Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Unexpected
chapter 7
The next night Stevie and Slash Had me holed up in Slash's room doing smack. I lost track of how many lines I did or how many times I smoked it They were doing their normal things, passing out or playing a Guitar. Typical night. I would rather be with Izzy. Last night he had been insatiable. He wasnt there after the show to drop me any hints. I assumed he was done with me for now. That6 how the guys did so you didnt get a wrong impression. Sweet, cordial' but then its 'ok you have to go now' If you passed in their room they got rid of you as fast as they could the next morning. So mine and Izzys paths crossed and we had sex. There were no strings attached. As a groupie you just hope one of them favors you over the rest. Ypure not their girlfriend. They usually have wives or girlfriends. You were thir beck and call girl. It was just the right moment for it to be Izzy that night. I could hear Slash's playing stop as he began to drift off too.
I dont think I was in any better shape. I couldnt move. I was nodding too. But I was soon awakened to the door flying open. In burst Izzy. A cigarette dangled from his lips, squinting at the smoke in his eye. A mostly polished off bottle of Jack was in his hand. His stance looked like he was quite drunk. But the blank look on his face told me a little heroin was mingling with it.
"So I wuznt as good as this huh?" He shout. Ok he was definately drunk. His soft spoken cool and calm voice was gone. He was obnoxious and loud.
I can only pull off a blank expression. Thats the best the smack will allow at this particular moment.
"I cant believe I actually came back for you!" He staggered in the doorway. "But you had already left with these fuckers! Do you know what a fuckin idiot I felt like asking around for some groupie? Then you leave with them! I thought after last night..." He paused, " I wanted to see you Lanessa...Thats not me...I never act like this about chicks..."
I was barely comprehending him.
" You fucking blew mind last night. I woke up smiling at you next to me...that shit just dont happen. So I go shower and was gonna surprise you and blow my photo shoot and take you out to breakfast...but every trace of you ever being there is gone. You just fuckin left...no goodbye...no note..."
In still only capable of a blank smacked out stare from Tiny parted slits in my eyes.
"Why'd you just leave like that?"
I muster all my energy to get the words out. "I thought youd want me to...thats how it usually goes with the guys," I say slowly.
Izzy polished off the bottle and replies, "Im not the guys."
I didnt know what to think or say.
"I wont keep you...have a nice night...hope I dopnt end up having to save your life again." He staggers and turns to leave.
"Iz..." I manage to say.
"No youre right...this is how it works...I the idiot that felt something."
Did I hear him right Was he saying he had feelings for me or something?
"Iz..."
"Spare me...I see how it works for you...see ya round some time." He sways out of the room further.
"Izzy wait," I call out.
"No Lanessa...we had our night...Im the one who thought it was something else. Its cool you didnt do shit wrong. Im the one who forgot the rules...none of this shit is real life."
"Izzy...last night you were great...probably the best ive ever had..."
"I had a reason to try. I wanted to give a good impression so maybe you woud come back...but you end up here...Theyre getting you hooked on that shit and you dont even see it...I had smack too..." He shook his head. "I wanted you to want me...for more than smack...for more than Izzy Stradlin...guess I chose the wrong girl."
"But Izzy..."
"See ya Lanessa," He said leaving and shutting the door.
I couldnt even get up to go after him. I should have been dealing with a tidal wave of emotions but I felt very little at all. Nothing truly registered. I wasnt even really sure what had just happened. I couldnt hold my eyes open any longer. I let them shut and faded out in my smacked out state.
The next night Stevie and Slash Had me holed up in Slash's room doing smack. I lost track of how many lines I did or how many times I smoked it They were doing their normal things, passing out or playing a Guitar. Typical night. I would rather be with Izzy. Last night he had been insatiable. He wasnt there after the show to drop me any hints. I assumed he was done with me for now. That6 how the guys did so you didnt get a wrong impression. Sweet, cordial' but then its 'ok you have to go now' If you passed in their room they got rid of you as fast as they could the next morning. So mine and Izzys paths crossed and we had sex. There were no strings attached. As a groupie you just hope one of them favors you over the rest. Ypure not their girlfriend. They usually have wives or girlfriends. You were thir beck and call girl. It was just the right moment for it to be Izzy that night. I could hear Slash's playing stop as he began to drift off too.
I dont think I was in any better shape. I couldnt move. I was nodding too. But I was soon awakened to the door flying open. In burst Izzy. A cigarette dangled from his lips, squinting at the smoke in his eye. A mostly polished off bottle of Jack was in his hand. His stance looked like he was quite drunk. But the blank look on his face told me a little heroin was mingling with it.
"So I wuznt as good as this huh?" He shout. Ok he was definately drunk. His soft spoken cool and calm voice was gone. He was obnoxious and loud.
I can only pull off a blank expression. Thats the best the smack will allow at this particular moment.
"I cant believe I actually came back for you!" He staggered in the doorway. "But you had already left with these fuckers! Do you know what a fuckin idiot I felt like asking around for some groupie? Then you leave with them! I thought after last night..." He paused, " I wanted to see you Lanessa...Thats not me...I never act like this about chicks..."
I was barely comprehending him.
" You fucking blew mind last night. I woke up smiling at you next to me...that shit just dont happen. So I go shower and was gonna surprise you and blow my photo shoot and take you out to breakfast...but every trace of you ever being there is gone. You just fuckin left...no goodbye...no note..."
In still only capable of a blank smacked out stare from Tiny parted slits in my eyes.
"Why'd you just leave like that?"
I muster all my energy to get the words out. "I thought youd want me to...thats how it usually goes with the guys," I say slowly.
Izzy polished off the bottle and replies, "Im not the guys."
I didnt know what to think or say.
"I wont keep you...have a nice night...hope I dopnt end up having to save your life again." He staggers and turns to leave.
"Iz..." I manage to say.
"No youre right...this is how it works...I the idiot that felt something."
Did I hear him right Was he saying he had feelings for me or something?
"Iz..."
"Spare me...I see how it works for you...see ya round some time." He sways out of the room further.
"Izzy wait," I call out.
"No Lanessa...we had our night...Im the one who thought it was something else. Its cool you didnt do shit wrong. Im the one who forgot the rules...none of this shit is real life."
"Izzy...last night you were great...probably the best ive ever had..."
"I had a reason to try. I wanted to give a good impression so maybe you woud come back...but you end up here...Theyre getting you hooked on that shit and you dont even see it...I had smack too..." He shook his head. "I wanted you to want me...for more than smack...for more than Izzy Stradlin...guess I chose the wrong girl."
"But Izzy..."
"See ya Lanessa," He said leaving and shutting the door.
I couldnt even get up to go after him. I should have been dealing with a tidal wave of emotions but I felt very little at all. Nothing truly registered. I wasnt even really sure what had just happened. I couldnt hold my eyes open any longer. I let them shut and faded out in my smacked out state.
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