Categories > Celebrities > Motley Crue > Saving Nikki
CHAPTER 13: Torn
I can barely contain my excitement as Nikki and I board a plane for LA that night after the show. We're returning to Nikki's while the band has five days off. Im really looking forward to some down time with Nikki. I can see how tired he is from the road. Maybe without the nightly shows he will have no use for the coke. The first day back I plan to do nothing but sleep in Nikki's arms. The second day we arent getting out of bed. Hopefully we wont be straying too far from bed at all.
I notice on the flight that Nikki is rather quiet. His mind seems to be preoccupied by something. My own excitement keeps me from thinking much about it. I just write it off as him being wiped out from the road. On the plane we have to keep up the charade of only a working relationship. We cant give the press anything to write about. I cant wait to land this plane and get Nikki alone.
When the plane touches down in LA there is a limo to meet us. We get in and I see across from us a pale skinny guy with greasy hair. Nikki says hello to him and takes something from his hand. Before I can see what it is Nikki is rolling up his sleeve. Its then that I can see the syringe and that familiar brownish gold liquid. My heart sinks. I want to scream no but I know its no use. I can only sit helplessly and watch as Nikki shoots up in the back of the limo.
He seems so calm and relaxed afterwards. He looks up to the grungy guy across from us with his heavily sedated eyes and mumbles, "This is my girl."The guy nods at me and extends a small brown paper sack out to Nikki. I can only assume as to what may be in it. Nikkis too high to even notice the disappointment on my face. Before we can make it to Nikki's house he has nodded off in the back of the limo. The nasty guy across from me seems to have that smacked out look on his face as well.
When we finally arrive at Nikki's house I have to wake him up. "Nikki wake up...we're home." He opens his eyes and scans around for the brown paper bag which I have since put in my purse. "I have it, its in my purse," I tell him.
He lets out a faint hint of a laugh, "Thats my girl," he struggles to get out.I help him inside and get him to his room. I guess he passes out because he lays there without moving for hours as I watch some TV. MTV is playing their video for smoking in the boys room over and over.
When he starts to stir I turn to look at him. Hes groggy but lucid. "Mmmm...wheres my shit?" He asks me.
I walk over to my purse, pull it out and hand it to him.
"Thanks baby," He says taking the bag and opening it. At a glance I notice there is alot of dope there, and more than one kind. It appears to be coke and heroin. I sit back and watch as he mixes the two together and injects them. He seems to maintain on that and I honestly cant tell which of the two is dominating him more.
The next few days play out this way. There is no sweet love making as I had hoped. Nikki has no sex drive, the drugs seem to cancel it out. There is no cuddleing and hand holding and kisses. Nikki hasnt slept since we got here. Theres no dinner at resaraunts. Nikki never eats. There is nothing but the dope. I may as well not even be here. I dont think Nikki even notices that Im here at all. It would stand to reason that he most likely wouldnt notice if I were gone.
On the fourth morning I stretch in Nikki's bed and open my eyes. The room is quiet and I assume Nikki is in another room. "Dont move." I hear Nikki saying. I turn my head to look and see him at the side of the bed on his knees on the floor. He is holding a gun stretched out in an aiming position across the bed. The barren of the gun is but a mere inch higher than my stomach. He is aiming at the window. I look to the window but I see nothing. The shade is pulled and the curtains drawn.
"Nikki," I say.
"Shhhh....listen...you hear em?" His eyes are wild and frightening.
"No," I sigh, "I dont hear anything."
About that time the gun goes off and I scream as if Nikki has shot me. I have to look and check to make sure that he hasnt. I look over at Nikki and find him reloading his gun. I dont know why, theres still plenty of shots left. "He aint getting in...goddamn Mexican motherfucker..."
"You idiot!" I yell, "You could have shot me!"
Nikki looks at me for a moment like hes comprehending what Im saying.then I see his wild black eyes dart back over to the shattered window. Then he is grabbing me by the arm and pulling me from the bed. "Get down, theyre coming!!!" He drags me by my arm across the carpet and into the closet. He locks the door and puts his ear to the door.
"Nikki theres nobody out there!" I yell.
"Shhhh," he says struggling to hear.
I start to look around at my surroundings. There are plastic lemons everywhere. Theres spoons, tin foil, candles, lighters, broken needles, blood stains, cigarette burns and buts, and Nikki's diary. Its like a dope heads club house. It looks like Nikki spends way too much time in here. Little do I know Im about to also. Its nine hours before Nikki comes down enough to listen to reason. He wont let me go to the bathroom or anything. I finally just jump up and leave tired of being party to his madness.
"If Mexicans get me then so be it!" I yell as I storm from the closet and go into the bathroom. I guess when he sees that they havent got me he starts to come around. This is not the five days off I was looking for.
I can barely contain my excitement as Nikki and I board a plane for LA that night after the show. We're returning to Nikki's while the band has five days off. Im really looking forward to some down time with Nikki. I can see how tired he is from the road. Maybe without the nightly shows he will have no use for the coke. The first day back I plan to do nothing but sleep in Nikki's arms. The second day we arent getting out of bed. Hopefully we wont be straying too far from bed at all.
I notice on the flight that Nikki is rather quiet. His mind seems to be preoccupied by something. My own excitement keeps me from thinking much about it. I just write it off as him being wiped out from the road. On the plane we have to keep up the charade of only a working relationship. We cant give the press anything to write about. I cant wait to land this plane and get Nikki alone.
When the plane touches down in LA there is a limo to meet us. We get in and I see across from us a pale skinny guy with greasy hair. Nikki says hello to him and takes something from his hand. Before I can see what it is Nikki is rolling up his sleeve. Its then that I can see the syringe and that familiar brownish gold liquid. My heart sinks. I want to scream no but I know its no use. I can only sit helplessly and watch as Nikki shoots up in the back of the limo.
He seems so calm and relaxed afterwards. He looks up to the grungy guy across from us with his heavily sedated eyes and mumbles, "This is my girl."The guy nods at me and extends a small brown paper sack out to Nikki. I can only assume as to what may be in it. Nikkis too high to even notice the disappointment on my face. Before we can make it to Nikki's house he has nodded off in the back of the limo. The nasty guy across from me seems to have that smacked out look on his face as well.
When we finally arrive at Nikki's house I have to wake him up. "Nikki wake up...we're home." He opens his eyes and scans around for the brown paper bag which I have since put in my purse. "I have it, its in my purse," I tell him.
He lets out a faint hint of a laugh, "Thats my girl," he struggles to get out.I help him inside and get him to his room. I guess he passes out because he lays there without moving for hours as I watch some TV. MTV is playing their video for smoking in the boys room over and over.
When he starts to stir I turn to look at him. Hes groggy but lucid. "Mmmm...wheres my shit?" He asks me.
I walk over to my purse, pull it out and hand it to him.
"Thanks baby," He says taking the bag and opening it. At a glance I notice there is alot of dope there, and more than one kind. It appears to be coke and heroin. I sit back and watch as he mixes the two together and injects them. He seems to maintain on that and I honestly cant tell which of the two is dominating him more.
The next few days play out this way. There is no sweet love making as I had hoped. Nikki has no sex drive, the drugs seem to cancel it out. There is no cuddleing and hand holding and kisses. Nikki hasnt slept since we got here. Theres no dinner at resaraunts. Nikki never eats. There is nothing but the dope. I may as well not even be here. I dont think Nikki even notices that Im here at all. It would stand to reason that he most likely wouldnt notice if I were gone.
On the fourth morning I stretch in Nikki's bed and open my eyes. The room is quiet and I assume Nikki is in another room. "Dont move." I hear Nikki saying. I turn my head to look and see him at the side of the bed on his knees on the floor. He is holding a gun stretched out in an aiming position across the bed. The barren of the gun is but a mere inch higher than my stomach. He is aiming at the window. I look to the window but I see nothing. The shade is pulled and the curtains drawn.
"Nikki," I say.
"Shhhh....listen...you hear em?" His eyes are wild and frightening.
"No," I sigh, "I dont hear anything."
About that time the gun goes off and I scream as if Nikki has shot me. I have to look and check to make sure that he hasnt. I look over at Nikki and find him reloading his gun. I dont know why, theres still plenty of shots left. "He aint getting in...goddamn Mexican motherfucker..."
"You idiot!" I yell, "You could have shot me!"
Nikki looks at me for a moment like hes comprehending what Im saying.then I see his wild black eyes dart back over to the shattered window. Then he is grabbing me by the arm and pulling me from the bed. "Get down, theyre coming!!!" He drags me by my arm across the carpet and into the closet. He locks the door and puts his ear to the door.
"Nikki theres nobody out there!" I yell.
"Shhhh," he says struggling to hear.
I start to look around at my surroundings. There are plastic lemons everywhere. Theres spoons, tin foil, candles, lighters, broken needles, blood stains, cigarette burns and buts, and Nikki's diary. Its like a dope heads club house. It looks like Nikki spends way too much time in here. Little do I know Im about to also. Its nine hours before Nikki comes down enough to listen to reason. He wont let me go to the bathroom or anything. I finally just jump up and leave tired of being party to his madness.
"If Mexicans get me then so be it!" I yell as I storm from the closet and go into the bathroom. I guess when he sees that they havent got me he starts to come around. This is not the five days off I was looking for.
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