Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Car Crash Hearts
I was 14 and it was the eve of my 15th birthday. It was just past a quarter till midnight, so I guess I was still 14. I snuck out the side landing of the two story house and picked my way down the old cork tree next to it. When I landed, I lost my balance and landed knees first in the dewy grass, staining my favorite jeans but I could care less.
I ran out to the stop sign at the corner of my street, hands in my pockets and running just out of light of the streetlamps that lined the curb. The air was humid from the showers of April, and much to my liking quite cold. I wrapped my hoodie tighter around me and shivered as I looked up and down the street. I suddenly saw the tale-tale lights of the beat up old Honda, and I felt my heartbeat picking up as it trundled to a stop in front of me. I swear he could see the huge grin on my face as I rushed to the door and impatiently opened it, as soon as I did I threw myself as hard as I could across the seat into his arms. I only saw a flash of the whiteness of his teeth as I buried my head in his neck, inhaling his smell greedily.
“Hey sugar,” he paused a moment and buried his face into my hair without another word. “I missed you.” I heard the muffed confession into my hair.
I couldn’t think of any words to express how wide the void in my heart, and how he managed to fill every space of it perfectly, so I only smiled in response. “Me too.”
I was the one to pull back, reminding myself that we were still in plain sight of my house.
“Neverland?” I nodded and he put the blinker on to turn right. While he drove, I watched out the window, and when he slipped his hand in mine, normally I would have continued watching the lights of Chicago and clung to his without thought. Tonight, even though it was a normal link, I felt electric tingles shooting from my fingertips up through my arm. He side-glanced me, and I could see in his twinkling eyes he felt the same surge. He drove down the back streets and while he turned the blinker on again.
“I made you this,” he said, producing a CD from inside his hoodie.
“For me, wow, you’re soo romantic.” I teased, taking it and I couldn't help my grin.
“Shuddup.” He joked, but he was acting different. I thought about it, but let it go I looked at the dash on the car. “Crap, it only has a tapedeck.”
“I came prepared,” he said, half-smirking at me.
When we got there, he shut the engine off and we got out, our feet running on autopilot as we approached our sanctuary. It was only a five minute escape from our separate purgatories of being apart, but they could have been stars away for how nonexistent those feelings were when I was with him.
The dark hulk of the mausoleum loomed into view shortly. Although the only light came from the full moon, we knew our way by heart between the graves to reach it. We got to the clear spot on the grassy hill that was worn so thin from our bodies and he stopped me. He went a little up the hill and returned with a bundle, a red checked blanket I could make out. He set it down and took something out of it, shaking the blanket out and setting it down. I smiled at him and sat down next to him on it, and he took one of my hands again.
When I was with him, there was no hiding who we were. Everything poured itself out into the thin air of the night and left there, hanging.
“Close your eyes.”
I did. There was nothing he asked that I wouldn’t do.
Suddenly I felt something cloth and solid in my hands and I opened them, it was a something glass wrapped in a hoodie. Questioningly, I looked at it, but before I could open it he stopped me. “No, not yet, when you’re alone.”
“What's in it, love notes?” I asked jokingly, my curiosity making my eyes squint up as I grinned. I knew this because he would always laugh and say I looked asian. I would punch his arm and tell him it was because I had native American in my blood.
“Okay, Tigerlily,” He put up his hands defensively laughed, his eyes twinkling, because he could tell exactly what I was thinking.
“It’s a secret.”
“Is it a good one?”
“You’ll find out,” he said with a devilish grin. I returned the smile to him as I looked at the jar again and shook it.
“Hey!” he whined, trying to take it from me. I held it away from him as he reached, I scooted away and he grabbed me around my middle and flipped me on my back. The real reason I had done it was because I knew he would wrestle with me, and I would get to intertwine my body with his. It was my favorite feeling. He grabbed me and when he sat back, I ended up in his lap with my legs on either side of him. He managed to grab it from me, though I let him, and he leaned back and set it on the other side of him.
“You can have it back when we leave,” he said. My face heated as I realized our faces were less than a foot apart, and I watched his eyes as they took in my face and rested on my lips. I couldn’t think straight when he was this close, the only thing that registered was that I hoped he couldn’t hear my heart beating, I was sure he could hear it in the quiet graveyard. I closed my eyes instinctively.
I felt his warm breath dusting gently on my face as he came closer, then his lips gently pressed to mine. The rush of tingles to the back of my neck and spine drew to intoxicate me, his lips so warm and soft but demanding at the same time. He deepened the kiss, his tongue coming to gently open my mouth further as he tilted my head back, his other hand rested at my back and gently made my body curve into his as he leaned us both back to the ground, my knees falling to the side. He had his weight on both his elbows and knees, being careful not to crush me. I moved my lips against his, feeling a strange wave of tingles in my belly, my senses clouded. I didn’t want it to end. We finally had to pull away, our chests slightly heaving as we gulped fresh air. He rested his forehead against mine, opening his eyes to meet mine. The most beautiful honey-hazel I’d ever seen.
He sat up and his lips curved into that smile. My favorite thing in the whole world. It would begin as a lazy sort of tom-cat smile; the one that he could have been famous for, but his eyes would crinkle and his mouth would open just a little. I liked to think I was the only person in the world that was allowed to see it. It wasn’t often you would see a genuine smile from Pete Wentz.
“I learned a song for you,” he said, as if suddenly remembering, and he stood and dusted his knees, going back to where he’d left the contents of the bundle. He returned with a guitar, sitting again next to me and positioning it over his knee.
“I stole this from Joe’s asshole brother,” he smiled at me. To most people it was kind of a weird thing to do, to me, to us, who never had much in the world, it was one of the most romantic gesture he had ever done.
“But what about the cd, Panda?” I said, clutching it to my chest.
He grinned. “I put the original on there, along with one I recorded. That way you can keep it.”
“Okay,” he said, clearing his throat and biting his lip nervously. “Here goes. I can’t sing, but, you’ll get the message.”
He started softly, he messed up a few chords here and there and his voice was off-key, but to me it was beautiful.
“If you didn't care
What happened to me
And I didn't care
For you
We would
Zig-zag our way
Through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain
Wondering which of the buggers to blame
And watching
For pigs on the wing
You know that I care what happens to you,
and I know that you care for me,
so I don't feel alone,
or the weight of the stone,
now that I've found somewhere safe
to bury my bone.
And any fool knows a dog needs a home,
a shelter from pigs on the wing”
When he was done, he nervously tapped his fingers against the body of the guitar and he didn’t look at me for a second. I knew he was thinking about what he was going to say by the way his lips skewed.
“Basically, you’re my bone. You make me feel safe. I used to always dream about dying by myself, and about truly being alive, now I only dream about being with you,” he said softly.
He skewed his lips again and laughed his husky laugh. “I hope this isn’t weird.”
He set the guitar to the side and scooted closer to me, taking my hand again. He looked into my eyes. “I think I love you.”
“Do you?”
I said it before I could think about what he had just confessed. It was the most vulnerable he had ever looked, his eyes staring fearfully right back into mine. He had always said he loved me, just the same way I had said it right back to him and Joey all the time.
This was different.
Before I knew it my lips were back on his as I silenced all his questions and fears. I didn’t have to say it to know that I meant what I wanted to tell him. I did anyways.
“I love you.”
I wrapped my hand through the spaces in his, perfectly made for each other, and we lay back and stared at the stars.
I had never felt so free.
♠ ♠ ♠
Song: Pigs on the Wing Pt 1 and 2- Pink Floyd.
Love this song, it means a lot to me.
I think I should clarify a little for you guys: the mystery and not-knowing are some of the main themes of this story. It is meant to be a little confusing at first, but you will understand soon. I'm posting at least one more chapter later tonight, so be ready for it.
Please comment! If you like what you read, if you hate it, if you have suggestions or if you want to write me a love letter :3 Thank you guys for all the support on this! Especially thanks to Ali (birds ate my face)for inspiring me! xoxo
Shameless Plug Time? Yes!
First of all, anything by the amazing birds ate my face
Seriously, she's amazing, go read all her stuff. Some of my favorites are
This Is Me & You Until We've Got Nothing Left
Puncher's Chance
And Lady Enigma
Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying
The After Life Of The Party
I ran out to the stop sign at the corner of my street, hands in my pockets and running just out of light of the streetlamps that lined the curb. The air was humid from the showers of April, and much to my liking quite cold. I wrapped my hoodie tighter around me and shivered as I looked up and down the street. I suddenly saw the tale-tale lights of the beat up old Honda, and I felt my heartbeat picking up as it trundled to a stop in front of me. I swear he could see the huge grin on my face as I rushed to the door and impatiently opened it, as soon as I did I threw myself as hard as I could across the seat into his arms. I only saw a flash of the whiteness of his teeth as I buried my head in his neck, inhaling his smell greedily.
“Hey sugar,” he paused a moment and buried his face into my hair without another word. “I missed you.” I heard the muffed confession into my hair.
I couldn’t think of any words to express how wide the void in my heart, and how he managed to fill every space of it perfectly, so I only smiled in response. “Me too.”
I was the one to pull back, reminding myself that we were still in plain sight of my house.
“Neverland?” I nodded and he put the blinker on to turn right. While he drove, I watched out the window, and when he slipped his hand in mine, normally I would have continued watching the lights of Chicago and clung to his without thought. Tonight, even though it was a normal link, I felt electric tingles shooting from my fingertips up through my arm. He side-glanced me, and I could see in his twinkling eyes he felt the same surge. He drove down the back streets and while he turned the blinker on again.
“I made you this,” he said, producing a CD from inside his hoodie.
“For me, wow, you’re soo romantic.” I teased, taking it and I couldn't help my grin.
“Shuddup.” He joked, but he was acting different. I thought about it, but let it go I looked at the dash on the car. “Crap, it only has a tapedeck.”
“I came prepared,” he said, half-smirking at me.
When we got there, he shut the engine off and we got out, our feet running on autopilot as we approached our sanctuary. It was only a five minute escape from our separate purgatories of being apart, but they could have been stars away for how nonexistent those feelings were when I was with him.
The dark hulk of the mausoleum loomed into view shortly. Although the only light came from the full moon, we knew our way by heart between the graves to reach it. We got to the clear spot on the grassy hill that was worn so thin from our bodies and he stopped me. He went a little up the hill and returned with a bundle, a red checked blanket I could make out. He set it down and took something out of it, shaking the blanket out and setting it down. I smiled at him and sat down next to him on it, and he took one of my hands again.
When I was with him, there was no hiding who we were. Everything poured itself out into the thin air of the night and left there, hanging.
“Close your eyes.”
I did. There was nothing he asked that I wouldn’t do.
Suddenly I felt something cloth and solid in my hands and I opened them, it was a something glass wrapped in a hoodie. Questioningly, I looked at it, but before I could open it he stopped me. “No, not yet, when you’re alone.”
“What's in it, love notes?” I asked jokingly, my curiosity making my eyes squint up as I grinned. I knew this because he would always laugh and say I looked asian. I would punch his arm and tell him it was because I had native American in my blood.
“Okay, Tigerlily,” He put up his hands defensively laughed, his eyes twinkling, because he could tell exactly what I was thinking.
“It’s a secret.”
“Is it a good one?”
“You’ll find out,” he said with a devilish grin. I returned the smile to him as I looked at the jar again and shook it.
“Hey!” he whined, trying to take it from me. I held it away from him as he reached, I scooted away and he grabbed me around my middle and flipped me on my back. The real reason I had done it was because I knew he would wrestle with me, and I would get to intertwine my body with his. It was my favorite feeling. He grabbed me and when he sat back, I ended up in his lap with my legs on either side of him. He managed to grab it from me, though I let him, and he leaned back and set it on the other side of him.
“You can have it back when we leave,” he said. My face heated as I realized our faces were less than a foot apart, and I watched his eyes as they took in my face and rested on my lips. I couldn’t think straight when he was this close, the only thing that registered was that I hoped he couldn’t hear my heart beating, I was sure he could hear it in the quiet graveyard. I closed my eyes instinctively.
I felt his warm breath dusting gently on my face as he came closer, then his lips gently pressed to mine. The rush of tingles to the back of my neck and spine drew to intoxicate me, his lips so warm and soft but demanding at the same time. He deepened the kiss, his tongue coming to gently open my mouth further as he tilted my head back, his other hand rested at my back and gently made my body curve into his as he leaned us both back to the ground, my knees falling to the side. He had his weight on both his elbows and knees, being careful not to crush me. I moved my lips against his, feeling a strange wave of tingles in my belly, my senses clouded. I didn’t want it to end. We finally had to pull away, our chests slightly heaving as we gulped fresh air. He rested his forehead against mine, opening his eyes to meet mine. The most beautiful honey-hazel I’d ever seen.
He sat up and his lips curved into that smile. My favorite thing in the whole world. It would begin as a lazy sort of tom-cat smile; the one that he could have been famous for, but his eyes would crinkle and his mouth would open just a little. I liked to think I was the only person in the world that was allowed to see it. It wasn’t often you would see a genuine smile from Pete Wentz.
“I learned a song for you,” he said, as if suddenly remembering, and he stood and dusted his knees, going back to where he’d left the contents of the bundle. He returned with a guitar, sitting again next to me and positioning it over his knee.
“I stole this from Joe’s asshole brother,” he smiled at me. To most people it was kind of a weird thing to do, to me, to us, who never had much in the world, it was one of the most romantic gesture he had ever done.
“But what about the cd, Panda?” I said, clutching it to my chest.
He grinned. “I put the original on there, along with one I recorded. That way you can keep it.”
“Okay,” he said, clearing his throat and biting his lip nervously. “Here goes. I can’t sing, but, you’ll get the message.”
He started softly, he messed up a few chords here and there and his voice was off-key, but to me it was beautiful.
“If you didn't care
What happened to me
And I didn't care
For you
We would
Zig-zag our way
Through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain
Wondering which of the buggers to blame
And watching
For pigs on the wing
You know that I care what happens to you,
and I know that you care for me,
so I don't feel alone,
or the weight of the stone,
now that I've found somewhere safe
to bury my bone.
And any fool knows a dog needs a home,
a shelter from pigs on the wing”
When he was done, he nervously tapped his fingers against the body of the guitar and he didn’t look at me for a second. I knew he was thinking about what he was going to say by the way his lips skewed.
“Basically, you’re my bone. You make me feel safe. I used to always dream about dying by myself, and about truly being alive, now I only dream about being with you,” he said softly.
He skewed his lips again and laughed his husky laugh. “I hope this isn’t weird.”
He set the guitar to the side and scooted closer to me, taking my hand again. He looked into my eyes. “I think I love you.”
“Do you?”
I said it before I could think about what he had just confessed. It was the most vulnerable he had ever looked, his eyes staring fearfully right back into mine. He had always said he loved me, just the same way I had said it right back to him and Joey all the time.
This was different.
Before I knew it my lips were back on his as I silenced all his questions and fears. I didn’t have to say it to know that I meant what I wanted to tell him. I did anyways.
“I love you.”
I wrapped my hand through the spaces in his, perfectly made for each other, and we lay back and stared at the stars.
I had never felt so free.
♠ ♠ ♠
Song: Pigs on the Wing Pt 1 and 2- Pink Floyd.
Love this song, it means a lot to me.
I think I should clarify a little for you guys: the mystery and not-knowing are some of the main themes of this story. It is meant to be a little confusing at first, but you will understand soon. I'm posting at least one more chapter later tonight, so be ready for it.
Please comment! If you like what you read, if you hate it, if you have suggestions or if you want to write me a love letter :3 Thank you guys for all the support on this! Especially thanks to Ali (birds ate my face)for inspiring me! xoxo
Shameless Plug Time? Yes!
First of all, anything by the amazing birds ate my face
Seriously, she's amazing, go read all her stuff. Some of my favorites are
This Is Me & You Until We've Got Nothing Left
Puncher's Chance
And Lady Enigma
Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying
The After Life Of The Party
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