' trousers off, he managed to wriggle out of his own and they were both in their underwear, neither of them hard.
"You okay?" Dean asked softly.
Castiel nodded. “Honestly, I'm fine."
“Promise?”
“I promise, Dean.”
"Okay, beautiful." Dean winked. Castiel felt his face flush again.

Dean started by stroking Cas gently through his boxers, making him hard quickly. Cas had no idea what to do with his own hands, so he just lay them down next to him and tried to keep looking up at Dean. Dean saw how hesitant Castiel had become and leaned down to kiss his neck ever so softly; quick bites and affectionate kisses layering the surface of his skin. Dean’s hands moved across Castiel’s body; his waist, his thigh, his neck, his chest. Castiel felt Dean’s body begin to move faster on top of him; hands now desperate, kisses now hurried.

Within seconds both were throbbing, grinding. Dean knew it was time to move on.
"Remember, tell me if I go too far." Dean said seriously.
Cas smiled shyly and nodded as he placed a nervous hand on Dean’s side. Dean managed to pull Cas' boxers off, leaving Castiel feeling somewhat exposed and he sat up, quickly disposing of his own.

Reaching over in the small drawer next to the bed, Dean pulled out a condom and some lube. Cas felt a rush of panic wash over his body: this was it…they were really going to do this…for real.
But Dean just shushed him before giving him a reassuring smile. "This might hurt a little, but like I said, just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"

Cas started to whimper as Dean eased in. It was a feeling Castiel never thought he’d ever experience; but it was happening, and it was happening with the most beautiful guy in the world. Once Dean was in, Cas breathed in sharply and let a tear roll down his cheek.
"Cas, baby, you're doing great. Honestly." Dean wiped away the tear and kissed Cas' forehead.
Dean began to move slowly, rocking his hips ever so slightly as Castiel gripped the skin of his back. The pain died down quickly until all Cas could feel was the elation; a strange feeling of pleasure that he couldn’t quite get used to.
"D-dean.” Cas moaned; his voice was dry.
Dean was moaning softly into Castiel’s neck, hot but gentle breaths against his rough skin as he rocked slowly back and forth. He watched Dean’s face and wondered what he was thinking; he looked happy. In fact, Castiel had never seen him this happy with his eyes wrinkling in pleasure and delicate lips against his neck. Castiel stroked the side of his face and ran his hand through Dean’s damp hair; suddenly Castiel felt a sort of hunger for Dean that he didn’t think was possible.

A warmth that started in his stomach suddenly spread throughout his body; his arms, his fingers, his toes. He felt his breathing suddenly quickened and he found himself panting Dean’s name between breaths, his heart straining in his chest as he began to notice every inch of Dean’s bare skin against his own.

"D-Dean... I-I'm gonna... I'm gonna…" Cas couldn't even finish his sentence before coming over Dean’s sweat laden chest. It wasn’t long before Dean came too. Slowly, he pulled out lay down beside Cas; they were exhausted, panting, sweat rolling down their backs and necks.

"You did great, Cas." Dean whispered, stroking Cas' hair with his thumb. Castiel looked up into Dean’s green eyes and felt his cheeks redden as he ran a hand down Dean’s arm, feeling the goosebumps flare beneath his fingertips.
“I…I love you, Dean.”
“I love you too, Cas. I love you so much.” He leaned over to kiss the tip of Castiel’s nose. Without taking his eyes of Cas’, he let his hand run over the other boy’s body.
“I…uh,” Castiel quickly sat up as he felt himself grow hard again, “I think I should get back to Sam and Balthazar. They’re gonna wonder what took me so long.”
“Yeah.” Dean cleared his throat as he reached for his own boxers and a box of tissues. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He watched as Castiel quickly changed and then stood up to kiss him goodbye. “I’ll see you in the morning, beautiful.” Dean mumbled with a sweet grin.
“Yeah, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.” Castiel mumbled shyly, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground.

* * *

Castiel walked back to Sam’s room as slowly as he could because his whole body ached like hell and he couldn’t force the red to disappear from his cheeks. Sam looked up as he entered the room and smiled slightly. Castiel couldn’t decide whether he’d worked out what had just happened. Perhaps they’d been a little too loud? He thought that maybe his hair a mess – could that give it away? But Sam just turned away and was lost in the movie almost instantly.

He sat down between Balthazar and Sam, and then climbed into his sleeping bag. He couldn’t focus on the movie; the only thing on his mind was Dean.

Thank you again to @ilove_beanies for writing the smut. Follow her tumblr: ilove-beanies.tumblr.com
Thank you!!