Categories > Celebrities > Motley Crue > Saving Nikki
CHAPTER 23: Giving Up
TOMMY'S P.O.V.
Something in Sixx died when Jen left him. He stays so loaded now he can barely walk. Crew has to literally dress him before a show. Then I have to go in and shoot him full of coke. Its hard finding a vein, I usually have to shoot it straight into his jugular. It makes him come around enough to do the show, but his heart just isnt in it anymore. Once we get off stage he vanishes quicker than smoke. The only thing he can think about is getting out of there and back to his null and void state.
When Nikki is high on the heroin he is reduced to the state of an infant. He never talks to me anymore. He is always alone. He has no interest in his fans. He doesnt even seem like he wants to be Nikki Sixx anymore. He looks like he has a death wish. He looks like he already has one foot in the grave. Weve all tried to get him to see a doctor but he wont. Hes afraid I think of what they would tell him. If this keeps up hes not going to make it to the end of this tour. I wish I knew how to help him.
That night before the show I can see Doc beating on Nikki's door. "Get the fuck up you little shit!" He pounds on the door.
"Whats up?" I ask, "cant get Sixxer up again?" Waking nikki takes air raid horns and sirens these days. I walk to the door. "Come on dude, its show time!" I turn to see the hotel manager with keys. He opens Nikkis door for us.
Its pitch black in the room. Doc flips on the light and I see Nikki sprawled out on the bed on his stomach. "Come on dude," I say grabbing his arm and rolling him over. I instantly notice his lips are blue. Then I see the needle stuck in his ankle. "Call an ambulance!" I shout. I can see he isnt breathing. I begin pounding on this chest. "You stupid fuck! Come on...breathe!"
The room is quickly starting to fill with people. "Does anybody know CPR?" Doc shouts. Someone comes over and attempts it. Time just stopped for me as I stood there looking at Nikki. He was fucking dead. The stupid jerk had finally killed himself. Was he happy now. What a selfish son of a bitch.
Paramedics finally came. They instantly loaded him on a stretcher. My heart fell to the floor as they threw a sheet over his face. I knew if they werent even trying to save him he must have really been gone. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to go where they took him. I couldnt leave him even though he had had no problem leaving all of us.
They loaded him in an ambulance. I just couldnt stop staring at that sheet over him. I was distracted by the paramedic. "Oh shit youre Tommy Lee. Im a huge crue head man.H he looks from me to the gurney, "who have we got here? A friend of yours?"
"N-Nikki Sixx," I manage to say.
The paramedic rips back the sheet. "Holy shit!" He quickly begins searching for things with fumbling hands. He fills a syringe, holds it to the light and climbs on top of Nikki. "Nobody dies in my ambulance." He plunged down in a stabbing motion into the side of Nikkis heart but nothing happens. He fills the needle again and plunged down hard once more. I see Nikki's eyes open and he lifts his head. He says something but its jibberish.
"Nikki! Fuckin shit dude you must be related to a cat!"
the paramedic began putting in IVs and getting vitals. Nikki was fucking dead and gone and this guy saved him. I dont know how but he did. I have to let everyone know that he made it. I cant believe he did.
"Dude...he was dead right?" I ask the paramedic.
"Yes for over two minutes."
"How did you bring him back?"
"Adrenalin. It sort of kickstarts the heart. It took alot but I couldnt let Nikki Sixx die on my watch."
TOMMY'S P.O.V.
Something in Sixx died when Jen left him. He stays so loaded now he can barely walk. Crew has to literally dress him before a show. Then I have to go in and shoot him full of coke. Its hard finding a vein, I usually have to shoot it straight into his jugular. It makes him come around enough to do the show, but his heart just isnt in it anymore. Once we get off stage he vanishes quicker than smoke. The only thing he can think about is getting out of there and back to his null and void state.
When Nikki is high on the heroin he is reduced to the state of an infant. He never talks to me anymore. He is always alone. He has no interest in his fans. He doesnt even seem like he wants to be Nikki Sixx anymore. He looks like he has a death wish. He looks like he already has one foot in the grave. Weve all tried to get him to see a doctor but he wont. Hes afraid I think of what they would tell him. If this keeps up hes not going to make it to the end of this tour. I wish I knew how to help him.
That night before the show I can see Doc beating on Nikki's door. "Get the fuck up you little shit!" He pounds on the door.
"Whats up?" I ask, "cant get Sixxer up again?" Waking nikki takes air raid horns and sirens these days. I walk to the door. "Come on dude, its show time!" I turn to see the hotel manager with keys. He opens Nikkis door for us.
Its pitch black in the room. Doc flips on the light and I see Nikki sprawled out on the bed on his stomach. "Come on dude," I say grabbing his arm and rolling him over. I instantly notice his lips are blue. Then I see the needle stuck in his ankle. "Call an ambulance!" I shout. I can see he isnt breathing. I begin pounding on this chest. "You stupid fuck! Come on...breathe!"
The room is quickly starting to fill with people. "Does anybody know CPR?" Doc shouts. Someone comes over and attempts it. Time just stopped for me as I stood there looking at Nikki. He was fucking dead. The stupid jerk had finally killed himself. Was he happy now. What a selfish son of a bitch.
Paramedics finally came. They instantly loaded him on a stretcher. My heart fell to the floor as they threw a sheet over his face. I knew if they werent even trying to save him he must have really been gone. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to go where they took him. I couldnt leave him even though he had had no problem leaving all of us.
They loaded him in an ambulance. I just couldnt stop staring at that sheet over him. I was distracted by the paramedic. "Oh shit youre Tommy Lee. Im a huge crue head man.H he looks from me to the gurney, "who have we got here? A friend of yours?"
"N-Nikki Sixx," I manage to say.
The paramedic rips back the sheet. "Holy shit!" He quickly begins searching for things with fumbling hands. He fills a syringe, holds it to the light and climbs on top of Nikki. "Nobody dies in my ambulance." He plunged down in a stabbing motion into the side of Nikkis heart but nothing happens. He fills the needle again and plunged down hard once more. I see Nikki's eyes open and he lifts his head. He says something but its jibberish.
"Nikki! Fuckin shit dude you must be related to a cat!"
the paramedic began putting in IVs and getting vitals. Nikki was fucking dead and gone and this guy saved him. I dont know how but he did. I have to let everyone know that he made it. I cant believe he did.
"Dude...he was dead right?" I ask the paramedic.
"Yes for over two minutes."
"How did you bring him back?"
"Adrenalin. It sort of kickstarts the heart. It took alot but I couldnt let Nikki Sixx die on my watch."
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