Categories > Celebrities > Metallica > Ripe
I cried myself to sleep the night I broke up with Kirk; the morning after I felt exhausted and ignored everybody for the rest of the day. The news about the ending of our relationship spread around quickly, so nobody tried to inquire or bother me for my foul mood.
I was self-aware enough to know that if I let my mind wander I would end up overwhelmed by my feelings; guilt, regret, sadness, anger, sorrow, they would all came to me and push me into a depressive state. It would pass after a few days, but I couldn’t afford to become a useless wreck when I had a job to do. I didn’t want to be a burden for the other guys, so I decided to throw myself headlong into work; I did everything I could to keep myself occupied and my mind distracted.
Fortunately, there’s always something to do in a road crew so, when I wasn’t busy with my normal duties as a bass tech, I helped other people with their work. I tried to find something to do at any time of the day, anything to keep myself in use, not to think about what had happened. I worked like a robot, talking as little as possible; I didn’t want to allow myself a moment of pause or relaxing. Keep going, don’t think, just concentrate on your tasks, beat down every emotion.
At night, I was so drained that I just fell into a dreamless sleep. It was way better than having bad thoughts hunting my mind, but it did nothing to restore my energy.
Obviously that kind of frenzy couldn’t last long, all the caffeine I would ingest wasn’t enough to keep me going forever and after a week, I nearly fainted right before the end of a concert. I refused to see any doctor but accepted to go back to the hotel to rest after the insistent demand from the crew guys.
I took a long, warm shower, enjoying the feeling of the water sliding down my skin. When I came out of the shower, my muscles were aching a little less and my mind wasn’t as numb as before, but I still had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
As I caught my reflection in the mirror, I gasped like I had seen a zombie. I looked horrible, tired and disheveled, with deep shadows under my eyes and dull skin. There were small scratches and bruises over my body; apparently, I had been scratching myself out of stress during sleep. How lucky I am to have very short nails. I knew I couldn’t keep going on like that, it would have damaged my health, but I didn’t want to deal with my feelings neither.
I was drying my hair when I felt a knock on the door. Strange. I thought. As I couldn’t sleep with Kirk anymore, I had been rooming with the other instrument techs, and they had said they would leave me alone for the night so I could rest. When I opened the door, there was Jason smiling at me with a bottle of Brandy in his hand.
“Jason, what are you doing here?”
“Just wanted to check on my bass tech. How are you feeling?”
Ah! Now, that’s a good question. “Good, good. Well, better than before; a good night of sleep will help.”
“Do you mind if I come in? I won’t stay for long, I promise.”
“Um, ok, but I’m not very sociable at the moment, I’m afraid.”
“Don’t worry about that. You’ve been miserable for an entire week and I’d like to know why.”
I sighed. I had been trying to escape that moment of self-confession, but that night it seemed inevitable.
Jason took off his shoes and sat on the bed. I was half willing to tell him to go away because I was too tired, but then opted to go for it. Maybe a friend is what I need. I sat next to Jason and took a shot of Brandy.
“Well, I guess you already know about what happened between Kirk and me.”
“I know that you broke up with him. I knew that something was off between you two, but I thought you could work it out.”
I drank some more, trying to loosen the knot I had in my throat. “I… I tried, I tried so hard.” I sobbed. “I really wanted to work it out, but nothing I did was good enough.” Tears started to run down my cheeks; Jason held me in his arms and stroked my back. “I’ve handled this all wrong and still, if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t know how to do any different. I failed us, Jason, and now what we had is gone.”
“Don’t take all the blame on yourself, April, Kirk was part of it too. You did all you could and your heart was in the right place. Kirk didn’t even bother to try, as much as he loved you. In the end, you had to let it go for your own sake.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I realize that, it doesn’t make me feel any better, though.”
“You’ll be alright, just give it time.”
We drank and talked, or better, he let me talk and spill all my bottled up feelings. It was actually much more useful than working to the point of exhaustion or withdrawing into myself, wallowing alone in my own negativity.
“I had even planned a romantic trip to Philadelphia for his birthday. God, talk about wishful thinking.” I said.
“Philadelphia? What’s so romantic about the city, the Rocky Steps?”
“No, I wanted to bring him to the Mütter Museum. He would have love it.” Jason knitted his brows. Kirk wasn’t much of a museum kind of guy.
“It’s a museum of medical oddities, you know, anatomical specimens, medical equipment, bizarre abnormalities, stuff like that.”
“That’s… really romantic.” He said unconvinced.
“Oh, come on, can you think of anything more Kirk-like?”
“No, you are right, it would be the perfect place to romance Hammett.”
“For my 23rd birthday, he took me to Salton Sea. Ever been there?”
“No, and I’m afraid to ask what’s so special about it.”
“It’s an artificial lake created by accident that used to be a popular tourist destination in the 1950’s and 1960’s. However, the agricultural wastes from the nearby farms polluted the lake increasing the salinity of its water and causing alga blooms; this caused a dramatic drop of the fish population and the death by botulism of the birds that ate them. Slowly, the place began to be avoided and abandoned, only a few people still visit it or live there.”
“And he took you there because…”
“Because he knew I would love it. Figure out the scene: you are coming to this lake, which has the deepest blue water you’ve ever seen. Then you arrive, and you discover that it was just an illusion; the lake is of a brownish colour and it smells like rotten eggs. This almost unbearable stink comes from the bodies of the dead fish and birds lying around the place; if the temperature is hot enough, you can feel it burning deep down your throat. The area is desert with little vegetation, abandoned buildings, infrastructures and caravans are scattered here and there; if you barge into them, you can still see the stuff people left there going to waste. Kirk and I even took a few souvenirs. The few locals still living there look like trapped into the middle of nowhere, stuck in a place with no time and no escape.”
“What a lovely place, how can a girl resist?”
“It’s a place that looks like a post-apocalyptic wasteland, what’s not to love?”
“Right, I forgot about your weird tastes. You and Kirk really were made for each other.” From my pained expression, he quickly realized that it wasn’t the best thing to say. “God, sorry, I didn’t mean to. Sorry!”
I shook my head, my eyes filling again with tears. “No, don’t worry, I’m alright. I’ll be feeling a little blue for some time, but I’m alright.”
I guzzled some more Brandy; we had almost drunk it all. “Ok, as long as you don’t resort to alcoholism to drown your sorrows.” Jason said, taking the bottle away from me.
“Oh no, that’s your band’s prerogative.”
“Damn right. I’ll let you get some sleep now.” He said getting up, but I took his arm and dragged him down.
“No, stay, I like your company.”
“Aren’t you tired? It’s kinda late.”
I rested my head on Jason’s shoulder as he hugged me. It was really soothing, I liked his touch; I closed my eyes and shifted closer to him. Jason’s hands on me, combined with all the alcohol I had ingested, made me feel warm. And horny. I was quite sexually frustrated, since sex between me and Kirk had been so scant and unsatisfactory for weeks. I wanted to get laid, pure and simply. I wanted a good, long, relaxing fuck and I was drunk enough to go for it without thinking of the consequences.
I slid my hand up Jason’s neck and gently grabbed his hair. He first looked at me with a puzzled expression but then gulped when I gave him one of my sultry looks. I smirked evilly; that never failed. Slowly, I leaned toward him and kissed him softly. He stood still, but didn’t seem to want to back off, so I started massaging my lips with his; I didn’t press nor tried to rush it. I felt his hands on my back as he pushed me closer to him; finally, he started responding to me.
We kissed deeply with no hurry, nibbling and sucking each other’s lips and tongues. Our hands started roaming under the clothes and I sighed when he interrupted the kiss to concentrate on my neck. It felt good, really good, and I wanted more; I stopped him to take off my t-shirt and unhook my bra. I saw Jason looking at me in awe, and that just turned me on even more. I took off his t-shirt too, grabbed his hands and placed them on my breasts; he didn’t need any more encouragement and started caressing them. He pulled me on his lap and replaced his hands with his mouth, sucking and licking with greed.
I groaned and grabbed Jason’s shoulders when he slid his hands up my thighs and squeezed my ass. I was still tired and a bit sore, so I let him do most of the work; he didn’t seem to mind, though, as he laid me down the bed and took off my shorts and panties. He gently stroke my legs and spread them, then moved to my pussy and slid two fingers inside my cunt, teasing me slowly.
I was hot and wet, my body asking for release. “Give it to me, Jase, I want it.” He stood up and removed his pants, revealing his erection, but I wasn’t able to take a good look at it as he was quickly over me again; he kissed me and entered me, making me groan in pleasure.
My hands went to grab the pillow as Jason fucked me; his strokes were long and deep, deliciously slow, his hands moved all over my body in gentle caresses. I felt on fire, but also so dizzy and relaxed that I couldn’t do anything but lie down and enjoy his ministrations. When Jason’s thumb reached my clit to rub it, I came moaning his name.
Next day, I woke up after a fast series of loud knocks on the door. I gasped and looked around; I was naked in my bed, alone. I looked at the clock on the nightstand and noticed how late it was. I panicked, and in five minutes I managed to wash myself, get dressed and pack my suitcase; I ran to the hall where Duncan looked at me sternly. “Get on the bus, quick!”
I sat down with the other roadies, who greeted me with little good-natured jokes, with the exception of my room-mates; they casted quick glances at me, then talked between themselves. It took me a few seconds, but then I realized it: I had fucked Jason. They probably had seen us naked in bed. Or maybe they had seen him walking out of the room, but they knew nonetheless. And I had fucked Jason.
Crap.
I was self-aware enough to know that if I let my mind wander I would end up overwhelmed by my feelings; guilt, regret, sadness, anger, sorrow, they would all came to me and push me into a depressive state. It would pass after a few days, but I couldn’t afford to become a useless wreck when I had a job to do. I didn’t want to be a burden for the other guys, so I decided to throw myself headlong into work; I did everything I could to keep myself occupied and my mind distracted.
Fortunately, there’s always something to do in a road crew so, when I wasn’t busy with my normal duties as a bass tech, I helped other people with their work. I tried to find something to do at any time of the day, anything to keep myself in use, not to think about what had happened. I worked like a robot, talking as little as possible; I didn’t want to allow myself a moment of pause or relaxing. Keep going, don’t think, just concentrate on your tasks, beat down every emotion.
At night, I was so drained that I just fell into a dreamless sleep. It was way better than having bad thoughts hunting my mind, but it did nothing to restore my energy.
Obviously that kind of frenzy couldn’t last long, all the caffeine I would ingest wasn’t enough to keep me going forever and after a week, I nearly fainted right before the end of a concert. I refused to see any doctor but accepted to go back to the hotel to rest after the insistent demand from the crew guys.
I took a long, warm shower, enjoying the feeling of the water sliding down my skin. When I came out of the shower, my muscles were aching a little less and my mind wasn’t as numb as before, but I still had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
As I caught my reflection in the mirror, I gasped like I had seen a zombie. I looked horrible, tired and disheveled, with deep shadows under my eyes and dull skin. There were small scratches and bruises over my body; apparently, I had been scratching myself out of stress during sleep. How lucky I am to have very short nails. I knew I couldn’t keep going on like that, it would have damaged my health, but I didn’t want to deal with my feelings neither.
I was drying my hair when I felt a knock on the door. Strange. I thought. As I couldn’t sleep with Kirk anymore, I had been rooming with the other instrument techs, and they had said they would leave me alone for the night so I could rest. When I opened the door, there was Jason smiling at me with a bottle of Brandy in his hand.
“Jason, what are you doing here?”
“Just wanted to check on my bass tech. How are you feeling?”
Ah! Now, that’s a good question. “Good, good. Well, better than before; a good night of sleep will help.”
“Do you mind if I come in? I won’t stay for long, I promise.”
“Um, ok, but I’m not very sociable at the moment, I’m afraid.”
“Don’t worry about that. You’ve been miserable for an entire week and I’d like to know why.”
I sighed. I had been trying to escape that moment of self-confession, but that night it seemed inevitable.
Jason took off his shoes and sat on the bed. I was half willing to tell him to go away because I was too tired, but then opted to go for it. Maybe a friend is what I need. I sat next to Jason and took a shot of Brandy.
“Well, I guess you already know about what happened between Kirk and me.”
“I know that you broke up with him. I knew that something was off between you two, but I thought you could work it out.”
I drank some more, trying to loosen the knot I had in my throat. “I… I tried, I tried so hard.” I sobbed. “I really wanted to work it out, but nothing I did was good enough.” Tears started to run down my cheeks; Jason held me in his arms and stroked my back. “I’ve handled this all wrong and still, if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t know how to do any different. I failed us, Jason, and now what we had is gone.”
“Don’t take all the blame on yourself, April, Kirk was part of it too. You did all you could and your heart was in the right place. Kirk didn’t even bother to try, as much as he loved you. In the end, you had to let it go for your own sake.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I realize that, it doesn’t make me feel any better, though.”
“You’ll be alright, just give it time.”
We drank and talked, or better, he let me talk and spill all my bottled up feelings. It was actually much more useful than working to the point of exhaustion or withdrawing into myself, wallowing alone in my own negativity.
“I had even planned a romantic trip to Philadelphia for his birthday. God, talk about wishful thinking.” I said.
“Philadelphia? What’s so romantic about the city, the Rocky Steps?”
“No, I wanted to bring him to the Mütter Museum. He would have love it.” Jason knitted his brows. Kirk wasn’t much of a museum kind of guy.
“It’s a museum of medical oddities, you know, anatomical specimens, medical equipment, bizarre abnormalities, stuff like that.”
“That’s… really romantic.” He said unconvinced.
“Oh, come on, can you think of anything more Kirk-like?”
“No, you are right, it would be the perfect place to romance Hammett.”
“For my 23rd birthday, he took me to Salton Sea. Ever been there?”
“No, and I’m afraid to ask what’s so special about it.”
“It’s an artificial lake created by accident that used to be a popular tourist destination in the 1950’s and 1960’s. However, the agricultural wastes from the nearby farms polluted the lake increasing the salinity of its water and causing alga blooms; this caused a dramatic drop of the fish population and the death by botulism of the birds that ate them. Slowly, the place began to be avoided and abandoned, only a few people still visit it or live there.”
“And he took you there because…”
“Because he knew I would love it. Figure out the scene: you are coming to this lake, which has the deepest blue water you’ve ever seen. Then you arrive, and you discover that it was just an illusion; the lake is of a brownish colour and it smells like rotten eggs. This almost unbearable stink comes from the bodies of the dead fish and birds lying around the place; if the temperature is hot enough, you can feel it burning deep down your throat. The area is desert with little vegetation, abandoned buildings, infrastructures and caravans are scattered here and there; if you barge into them, you can still see the stuff people left there going to waste. Kirk and I even took a few souvenirs. The few locals still living there look like trapped into the middle of nowhere, stuck in a place with no time and no escape.”
“What a lovely place, how can a girl resist?”
“It’s a place that looks like a post-apocalyptic wasteland, what’s not to love?”
“Right, I forgot about your weird tastes. You and Kirk really were made for each other.” From my pained expression, he quickly realized that it wasn’t the best thing to say. “God, sorry, I didn’t mean to. Sorry!”
I shook my head, my eyes filling again with tears. “No, don’t worry, I’m alright. I’ll be feeling a little blue for some time, but I’m alright.”
I guzzled some more Brandy; we had almost drunk it all. “Ok, as long as you don’t resort to alcoholism to drown your sorrows.” Jason said, taking the bottle away from me.
“Oh no, that’s your band’s prerogative.”
“Damn right. I’ll let you get some sleep now.” He said getting up, but I took his arm and dragged him down.
“No, stay, I like your company.”
“Aren’t you tired? It’s kinda late.”
I rested my head on Jason’s shoulder as he hugged me. It was really soothing, I liked his touch; I closed my eyes and shifted closer to him. Jason’s hands on me, combined with all the alcohol I had ingested, made me feel warm. And horny. I was quite sexually frustrated, since sex between me and Kirk had been so scant and unsatisfactory for weeks. I wanted to get laid, pure and simply. I wanted a good, long, relaxing fuck and I was drunk enough to go for it without thinking of the consequences.
I slid my hand up Jason’s neck and gently grabbed his hair. He first looked at me with a puzzled expression but then gulped when I gave him one of my sultry looks. I smirked evilly; that never failed. Slowly, I leaned toward him and kissed him softly. He stood still, but didn’t seem to want to back off, so I started massaging my lips with his; I didn’t press nor tried to rush it. I felt his hands on my back as he pushed me closer to him; finally, he started responding to me.
We kissed deeply with no hurry, nibbling and sucking each other’s lips and tongues. Our hands started roaming under the clothes and I sighed when he interrupted the kiss to concentrate on my neck. It felt good, really good, and I wanted more; I stopped him to take off my t-shirt and unhook my bra. I saw Jason looking at me in awe, and that just turned me on even more. I took off his t-shirt too, grabbed his hands and placed them on my breasts; he didn’t need any more encouragement and started caressing them. He pulled me on his lap and replaced his hands with his mouth, sucking and licking with greed.
I groaned and grabbed Jason’s shoulders when he slid his hands up my thighs and squeezed my ass. I was still tired and a bit sore, so I let him do most of the work; he didn’t seem to mind, though, as he laid me down the bed and took off my shorts and panties. He gently stroke my legs and spread them, then moved to my pussy and slid two fingers inside my cunt, teasing me slowly.
I was hot and wet, my body asking for release. “Give it to me, Jase, I want it.” He stood up and removed his pants, revealing his erection, but I wasn’t able to take a good look at it as he was quickly over me again; he kissed me and entered me, making me groan in pleasure.
My hands went to grab the pillow as Jason fucked me; his strokes were long and deep, deliciously slow, his hands moved all over my body in gentle caresses. I felt on fire, but also so dizzy and relaxed that I couldn’t do anything but lie down and enjoy his ministrations. When Jason’s thumb reached my clit to rub it, I came moaning his name.
Next day, I woke up after a fast series of loud knocks on the door. I gasped and looked around; I was naked in my bed, alone. I looked at the clock on the nightstand and noticed how late it was. I panicked, and in five minutes I managed to wash myself, get dressed and pack my suitcase; I ran to the hall where Duncan looked at me sternly. “Get on the bus, quick!”
I sat down with the other roadies, who greeted me with little good-natured jokes, with the exception of my room-mates; they casted quick glances at me, then talked between themselves. It took me a few seconds, but then I realized it: I had fucked Jason. They probably had seen us naked in bed. Or maybe they had seen him walking out of the room, but they knew nonetheless. And I had fucked Jason.
Crap.
Sign up to rate and review this story