Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > "Yeah It's Cool, I'll Be Okay ..."

Chapter 1

by The-Nerd-Extremist 0 reviews

Chapter 1

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Horror - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2016-06-23 - 1826 words - Complete


I'm not sure what they said
But if it's true I'll bet
Just one more thing I'll regret
I hate my weaknesses
They made me who I am ...

Tyler has always had depression ... It's something that he's carried around everywhere. He's also getting used to the fact that no one understands how it works, or how he sees things ... or how to help him. He feels alone. All the time. Even though he's in a crowd of people, surrounded by loving fans or loving family and friends. He feels alone. Nobody understands, and he wants for once, to have somebody that really understand what happens behind his forehead ... He wants someone to read between the lines of the song lyrics that he sings.

It's not always this bad though, sometimes he can feel the people around him, feel the emotions they send him, feel their love and affection towards him. It's really not that much of a problem anymore. It used to be a big problem for Tyler, the depression and the episodes weren't very controllable ... But he's learned from the past and he's getting better and containing and controlling the conflicting emotions and his depression. But that's not the most worrying problem. That's not what he wants, no, needs help with.

He needs help with Blurryface. Oh yeah, he's real. And he's bad.

"Yeah, it's cool, I'll be okay"
I felt your pain wash over me
I dry your eyes and hide my shakes
I hate that look that's on your face

Blurryface is the dark thoughts in Tyler ... Every insult that anyone has ever said to him collected in the back of his mind. They eventually formed Blurryface, but he was nice to Tyler ... At first anyway ... He would accompany Tyler wherever he went, and that wasn't a bad thing. Blurryface gave Tyler someone to talk to when he was alone. Blurryface made Tyler feel better when the bullies from his school came after him. Blurryface gained Tyler's complete trust, Tyler believed whatever Blurryface said to him, he would do whatever Blurryface told him to, believing that it was a good thing to do and it was the right thing to do.

But eventually Blurryface began to change into something that wasn't helping Tyler. He became Tyler's worst nightmare. But it was a gradual thing, slowly telling Tyler to do things that were wrong and harmful. Blurryface started to whisper little things to Tyler, making him believe that he was what everyone thought of him. He made Tyler believe that he was worthless, he was nothing to anyone, he was good for nothing, he was weak, useless, unhelpful, ungrateful, runt of the family, his parents didn't love him, he wasn't good enough for anyone, nobody loved him, nobody cared about him, nobody wanted him, he was a burden to the family, his brothers and sisters hated him, his whole family despised him ... The list goes on and on.

And Tyler believed every word of it. Blurryface stopped telling Tyler good things about him, and only told him the bad things. Stopped helping him when the bullies came after him. Stopped supporting Tyler altogether, and started to drag him down to the depths of the darkness. Tyler stopped standing up for himself, stopped trying to be a good boy, stopped trying to have friends, and accepted the fact that Blurryface was right.

Gradually Tyler let himself fall, let himself be dragged down into the depths, let himself drown because of Blurryface ... He became greatly depressed, had frequent episodes of depression where he just wouldn't function. He even started to self-harm to try and escape Blurryface, but Blurry found out and instead of trying to stop Tyler doing that, he encouraged it, he made Tyler continue doing it. So Tyler did. And he has thousands of scars to prove it. All along his arms, his legs, his stomach, everywhere was marked by Blurryface. Tyler was slipping away from everything, he was becoming numb, not responding to what was happening around him, falling ever downwards, his parachute cord broken long ago by the parachute itself. Eventually Blurryface started to edge Tyler towards killing himself, committing suicide, leaving this place and joining Blurry forever. Tyler had learned the hard way to accept whatever Blurryface said and to do as he was told otherwise he'd be severely punished by Blurry.

So he did as he was told, his family's protests went unheard and unnoticed. Tyler tried drowning himself, like Blurryface said to, but it didn't work. He couldn't fight his body's will to live. He tried to hang himself from a tree, but he didn't know how to tie the knot properly, and so he fell and broke his arm. His parents took him to hospital and had his arm looked at, all the while asking if they could have a psychiatrist or a psychologist look at him for his depression and his self-harming. The doctors complied with his parents requests and found that Tyler had chronic depression, so they put him on Fluoxetine (Prozac) and told him to take one tablet a day, telling him it would help get rid of Blurryface and prevent him from talking to Tyler. They also said it would help him feel better and happy again.

These things inside my head,
They never make much sense
I wouldn't hold my breath...
I hope I die before they save my soul

Blurryface was furious with Tyler, mentally beating him for even thinking that he could get rid of Blurry, telling him that the medication would do him no good at all. But Tyler had found hope in what the doctors had said, that the medicine would take away the depressing thoughts and help him be happy again, something he hadn't been in years. So he took one that night. All the while putting up with Blurryface's screaming profanities and calling him every name under the sun for doing such a thing and betraying Blurryface. The last thing Tyler heard him say was that when he came back, he would pay for what he had done and he would be begging for mercy. Tyler fell unconscious to the ground due to the medication taking effect. When he woke up he was expecting the worst, to see Blurryface hovering above him, red eyes blazing with a fiery anger that would consume him whole, would burn him alive ... Those red blazing eyes would pierce his own brown orbs and rip his soul to shreds ...

But when he opened his eyes, he was met with his plain old ceiling ... Not seeing Blurryface above him, Tyler hesitantly rose from his bedroom floor, his fearful eyes scanning every corner, every crack, every nook and cranny of his room, searching for Blurryface, looking for him to jump out at him and destroy him. But he didn't see him ... Blurryface was nowhere to be found.

Blurryface was gone ... He wasn't even whispering in Tyler's mind. Silence. Sweet, beautiful silence. Tyler was overjoyed. He was finally free from Blurryface's horror. Being mindful of his broken arm, Tyler ran downstairs and went to tell his parents the good news. Blurryface was gone and Tyler was free at last ... Then he stopped half way down the hall ... Was he free though? Tyler didn't know ... Because sure the medication made Blurryface leave him in peace, but how long would that last for? How long was it going to be before Blurryface found a way to get back to Tyler, how long could he survive?

Things started to get somewhat better for Tyler, he learned how to avoid the bullies at school and he learned to play music. He started to write lyrics to songs that he thought would never get sung, about his mind and what has happened to him ... And just his general thoughts, which were still quite depressing ... He was still clinically depressed even though he was on medication for it. But the medication only fixed the worst of the problems, it didn't actually fully fix him like they said it would.

Eventually he made it out of college alive ... Barely ... Because he was still depressed and still believed the things that Blurryface had once whispered at 3 in the morning to him so long ago. He still cut himself, still didn't eat properly, still believed that he was a nobody.

Let's face it, I'm never gonna make it Tyler constantly thought to himself. And he continued to do this, even after he was in his own band with two other people who valued his creativity and his song lyrics. He started to feel a little happier though, around his band mates and his crew. They started to make him feel ... accepted. But even then, he still continued to believe the things that Blurryface had said to him oh so long ago. It had been years since Tyler had last heard Blurryface's taunts, but he could still remember every word of them, as if they were being said to him right that very second. He was not okay, but still he continued to write his lyrics and eventually, twenty øne piløts released their first album, self-titled as "Twenty Øne Piløts".

Tyler thought it wouldn't get very far, maybe sell a couple of records here and there, nobody would really listen to it, nobody would really care enough about it to even notice it ... But he was wrong. By a long shot, as we all know. Eventually though, Tyler's other bands mates had to leave the band, they had family issues and other commitments that needed to be taken care of. And they left him, but they also gave him a replacement drummer, so the band could still continue. They gave him Joshua William Dun, who could play both the drums and the trumpet.

Tyler though that Josh was pretty cool, he was a nice guy, decent and well mannered, but still was joking and played pranks every now and then. Tyler didn't think that he would be able to tell Josh anything about his past or his current situation, so he decided to keep it to himself ... for now.

Josh though that Tyler looked like a cool guy, shy and quiet, alone and kept to himself, but he thought that once they got to know each other better, they'd be telling each other everything. Josh also thought that Tyler looked pained, like he was constantly fighting something ... but he didn't want to press it just yet, maybe when they had gotten to know each other a bit better would he try to understand what went on inside Tyler's head.

"Yeah, it's cool, I'll be okay"
I felt your pain wash over me
I dry your eyes and hide my shakes
I hate that look that's on your face

So Josh and Tyler began to continue making twenty øne piløts happen and eventually started to get to know each other better as friends.
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