FicWad

I felt like I was going to cry. Patrick said those words with such hate and looked me in the eyes when doing so he meant them. Is that why he forbid everyone to talk to me? he just didn't want to see me again. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore they automatically just spilled through. his words were like taking a punch to the head with worse pain and being just as confused after. I felt myself collapse to the floor with my knees to my head crying. what was I doing in front of the guys, I was acting like a childish drama queen, but it really did hurt this much. I made myself stand back upI felt someone soothingly rubbing my back and Andy saying

"It will be alright, he didn't mean it." everyone took their turn comforting me and hugging me. until I felt long arms go around me. I buried my head in Brendon's chest and sobbed as I felt him pulling my legs up around his waist and began carrying me somewhere like I was a baby panda.

"don't drop the poor girl" I herd Dallon's voice following behind brendon. then we stopped and I herd a security guard say who's she? and I felt Brendon move my badge around so the guard could see it and say

"my fake wife" then I felt is climb up a few steps. Brendon finally put me down on the couch.

"Is it okay for me to be here right now?" Dallon asked

"of course it is Dallon." I said reassuring him event though I was the one crying.

"what he said was so mean, I've never herd Patrick talk like that to anyone before. everyone knows you love him and that's the worst part, I don't understand why hes been so mean to you." Dallon said sadly.

"he claims to love her but hes always so mean to her." Brendon said.

"you could have any guy on either of these two buses, I'm taken, but except me" Dallon said my crying starts to slow down.

"I thought about thin the whole time I was separated from you all, hopeing he would call. I wasted so much of my like thinking about him just to find out he wouldn't even care if I died. I need to face him." I said.

"if that's what you want." Brendon said picking up his phone and putting it on speaker.

"what are you doing?! you cant let her do that! hell just be mean to her again!" Dallon said shocked.

"I have learned I can't stop her from doing anything, she doesn't need protecting. what she sais goes." Brendon said.

"hello? is she okay?" Pete picked up his phone.

"she's perfectly fine now" Brendon said. I could hear yelling in the back ground over the phone and directly coming from the bus behind us, they were all yelling at Patrick. "she wants to talk to him." brendon said bluntly.

"okay, we'll drag him off the bus so they can have a stand off outside."pete said then hangs up the phone.

"well you herd the man, off the bus." brendon said.

"your not coming?" I asked

"well since you asked" he said jumping up and following me out the door. It was dark outside except for the street lamp and bus lights from the windows above us giving off a lonely glow.
Brendon and Dallon stood by the bus doors anout 4 feet away from where I stood. I felt level headed but still angry. Patrick was almost forcefully taken off the bus by the other three fall out boy members who stood in front of their bus doors Patrick stood a good distance away from me and just looked at me. everything was silent for a minute.

"just tell him" Brendon said reassuringly. I took a deep breath and then spoke.

"I waited for what felt like forever for you to at least text me. to make matters worse you didn't even want the others talking to me. I thought about you so much. I wasted so much of my life thinking of you and wondering where you were and if you missed me too, just to hear you tell me when you came back that you didn't care." I looked at him he just stood there looking like he always did, just like Patrick, awkward, smart, sweet, innocent, but also like new Patrick mean and uncaring, I saw him as both people. "sometimes I missed you so much I would wake up from a dream of you crying, I tried calling you. not only did you hurt my feelings then but yo did couple times today, and in the past you have countless times, and just left Brendon to pick up the pieces. your a jerk." I said. he looked at me a minute before he calmly spoke like the old Patrick I use to know.

"I just wanted you to have a different life. my plan was for us to come back once you had a life with some one else who wasn't me, or one of us. I wanted you to stay out of this spotlight, I didn't want you harmed. I wanted you to have a normal life away from greed and crazy people who want to kill you. I wanted you to have children that wouldn't be hounded by paparazzi on their way to school. I do care, I was just mad and i know I cant ever take it back. I do love you and that's why I wanted this for you." he sounded scared and sad.

"well Patrick, I don't think I can care anymore. and I don't love you anymore you cant control my future or what I want, my life is best left in my own hands. I did want you, but I don't anymore. and you got mad about Brendon's and my joke because you were afraid it was true, that I did marry him, after all I know that's what your the most afraid of me ending up with him. But I'll tell you the truth right now, all those times hes been there to pick up your mess and not pretending to forget about me like you, he's grown on me a lot. you pushed me into your worst fear now its coming true. you just need to learn to accept what ever I decide to do. you just need to move on Patrick,because your not who I thought you were" I said without even yelling at him. I stood there a minute and looked at him. before getting back in the bus. he looked hurt, but seeing him like that didn't hurt me as bad as it use to I still felt okay, I didn't feel like crying. I climbed into my bunk and I could hear Dallon and Brendon settling into theirs too after an hour or so my phone began to vibrate.

"Can I come over?" brendon sent a text

"Come on up here bren." I text back. with in seconds he was crawling into my bunk.

"feeling okay?" Brendon asked.

"yeah, I am surprisingly okay" I said

"did you really mean what you said about me and you?" Brendon asked

"I meant everything I said" I said shooting him a smile in the dark

"good" was all he said. for moment it was silent. "do you still feel like he doesn't care?" Brendon asked.

"I do. do you think he does?" I asked

"I think he does, he always has" he said

"Even if he does, I don't, his words killed something in me. besides I think you care more,you always have and you've shown me that so many times."

"I love you" he said all of a sudden. my heart stopped for a moment. what do I say? I guess I'll just say how I really feel.

"I love you too Brendon" I said feeling fine with my answer

"Then we should actually get married" he said matter of factually. I knew how to respond to "I love you" but not this. I just went silent.

"the way you said about Patrick when we were all away from you is the exact way I felt about you. and I've been thinking this over for a while now and I like the Idea" he said.

"Is that why you had the rings?" I asked feeling scared on the inside.

"It is." he answered.


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She's the only girl I've ever felt anything real for. the thought of marriage has come up in my mind a few times. But now its all too late. she would never love me again like she did day after day when she took care of me while I was in a drunken stupor. even when my ex girlfriend showed up she still loved me. she loved me even though I was selfish, stupid and jealous. she loved me even when my own friends and band mates told her I wasn't good for her. she even loved me when I abandoned her. Its like I was trying to make her not care about me this whole time without even knowing it. This time I wont try to win her back because I know she doesn't want me to.

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I woke up to the warmth of Brendon next to me realizing he must of fallen asleep in my bunk with me last night. The bus felt like it wasn't moving. I gently crawled out of the bunk careful to not wake Brendon. once I had managed to escape I looked around not seeing Dallon anywhere on the bus, I used this opportunity of privacy to take a shower and spruce myself up a bit. I felt kind of sad and somber for some reason today, kind of like something was missing but couldnt place my finger on it. once I was done in the super small bathroom I checked my phone and realized I had a text from pete, it said:

"come on over when your up and ready were all going to hang out on FOB bus if your up to it" I guess he thought I wouldnt be after yesterdays incident with Patrick but I didn't mind, it wouldn't hurt.

"hey, did you get the text from Pete too?" Brendon asked from behind me buttoning up his shirt.

"yeah, you going?" I asked.

"yeah, you?" he asked probably willing to change his answer if I said no.

"of course I am" I smiled

"then, shall we?" he asks giving a little smile.

when we got to the bus it seemed pretty boring. The guys were all sitting around in the kitchen and living room area talking, mostly about music from what I could pick up. once they saw me their faces lit up.

"heyy guys! its a bout time you two got here!" Joe said with a smile. I went and sat down next to Pete who was playing some video game with Andy. Brendon sat down with Joe and Dallon at the table which looked more like a restaurant booth they were all playing around with some acoustic guitars and one was passed to Brendon. Patrick was where to be seen. Even though it was kind of loud on the bus with the little pieces of songs being played and talking and Pete and Andy yelling at each other over the game I still felt really somber and out of it. I sat there looking out the window for a few moments until something caught my ear. It was a song without even thinking I started singing along quietly at first until brendon noticed and started to play the guitar a little louder and everyone got quiet, joe and pete even paused the game to observe. I sang a little louder

"Cue all the love to leave my heart, its time for me to fall apart" I sang I watched their faces, they didnt seem to be disgusted by my singing so I kept going and Brendon kept playing.

"now your gone but Ill be okay" just then Patrick came through the corridor from the back of the bus carrying another acoustic guitar and had Pete scoot over so he could sit next to me. and he non Chantilly sat next to me and began to sing with me.

"baby you were my Picket fence I miss missing you now and then" the song was in perfect harmony and as if we had rehearsed it before he sang when I didn't and visa-versa. It was a bit eerie that we were doing this and it felt very deep and sorrowful. no one talked the whole time and they just looked at each other probably confused. once the song was over I just resumed looking out the window again until Pete spoke up.

"can you guys do that again?"

"how did that even happen?" Brendon said be bewildered

"yeah, I didn't even know Em could sing" Joe said

"neither did I" Brendon replied

"did you guys practice that or something?" Dallon asked

"no." Patrick replied simply, strumming incoherent chords on the guitar without looking at any of them.

"so, can you guys do it again?" Pete asked again.

"doubt it." I said.

"yeah, I don't really want to" Patrick said

"then Em, do that with Bren" pete said.

"kay, different song?" I asked looking at pete"

"lets stick to fall out boy and do The Phoenix?" do you think you could do it by your self? I just want to hear you sing" Brendon said.

"I'll play it" Joe offered

"okay" I agreed. Joe began to play and I began to sing the words patrick nrmally does but in a different way. everyone was intrigued including Patrick this time. and andy began to drum on the table. once I finished the song pete spoke up

"that was amazing!I have a plan for you, more like an offer if your willing to take it." pete said with sly smile. what did you think of her?"

"she sang it better than me" he sort of mumbled under his breath.

"whats the offer?" I asked

"well I think you should do a song at one of our shows." Pete said.

"no, I don't have any singing experience, it would just be awkward Pete" I said shocked.

"shes right" Patrick mumbled again.

"I can have that taken care of, I do have a plan for all this you know. Its not likke im going to push you on to the stage tonight and just expect you to preform like Patrick or Brendon. you can be trained." pete said. trained?! is that what they all were? like dogs just putting on tricks for everyone?

"If your up for the challenge?" Pete dared. oh its on.

"I'll do It." I said casting him a play full dare.

"Pete, it took years for us be able to preform in huge audiences, you cant expect her to do and learn all that before tours over" Joe said.

"I don't think she can do it." Patrick said

"Bet I could." I said

"I bet I can have her on stage with us and ready before half the tours over." he gleamed at Patrick.

"In case you haven't noticed Pete, she likes to but heads about everything so tht might throw your plan back a little." Patrick said. to tell you the truth I didnt even care that he said that.

"she's never so called butted headswith me, Patrick. That's just you. It shouldn't be a problem" Pete laughed and Patrick shut up.

"I think It will be fun!" Andy said "I don't think it would e a problem for her to learn a song and sing it with Patrick, that's the plan, right?" Joe said.

"yup that's it. easy." Pete said.

"wait, wait, wait. with me? why cant she do her own thing?!" Patrick said.

"yeah, suck it up Patrick. you guys sound so good together It would be a crime not to pair you two up." Pete said "you still in Em?"

"still in" I replied.

"see shes okay with it."pete taunted

"fine, I'll do it" Patrick finally agreed.

"but this song is going to be a little special besides her singing, maybe a little acting" pete's sly smile came through again.

"from Em?" Andy asked confused

"mostly" pete replied.

"I cant act!" I shouted

"well its more like playing part while singing, you'll see later. we have to start on this during rehearsal tonight even though Em wont be doing it tonight." everyone was utterly confused just as I was.

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Brendon's P.O.V.

I watched from the bottom of the stage as Em did her act so to speak. the choreographer in charge was telling con on to the stage the first few runs em did it without singing and Patrick only singing his parts

"walk on stage Emily!" the choreographer yelled. Evidently Pete and Em and the guys had had a meeting with the choreographer and they worked out what was going on. I had no Idea what this artistic vision of Pete's would be. appeared on stage from the side and went to the movements she would be doing, it wasn't dancing though. It all was supposed to appear to the audience that the members of fall out boy were in love with her, which I think is quite cool. shes supposed to portray a siren type while singing. first she would go up to Joe and put her arms around him in a very sexy manner. then to Andy's drums and sort of sit on them. then to Pete who would almost kiss her before she walked away then she would prance over to Patrick and basically seduce him while they all preformed. It honestly looked easy, but while singing and getting the sexy movements down, it has to be hard. I think its a great Idea personally, but Patrick has to be tortured with this. it was all to the song Death Valley where Em sang much of the song.

"lets do this again with Emily singing. And lets make this believe able this time guys."

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I ran back behind the side of the stage and waited until the music started, and when it did I felt like a different person, the awkward me left and changed into some kind of animal. I walked sexy out on stage up to Joe and began to sing with or faces close and foreheads touching"I wanna see your animal side, let it all out. I want to see the dirt under your skin. I need your broken promises." and as Patrick began to sing I want the guts and glory baby baby.." by the time he got to the chorus I was supposed to be sitting in a sexy pose on Andy's drum bass to sing the chorus with Patrick, so I had to be quick but still sexy. after the chorus it was Patrick's turn to sing as I danced with Pete Patrick sang "..you can wear the crown but your no princess" which I would think he loved then Pete would almost kiss me but I would turn away and begin to sing " so put the D in dirt now baby, baby.." where I would walk to Patrick and pretend to seduce him as we sang the chorus then Patrick would sing to me "were gonna die its just a matter of time..." part as I walked slowly around him checking him out and I had to sing the I'll be your favorite drug part while looking each other deep in the eyes. none of it really bothered me, but I think it might of him even though he did his part too well to notice. once the song was over pete spoke up.

"I told you! this shouldn't take long! nice Em" Pete praised.

"Never been that close to Em, but I would do it again" Joe laughed

"I could of at least gotten a hug or something!" Andy joked.

"I'll remember that next time andy" I laughed. Patrick was silent among the praises as he got a drink from his water bottle.

"your learning quick, I don't think we'll have to do it again tonight the choreographer called.

I smiled as I jumped off the stage.

"come on guys lets head back to the dressing rooms guys" Brendon called. I followed brendon back to Panic!'s room. "so hey, you never answered me on what you thought about my Idea last night Em" brendon said as we maid our way down the halls of the venue.

"I don't know brendon, you just kind of dropped it on me out of no where. I need some time to think about it. were not even dating."

"I figured as much, no pressure, we don't have to be anything right now if you don't want." Brendon said taking some pressure out of the suggestion.

"thanks bren" I said with a smile.