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[Eric goes to the bar with Buster hidden under his coat]

Eric: Will you stop kicking me? Stop kicking will ya! Fifi. Fifi! Fifi! [Buster keeps trying to stick his head out from under Eric's jacket.] Ssshh.

Man: Hey Eric! You made front page today!

Eric: Yeah. I guess I made some ink.

Man: What ink!

Buster: [Finally getting his head free.] Jeepers Eric. That com com completplech! [Eric stuffs Buster back under his coat forming a big bulge.]

Fifi: So tell me Eric. Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are vous just happy to see moi?

Eric: Cut the comedy Fifi. I've had a very hard day. I've gotta get outta these cuffs.

Fifi: Oh swell.

Fifi leads Eric through a secret door to the hidden door beyond.

Buster: Whooo! Jeepers Eric! That almost killed me! [Fifi turns on the light.] Boy. What is this? Some kind of a secret room?

Fifi: It's a rough gut room. A hold over for probation.

Buster: Oh I get it. A speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlour.

Fifi: The tools are up here Eric.

Buster suddenly runs across the room dragging Eric across with him and knocking Fifi over.

Buster: Look at this. It's a fire hose. Jeepers Eric. This would be a great place to hide.

Buster peers through the holes in the wall and knocks a bottle over with his eyes.

Eric: Crazy toon.

Eric pulls Buster away and in so doing knocks his head on the
low light.

Buster: Watch your head.

Fifi: I thought you said you'd never take another toon case? What, did you have a change of heart?

Eric: [Starts sawing at the handcuffs.] Nothing's changed. Somebody's made a patsy out of me and I'm gonna find out why. [Starts to saw at cuff] Hold still will ya?

Buster slips his hand out of the cuff and stands in front of Eric.

Buster: Does this help?

Eric: Yeah. Thanks...

Eric looks up at Buster and stops sawing. Buster hurriedly puts his hand back in the cuff.

Eric: Do you mean to tell me you could have taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?

Buster: No! Not at any time. Only when it was funny! Plplplplpl! [Shoots across the room to land in a rotating chair.] Come on Eric! Where's your sense of humour?

Fifi: Is he always this funny, or only on days he's wanted for murder?

Buster: [Leaning forward.] Listen. My philosophy is this. If you don't have a good sense of humour, you're better of dead.

Eric: You just make it your wish untill I can figure out what happened to this! [Throws the photo to Fifi]

Buster: What is it Eric?

Eric: Just look at it.

Buster: Mr. Acme's will...

Eric: Yeah, and I think Maroon played the part of sound mind and your wife the sound body.

Buster: [Waving tool in the air.] Why. I resent that innuendo.

Fifi: What's the scheme Eric?

Eric: I don't think they got to the will.

Fifi: But how do vous know?

Eric: Because they were still looking for it after they killed him.

Fifi: Anything I can do?

Eric: Maybe you could go down and check the probate.

Buster: Yeah! Check the probate! Why. My Uncle Thumper had a problem with his probate and he had to take these big pills and drink lots of water.

Eric: Not prostate you idiot! Probate.

Buster: Let me get this straight! You think my boss, R.K.Maroon dropped a safe on Marvin Acme's head so he could get his hands on Toontown?!

Eric: Yeah. That's my hunch. Now, could he stay here for a couple of days?

Fifi: Not going to do anythig crazy is he?

Buster: [Rubbing a file through his ears.] Ooo. Oooh hoo hoo!

Fifi: Where are you going?

Eric: Back to the office.

At Eric's office a shadow of a rabbit casts itself over the door from the inside.

Jessica: Mr. Bunny. Mr. Bunny?

There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Eric emerges from the bathroom.

Jessica: You've got the wrong idea about me Mr. Bunny. I'm a pawn in this just like Buster. Can you help me find him? Just name your price, and I'll pay it.

Eric: Yeah, I bet you will. You've got to have the rabbit to make this scam work.

Jessica: No no no. I love my husband. You've got me all wrong. You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.

Eric: Yeah, well, you don't know how hard it is, being a man, looking at a woman looking the way you do.

Jessica: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

Eric: Were'nt you the one I caught playing pattycake for old man Acme?

Jessica: You didn't catch me Mr. Bunny. You were set up to take those pictures.

Eric: What are you talking about?

Jessica: Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want anything to do with it but he said that if I didn't pose for those pattycake pictures Buster would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything for my husband Mr. Bunny. Anything.

Eric: What a wife.

Jessica: I'm desperate Mr. Bunny. Can't you see how much I need
you?

Eric's trousers fall down.

Fifi: Ahem! Dabbling in water colours Eric?

Eric: Ha.

Eric rapidly tries to pull up his trousers and as he stands up his head comes up between Jessica's breasts.

Eric: Sorry. Ha.

Jessica: Goodbye Eric. My offer stands firm. Think about it.

As Jessica leaves she blows a kiss at Eric which flutters across the room and smacks onto Eric's cheek.

Fifi: Well! [She pulls off the kiss.] Do you want to tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?

Eric: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife!

Fifi: Come on Eric. I caught you with your pants down!

Eric: Yeah, well I didn't... [Fifi leaves.]Fifi, come... Come on Fifi.

[Eric rushes after Fifi catching her outside]

Eric: You don't believe a painted hussy like that could turn my head? She's just trying to get her hands on the rabbit.

Fifi: That's not all she's trying to get her hands on.

Eric: Now look, Fifi, listen. Listen to me. I want you to go out. I want you to buy a new swimsuit cause you and me are going to Catalina. I'm on the verge of wrapping up this case.

Fifi: No you're not Eric. That's what I came to tell you. I stopped by probate. Maroon's not after Toontown like you thought. It's Cloverleaf that want to get their hands on Toontown. They put in the highest bid and unless Mr. Acme's will shows up by midnight tonight Cloverleaf is going to own Toontown.

Eric: What? By midnight tonight?

Fifi: That's right.

Eric: First they buy the red car. Then they want to get their hands on Toontown. I don't get it.

Fifi: Sshhhh.

In the background can be heard Buster singing.

Eric: Buster!

As Eric and Fifi rush off a manhole in the road lifts up to reveal the weasels.

Psycho: Hee hee!

Smart Ass: The rabbit! Call the Judge.

[Inside the bar Buster is singing on the bar]

Buster: '...Oh, Buster is my name,
and laughter is my game!
Come on, cowpoke,
it's just a joke!
Don't sit there on your brain!

Hooo hoo! Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo? Hoo hoo!

'My buddy's Eric B.
A sourpuss you'll see
But when I'm done
He'll ned no gun
Cause a joker he will be.

C, D, F, G. H, I!

I-I-I-I love to raise some cain
Believe me It's no strain
It feels so great
To smash a plate
And look, there is no pain. [Smashes plate on his head.]

The record keeps repeating itself and so so does Buster.

No pain. [Smashes plate on his head.]
No pain. [Smashes plate on his head.]
No pain...

Fifi: Help him!

Eric knocks the needle from the record and grabs Buster by the ears.

Buster: Hooh hooh.

Eric then throws him through the door of the secret room.

Buster: Aaaaarrh!

Buster lands head first in a bucket which gets stuck and Buster struggles to get it off.

Buster: Hey, who turned out the lights? I can't see a thing! What's going on?

Eric: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!

Buster finally kicks the bucket off and Eric catches it.

Buster: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.

Eric: Sit down!

Buster: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.

Eric: Yeah. And when they're done laughing they're gonna call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.

Buster: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.

Eric: Why? Just because you made him laugh?

Buster: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life it's the only weapon we have. Laughter is the most important... [A red light starts to flash.]

Eric: Ssshhh...

Fifi: [Pressing a switch beneath the bar.] Hix-nay. Hix-nay!

Doom enters the bar.

Doom: I'm looking for a murderer... A rabbit. [Most people suddenly leave the bar.] A toon rabbit about yeay... [He pushes a dwarf down to his knees.] ...big.

Fifi: Look, there's no rabbit here so stop harrassing my customers.

Doom: I didn't come here to harrass. I came here to reward.

He walks up to the one armed soldier and grabs his empty sleeve and rubs out the word FRENCH on the menu black board. He then starts to add his own word making the chalk screech and the people in the bar cringe. When he has finished the board reads: 'RABBIT DIP $5000--'

Angelo: Hey! I seen a rabbit.

Doom: Where?

Eric: See.

Buster: GASP.

Doom: Where?

Angelo: He's right here in the bar. Well say hello... [He puts his arms around empty air.] ...Harvey! Heh heh heh!

Buster: I told ya so!

Doom suddenly hears the record player turning and walking over the broken crockery he takes the record off and examines it.

Doom: Merry go round broke down. Quite a loony selection for a group of drunken reprobates.

Everyone in the bar has a guilty silence. Doom sniffs the record.

Doom: He's here!

Doom throws the record like a frisbee and it lodges itself in Stupids mouth.

Weasels: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Doom: Stop that laughing! Have you forgotten what happened last time? If you don't stop that laughing you're gonna end up dead just like your idiot hyena cousins.

Smart Ass: Hey Boss. You want we should dis-resemble the place?

Doom: No sergeant. Dissassembling the place wont be neccessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me. [He taps on the bar with
his walking stick.]

Eric: Huh?

Doom: No toon can resist the shave and a haircut trick.

Eric: I don't know who's toonier. You or Doom...

Eric turns and sees Buster sitting on the desk going mad with the strain of not tapping out the response to Doom's tapping. However his sleeve has caught on the fire hose and he is powerless to help.

Eric: Buster. Buster! Buster! Buster no! Buster don't!

Doom: Shave and a haircut...

Buster: [Bursting through the wall.] Two bits! [Doom grabs him round the throat.] Hhhhmmmh!

Smart Ass: [Indicating Eric.] Hey Judge. What shall we do with the wall flower?

Doom: We'll see to him later. Right now I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me some dip!...

Buster: Gaaaaghhh!

Doom: Does the condemned have anything to say before his sentence is carried out?

Buster: Why yeah. Hhhmmh!

Eric: Fifi. A bourbon. And make it a double.

Fifi: Fine time for a drink Eric. Maybe you'd like a bowl of pretzels to go with it?

Eric: Just pour the drink Fifi. Hey Judge! Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?

Buster: Yeah. Nose plugs would be nice!

Eric: I think you want a drink. How about it Judge?

Doom: Well. Why not. I don't mind prolonging the execution.

Eric: Happy trails.

Buster: No thanks Eric. I'm trying to cut down.

Eric: Drink the drink!

Buster: But I don't want the drink!

Doom: He doesn't want the drink.

Eric: He does.

Buster: I don't!

Eric: You do!

Buster: I don't!

Eric: You do!

Buster: I don't!

Eric: You do!

Buster: I don't!

Eric: You don't!

Buster: I do!

Eric: You don't!

Buster: I do!

Eric: You don't!

Buster: Listen, when I say I do it means I do. Aaaaaaggghh!

Buster leaps into the air and emits the same earpiercing whistling sound as before in Maroon's office, breaking all the bottles and glasses. Eric fights the weasels. As the drink's effect on Buster wears out he nearly falls in the dip but Eric catches him.

Eric: Got you kid!

Buster: Come on Eric! Let's get out of here! Move it pops! [Buster rushes out with Eric following after he has knocked over the barrel of dip to slow down the toons.

Buster: Yeah! That was quick thinking Eric! Nothin' like using the ol' spine flower, the wise noodle, the smart puddin'!

Eric: Buster! Let's use this! [He grabs Buster and throws him in the weasels van.]

Buster: Yaaaaggh! Let's get outta here! What are you waiting for?

Eric: There's no damn key!

From the back comes a voice.

Benny: Hey, you weasels. Let me outta here will ya? Come on. I've
gotta make a living!

Buster: [Opening the hatch and looking back.] Benny! Is that you?

Benny: No! It's Helena Roosevelt! Come on Buster. Let me outta here!

Buster squezes through the hatch and the love letter to Jessica falls into Eric's lap. He puts it in his pocket.

Buster: Eric! We got ourselves a ride! Open the doors!

Eric opens the van doors and a toon taxi cab leaps out.

Benny: Ah! That's better! I can't believe they locked me up for driving on a sidewalk!

Buster: Come on Eric! Get in!

Benny: It was just a coupl'a miles!

Eric: I'll drive.

Buster: But I wanna drive.

Benny: No! I'll drive! I'm the cab! [Nearly running a man over.] Outta my way pencil neck! How about this weather huh? It never rains!

Smart Ass: [Rushing out with the rest of the weasels.] They stole the cab. Let's go!

Benny: And how about those Brookland Dodgers! Aren't they bums or what?

Smart Ass: Move over. I'm driving.

Buster: [Looking back.] Benny. Eric. We've got company!

Benny: Will you look at these two? Excuse me ladies! [Squeezes between two cars.]

Buster: Yaaaaaaaagghhh!

Benny: Now that's what I call a couple of road hogs!

Smart Ass: I'm gonna blow his head off!

Smart Ass shoots out of the window but misses. A tram pulls out
in front of Benny.

Buster: Benny! Look out for the... Yaaaaggghhhhhh! Eric! There's cops right behind us!

Benny: Not for long Buster! [Reverses down alley way.] Now they're right in front of us!

Buster: Eric! We're going backwards! Turn us around! Give me the wheel! Give me the wheel! [Benny spins round] The cops are still on our tail!

Eric: I know the cops are still on our tail. What do you think I am, bli--? Benny!!

In front of them they see the weasels driving straight for them.

Benny: Pull the lever!

Buster: Which one? Which one? Which one?!

A sign appears on the dashboard with an arrow and the words 'This Lever Stupid'.

Smart Ass: I'm gonna ram `em.

Just before the weasels hit them Benny suddenly raises up on his wheels and drives over the van.

Benny: I'm getting to old for this!

The weasels collide with the cops and send them flying.

Buster: Jumping Jeepers!

Benny: Hey Buster. What do you call in the middle of a song?

Buster: Gee, I don't know Benny. A BRIDGE!!!

Benny nearly hits a bridge but leaps over the side wall to land
on the road, nearly hitting a woman and smashing through the railings in the middle.

Benny: Well fellas. Where can I drop ya?

Buster: Somewhere we can hide.

Benny: I got just the place. And incidently, if you should ever need a ride just stick out your thumb! Hey ladies! Share the road will ya!