Categories > Original > Romance > Teacher, Teacher
November 16: Dear Diary, I know I haven’t updated you since a few weeks after Dad died, so I figured it was time to tell you how everything is going here in Florida. I’ve been here in Tallahassee for a few months now and things are going really well. Devin and Brad officially welcomed me into their inner circle and I’ve been sitting with them at lunch since my first day at Maclay. They’re really nice people. Courtney and I are basically mortal enemies and all I did to deserve it was sit in the wrong seat in math. That girl is completely unreasonable. Mr. Fields is… I don’t know exactly, but I feel like there’s something there between us. Is it crazy to think that my teacher has a thing for me? I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too much into this whole thing. Dev said that he’s a naturally happy and welcoming guy, but his eyes tell me that he sees something in me. I must be going crazy. Oh! I found a new Studio to go to and it isn’t too far away from home. Wow, I just called this house my home. That’s a huge step. Anyway, the other girls and boys are pretty nice. They aren’t completely stuck up and competitive like the people in the studio back in CA. And the parents of the dancers are really nice too! They trade off bringing snacks for us to eat during breaks between classes. Mom even made a new friend because of it. It’s nice to see her opening up to people again. We’re all talking again too. Yesterday we actually sat down and ate breakfast together as a family before school like we used to. Tash and I are actually getting along and she’s welcoming my tutoring again. It seems like things are becoming a new normal. I’m smiling more now, too, in case you hadn’t guessed that by now. Anyways, it’s time to start getting ready for school. The forecast says it’s going to rain late this afternoon so I need to prepare my dance bag for the occasion. I promise I’ll update you more, now. TTFN, Clo.
Clover closed her diary and placed it back under a wooden floorboard. It was loose when she moved in so she pried it open and decided it was a good place to hide her diary. Turns out the size of her diary actually stopped the floorboard from creaking and shrieking when she stepped on it, so it turned into a quick win-win situation. After replacing the board she ran to her closet to pick out the perfect rain outfit. Though it was November, the weather in Florida was very different from the weather in Sacramento. Yes, it was going to rain but it was still going to be at least 70 degrees outside since the state was so close to the equator. It reminded her of the summer rain that Sacramento rarely got and she cherished whenever it occurred. So, Clover picked out her favorite pair of transparent baby blue rain boots first then decided on the clothes to match: a baby blue and white baseball tee and black knee-length leggings. She then proceeded with her morning ritual and finished by pulling her hair in a tight, high ponytail and left her bangs to swoop over her right eye. The only makeup that day, she decided, was her mascara, light blush, and cherry red lip gloss.
When she packed her dance bag she took into account that it should be fully raining before she arrived and she would have to change at school before leaving for the studio to avoid getting her dance clothes wet. She placed her pointe shoes and her contemporary footies at the bottom of her bag since those were her classes that day then placed her pink and gray sports bra and black spandex shorts on top for her contemporary class. Next, she placed a mid-length white, free flowing dress with lace bodice and trim as the next layer for the ballet class (they were learning swan lake and she had to bring a white dress to audition for the lead). Finally, she stuffed a long, thick, black raincoat and an umbrella on top to cover her dress when she had to run from the car to the studio doors. She zipped the bag shut, threw it over her left shoulder and draped her book bag over the right one before heading downstairs for breakfast with her family.
The rest of the day continued normally... at least at first it did. She met Devin and Brad under the biggest tree in the quad and talked until the warning bell before heading to their lockers and then to homeroom where she had to restrain from constantly staring at Mr. Fields while Courtney shot daggers into her back. She sang soprano 2 in choir and then drudged off to world history where she had to fight to stay awake. She then met back up with the boys at the lockers before heading to lunch where they sat far enough away from the Maclay Pops (the popular crowd) that they wouldn’t overhear their constant slander or pick up on the fact that they made up mock conversations between the Pops, each member of the group speaking for their designated Pop whenever he or she opened their mouths. After lunch she avoided Courtney in math as much as possible, she adored Italian and soaked in as much vocabulary and culture as she possibly could, and then rounded out her day with P.E. followed by an after school/pre-studio snack with the boys at the lockers.
Physical Education is where the normal day turned a bit abnormal. The class started out running outside like they usually did on Tuesdays, but when the storm clouds started rolling in they were sent to the locker rooms and class was dismissed very early. Not just their class, either. The entire student body was sent home due to a massive storm watch and possible flooding. In the locker room Clover changed into her white dress for ballet and slipped her rain boots and raincoat on as well, preparing for it to be raining already when she exited the school. The only problem now was that her mother shouldn’t be coming to pick her up for another half hour and her sister was already on the emergency bus headed back home (which Clover missed when she was changing in the locker room). She stood just inside the doors of the school and searched her school bag for her cell phone, panicking when it wasn’t there. Immediately she searched her dance bag thinking she may have dropped it in there that morning by accident; no such luck. Now she had no way of contacting her mother to come pick her up sooner and was stranded at the school. By now she was sure all of the teachers were gone as well and sighed rather loudly as she leaned against the wall in defeat.
“Clover, why are you still here? Everyone was supposed to go home.” The sound of Mr. Fields’ voice startled her and she jumped before turning to face him.
“I missed the emergency bus because I was changing in the locker room and I left my phone at home so I can’t call my mom to have her come pick me up now.” Clover suddenly looked physically distraught. “If she comes to pick me up in a half hour like she’s supposed to, the storm could be horrible and something really bad could happen to her! I need to call her and tell her not to come!” Immediately she started panicking with no way of reaching her mom.
“You can use the phone in my classroom if you want. I would offer you my cell but reception is out. The only way to communicate in a storm is by landline.”
Clover nodded and followed Mr. Fields hastily back to his classroom. He motioned to the phone on his desk and she briskly walked towards it, snatching it up in her hand and rapidly dialing her mother’s number at the same time. As the phone began to ring she looked out of the windows and saw that it was already pouring rain outside. It was so bad she could barely see the flagpole that stood not more than 100 feet from the window. Her mom definitely could never drive in these conditions. She began pacing while the phone rang waiting impatiently for her mother to answer their house phone. Soon after, Rose picked up the phone and was audibly glad to hear Clover’s voice on the other end of the line. Mr. Fields tried not to listen in on the conversation but the room was so quiet he couldn’t help but overhear Clover’s voice.
“Yea, mom, I’m ok… No, don’t come get me right now… There’s still a few teachers here, I can stay with one of them until the storm clears… I’m positive… Is Tash home yet?... Good I would hate for something to happen to her… I know, I couldn’t bear to lose her too… I’m sure classes are cancelled for tonight with the weather the way it is… You used to hate it because I would always get sick afterward… Yea, he loved that dance. I miss him, a lot, especially with weather like this… One day, but hopefully no time soon… I’ll see you when the storm clears… I love you too, mom. Be safe… Bye.”
Clover hung up the phone and tried subtly to wipe a stray tear from her left cheek. Unfortunately, Mr. Fields saw the small movement and moved towards her in worry.
“Is everything ok?” he asked.
“Yea, everything is fine,” Clover squeezed out between slow tears.
“Are YOU ok?” he inquired, noticing the small hitch in her voice and the sniffle she tried so hard to hide.
“I’ll be fine.” Before she could wipe away any more tears, Mr. Fields stood before her gazing worriedly into her teary eyes. Instinctively he reached out and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, his palms pressed to her cheeks and his fingers lingering on her neck. How badly he wished he could kiss her tears away, but he knew how inappropriate it would be. It broke his heart to see Clover cry, to know that something was causing the angelic girl so much pain.
“I’m sure you will be ok, eventually, because you’re a very strong, young woman; but that wasn’t my question. What’s eating away at the smiley girl I’m used to seeing?”
Clover looked down at her feet as more tears fell from her eyes. She took some time to decide whether or not she was ready to tell anyone about that day, and decided that if she were going to tell anyone it would be Mr. Fields; and what better time to tell him when they’re stranded alone in an empty school. Clover sat down on the floor against the wall beneath the window and took a deep breath before recounting the worst day of her life aloud for the first time.
“Over Spring Break this past March my family decided to take a road trip down to San Diego to experience a warm beach for once. Everything was going perfectly when we left the house. For the first time in months my little sister, Tashleigh, and I were actually getting along and were playing road games in the car to pass the time. After a couple of hours of being on the freeway in the carpool lane we noticed the large truck that had been next to us for nearly an hour and a half began swerving all over the road. My dad was driving, and he decided to speed up a bit to try and pass the truck in case he lost control and came into our lane. Just as he sped up, the truck drifted into our lane and pinned our car against the railing, dragging us along as it continued down the freeway. After a few long seconds, the truck found its way back in its lane and my mother realized that the driver had fallen asleep and looked as though he was about to again. Instead of speeding up this time, my dad slowed the car down a bit in hopes that he was far enough behind the truck that nothing would happen…”
Clover paused as tears starting rushing down her face uncontrollably and her breathing became rigged and erratic. Mr. Fields grabbed her hands in his hoping it would calm her down a little bit as she replayed the nightmare over again in her mind. She gathered herself enough to continue recalling what happened through very shaky speech.
“I remember Tash and I were in the back seat holding hands, just hoping that nothing was going to happen and that everything would be ok. And just as we looked into each other’s eyes, the truck swerved into our lane again and slammed head-on into the railing in front of us. Our dad couldn’t stop in time and slammed head-on into the driver’s side door of the truck and the car behind us rammed into the rear bumper of our car, pushing us further into the door. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital with a huge gash over my right eye and Tashleigh in the bed next to me with scrapes and bruises everywhere. When the nurse came in, I asked her where our parents were and she told me our mom was in ICU recovering from surgery. She had internal bleeding but they stopped it and she was going to be fine. When I asked about my dad she just shook her head and left the room. Hours later, Tash and I were allowed to see our mom and when we entered the room she didn’t look very good. She had gashes all over her body but no broken bones, and she was sobbing uncontrollably. We asked her were Dad was and she cried even harder. Finally she choked out that he didn’t make it. The doctors said he died on impact and there was no way of reviving him.”
Clover couldn’t continue, her sobbing had gotten the best of her and she pulled her knees up to her chest and wept on the floor. Suddenly it all made sense to Alexander. He understood why, on her first day, she said recent events forced them to move across the country. He understood why, when he passed her in the halls between classes, she was constantly frowning and staring at her shoes as she walked. He understood why, even though she was smiling, her eyes were always sad. Everything just seemed to click. He sat next to her on the floor beneath the window and draped his left arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to his chest and letting her cry there. Instinctively, Clover wrapped her arms around his middle and pulled herself as close to him as possible, letting the contact comfort her as it could. Suddenly, it didn’t matter to Alexander that the proximity may have been inappropriate; he knew that she needed the comfort and the support and he was happy he got to be the one to provide it for her.
They sat like that for a while, and in time Clover’s sobbing turned into slow, soft, silent tears. Alexander was the first to break the silence.
“You can’t let that accident be the last memory you have of your father,” he said as he looked down at the young girl draped across his chest.
Clover pulled away a little and looked up at him in confusion. “What do you mean? It’s the very last memory I have of him. How could it not be?”
Mr. Fields slightly smiled down at her. “You have to replace it with a better memory, something that, when you think of it, will make you smile instead of cry. You need to push the accident out of your mind with a memory strong enough to force it away. It worked for me when my grandmother died when I was little.”
“What kind of memory would be strong enough?” Clover inquired as she wiped a few tears off of her cheeks.
“Any strong, happy memory would do.” Alexander thought for a moment before remembering what Clover said to her mother on the phone. “On the phone with your mom you said she hated something because it made you sick, but your dad loved it. What were you talking about?”
Clover chuckled a little before replying. “When it used to rain like this back home in Fair Oaks, I would put on this white dress and my ballet shoes and run outside underneath the streetlamp in front of our house. I’d close my eyes and pretend I was the white swan in Swan Lake and do this dance that I made up. Year after year the dance got more complex and beautiful. Every time it rained my father would sit in the window in our front room and watch me dance outside under the light. When I was finished I’d return inside and he’d hug me and tell me how beautiful it was, how proud he was that I created such a complex choreography, and how far he was sure I would go as a professional ballerina.” Clover chuckled again before continuing, a wide smile playing across her lips. “My mom would get so mad and yell at him for encouraging me as she wrapped me in a towel and forced me to drink hot tea. Sure enough, within the next couple of days I would be sick with the flu and she would blame my father for letting me dance in the cold rain.” Slowly, Clover’s smile faded into a sad frown. “I miss those days.”
Mr. Fields placed a finger under Clover’s chin to lift her head and bring her eyes back up to meet his. “I don’t know if you felt what I saw, but you were smiling and laughing during that whole memory. I’d say that’s a strong enough one to replace the accident.”
Clover smiled. “You’re right. It is.” She paused for a moment whilst remembering she was wearing the dress she wore on those fun, fateful rainy days and stood promptly. “I still remember the dance, and I have everything I need to do it right now… if you want to see it?” She shyly asked him. He nodded and she turned and ran to her dance bag and fished out her pointe shoes from the bottom and replaced the boots that were on her feet with the ballet shoes she just grabbed. She then stood and removed the raincoat, revealing the white dress beneath.
Alexander’s breath caught in his throat when Clover turned to face him. Her dress was absolutely stunning and fit her perfectly. It hugged her curves in all the right places and fanned elegantly around her knees. She let her hair down and her soft curls framed her face. For a brief moment, she pushed her bangs behind her right ear, revealing the small scar where her head came in contact with the window of the car. And as soon as it appeared, her bangs fell back into place along her eye and cheek and the scar was hidden once more. Alex stood and helped Clover push the desks out of her way to give her enough room to dance then stood back by the window and watched as she closed her eyes and imagined herself underneath that streetlamp in front of her old house. Within seconds, she was floating across the floor like an angel with her wings spread wide. She fully embraced the role of the white swan and looked flawless as she jumped and leaped around the room, a smile never leaving her lips, and her eyes constantly closed. Mr. Fields smiled brightly as he watched her, his heart skipping beats every time she executed a beautiful jump or extension, his skin crawling with goosebumps at how perfect she looked. He could tell she was completely in her element, and he was thrilled she shared something so beautiful with him.
Without realizing, he slowly moved closer and closer to her, but remained a safe distance away as to not mess her up. By the time she finished her dance, he was standing at the edge of his desk, speechless and in awe of what he had just witnessed. The only words he managed to choke out were a measly “that was beautiful” and that didn’t do her justice. It was more than beautiful, but words couldn’t describe what he had just seen.
Clover blushed a bit when she realized he hadn’t taken his eyes off of her, even after she finished the dance. They were glued to hers, unwavering and bearing deep into her soul, lighting her heart on fire. She went to take a step toward him and tripped on a loose tie from her pointe shoe. He lurched forward and caught her in his arms before she got the chance to fall and possibly hit her face on his desk. She stared up at him into his eyes as he helped her up to her feet and steadied her. Their eyes never left the others’, each person fully intent on staying in that moment for as long as possible.
Alexander made the first move and took a small step toward Clover, shortening the distance between them. Clover continued to look up into his eyes as he took another small step toward her. She couldn’t take the agony any longer and took the final step toward him, only enough space remained to slide a piece of paper between them. Each of their breathing became heavy with anticipation, awaiting the moment that one or the other would close the gap between them. Alex moved one of his hands from her elbow up to her cheek and left the other to softly rest on her arm. Clover then placed one hand on his chest, at first to push him away, but only to float up to his shoulder. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, awaiting what she knew was to come. The moment his lips brushed against hers, the whole world went blank, her blood began burning and her skin set on fire. It was no different for Alex, either. When he finally closed the gap between them, the only thing he felt was the skin of her cheek and arm under his hands and the heat radiating between them. It felt like electricity was being transferred from one body to the other by the touch of their lips and he never wanted those fleeting seconds to end.
All too soon, the familiar sound of a ringing phone caused the two to jump apart. Quickly, Alex rushed to the phone on his desk and answered it. Upon hearing Clover’s mother’s voice on the other end he handed her the phone and retreated to the back of the room. Soon after, Clover hung up.
“My mom is down in the parking lot waiting for me…” she stammered. She didn’t want to leave, but she knew she had to. Mr. Fields just nodded and watched her as she grabbed her things and walked out of his classroom door.
Seconds later Alexander rushed out of the door as well and called for her down the hallway.
“Clover!” She stopped and turned to face her teacher. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… it was inappropriate and completely out of hand.”
Clover dropped her things in the hallway and quickly walked back to him. “Don’t be sorry, Mr. Fields,” she said before placing a quick kiss on his cheek. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
She began to walk away again when Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him then placed a quick, gentle kiss on her forehead. “I promise to keep this between us.” They both smiled and Clover started to leave again when he interrupted her once more. “I like you, Clover, a lot. And I don’t want this to be a onetime thing.”
Clover backed away from him smiling and turned to leave for the last time. As she grabbed her bags off the floor, she turned back to her teacher. “It won’t be.” She then turned back toward the door and walked out of it, a huge smile dancing across her lips. She wasn’t crazy, and she wasn’t reading too much into anything. Mr. Fields really did have feelings for her and she had feelings for him. Clover knew this was only the beginning; life was only going to get more complicated and exciting from here. But for now, she was going to focus on the present. She had to get home and start working on the English essay Mr. Fields assigned last Monday, considering it was due in 3 days on Friday. He may have feelings for her, but he was still her teacher and he wouldn’t hesitate to fail her for missing assignments. During the car ride home with Rose, all Clover could think was: What is Devin gonna say about this? She knew she wasn’t supposed to tell, but she also knew he could keep a secret no matter how juicy it was.
Clover closed her diary and placed it back under a wooden floorboard. It was loose when she moved in so she pried it open and decided it was a good place to hide her diary. Turns out the size of her diary actually stopped the floorboard from creaking and shrieking when she stepped on it, so it turned into a quick win-win situation. After replacing the board she ran to her closet to pick out the perfect rain outfit. Though it was November, the weather in Florida was very different from the weather in Sacramento. Yes, it was going to rain but it was still going to be at least 70 degrees outside since the state was so close to the equator. It reminded her of the summer rain that Sacramento rarely got and she cherished whenever it occurred. So, Clover picked out her favorite pair of transparent baby blue rain boots first then decided on the clothes to match: a baby blue and white baseball tee and black knee-length leggings. She then proceeded with her morning ritual and finished by pulling her hair in a tight, high ponytail and left her bangs to swoop over her right eye. The only makeup that day, she decided, was her mascara, light blush, and cherry red lip gloss.
When she packed her dance bag she took into account that it should be fully raining before she arrived and she would have to change at school before leaving for the studio to avoid getting her dance clothes wet. She placed her pointe shoes and her contemporary footies at the bottom of her bag since those were her classes that day then placed her pink and gray sports bra and black spandex shorts on top for her contemporary class. Next, she placed a mid-length white, free flowing dress with lace bodice and trim as the next layer for the ballet class (they were learning swan lake and she had to bring a white dress to audition for the lead). Finally, she stuffed a long, thick, black raincoat and an umbrella on top to cover her dress when she had to run from the car to the studio doors. She zipped the bag shut, threw it over her left shoulder and draped her book bag over the right one before heading downstairs for breakfast with her family.
The rest of the day continued normally... at least at first it did. She met Devin and Brad under the biggest tree in the quad and talked until the warning bell before heading to their lockers and then to homeroom where she had to restrain from constantly staring at Mr. Fields while Courtney shot daggers into her back. She sang soprano 2 in choir and then drudged off to world history where she had to fight to stay awake. She then met back up with the boys at the lockers before heading to lunch where they sat far enough away from the Maclay Pops (the popular crowd) that they wouldn’t overhear their constant slander or pick up on the fact that they made up mock conversations between the Pops, each member of the group speaking for their designated Pop whenever he or she opened their mouths. After lunch she avoided Courtney in math as much as possible, she adored Italian and soaked in as much vocabulary and culture as she possibly could, and then rounded out her day with P.E. followed by an after school/pre-studio snack with the boys at the lockers.
Physical Education is where the normal day turned a bit abnormal. The class started out running outside like they usually did on Tuesdays, but when the storm clouds started rolling in they were sent to the locker rooms and class was dismissed very early. Not just their class, either. The entire student body was sent home due to a massive storm watch and possible flooding. In the locker room Clover changed into her white dress for ballet and slipped her rain boots and raincoat on as well, preparing for it to be raining already when she exited the school. The only problem now was that her mother shouldn’t be coming to pick her up for another half hour and her sister was already on the emergency bus headed back home (which Clover missed when she was changing in the locker room). She stood just inside the doors of the school and searched her school bag for her cell phone, panicking when it wasn’t there. Immediately she searched her dance bag thinking she may have dropped it in there that morning by accident; no such luck. Now she had no way of contacting her mother to come pick her up sooner and was stranded at the school. By now she was sure all of the teachers were gone as well and sighed rather loudly as she leaned against the wall in defeat.
“Clover, why are you still here? Everyone was supposed to go home.” The sound of Mr. Fields’ voice startled her and she jumped before turning to face him.
“I missed the emergency bus because I was changing in the locker room and I left my phone at home so I can’t call my mom to have her come pick me up now.” Clover suddenly looked physically distraught. “If she comes to pick me up in a half hour like she’s supposed to, the storm could be horrible and something really bad could happen to her! I need to call her and tell her not to come!” Immediately she started panicking with no way of reaching her mom.
“You can use the phone in my classroom if you want. I would offer you my cell but reception is out. The only way to communicate in a storm is by landline.”
Clover nodded and followed Mr. Fields hastily back to his classroom. He motioned to the phone on his desk and she briskly walked towards it, snatching it up in her hand and rapidly dialing her mother’s number at the same time. As the phone began to ring she looked out of the windows and saw that it was already pouring rain outside. It was so bad she could barely see the flagpole that stood not more than 100 feet from the window. Her mom definitely could never drive in these conditions. She began pacing while the phone rang waiting impatiently for her mother to answer their house phone. Soon after, Rose picked up the phone and was audibly glad to hear Clover’s voice on the other end of the line. Mr. Fields tried not to listen in on the conversation but the room was so quiet he couldn’t help but overhear Clover’s voice.
“Yea, mom, I’m ok… No, don’t come get me right now… There’s still a few teachers here, I can stay with one of them until the storm clears… I’m positive… Is Tash home yet?... Good I would hate for something to happen to her… I know, I couldn’t bear to lose her too… I’m sure classes are cancelled for tonight with the weather the way it is… You used to hate it because I would always get sick afterward… Yea, he loved that dance. I miss him, a lot, especially with weather like this… One day, but hopefully no time soon… I’ll see you when the storm clears… I love you too, mom. Be safe… Bye.”
Clover hung up the phone and tried subtly to wipe a stray tear from her left cheek. Unfortunately, Mr. Fields saw the small movement and moved towards her in worry.
“Is everything ok?” he asked.
“Yea, everything is fine,” Clover squeezed out between slow tears.
“Are YOU ok?” he inquired, noticing the small hitch in her voice and the sniffle she tried so hard to hide.
“I’ll be fine.” Before she could wipe away any more tears, Mr. Fields stood before her gazing worriedly into her teary eyes. Instinctively he reached out and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, his palms pressed to her cheeks and his fingers lingering on her neck. How badly he wished he could kiss her tears away, but he knew how inappropriate it would be. It broke his heart to see Clover cry, to know that something was causing the angelic girl so much pain.
“I’m sure you will be ok, eventually, because you’re a very strong, young woman; but that wasn’t my question. What’s eating away at the smiley girl I’m used to seeing?”
Clover looked down at her feet as more tears fell from her eyes. She took some time to decide whether or not she was ready to tell anyone about that day, and decided that if she were going to tell anyone it would be Mr. Fields; and what better time to tell him when they’re stranded alone in an empty school. Clover sat down on the floor against the wall beneath the window and took a deep breath before recounting the worst day of her life aloud for the first time.
“Over Spring Break this past March my family decided to take a road trip down to San Diego to experience a warm beach for once. Everything was going perfectly when we left the house. For the first time in months my little sister, Tashleigh, and I were actually getting along and were playing road games in the car to pass the time. After a couple of hours of being on the freeway in the carpool lane we noticed the large truck that had been next to us for nearly an hour and a half began swerving all over the road. My dad was driving, and he decided to speed up a bit to try and pass the truck in case he lost control and came into our lane. Just as he sped up, the truck drifted into our lane and pinned our car against the railing, dragging us along as it continued down the freeway. After a few long seconds, the truck found its way back in its lane and my mother realized that the driver had fallen asleep and looked as though he was about to again. Instead of speeding up this time, my dad slowed the car down a bit in hopes that he was far enough behind the truck that nothing would happen…”
Clover paused as tears starting rushing down her face uncontrollably and her breathing became rigged and erratic. Mr. Fields grabbed her hands in his hoping it would calm her down a little bit as she replayed the nightmare over again in her mind. She gathered herself enough to continue recalling what happened through very shaky speech.
“I remember Tash and I were in the back seat holding hands, just hoping that nothing was going to happen and that everything would be ok. And just as we looked into each other’s eyes, the truck swerved into our lane again and slammed head-on into the railing in front of us. Our dad couldn’t stop in time and slammed head-on into the driver’s side door of the truck and the car behind us rammed into the rear bumper of our car, pushing us further into the door. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital with a huge gash over my right eye and Tashleigh in the bed next to me with scrapes and bruises everywhere. When the nurse came in, I asked her where our parents were and she told me our mom was in ICU recovering from surgery. She had internal bleeding but they stopped it and she was going to be fine. When I asked about my dad she just shook her head and left the room. Hours later, Tash and I were allowed to see our mom and when we entered the room she didn’t look very good. She had gashes all over her body but no broken bones, and she was sobbing uncontrollably. We asked her were Dad was and she cried even harder. Finally she choked out that he didn’t make it. The doctors said he died on impact and there was no way of reviving him.”
Clover couldn’t continue, her sobbing had gotten the best of her and she pulled her knees up to her chest and wept on the floor. Suddenly it all made sense to Alexander. He understood why, on her first day, she said recent events forced them to move across the country. He understood why, when he passed her in the halls between classes, she was constantly frowning and staring at her shoes as she walked. He understood why, even though she was smiling, her eyes were always sad. Everything just seemed to click. He sat next to her on the floor beneath the window and draped his left arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to his chest and letting her cry there. Instinctively, Clover wrapped her arms around his middle and pulled herself as close to him as possible, letting the contact comfort her as it could. Suddenly, it didn’t matter to Alexander that the proximity may have been inappropriate; he knew that she needed the comfort and the support and he was happy he got to be the one to provide it for her.
They sat like that for a while, and in time Clover’s sobbing turned into slow, soft, silent tears. Alexander was the first to break the silence.
“You can’t let that accident be the last memory you have of your father,” he said as he looked down at the young girl draped across his chest.
Clover pulled away a little and looked up at him in confusion. “What do you mean? It’s the very last memory I have of him. How could it not be?”
Mr. Fields slightly smiled down at her. “You have to replace it with a better memory, something that, when you think of it, will make you smile instead of cry. You need to push the accident out of your mind with a memory strong enough to force it away. It worked for me when my grandmother died when I was little.”
“What kind of memory would be strong enough?” Clover inquired as she wiped a few tears off of her cheeks.
“Any strong, happy memory would do.” Alexander thought for a moment before remembering what Clover said to her mother on the phone. “On the phone with your mom you said she hated something because it made you sick, but your dad loved it. What were you talking about?”
Clover chuckled a little before replying. “When it used to rain like this back home in Fair Oaks, I would put on this white dress and my ballet shoes and run outside underneath the streetlamp in front of our house. I’d close my eyes and pretend I was the white swan in Swan Lake and do this dance that I made up. Year after year the dance got more complex and beautiful. Every time it rained my father would sit in the window in our front room and watch me dance outside under the light. When I was finished I’d return inside and he’d hug me and tell me how beautiful it was, how proud he was that I created such a complex choreography, and how far he was sure I would go as a professional ballerina.” Clover chuckled again before continuing, a wide smile playing across her lips. “My mom would get so mad and yell at him for encouraging me as she wrapped me in a towel and forced me to drink hot tea. Sure enough, within the next couple of days I would be sick with the flu and she would blame my father for letting me dance in the cold rain.” Slowly, Clover’s smile faded into a sad frown. “I miss those days.”
Mr. Fields placed a finger under Clover’s chin to lift her head and bring her eyes back up to meet his. “I don’t know if you felt what I saw, but you were smiling and laughing during that whole memory. I’d say that’s a strong enough one to replace the accident.”
Clover smiled. “You’re right. It is.” She paused for a moment whilst remembering she was wearing the dress she wore on those fun, fateful rainy days and stood promptly. “I still remember the dance, and I have everything I need to do it right now… if you want to see it?” She shyly asked him. He nodded and she turned and ran to her dance bag and fished out her pointe shoes from the bottom and replaced the boots that were on her feet with the ballet shoes she just grabbed. She then stood and removed the raincoat, revealing the white dress beneath.
Alexander’s breath caught in his throat when Clover turned to face him. Her dress was absolutely stunning and fit her perfectly. It hugged her curves in all the right places and fanned elegantly around her knees. She let her hair down and her soft curls framed her face. For a brief moment, she pushed her bangs behind her right ear, revealing the small scar where her head came in contact with the window of the car. And as soon as it appeared, her bangs fell back into place along her eye and cheek and the scar was hidden once more. Alex stood and helped Clover push the desks out of her way to give her enough room to dance then stood back by the window and watched as she closed her eyes and imagined herself underneath that streetlamp in front of her old house. Within seconds, she was floating across the floor like an angel with her wings spread wide. She fully embraced the role of the white swan and looked flawless as she jumped and leaped around the room, a smile never leaving her lips, and her eyes constantly closed. Mr. Fields smiled brightly as he watched her, his heart skipping beats every time she executed a beautiful jump or extension, his skin crawling with goosebumps at how perfect she looked. He could tell she was completely in her element, and he was thrilled she shared something so beautiful with him.
Without realizing, he slowly moved closer and closer to her, but remained a safe distance away as to not mess her up. By the time she finished her dance, he was standing at the edge of his desk, speechless and in awe of what he had just witnessed. The only words he managed to choke out were a measly “that was beautiful” and that didn’t do her justice. It was more than beautiful, but words couldn’t describe what he had just seen.
Clover blushed a bit when she realized he hadn’t taken his eyes off of her, even after she finished the dance. They were glued to hers, unwavering and bearing deep into her soul, lighting her heart on fire. She went to take a step toward him and tripped on a loose tie from her pointe shoe. He lurched forward and caught her in his arms before she got the chance to fall and possibly hit her face on his desk. She stared up at him into his eyes as he helped her up to her feet and steadied her. Their eyes never left the others’, each person fully intent on staying in that moment for as long as possible.
Alexander made the first move and took a small step toward Clover, shortening the distance between them. Clover continued to look up into his eyes as he took another small step toward her. She couldn’t take the agony any longer and took the final step toward him, only enough space remained to slide a piece of paper between them. Each of their breathing became heavy with anticipation, awaiting the moment that one or the other would close the gap between them. Alex moved one of his hands from her elbow up to her cheek and left the other to softly rest on her arm. Clover then placed one hand on his chest, at first to push him away, but only to float up to his shoulder. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, awaiting what she knew was to come. The moment his lips brushed against hers, the whole world went blank, her blood began burning and her skin set on fire. It was no different for Alex, either. When he finally closed the gap between them, the only thing he felt was the skin of her cheek and arm under his hands and the heat radiating between them. It felt like electricity was being transferred from one body to the other by the touch of their lips and he never wanted those fleeting seconds to end.
All too soon, the familiar sound of a ringing phone caused the two to jump apart. Quickly, Alex rushed to the phone on his desk and answered it. Upon hearing Clover’s mother’s voice on the other end he handed her the phone and retreated to the back of the room. Soon after, Clover hung up.
“My mom is down in the parking lot waiting for me…” she stammered. She didn’t want to leave, but she knew she had to. Mr. Fields just nodded and watched her as she grabbed her things and walked out of his classroom door.
Seconds later Alexander rushed out of the door as well and called for her down the hallway.
“Clover!” She stopped and turned to face her teacher. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… it was inappropriate and completely out of hand.”
Clover dropped her things in the hallway and quickly walked back to him. “Don’t be sorry, Mr. Fields,” she said before placing a quick kiss on his cheek. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
She began to walk away again when Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him then placed a quick, gentle kiss on her forehead. “I promise to keep this between us.” They both smiled and Clover started to leave again when he interrupted her once more. “I like you, Clover, a lot. And I don’t want this to be a onetime thing.”
Clover backed away from him smiling and turned to leave for the last time. As she grabbed her bags off the floor, she turned back to her teacher. “It won’t be.” She then turned back toward the door and walked out of it, a huge smile dancing across her lips. She wasn’t crazy, and she wasn’t reading too much into anything. Mr. Fields really did have feelings for her and she had feelings for him. Clover knew this was only the beginning; life was only going to get more complicated and exciting from here. But for now, she was going to focus on the present. She had to get home and start working on the English essay Mr. Fields assigned last Monday, considering it was due in 3 days on Friday. He may have feelings for her, but he was still her teacher and he wouldn’t hesitate to fail her for missing assignments. During the car ride home with Rose, all Clover could think was: What is Devin gonna say about this? She knew she wasn’t supposed to tell, but she also knew he could keep a secret no matter how juicy it was.
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